People pulling out
Discussion
Morning all,
This is the sort of conversation my wife has with me about her friendship group so I'll hand in my PH badge in a moment.
What are people thoughts on this;
This year out of the 8 or so that normally go to Le Mans we ended up with only 3 going this year.
Because it was such a small party we tailored timings more so to suit one of them and it also saves on A/L etc. This meant not travelling on the Thursday morning like normal to arrive 1200 to set up, (which is also cheaper) and instead travelling on the latest ferry on Thursday so he could work - fair enough, happy to oblige. As said, saves on A/L and he's a contractor so day rates etc.
However he called yesterday to say that;
A, He is still coming and travelling with us but not staying with us for the Friday night as he is staying with friends locally. He'll leave shortly after we arrive and return an hour after the start of the race.
B, He is travelling back on his friends plane just after the race. (Friend of his part owns one of the teams).
C, Because he is now coming back on the plane and lives a few hours from me he has taken the Thursday off to make his way to mine on the train(s) to leave on Thursday early evening - negating the requirement to leave later on the Thursday than we would normally do.
He's paid his share of all to date but it will leave fuel, food and toll costs on the return etc but that is minimum - so not upset with that.
It is however grating on me but I'm not really sure why. He's paid his way and we're not out of pocket but we could have left earlier especially now that he has taken that day off anyway. Maybe it's because it has changed the dynamics of the trip?
Your views on it please.
This is the sort of conversation my wife has with me about her friendship group so I'll hand in my PH badge in a moment.
What are people thoughts on this;
This year out of the 8 or so that normally go to Le Mans we ended up with only 3 going this year.
Because it was such a small party we tailored timings more so to suit one of them and it also saves on A/L etc. This meant not travelling on the Thursday morning like normal to arrive 1200 to set up, (which is also cheaper) and instead travelling on the latest ferry on Thursday so he could work - fair enough, happy to oblige. As said, saves on A/L and he's a contractor so day rates etc.
However he called yesterday to say that;
A, He is still coming and travelling with us but not staying with us for the Friday night as he is staying with friends locally. He'll leave shortly after we arrive and return an hour after the start of the race.
B, He is travelling back on his friends plane just after the race. (Friend of his part owns one of the teams).
C, Because he is now coming back on the plane and lives a few hours from me he has taken the Thursday off to make his way to mine on the train(s) to leave on Thursday early evening - negating the requirement to leave later on the Thursday than we would normally do.
He's paid his share of all to date but it will leave fuel, food and toll costs on the return etc but that is minimum - so not upset with that.
It is however grating on me but I'm not really sure why. He's paid his way and we're not out of pocket but we could have left earlier especially now that he has taken that day off anyway. Maybe it's because it has changed the dynamics of the trip?
Your views on it please.
This is "the problem" when trying to get a group together.
I've done my fair share of it (even recently).
From now on I'm doing my own thing with timings that suit me, and booking my own hotel and room.
If anyone wants to tag on with that that's fine but I won't any longer be doing group booking it will be up to them to make their own arrangements.
As for your situation, it seems clear to me that "your friend" would rather be elsewhere.
I would see if you can get the crossing 'YOU WANT' and enjoy yourself. It's your holiday trip, don't cater for others.
I've done my fair share of it (even recently).
From now on I'm doing my own thing with timings that suit me, and booking my own hotel and room.
If anyone wants to tag on with that that's fine but I won't any longer be doing group booking it will be up to them to make their own arrangements.
As for your situation, it seems clear to me that "your friend" would rather be elsewhere.
I would see if you can get the crossing 'YOU WANT' and enjoy yourself. It's your holiday trip, don't cater for others.
My response would 100% be "just make your own arrangements " - its totally f****ing rude, the end.
I had a chance to live it up at Moto 24.
I checked my mate could be included or I wasn't doing it, luckily they had a spare pass otherwise I'd have declined and carried on slumming it with him
You dont make plans and then abandon your mates, ever.
