Greetings at wedding/party.
Discussion
Bit of a strange question I suppose but it's been on my mind a bit over the last week and I'm really not good at these things.
I'm slightly socially awkward around people I don't know that well but am getting married on the weekend and having a fairly large party. Large for me anyway, around 75 guests. I'll ask the questions that's on my mind and maybe others could help with just what's expected or what's ok. There may be more questions if thread progresses.
1. When greeting people and welcoming them, I've never been that comfortable going in for the cheek kiss/hug/mwahh thing. I just find it weird other than with close family and very good friends. I don't want to spend the whole afternoon wondering wether I should be kissing my friends wives, my wife's aunties, my work colleagues who have come, My wife's friends.... I hate it. Do I have to do it. Shaking a woman's hand always seems weird too. What is the etiquette for this?
2. At the party there's a band and a bar, a buffet and indoor outdoor seating etc. Really nice environment. Obviously being a wedding there's a load of different type of people. Lots of friends from different parts of our lives. Lots of people know me very well or know my wife very well. How much effort should a host put into getting people together and meeting each other? Introductions, again, I don't fancy spending all night telling people "this is Kevin from work, Kevin, this is my dad".... Etc etc or is this just what is polite and expected. Is this what hosting a wedding party becomes. I guess so to a degree. But I'd also like to enjoy the day myself and spend time with my new wife.
Any thoughts?
I'm slightly socially awkward around people I don't know that well but am getting married on the weekend and having a fairly large party. Large for me anyway, around 75 guests. I'll ask the questions that's on my mind and maybe others could help with just what's expected or what's ok. There may be more questions if thread progresses.
1. When greeting people and welcoming them, I've never been that comfortable going in for the cheek kiss/hug/mwahh thing. I just find it weird other than with close family and very good friends. I don't want to spend the whole afternoon wondering wether I should be kissing my friends wives, my wife's aunties, my work colleagues who have come, My wife's friends.... I hate it. Do I have to do it. Shaking a woman's hand always seems weird too. What is the etiquette for this?
2. At the party there's a band and a bar, a buffet and indoor outdoor seating etc. Really nice environment. Obviously being a wedding there's a load of different type of people. Lots of friends from different parts of our lives. Lots of people know me very well or know my wife very well. How much effort should a host put into getting people together and meeting each other? Introductions, again, I don't fancy spending all night telling people "this is Kevin from work, Kevin, this is my dad".... Etc etc or is this just what is polite and expected. Is this what hosting a wedding party becomes. I guess so to a degree. But I'd also like to enjoy the day myself and spend time with my new wife.
Any thoughts?
Could you give everyone a name badge, to save all those embarrassing introductions?
eg
Hi - I am Rodney, I work with Kevin at Consolidated Widgets in the Post Room.
Hi - I am Stan, I am now Kevin's father in law. I think she could have done so much better for herself. She had such a bright boyfriend in her teens, he went to Cambridge and she lost touch.
That sort of thing.
Good idea?
eg
Hi - I am Rodney, I work with Kevin at Consolidated Widgets in the Post Room.
Hi - I am Stan, I am now Kevin's father in law. I think she could have done so much better for herself. She had such a bright boyfriend in her teens, he went to Cambridge and she lost touch.
That sort of thing.
Good idea?
I hate the kissing/hugging thing. My wife is very good at it, but as a guy, it kinda feels a bit, well, weird. I tend to wait and let the other person take the lead.
In terms of introductions, I wouldn’t bother so much. It’s a usual convo starter “oh, how do you know xxx” etc.
Although I am socially inept so I’d probably take that with a pinch of salt!
In terms of introductions, I wouldn’t bother so much. It’s a usual convo starter “oh, how do you know xxx” etc.
Although I am socially inept so I’d probably take that with a pinch of salt!
Edited by The Moose on Monday 13th May 16:45
Question 1 is a good one. I would say that if you know the person well then go for the cheek kiss. If not so well like her work friends wife then stick with the hand shake. I also try to judge what the recipient expects. For this I usually extend the arm for a hand shake but can pull them in for cheek kiss if it looks likely.
Question 2 Do not worry about that. People will either mix or they wont. You should just content your self with remembering who you have met. Time will fly by.
Question 2 Do not worry about that. People will either mix or they wont. You should just content your self with remembering who you have met. Time will fly by.
Don't worry about it at all, it's your wedding they will come to you, the men will shake your hand or hug you and the ladies will either kiss, hug or shake (your hand) you.
You will be busy doing the things that will just happen naturally over the course of the day. You don't even have to think about those, it will just happen. Everything that you're absolutely supposed to be doing, your best man will probably do for you (apart from marrying and then bonking the new wife).
Just chill and run with it. It's going to be an awesome day.
You will be busy doing the things that will just happen naturally over the course of the day. You don't even have to think about those, it will just happen. Everything that you're absolutely supposed to be doing, your best man will probably do for you (apart from marrying and then bonking the new wife).
Just chill and run with it. It's going to be an awesome day.
keirik said:
Just kiss all the women and none of the men.
If a woman doesn't want you to, you'll know. Then don't worry about it.
As for the rest, it's your wedding, have fun, it's not your job to introduce people. It's a wedding they be drunk, they'll do it themselves.
Watch out for the older ladies. I got married in Ireland and I think every crone in Ulster tried to tongue-goose me as I offered them a friendly hug on exit of the chapel. If a woman doesn't want you to, you'll know. Then don't worry about it.
As for the rest, it's your wedding, have fun, it's not your job to introduce people. It's a wedding they be drunk, they'll do it themselves.
Get your best man to do all the meeting and greeting, make an excuse you're busy with you new bride.
sc0tt said:
How many people are coming to your wedding that you do not know well enough to greet???
Wedding party. I'd say around 15-20 of my wife's old friends, family, and friends fellas I will have never met. Maybe another 5 I've met but won't remember them. And at least another 5 I will remember meeting but not their names. Wedding. Zero, as it's only my parents and her parents invited.
I’ve stopped the kissing mates partners/wife’s mates thing.. it’s odd, if I wouldn’t kiss the bloke then I won’t kiss the partner.
Introductions? You’ll barely have time to say: “hello, nice to see you, yep great day thank you.”
“Ah you’re leaving, thank you so much for coming” to everyone. They’ll work the rest out themselves.
I went to one wedding where my wife’s work colleague, the bride, held my head and fully kissed me on the lips. That was odd.
Introductions? You’ll barely have time to say: “hello, nice to see you, yep great day thank you.”
“Ah you’re leaving, thank you so much for coming” to everyone. They’ll work the rest out themselves.
I went to one wedding where my wife’s work colleague, the bride, held my head and fully kissed me on the lips. That was odd.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff