Eating problems with our 17 year old son
Discussion
Good Morning folks
Our 17 year old son is quite skinny and doesn't eat properly. We think he may have some sort of eating disorder.
We are trying to persuade him to go to the doctors for a quick chat/check up, but he refuses to go.
Can you advice the best way to persuade him to speak to the doctor?
Thanks
Our 17 year old son is quite skinny and doesn't eat properly. We think he may have some sort of eating disorder.
We are trying to persuade him to go to the doctors for a quick chat/check up, but he refuses to go.
Can you advice the best way to persuade him to speak to the doctor?
Thanks
geek84 said:
Good Morning folks
Our 17 year old son is quite skinny and doesn't eat properly. We think he may have some sort of eating disorder.
We are trying to persuade him to go to the doctors for a quick chat/check up, but he refuses to go.
Can you advice the best way to persuade him to speak to the doctor?
Thanks
What's his favourite food? Make sure there is always plenty of it laying around the house, the more calorific the better. See if it goes, if it does just keep the cupboards stocked up for now.Our 17 year old son is quite skinny and doesn't eat properly. We think he may have some sort of eating disorder.
We are trying to persuade him to go to the doctors for a quick chat/check up, but he refuses to go.
Can you advice the best way to persuade him to speak to the doctor?
Thanks
There's a world of difference between a bit skinny and a full blown eating disorder
I was skinny aged 17, 28 inch waist jeans needed a belt and my ribs stuck out more than by belly... didn’t have an eating disorder, I was just walking lots because I couldn’t drive!
Unrelated but I had mental health issues at about that age and would not go to the doctors until I decided I needed to. My point there is that the more you suggest it, the less likely he is to go, it needs to be his choice, eating disorder or not.
How tall is he and how much does he weigh? Is he actually underweight or just a beanpole?
Unrelated but I had mental health issues at about that age and would not go to the doctors until I decided I needed to. My point there is that the more you suggest it, the less likely he is to go, it needs to be his choice, eating disorder or not.
How tall is he and how much does he weigh? Is he actually underweight or just a beanpole?
Hi Folks
Thanks for your replies. Our son doesn't seem to east enough. We make him his favourite foods and regardless of how much is on the plate, he still leaves something behind.
He only has one toast in the morning and a burger at lunch time in college.
His last meal of the day is usaully beans, waffles, and perhaps chips.
His bones seem to be sticking out as if he is malnourished.
Thanks for your replies. Our son doesn't seem to east enough. We make him his favourite foods and regardless of how much is on the plate, he still leaves something behind.
He only has one toast in the morning and a burger at lunch time in college.
His last meal of the day is usaully beans, waffles, and perhaps chips.
His bones seem to be sticking out as if he is malnourished.
geek84 said:
Hi Folks
Thanks for your replies. Our son doesn't seem to east enough. We make him his favourite foods and regardless of how much is on the plate, he still leaves something behind.
He only has one toast in the morning and a burger at lunch time in college.
His last meal of the day is usaully beans, waffles, and perhaps chips.
His bones seem to be sticking out as if he is malnourished.
I'd say he doesn't have an eating disorder he's just a beanpole. I could eat everything under the sun when I was eighteen, I'd have at least three or four Mars bars a day, a typical lunch was curry and rice with six rounds of bread and I couldn't get above 9 stone (I'm 6' tall). Now I have to work to get under 15 stone.Thanks for your replies. Our son doesn't seem to east enough. We make him his favourite foods and regardless of how much is on the plate, he still leaves something behind.
He only has one toast in the morning and a burger at lunch time in college.
His last meal of the day is usaully beans, waffles, and perhaps chips.
His bones seem to be sticking out as if he is malnourished.
He's eating plenty of calories, just not the most healthy type.
geek84 said:
Hi Folks
Thanks for your replies. Our son doesn't seem to east enough. We make him his favourite foods and regardless of how much is on the plate, he still leaves something behind.
He only has one toast in the morning and a burger at lunch time in college.
His last meal of the day is usaully beans, waffles, and perhaps chips.
His bones seem to be sticking out as if he is malnourished.
You need to get some fruit and veg into him, and some dairy too - at 17 he may well still be growing, so he needs Calcium more than most.Thanks for your replies. Our son doesn't seem to east enough. We make him his favourite foods and regardless of how much is on the plate, he still leaves something behind.
He only has one toast in the morning and a burger at lunch time in college.
His last meal of the day is usaully beans, waffles, and perhaps chips.
His bones seem to be sticking out as if he is malnourished.
From what you have described, it doesn't sound like a typical eating disorder, but I wouldn't rule anything out at this stage.
What happens if you go out for a family meal - something simple like a pizza - does he "act normally"?
What about family meals (if you have them) - will he sit down with the rest of the family?