That guy is not a mate, he's a user and a total f
king loser. You just don't need tossers like that in your life
Give him his money back and say you're going earlier
I had a chance to live it up at Moto 24.
I checked my mate could be included or I wasn't doing it, luckily they had a spare pass otherwise I'd have declined and carried on slumming it with him
You dont make plans and then abandon your mates, ever.
That guy is not a mate, he's a user and a total f
king loser. You just don't need tossers like that in your lifeGive him his money back and say you're going earlier
Edited by wsn03 on Friday 7th June 08:43
awww whats up hun..
Sorry, couldn't resist.
We have some sort of shenanigans ever year, mainly it's people who can't commit properly, have other plans before/after/during etc.
So we arrange the basics and then anyone who can't fit in just joins in where they can, this year it's me leaving a day later than everyone else as my son has his final GCSE.
I can sort of understand your friend wanting to catch the plane back, that's a great thing to do and he might feel bad at pissing you all about, so make him buy lots of beers. If he can now start earlier on thursday why don't you all just travel down a bit earlier?
Sorry, couldn't resist.
We have some sort of shenanigans ever year, mainly it's people who can't commit properly, have other plans before/after/during etc.
So we arrange the basics and then anyone who can't fit in just joins in where they can, this year it's me leaving a day later than everyone else as my son has his final GCSE.
I can sort of understand your friend wanting to catch the plane back, that's a great thing to do and he might feel bad at pissing you all about, so make him buy lots of beers. If he can now start earlier on thursday why don't you all just travel down a bit earlier?
I think I'd cut him some slack in this case.
If it was "I know you changed your plans so I didn't have to take a day off but I've just randomly decided to take it off anyway." then I'd have a little mumble under my breath too. It's not though, I read it as "Someone's offered me a seat back on their private jet!" and I think most of us would be tempted by that offer as it's a one in a lifetime chance for most people.
If it was "I know you changed your plans so I didn't have to take a day off but I've just randomly decided to take it off anyway." then I'd have a little mumble under my breath too. It's not though, I read it as "Someone's offered me a seat back on their private jet!" and I think most of us would be tempted by that offer as it's a one in a lifetime chance for most people.
Cut him loose.
I used to herd cats trying to get tickets, camping and stuff organised. then I had a word with myself.
I have one good mate who like me, is a nailed on certainty every year. We now organise it around ourselves and anyone else that (crucially) we both agree on, can come along on the understanding that any money we need (ferries, deposits, etc) is paid immediately or they're out.
Then if they don't pay up, they're not coming, if they want us to change the departure times/dates/ports that isn't happening.
Sounds harsh, but we've been messed about too much.
I used to herd cats trying to get tickets, camping and stuff organised. then I had a word with myself.
I have one good mate who like me, is a nailed on certainty every year. We now organise it around ourselves and anyone else that (crucially) we both agree on, can come along on the understanding that any money we need (ferries, deposits, etc) is paid immediately or they're out.
Then if they don't pay up, they're not coming, if they want us to change the departure times/dates/ports that isn't happening.
Sounds harsh, but we've been messed about too much.
Our group has had this in the past, does my nut in.
It came to a head last year at the Motors Cup down in Dijon with guys not wanting to pay their way/dropping out etc. So this year only 3 camping tickets bought for LM instead of the usual 8 and anyone else who wants to attend will have to sort themselves out.
It came to a head last year at the Motors Cup down in Dijon with guys not wanting to pay their way/dropping out etc. So this year only 3 camping tickets bought for LM instead of the usual 8 and anyone else who wants to attend will have to sort themselves out.
Most of us go together but sometimes if that doesnt suit then some of them may make their own way either by car or train etc.
But the issue is the timing of your friends decision. Rather poor. Especially after being inflexible with not being able to travel down when you wanted until it suited him...
