When isn't honesty the best policy?
Discussion
Good relationships are based on being open and honest with each other, or at least that's what we'd like to believe.
But how honest should you be and does anyone ever really need to know everything about you? I'm in a new relationship, still in the frequent sex phase, and while we've both been pretty honest with each other there's definitely things I'm not proud of that I haven't told her yet.
Now I don't think this stuff will stop us having a good life together. But I do think it may alter the way she looks at me. There's the chance that she would never find out, but it's more likely the bigger a part of my life she becomes that someone will reveal it or give something away. So the question is do you just ride the good bit and leave the big reveal until it's fading, or gamble on just chucking the warts and all truth out there.
But how honest should you be and does anyone ever really need to know everything about you? I'm in a new relationship, still in the frequent sex phase, and while we've both been pretty honest with each other there's definitely things I'm not proud of that I haven't told her yet.
Now I don't think this stuff will stop us having a good life together. But I do think it may alter the way she looks at me. There's the chance that she would never find out, but it's more likely the bigger a part of my life she becomes that someone will reveal it or give something away. So the question is do you just ride the good bit and leave the big reveal until it's fading, or gamble on just chucking the warts and all truth out there.
If it's the past and it doesn't touch on the present what's the point in mentioning it?
I'd have pretty much zero interest in the crannies of a womanfriend's past beyond criminal convictions, diseases and surprise children. It's dead and gone.
A direct answer to a direct question is a bit different.
I'd have pretty much zero interest in the crannies of a womanfriend's past beyond criminal convictions, diseases and surprise children. It's dead and gone.
A direct answer to a direct question is a bit different.
Edited by bloomen on Monday 13th May 20:17
You'd be mad to go full disclosure early in a relationship. In my experience anything unsavoury, even if accepted when you tell the story, will never be forgotten and will be dragged up and used when it suits. Do you want to know everything about her? Maybe she spent some time on the game or enjoyed torturing animals when she was a teenager.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FnO3igOkOk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FnO3igOkOk
When you're telling your (ex)missus that becoming fat is unattractive.
I would still love them, just no longer find them attractive.
Apparently this was shallow of me, and somewhat a horrible side that she never expected to hear.
Not that she was fat/large in the slightest; she had a great figure and curves in all the right places.
I would still love them, just no longer find them attractive.
Apparently this was shallow of me, and somewhat a horrible side that she never expected to hear.
Not that she was fat/large in the slightest; she had a great figure and curves in all the right places.
bunchofkeys said:
When you're telling your (ex)missus that becoming fat is unattractive.
I would still love them, just no longer find them attractive.
Surely sobbing 'you look wonderful, dear' as the wobbling mass descends on you and tears and vomit trickle down your chin and you screw your eyes shut, there's little point in not being honest?I would still love them, just no longer find them attractive.
Without having an idea what skeletons you have in the closet it’s impossible to say how she’d react.
Not giving a suggestion here does make it sound far worse than it probably is. A mate had a pretty devious past and was desperate for it not to come out. It did, she found it hilarious which he was fine with. 10ish years on they’re still going strong.
Whatever you’ve done, chances are she’s done things you’ll never find out about.
Not giving a suggestion here does make it sound far worse than it probably is. A mate had a pretty devious past and was desperate for it not to come out. It did, she found it hilarious which he was fine with. 10ish years on they’re still going strong.
Whatever you’ve done, chances are she’s done things you’ll never find out about.
I went out with someone who went on and on about the sex she had had in the past, including the details. It was some form of obsession with her. I told her I didnt want to know, the past is the past. She couldnt understand my objection.
What you have done in the past should stay there unless it can have an impact on the future.
What you have done in the past should stay there unless it can have an impact on the future.
Some Gump said:
Never easy telling a new bird you're on the register 
bristolbaron said:
...A mate had a pretty devious past and was desperate for it not to come out. It did, she found it hilarious which he was fine with. 10ish years on they’re still going strong.
This tends to be something along the lines of shagged a hooker/call girl in the past. 
Know a guy who was far too honest when telling others. Mates didn't care, WAGs did and told any prospective girl he was seeing about his "seedy" past to sabotage any hope he had of a new relationship. Which inevitably pushed him back to the oldest profession practitioners. 
No real secrets in my past. No mental exes. No trips to rehab. No illegitimate children. I'm open enough about my flaws. Most close friends know I've spent an afternoon in the cells for example.
Only really 1 thing that 99.9% of the people I know, don't know. It's nothing awful. But I'd rather not talk about it. Few prospective girls have been told relatively early on. But despite none of them really judging me on it. Its not something I want to talk about.
To put a different slant on the question. The answer is ALWAYS when dealing with the Police. NEVER admit anything until they show you the proof/evidence...
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