Is he obsessed with food, despite not eating enough? (google the "Minnesota Study")
As for visiting the doctor - chances are they will be pretty useless. In my experience very few GPs understand eating disorders (apologies to any reading this that do - but you are definitely in the minority). The magic metric that they use is weight for height - a bit like BMI but simply dividing one by the other. Anything below 85% of the lower acceptable limit starts to ring alarm bells - you can probably work this number out for yourself.
If he does have an eating disorder, then the place to start is Camhs - but as he is 17 it's probably not even worth trying to get into that system. That leaves you, or more accurately him, with Adult Services - which you have zero control / input into.
What happens if you go out for a family meal - something simple like a pizza - does he "act normally"?
What about family meals (if you have them) - will he sit down with the rest of the family?
Is he obsessed with food, despite not eating enough? (google the "Minnesota Study")
As for visiting the doctor - chances are they will be pretty useless. In my experience very few GPs understand eating disorders (apologies to any reading this that do - but you are definitely in the minority). The magic metric that they use is weight for height - a bit like BMI but simply dividing one by the other. Anything below 85% of the lower acceptable limit starts to ring alarm bells - you can probably work this number out for yourself.
If he does have an eating disorder, then the place to start is Camhs - but as he is 17 it's probably not even worth trying to get into that system. That leaves you, or more accurately him, with Adult Services - which you have zero control / input into.
You say he leaves food, but how much does he actually eat/leave?
Yep, me, too. In my teens, one of my cousins described me as a guitar because my ribs stuck out.
ATG said:
I was painfully thin at that age irrespective of what I ate. (By my mid-30s I was forced to concede that this was no longer the case.)
Yep, me, too. In my teens, one of my cousins described me as a guitar because my ribs stuck out.
I would be very careful about undermining his own confidence in his body. There may be nothing wrong at the moment either with his growth or his eating. But if you let him know that you think there's something abnormal about him, that you think he looks odd, that you think he may have psychological problems there's a risk you'll be the cause of him genuinely developing self-image and eating problems.
If he's eating that many carbs, I'd say he's not malnourished, but it's a bit of a s
t diet, IMO.
That said, leave him to it, so he's not on edge when he's at home. His metabolism will slow down and then you'll be asking us for diet tips for him....
I had a 28 waist until I was about 19. I was then working long hours, gave up competitive cycling and drank lager!
Bye, bye 28 waist!
(I've 2 nephews (they're brothers) in their early twenties. One is 6'4", and about 11.5 stone, the other's 6'6" and about 11.5 stone! They eat like starved horses, and the bds never get fat! 
)
t diet, IMO. That said, leave him to it, so he's not on edge when he's at home. His metabolism will slow down and then you'll be asking us for diet tips for him....
I had a 28 waist until I was about 19. I was then working long hours, gave up competitive cycling and drank lager!
Bye, bye 28 waist!
(I've 2 nephews (they're brothers) in their early twenties. One is 6'4", and about 11.5 stone, the other's 6'6" and about 11.5 stone! They eat like starved horses, and the b
ds never get fat! )Edited by RC1807 on Monday 6th May 14:46
I was incredibly skinny as a kid. i remember going on holiday in my teens and being very self conscious about it. I'd cover up by the pool with a T Shirt.
As I got to my late teens and early twenties it was still a problem so I hit the gym and bulked up a little, not overly but just enough to move up to a 30 waist. Of course now I blame this on my constant battle with getting below 15st
As I got to my late teens and early twenties it was still a problem so I hit the gym and bulked up a little, not overly but just enough to move up to a 30 waist. Of course now I blame this on my constant battle with getting below 15st
All i can give is my own experience.
At that age i had crippling anxiety, i used to get so worked up about going on a date, going on nights out, and all sorts of random scenarios, as a result i was sick to my bones and literally went full days without eating much more than one sandwhich.
Are you sure his mental health is okay, most 17 year olds would eat all day.
At that age i had crippling anxiety, i used to get so worked up about going on a date, going on nights out, and all sorts of random scenarios, as a result i was sick to my bones and literally went full days without eating much more than one sandwhich.
Are you sure his mental health is okay, most 17 year olds would eat all day.
Steeping away and looking from a different approach here...
Aside from his skinny appearance have you noticed any changes in his personality?
From what you said he's obviously eating food and not choice food thats low in cals etc so I'd suggest perhaps not an eating disorder
Have you considered potential drug use? At 17 it's not unheard of and it seems a lot of youngster dabble in them and this can surpress appetite and cause weight loss.
Aside from his skinny appearance have you noticed any changes in his personality?
From what you said he's obviously eating food and not choice food thats low in cals etc so I'd suggest perhaps not an eating disorder
Have you considered potential drug use? At 17 it's not unheard of and it seems a lot of youngster dabble in them and this can surpress appetite and cause weight loss.
geek84 said:
The one main difference in his attitude that we have both noticed is that he likes to stay in his bedroom as much as he can, and doesn't really like to socialise with the rest of the family members when we are all downstairs (say) watching the TV.
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