Forging references! Any advice?
Discussion
There comes a point sometimes where a really good job comes along and your referees are a bit too monkey like for you and it's a dog eat dog world.
Anyway, I have been blasting through an application form and realised that I have to send the form to my referee who will send it on! So, I've decided that the deadline is sharp, I will fill both the reference in as well as forge my chums signature (as I haven't got time to fuck about). I'm going to run it by him later and prime him for phonecall/email/etc by this bunch.
I'm a hugely guilty person and am not good at lying, what do you reckon my chances are of being busted?
Public sector job!
Stu (of course this is all hypothetical)
Anyway, I have been blasting through an application form and realised that I have to send the form to my referee who will send it on! So, I've decided that the deadline is sharp, I will fill both the reference in as well as forge my chums signature (as I haven't got time to fuck about). I'm going to run it by him later and prime him for phonecall/email/etc by this bunch.
I'm a hugely guilty person and am not good at lying, what do you reckon my chances are of being busted?
Public sector job!
Stu (of course this is all hypothetical)
love machine said:In my experience - should people ever follow up a reference, it's usually just "so he was OK was he?". Reply: "Yep". "OK. Cheers, bye!"
There comes a point sometimes where a really good job comes along and your referees are a bit too monkey like for you and it's a dog eat dog world.
Anyway, I have been blasting through an application form and realised that I have to send the form to my referee who will send it on! So, I've decided that the deadline is sharp, I will fill both the reference in as well as forge my chums signature (as I haven't got time toabout). I'm going to run it by him later and prime him for phonecall/email/etc by this bunch.
I'm a hugely guilty person and am not good at lying, what do you reckon my chances are of being busted?
Public sector job!
Stu (of course this is all hypothetical)
Would you be gutted if this ruined your chances or is it just a job for the time being? Will it mean a whole sector/employer around your way would be out of the question from now on if you were caught?
I'd weigh up the risks but I wouldn't have thought it was a major problem so long as your referee will back up what you write. Also, you can trust them not to say "oh that - yeah, he wrote it"!
Recently got a new job and they needed three references. I contemplated providing names I knew would be hard to contact or come up with ones that either didnt exist or no longer work there.
Bloody glad that I didnt. I came up with the references and each one was checked with a 45 minute "interview". All were glad to help and I got glowing references which is nice. I have subsequently found out that several other previous colleagues and companies have been asked about me as hidden references too....
Sounds dubious but its not - just making sure they get good employees. Previously they got screwed over and its better to make sure in advance.
Dont risk it - you never know what might happen.
Bloody glad that I didnt. I came up with the references and each one was checked with a 45 minute "interview". All were glad to help and I got glowing references which is nice. I have subsequently found out that several other previous colleagues and companies have been asked about me as hidden references too....
Sounds dubious but its not - just making sure they get good employees. Previously they got screwed over and its better to make sure in advance.
Dont risk it - you never know what might happen.
This is serious stuff and sadly my last employers are all monkeys. I have to sort of bend the rules and say a mate is infact a professional collegue (a drummer in a band I sometimes do some gigs with ). I've written the reference and I'm going to go in and see him and say "is this OK?" and then he can write/autograph it. I think that me assuming someones identity is a bit OTT and I'm just the sort of bloke to give myself away. I am as guilty as hell and can't lie for toffee. 
The humour of the situation is that mate has an in-house BIG brother and niece, whom (girl) I took advantage of last week in a moment of drunken anaesthesia, I'm going to paying mentally for this either way!
I think I see the way out of this....
>> Edited by love machine on Tuesday 24th May 14:38
). I've written the reference and I'm going to go in and see him and say "is this OK?" and then he can write/autograph it. I think that me assuming someones identity is a bit OTT and I'm just the sort of bloke to give myself away. I am as guilty as hell and can't lie for toffee. The humour of the situation is that mate has an in-house BIG brother and niece, whom (girl) I took advantage of last week in a moment of drunken anaesthesia, I'm going to paying mentally for this either way!
I think I see the way out of this....
>> Edited by love machine on Tuesday 24th May 14:38
just a little funny story..
a company I used to work for were having issues with staff stealing.
We suspected one of the members of staff but was too difficult to prove, looked at his application form etc, checked his references again, his work history and reference were a lie, he was sacked the same day on those grounds, and I escourted him out of the building! - Class
, not something I would normally enjoy doing!
a company I used to work for were having issues with staff stealing.
We suspected one of the members of staff but was too difficult to prove, looked at his application form etc, checked his references again, his work history and reference were a lie, he was sacked the same day on those grounds, and I escourted him out of the building! - Class
, not something I would normally enjoy doing!
I'm not being dishonest, I'm just putting some shear/stress/tension/pressure on the truth.
Since I finished uni, I have been under the command of lesbian trombonists whose backs I have raised or building site foremen who cannot string 2 words together.
"So can you comment on LM's credibility as a scientist?"
"in he was in really in smart and he in well in confused the out of us s. He was a in good and a really funny er, we reckoned he was in sound, but he didn't in like in football much, the "
I can seriously imagine such a thing being submitted, in blue ink and scrawled writing.
Since I finished uni, I have been under the command of lesbian trombonists whose backs I have raised or building site foremen who cannot string 2 words together.
"So can you comment on LM's credibility as a scientist?"
