Anyone found a half brother or sister?
Discussion
No, however I've thought of doing something similar. My biological father had other children after my mother got away from him. I have considered trying to track them down, but I don't know if it is worth opening that can of worms.
I wish you good luck though! If you don't mind me asking, what are you looking to get out of it?
I wish you good luck though! If you don't mind me asking, what are you looking to get out of it?
i went through this but my half sister found me.
all went pretty well although it was a very difficult time for me personally at home at that time but we more or less kept in touch over the years, however we are no longer in contact at my behest.
if you want some insight into this i'd be more than happy to tell my story.
if not I would just urge caution, for any number of reasons it will be an emotional time and whilst it can work, it often doesn't and it can leave scars and bitterness.
think carefully but if you do go with it I wish you luck.
all went pretty well although it was a very difficult time for me personally at home at that time but we more or less kept in touch over the years, however we are no longer in contact at my behest.
if you want some insight into this i'd be more than happy to tell my story.
if not I would just urge caution, for any number of reasons it will be an emotional time and whilst it can work, it often doesn't and it can leave scars and bitterness.
think carefully but if you do go with it I wish you luck.
About a year ago on Facebook, I posted on a group that was about the village I grew up in until the age of 10. An elderly lady replied commenting that I had an unusual surname and that she used to live next door to a lady of the same surname.
We took it to PM and initially she told me that she remembered me as a baby. Even had a pic of my mum in her house.... after exchanging a few more messages, it became clear through the dates that the baby wasn't me, it was 2-3 years older than me. Went investigating on a website called Free BMD, found his birth certificate record, sent off for it and lo & behold, it was an older brother/half brother that had been adopted.
Went back to the lady to thank her and (plot twist coming!!), she said she wasn't sure about the dates exactly but that my Mum had the baby when she was very, very young. Well the brother/half brother would have been born when she was 21 but this lady said my Mum would have been maybe 16 or 17, quite taboo in those days to have a child out of wedlock. Checked again online but nothing for that year or a year either side but chances are I have two older siblings.
To bring things up to today, I went to see an adoption charity that does the legwork. I had a DOB, a name, and I knew he had been adopted. The whole process would cost £625 but the initial part set me back £130 which I paid. They did some digging and found he had been adopted in Wiltshire, about 20 miles from where I live now but more than 60 miles from where he was born.
Then, bad news. On 31st March this year, the charity went into administration. My case may be referred on to another charity or adoption agency, I'm not sure yet. The meetings I had with the agency warned me against investigating myself and also said to beware of a strange phenomenon whereby the person searching can, in some cases, have very powerful feelings towards the sibling, regardless of whether they are different sexes, same sex, straight or gay, when they find them.
So SC, I'd be careful and maybe talk to someone before you meet them. I have no idea how far my case has progressed, I have no idea whether he even knows I exist. I'd love to meet a brother I never knew I had, being that I have grown up an only child and I'm 51 years old now. I hope he'd like to meet me, however I will keep the fact I'm a Yeovil Town fan hidden until the last moment.
We took it to PM and initially she told me that she remembered me as a baby. Even had a pic of my mum in her house.... after exchanging a few more messages, it became clear through the dates that the baby wasn't me, it was 2-3 years older than me. Went investigating on a website called Free BMD, found his birth certificate record, sent off for it and lo & behold, it was an older brother/half brother that had been adopted.
Went back to the lady to thank her and (plot twist coming!!), she said she wasn't sure about the dates exactly but that my Mum had the baby when she was very, very young. Well the brother/half brother would have been born when she was 21 but this lady said my Mum would have been maybe 16 or 17, quite taboo in those days to have a child out of wedlock. Checked again online but nothing for that year or a year either side but chances are I have two older siblings.
To bring things up to today, I went to see an adoption charity that does the legwork. I had a DOB, a name, and I knew he had been adopted. The whole process would cost £625 but the initial part set me back £130 which I paid. They did some digging and found he had been adopted in Wiltshire, about 20 miles from where I live now but more than 60 miles from where he was born.
Then, bad news. On 31st March this year, the charity went into administration. My case may be referred on to another charity or adoption agency, I'm not sure yet. The meetings I had with the agency warned me against investigating myself and also said to beware of a strange phenomenon whereby the person searching can, in some cases, have very powerful feelings towards the sibling, regardless of whether they are different sexes, same sex, straight or gay, when they find them.
So SC, I'd be careful and maybe talk to someone before you meet them. I have no idea how far my case has progressed, I have no idea whether he even knows I exist. I'd love to meet a brother I never knew I had, being that I have grown up an only child and I'm 51 years old now. I hope he'd like to meet me, however I will keep the fact I'm a Yeovil Town fan hidden until the last moment.
Slightly different for me. I know I have half siblings I've never met and never plan to.
Long story short(ish).
Dad with A and had my older half sister. A left him. He met my mum, married my mum had me. Mum left him (thank god), he went back to A and my younger half sister was born.
Fast forward 19/20 years and he says hes leaving A and married some women in London...oh and she's pregnant with his kid.
A also found a photo of another child in his wallet that he played off as 'a friends son' (A wasn't that bright!). Dates match up with a few bits that makes me 99% sure that kid is his as well.
I've never met them and don't plan to. It wouldn't surprise me if there were more around my age. If I got contact from them (I doubt I will), I wont be replying. Life is better without him in my life.
Long story short(ish).
Dad with A and had my older half sister. A left him. He met my mum, married my mum had me. Mum left him (thank god), he went back to A and my younger half sister was born.
Fast forward 19/20 years and he says hes leaving A and married some women in London...oh and she's pregnant with his kid.