But probably best to get over it asap for the sake of the trip
But the issue is the timing of your friends decision. Rather poor. Especially after being inflexible with not being able to travel down when you wanted until it suited him...
But probably best to get over it asap for the sake of the trip
I would be annoyed also. You’ve made plans to help him out to the detriment of the usual trip, but now he has a ‘better’ offer he’s happy to ditch the group but still use it where necessary. It is very selfish but less than week before is just rude.
This friends part owner mate can’t sort out a bit of hospitality or put visit for the rest of you? Get something out of it yourself?
The Thursday bit would piss me off. Now it suits him, he has taken Thursday off. Why can’t he get to you Wednesday evening and you go early Thursday as you’d like?
I think it’s pretty bad also that he will be desperate to get off on the Thursday and not be seen again until Saturday. Will really rub it in if he then bangs on about where he’s been and the jet home. Total user.
I hope you have individual tents. Don’t be putting his up in his absence or picking up or dropping off to his other things.
You know for next year. If others don’t fit the plan, they sort themselves out.
This friends part owner mate can’t sort out a bit of hospitality or put visit for the rest of you? Get something out of it yourself?
The Thursday bit would piss me off. Now it suits him, he has taken Thursday off. Why can’t he get to you Wednesday evening and you go early Thursday as you’d like?
I think it’s pretty bad also that he will be desperate to get off on the Thursday and not be seen again until Saturday. Will really rub it in if he then bangs on about where he’s been and the jet home. Total user.
I hope you have individual tents. Don’t be putting his up in his absence or picking up or dropping off to his other things.
You know for next year. If others don’t fit the plan, they sort themselves out.
I've found that over time, it becomes increasingly difficult to organise any sort of group activity with any sense of efficiency.
I used to organise go-karting for a bunch of mates quite regularly but stopped when I got clobbered with £600 because half of them pulled out at the last minute.
Le Mans has been a Dad/Son thing for us since the start. Many have said "ooh, that sound great - I may come with you next year". My approach has always been the same.."That would be great! We'd have a laugh. Here's the company we booked through. These are the dates we're going. We're on this campsite at this pitch. Let the company know this and they'll put us on adjoining pitches".
To date, nobody has gone.
I used to organise go-karting for a bunch of mates quite regularly but stopped when I got clobbered with £600 because half of them pulled out at the last minute.
Le Mans has been a Dad/Son thing for us since the start. Many have said "ooh, that sound great - I may come with you next year". My approach has always been the same.."That would be great! We'd have a laugh. Here's the company we booked through. These are the dates we're going. We're on this campsite at this pitch. Let the company know this and they'll put us on adjoining pitches".
To date, nobody has gone.
I'd be miffed as well, but this time next week you and your other pal will be enjoying yourselves without him. Make the most of it, without the shackles of having to keep everyone happy you can concentrate on making the most of "your" Le Mans weekend. Presumably it's too late for you to travel earlier on the Thursday after all...?
StevieBee said:
Le Mans has been a Dad/Son thing for us since the start. Many have said "ooh, that sound great - I may come with you next year". My approach has always been the same.."That would be great! We'd have a laugh. Here's the company we booked through. These are the dates we're going. We're on this campsite at this pitch. Let the company know this and they'll put us on adjoining pitches".
To date, nobody has gone.
That's what I've always done ever since getting stung with a 60 quid deposit on a functionTo date, nobody has gone.
This year I've ended up with 9 extra people! All made their own bookings as per my schedule - one of them is just a guy at my clients site who overheard me 4 weeks ago and asked if he could come along with his son! Remarkable.
Im meeting a mate in his local town one night for dinner - no question though im bringing everyone with me. You just dont f
k off on your group when you get a better offer, its bad form.At Assen motogp one year I had the offer of a lifetime, but I wasn't going to leave my mates or the Dutch campers we befriended the year before who kept us company on both trips.
