I f'ing hate you BBQ
Discussion
The stuff I scrape off the BBQ would look less burnt if the Americans had dropped a napalm bomb onto my BBQ. Its been 5 hours since we ate and all I can taste is the burnt of the sausages, yet again the Homer Simpson of BBQ'ing has delivered food that amounts to bits of charcoal.
I have a webber kettle BBQ, a webber chimney, webber brickets, and webber firelighters, which in most peoples hands could deliver something edible, I spent a lot of money on meat too, only to be faced with the disappointed faces of my children as I serve up blackened food, one even tried to see the positive by saying it tastes okay if you dig out the middle, which actually made me feel even more ashamed.
How hot should the damn thing be before I BBQ ffs, I held my hand over and yes it felt hot, but it has to cook food so it should be. Should I use a temperature gauge of sorts? Leave it until its bearable to hold your hand a foot or two above the coals? They were all white and I left it a good 30 mins, so to my logic it should have worked!!
The sausages leaked fat onto the coals, which responded by flaming up, so I sprayed a little water to try calm the flames, but that made more fat wash onto the coals, and a lot of smoke, and the sausages were engulfed in flame which took the chicken with it, and the burgers folded into the grill and died in sympathy, meaning they came off more suitable for bolognais than buns.
If anyone has some simple tips to BBQ effectively please let me know, or perhaps I should accept defeat and order domino's, why do I keep doing this to myself.
I have a webber kettle BBQ, a webber chimney, webber brickets, and webber firelighters, which in most peoples hands could deliver something edible, I spent a lot of money on meat too, only to be faced with the disappointed faces of my children as I serve up blackened food, one even tried to see the positive by saying it tastes okay if you dig out the middle, which actually made me feel even more ashamed.
How hot should the damn thing be before I BBQ ffs, I held my hand over and yes it felt hot, but it has to cook food so it should be. Should I use a temperature gauge of sorts? Leave it until its bearable to hold your hand a foot or two above the coals? They were all white and I left it a good 30 mins, so to my logic it should have worked!!
The sausages leaked fat onto the coals, which responded by flaming up, so I sprayed a little water to try calm the flames, but that made more fat wash onto the coals, and a lot of smoke, and the sausages were engulfed in flame which took the chicken with it, and the burgers folded into the grill and died in sympathy, meaning they came off more suitable for bolognais than buns.
If anyone has some simple tips to BBQ effectively please let me know, or perhaps I should accept defeat and order domino's, why do I keep doing this to myself.
Put the lid on.
Don’t put food directly over the coals.
Do one of these;
https://www.weber.com/GB/en/about-grill-academy/we...
Don’t put food directly over the coals.
Do one of these;
https://www.weber.com/GB/en/about-grill-academy/we...
Mr E said:
Put the lid on.
Don’t put food directly over the coals.
This - it’s dead easy once you learn that you don’t barbecue over the coals. Don’t put food directly over the coals.
Get your Weber starter going full to the brim - wait until the coals are white and tip it out one one side of the bbq.
the food goes on the other side / where there are no coals and then put the lid on - nothing will burn this way.
I cook sausages / chicken / corn / belly pork etc this way then once nearly ready you can flash the burgers steaks and lamb on the hottest part (over the coals) with the lid off. This keeps them pink in the middle.
As usual, PH doesn't fail to deliver!
Having read some of the, utterly, pretentious, twaddle written on here about BBQ's, I'll relate to you a true story!
Last Thursday I was playing a league match, in a darts league, in a small mountain village in Cyprus.
Whilst the darts games were progressing one of the villagers arrived with half an oil drum full of fire wood, mostly almond wood.
This was lit, and left for 15 minutes, while it burned vigorously.
Once the flames had died down the embers were transferred to a rectangular BBQ.
15 minutes later a dozen potatoes, wrapped in tin foil, two huge skewers, one of lamb on the bone and one of pork on the bone, were introduced to the BBQ.
40 minutes later, delicious, properly cooked, none burnt, tasty, food was served.
There wasn't a Weber in sight, no charcoal, no kettle BBQ's, no lids, no meat thermometers, no poxy gas BBQ's, just fire and meat.
Quite frankly, as a nation the UK hasn't got a clue when it comes to BBQing, you are, unquestionably, useless at it!
OP, the coals were too hot and you failed to turn the food enough, it's that, f
kin', simple!
Having read some of the, utterly, pretentious, twaddle written on here about BBQ's, I'll relate to you a true story!
Last Thursday I was playing a league match, in a darts league, in a small mountain village in Cyprus.
Whilst the darts games were progressing one of the villagers arrived with half an oil drum full of fire wood, mostly almond wood.
This was lit, and left for 15 minutes, while it burned vigorously.
Once the flames had died down the embers were transferred to a rectangular BBQ.
15 minutes later a dozen potatoes, wrapped in tin foil, two huge skewers, one of lamb on the bone and one of pork on the bone, were introduced to the BBQ.
40 minutes later, delicious, properly cooked, none burnt, tasty, food was served.
There wasn't a Weber in sight, no charcoal, no kettle BBQ's, no lids, no meat thermometers, no poxy gas BBQ's, just fire and meat.
Quite frankly, as a nation the UK hasn't got a clue when it comes to BBQing, you are, unquestionably, useless at it!