A also found a photo of another child in his wallet that he played off as 'a friends son' (A wasn't that bright!). Dates match up with a few bits that makes me 99% sure that kid is his as well.
I've never met them and don't plan to. It wouldn't surprise me if there were more around my age. If I got contact from them (I doubt I will), I wont be replying. Life is better without him in my life.
I found this story on a Facebook local history page earlier today:
"In St Mary's Church at Martham, near Great Yarmouth, are two grave slabs that now lean against the south wall:
'Here Lyeth The Body of Christopher Burraway, who departed this life ye 18th day of October, Anno Domini 1730 Aged 59 years'.
And 'Here Lyes Alice, who by hir Life was my Sister, my Mistress, My Mother, and my Wife. Dyed Feb ye 12th, 1729 Aged 76 years.'
The story told is this: During the 17th century the Burraway family had a farm. An incestuous relationship between 17-old-Alice and her father (don't know if this was consensual) resulted in the birth of a son in 1671, who was placed in a orphanage far away. When the boy, Christopher, grew up he was apprenticed to a farmer and when he had finished his training he set out to find employment.
By some coincidence he arrived at Martham and applied for a job at Burraway Farm - now run by Alice as her parents were now dead - and she took him on. With both of them completely unaware of any connection, a romance blossomed which later led to marriage. Twenty years later, in 1729, Alice happened to notice two moles on Christopher's right shoulder, identical to those on her own and her father's - and the realisation hit her that she had seen exactly the same on her baby.
She went to the orphanage, who confirmed that Christopher was indeed her son. The shock of it killed her. When Christopher learned the tragic truth of the whole situation, he became very ill and died the following year."
You might say that's normal for Norfolk.
I suppose these DNA sites might serve some purpose in certain cases, and there are plenty of IVF people walking about nowadays, but the odds are slim, I suppose, against encountering one in a romantic way. But there's nothing new under the sun, is there?
"In St Mary's Church at Martham, near Great Yarmouth, are two grave slabs that now lean against the south wall:
'Here Lyeth The Body of Christopher Burraway, who departed this life ye 18th day of October, Anno Domini 1730 Aged 59 years'.
And 'Here Lyes Alice, who by hir Life was my Sister, my Mistress, My Mother, and my Wife. Dyed Feb ye 12th, 1729 Aged 76 years.'
The story told is this: During the 17th century the Burraway family had a farm. An incestuous relationship between 17-old-Alice and her father (don't know if this was consensual) resulted in the birth of a son in 1671, who was placed in a orphanage far away. When the boy, Christopher, grew up he was apprenticed to a farmer and when he had finished his training he set out to find employment.
By some coincidence he arrived at Martham and applied for a job at Burraway Farm - now run by Alice as her parents were now dead - and she took him on. With both of them completely unaware of any connection, a romance blossomed which later led to marriage. Twenty years later, in 1729, Alice happened to notice two moles on Christopher's right shoulder, identical to those on her own and her father's - and the realisation hit her that she had seen exactly the same on her baby.
She went to the orphanage, who confirmed that Christopher was indeed her son. The shock of it killed her. When Christopher learned the tragic truth of the whole situation, he became very ill and died the following year."
You might say that's normal for Norfolk.
I suppose these DNA sites might serve some purpose in certain cases, and there are plenty of IVF people walking about nowadays, but the odds are slim, I suppose, against encountering one in a romantic way. But there's nothing new under the sun, is there?
I was put up for adoption at birth, my mother being an unmarried RC aged 24, no father's name on my birth certificate. I was adopted soon afterwards and although I knew from before I was a teenager that I was adopted it was never an issue of any kind at all.
It was only after my Mum and Dad had both died that I delved into their family histories and in doing so read my adoption papers, all of which they'd kept. I had my original name and my biological mother's name and an address in Essex. I traced her parents, then found details of her marriage 16 years after I'd been born. Thne I found where she and her husband lived in 2002 (two miles from where I was born) and there was a third name, that of their son, my half brother.
There it ends, for now, possibly for ever I don't have any particular urge to make contact with him (his parents would be in their late 90s if they're still alive) so I think that's where it'll rest. There's only one thing I might have liked, a photo of her when she was aged around 24. As for my half brother - until a few weeks ago I didn't know he existed, he almost certainly doesn't know that I do, what would be the point?
As an aside, in finding out all this I've also made contact with a cousin I haven't seen for over 50 years, not since we were in our early teens. We're getting together next week.
ETA - I've done a DNA test. It indicates I'm part Scottish. I don't know which part but I've always really liked haggis!
It was only after my Mum and Dad had both died that I delved into their family histories and in doing so read my adoption papers, all of which they'd kept. I had my original name and my biological mother's name and an address in Essex. I traced her parents, then found details of her marriage 16 years after I'd been born. Thne I found where she and her husband lived in 2002 (two miles from where I was born) and there was a third name, that of their son, my half brother.
There it ends, for now, possibly for ever I don't have any particular urge to make contact with him (his parents would be in their late 90s if they're still alive) so I think that's where it'll rest. There's only one thing I might have liked, a photo of her when she was aged around 24. As for my half brother - until a few weeks ago I didn't know he existed, he almost certainly doesn't know that I do, what would be the point?
As an aside, in finding out all this I've also made contact with a cousin I haven't seen for over 50 years, not since we were in our early teens. We're getting together next week.
ETA - I've done a DNA test. It indicates I'm part Scottish. I don't know which part but I've always really liked haggis!
Edited by Riley Blue on Friday 3rd May 18:52
Edited by Riley Blue on Saturday 4th May 07:23
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