Today I Will Mostly Be.........

[Mort7]

Same format as Jesse from The Fast Show. I'll start.......

Today I will mostly be wearing a portable blood pressure monitor. [1]

[1] For those who have never been subjected to this particular torture device - a Velcro cuff which is fitted to the upper arm, connected via a grey rubber tube to a battery powered pump and monitor which is about the same size as an 80s Walkman and worn on the belt or in a shirt pocket. This is worn for 24 hours straight. So......

You look like a reject from the Borg Collective. At random intervals the pump/monitor emits a beep, and then makes farty noises while the cuff inflates. This is akin to being attacked by an anaconda. During this process your hand goes red and pulses like something from a cartoon, and you can't move your arm. If your arm is is the wrong position it encourages you to make an involuntary Nazi salute because you can't bend your elbow, and it then makes more farty noises to alert the world to your plight.

They are programmed to operate at the most inconvenient times, and particularly in public places where maximum embarrassment can be caused. Public lavatories being a speciality.

You are expect to sleep while this thing goes off throughout the night.

[funkyrobot]

... eating salty snacks.

[Cupramax]

Eating raspberry pop tarts, am I doing this wrong? You Ain’t seen me.... rrrrrright.

[grumbledoak]

Mort7 said:

You are expect to sleep while this thing goes off throughout the night.

Having been through that I decided those infernal devices were invented by the pharmaceutical industry to wind you up, raise your blood pressure, and thus flog more pills. You will be swearing at it at 2am. And 2:15. And 2:30. And so on.

For myself, today... I will mostly be waiting for electricians.

[anonymous-user]

I went without a jacket and went for a walk. I was the very picture of cool

[.:ian:.]

grumbledoak said:

Mort7 said:

You are expect to sleep while this thing goes off throughout the night.

Having been through that I decided those infernal devices were invented by the pharmaceutical industry to wind you up, raise your blood pressure, and thus flog more pills. You will be swearing at it at 2am. And 2:15. And 2:30. And so on.

For myself, today... I will mostly be waiting for electricians.

Had one too, had to take mine off overnight as I was just lying there waiting for it to go off! Awful.

...Oh also driving back from the drs wearing it was fun, it's less than 5 mins but went off three times!

Edited by .:ian:. on Monday 8th April 17:33

[J4CKO]

Installing SQL Server Clusters.

[Jasandjules]

Writing letters....

[NoVetec]

J4CKO said:

Installing SQL Server Clusters.

st name for a cereal.

[knk]

.:ian:. said:

grumbledoak said:

Mort7 said:

You are expect to sleep while this thing goes off throughout the night.

Having been through that I decided those infernal devices were invented by the pharmaceutical industry to wind you up, raise your blood pressure, and thus flog more pills. You will be swearing at it at 2am. And 2:15. And 2:30. And so on.

For myself, today... I will mostly be waiting for electricians.

Had one too, had to take mine off overnight as I was just lying there waiting for it to go off! Awful.

...Oh also driving back from the drs wearing it was fun, it's less than 5 mins but went off three times!

Edited by .:ian:. on Monday 8th April 17:33

It should be set to go off every half hour during the day, and hourly during quiet hours.
It should not be too intrusive for gold standard monitoring and diagnosis of a serious and lifelong condition that is very treatable.

[grumbledoak]

knk said:

It should be set to go off every half hour during the day, and hourly during quiet hours.
It should not be too intrusive for gold standard monitoring and diagnosis of a serious and lifelong condition that is very treatable.

And when the fking thing is going off every fifteen minutes all night you get true reading, do you think? Or the poor patient has now drunk an extra bottle in the hope of passing out because he’s sure not getting any sleep!

[Mort7]

It's definitely random. Sometime a couple of times in as many minutes, and anything up to 30 minutes just to keep you in your toes. Seems to abort if I keep my arm bent, then go again a little later.