OP, the coals were too hot and you failed to turn the food enough, it's that, f
kin', simple!Havent read the whole thread as in a food coma after tonights dinner of a whole roast chicken, veggies and spuds cooked on a 20y old Weber washed down with a couple of bottles of vino
Food cooked indirectly not over the coals with the lid on
Weber charcoal chimney thing absolute genius, boggo charcoal tastes far nicer than the fast lighting stuff
Cheers
CypSIdders said:
As usual, PH doesn't fail to deliver!
Having read some of the, utterly, pretentious, twaddle written on here about BBQ's, I'll relate to you a true story!
Last Thursday I was playing a league match, in a darts league, in a small mountain village in Cyprus.
Whilst the darts games were progressing one of the villagers arrived with half an oil drum full of fire wood, mostly almond wood.
This was lit, and left for 15 minutes, while it burned vigorously.
Once the flames had died down the embers were transferred to a rectangular BBQ.
15 minutes later a dozen potatoes, wrapped in tin foil, two huge skewers, one of lamb on the bone and one of pork on the bone, were introduced to the BBQ.
40 minutes later, delicious, properly cooked, none burnt, tasty, food was served.
There wasn't a Weber in sight, no charcoal, no kettle BBQ's, no lids, no meat thermometers, no poxy gas BBQ's, just fire and meat.
Quite frankly, as a nation the UK hasn't got a clue when it comes to BBQing, you are, unquestionably, useless at it!
OP, the coals were too hot and you failed to turn the food enough, it's that, fkin', simple!
that’s not a bbq. Having read some of the, utterly, pretentious, twaddle written on here about BBQ's, I'll relate to you a true story!
Last Thursday I was playing a league match, in a darts league, in a small mountain village in Cyprus.
Whilst the darts games were progressing one of the villagers arrived with half an oil drum full of fire wood, mostly almond wood.
This was lit, and left for 15 minutes, while it burned vigorously.
Once the flames had died down the embers were transferred to a rectangular BBQ.
15 minutes later a dozen potatoes, wrapped in tin foil, two huge skewers, one of lamb on the bone and one of pork on the bone, were introduced to the BBQ.
40 minutes later, delicious, properly cooked, none burnt, tasty, food was served.
There wasn't a Weber in sight, no charcoal, no kettle BBQ's, no lids, no meat thermometers, no poxy gas BBQ's, just fire and meat.
Quite frankly, as a nation the UK hasn't got a clue when it comes to BBQing, you are, unquestionably, useless at it!
OP, the coals were too hot and you failed to turn the food enough, it's that, f
kin', simple!2gins said:
Forget the sausages and burgers, get some proper meat.
Rack of lamb this evening, steaks tomorrow.
This. My brother in law does 100s of cheap frozen burgers. I do one thick rump steak. Rack of lamb this evening, steaks tomorrow.
Doesn't matter if the coals are too hot. Its well.done on the outside and rare on the inside.
If theres sausages, i like to leave one on the bbq until the coals go out. And then see if his dog will.eat it. Not usually.
The issue here is that the OP is using traditional bbq’ing on a Weber or similar lidded bbq.
The whole idea of the lid is to use indirect or a deflector plate below the food so that the radiant head from the coals don’t hit the food directly.
This way the heat deflects around the deflector plate and acts just like a regular oven.
You can cool the food completely like this or remove the plate just before the food is done then finish it off over radiant coals.
Cook steak over radiant heat. It’s the man way. Just a little underdone from how you like it then let it rest 5 min whilst it finishes cooking itself on your plate. Soft juicy steak
The whole idea of the lid is to use indirect or a deflector plate below the food so that the radiant head from the coals don’t hit the food directly.
This way the heat deflects around the deflector plate and acts just like a regular oven.
You can cool the food completely like this or remove the plate just before the food is done then finish it off over radiant coals.
Cook steak over radiant heat. It’s the man way. Just a little underdone from how you like it then let it rest 5 min whilst it finishes cooking itself on your plate. Soft juicy steak
With you OP, have a Weber, invariably inedible
As an idiot's guide for a Weber.
Which charcoal and how long in the lighting tower? What is best to light the charcoal with (paper or firelighters)
How long burning in the kettle before putting the meat in? How long to cook sausages, burgers, steak, pork chops?
Noted not to cook over the coals.
As an idiot's guide for a Weber.
Which charcoal and how long in the lighting tower? What is best to light the charcoal with (paper or firelighters)
How long burning in the kettle before putting the meat in? How long to cook sausages, burgers, steak, pork chops?
Noted not to cook over the coals.
So essentially you don't cook over the coals? Every image you see of BBQ'ing seems to show delicious, non burnt food sizzling away over the charcoals!! At least that's how I remember it.
But thank you, and also glad I'm not the only one, will youtube it today and might try again, if the family have any BBQ faith left in me.
So in simple terms, the lid is for more than keeping the rain out, don't cook over coals, and wait even longer for it to burn down. Only potential issue I see with not cooking over coals is it doesn't leave much room for meat, but actually this raises another point that I tend to put everything on at once, like a full on food attack against the BBQ, do most stagger it and sort of eat as they go?
I also fill the chimney right to the top, am I "overcoaling" it, should I use less for a modest amount of meat?
But thank you, and also glad I'm not the only one, will youtube it today and might try again, if the family have any BBQ faith left in me.
So in simple terms, the lid is for more than keeping the rain out, don't cook over coals, and wait even longer for it to burn down. Only potential issue I see with not cooking over coals is it doesn't leave much room for meat, but actually this raises another point that I tend to put everything on at once, like a full on food attack against the BBQ, do most stagger it and sort of eat as they go?
I also fill the chimney right to the top, am I "overcoaling" it, should I use less for a modest amount of meat?
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