"
in he was in really in smart and he in well in confused the out of us s. He was a in good and a really funny er, we reckoned he was in sound, but he didn't in like in football much, the " I can seriously imagine such a thing being submitted, in blue ink and scrawled writing.
I fing hate this sort of thing. In my field its very difficult to check CV's out. But my place have been looking lately and the blatant fantasy CV's and references that come in stagger me.
I even had my own CV sent to me a few years back with the name changed. called that one in for interview which was fun :-)
So LM if you lie on it, I hope you rot in hell. If I can be honest to the point of fault then so can the next bloke.
I even had my own CV sent to me a few years back with the name changed. called that one in for interview which was fun :-)
So LM if you lie on it, I hope you rot in hell. If I can be honest to the point of fault then so can the next bloke.
Thing is, a few companies have decided to update their HR policy to just provide a general statement along the lines of "We can confirm he worked for XYZ Plc from 1st January 2000 to 3rd April 2002." and that is all you would get from such a referee. (One of my previous employers included.) So what do you do with such useful referees?!
I forgot to tell you about a job I blatantly forged a super blagged fantasy CV for. I ended up winning a contract on a large bridge extension operation, I lead a team of steelerectors on a large suspension bridge. The job was finished well ahead of schedule and I was personally thanked by the chief! I just substituted "steelwork" for "Meccano" and my CV shone. Seriously, my only steel erecting experience was meccano, these were LARGE sections being lifted into place by a crane! several hundred foot above a big river.
Some of the chaps, including yours truly in action
I absolutely shit you not.
I do have my moments. I do really need this job and I can't afford to it up, either by getting caught or having an insufficient reference, my method is truthful in the majority, like other things, I will prove my worth in the field. 
>> Edited by love machine on Tuesday 24th May 15:40
>> Edited by love machine on Tuesday 24th May 15:42
Some of the chaps, including yours truly in action
I absolutely shit you not.
I do have my moments. I do really need this job and I can't afford to
it up, either by getting caught or having an insufficient reference, my method is truthful in the majority, like other things, I will prove my worth in the field. >> Edited by love machine on Tuesday 24th May 15:40
>> Edited by love machine on Tuesday 24th May 15:42
My only advice is don't say you regularly attend and are a long standing member of a gym, and then turn up the bloated and chronically out of shape mess that you really are*
Equally, blatent lies about speaking eight languages, volunteering at orphanages, caring about small dogs and children - they only get uncovered once you start.
* of course, by "you" I mean "me", obviously
Equally, blatent lies about speaking eight languages, volunteering at orphanages, caring about small dogs and children - they only get uncovered once you start.
* of course, by "you" I mean "me", obviously
If you know your mates will write the right thing and they are acceptable referees, then you are likely to be OK.
If you forged references from people who would not say good things about you, then you would be potentially in the doodoo. The worst case scenario would be a theft prosecution for obtaining by deception.
If you forged references from people who would not say good things about you, then you would be potentially in the doodoo. The worst case scenario would be a theft prosecution for obtaining by deception.
love machine said:
I'm a hugely guilty person and am not good at lying, what do you reckon my chances are of being busted?
Public sector job!
Stu (of course this is all hypothetical)
Depends if you post your plans on a high traffic internet forum
Oooh and he catches it at the last second! SAFE! and its a hommmmmmme run
I'm not qualified to comment on which bridge it was but that photo looks rather a lot like it. I think they did most of the bolts up. Absolute stroke of genius, the concrete deck was replaced with a steel one and that had holes in it for the lifting eyes, when tarmacing was meant to start, round headed bolts to fill the holes were 80p each, cue £10 worth of 2p's from the bank and a roll of gaffer tape to hold them in place
Needless to say, a proper job was done by the men, I merely drank lots of cups of tea and told them "very good, carry on!" We looked like something out of YMCA. It cured my fear of heights though. Angle grinder disks took 6 seconds to hit the water when thrown like frisbees! There were some funny highlights including someone dropping a disc cutter through someones yacht and sinking it
Seriously, I could never say who employed me as heads might roll.
The present state with the reference is that I'm going to keep it all above board
Needless to say, a proper job was done by the men, I merely drank lots of cups of tea and told them "very good, carry on!" We looked like something out of YMCA. It cured my fear of heights though. Angle grinder disks took 6 seconds to hit the water when thrown like frisbees! There were some funny highlights including someone dropping a disc cutter through someones yacht and sinking it
Seriously, I could never say who employed me as heads might roll.
The present state with the reference is that I'm going to keep it all above board
minimax said:
The present state with the reference is that I'm seriously worried that someone on PH is one of my potential employers, and to avoid getting royally farked i'm going to tell everyone that i'm keeping it all above board
No, rich 12345 or whatever he goes by made a point which stuck earlier. I would kick myself for getting busted and I'm not the luckiest bloke in the world.
love machine said:
love machine said:
The present state with the reference is that I'm seriously worried that someone on PH is one of my potential employers, and to avoid getting royally farked i'm going to tell everyone that i'm keeping it all above board
No, rich 12345 or whatever he goes by made a point which stuck earlier. I would kick myself for getting busted and I'm not the luckiest bloke in the world.
all right chap it was a joke!
off you go to cheer yourself up by 'pumping some sluts'
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