The "friend" of his is definitely no friend of anyone but himself
Not Le Mans, but I got burned once booking for a Group.
We planned a week away in the Lake District, got people to put their name on a list if they were going then booked a cottage accordingly. I had to pay a deposit it wasn't much so I just paid it, the come time to pay the balance one person dropped out. When I chased him for the money he told me that I should have checked if he was going first...just what he thought putting his name down on the list meant I'm not sure. I was left about £100 out of pocket thanks to that twit, it may not be much now, but back when I just started working it was a significant chunk. Needless to say, I cut ties with the idiot.
We planned a week away in the Lake District, got people to put their name on a list if they were going then booked a cottage accordingly. I had to pay a deposit it wasn't much so I just paid it, the come time to pay the balance one person dropped out. When I chased him for the money he told me that I should have checked if he was going first...just what he thought putting his name down on the list meant I'm not sure. I was left about £100 out of pocket thanks to that twit, it may not be much now, but back when I just started working it was a significant chunk. Needless to say, I cut ties with the idiot.
Frankly , your "pal"is taking the piss and you should tell him so. Personally I'd re-book everything for early thursday and let him find his own way.
Maybe his rich new friend could help.
I have organised our group throughout the last 8 years and this will be the 9th. In that time I reckon we've had 30 different individuals in total , averaging 14 per trip (The core 8-9 always go, the rest are alternate years or one offs)
On the whole I've only had 2-3 times when I feel I've been pissed around. In the main once they've ante-ied up for the deposit they are committed. This year I have to admit to more pull outs in the last month than any previous year - but we don't change when we go or when we come back for any individual. They have to make their own arrangements if they want to do that.
Helps that we hire the entire accommodation and that it can sleep 1 or 2 more if needed so we can add latecomers and don't get hurt by no-shows
Worst case was a friend of a friend 2 years ago who we met for the first time at 6:30am at the tunnel and who had lost his phone, held us up for 45mins looking for it, and already rubbed most up the wrong way by lunchtime that day.
He told us he didn't really drink when we got there ( ! ) , packed himself off to bed at 10 and was banging around in the kitchen at 7am the following morning. Some had been in bed for less than a couple of hours.
He then bought himself a £1500 Hospitality package with a team and disappeared on Saturday morning and we didn't see him again until the end of the race.
It was incredibly rude, boorish behaviour and I make no excuses for that but it didn't stop us having a great time - we have front row grandstand tickets, ACO Hospitality passes and know exactly what we're doing.
He'd paid me for those so if he didn't use them it's no skin off my nose.
Maybe his rich new friend could help.
I have organised our group throughout the last 8 years and this will be the 9th. In that time I reckon we've had 30 different individuals in total , averaging 14 per trip (The core 8-9 always go, the rest are alternate years or one offs)
On the whole I've only had 2-3 times when I feel I've been pissed around. In the main once they've ante-ied up for the deposit they are committed. This year I have to admit to more pull outs in the last month than any previous year - but we don't change when we go or when we come back for any individual. They have to make their own arrangements if they want to do that.
Helps that we hire the entire accommodation and that it can sleep 1 or 2 more if needed so we can add latecomers and don't get hurt by no-shows
Worst case was a friend of a friend 2 years ago who we met for the first time at 6:30am at the tunnel and who had lost his phone, held us up for 45mins looking for it, and already rubbed most up the wrong way by lunchtime that day.
He told us he didn't really drink when we got there ( ! ) , packed himself off to bed at 10 and was banging around in the kitchen at 7am the following morning. Some had been in bed for less than a couple of hours.
He then bought himself a £1500 Hospitality package with a team and disappeared on Saturday morning and we didn't see him again until the end of the race.
It was incredibly rude, boorish behaviour and I make no excuses for that but it didn't stop us having a great time - we have front row grandstand tickets, ACO Hospitality passes and know exactly what we're doing.
He'd paid me for those so if he didn't use them it's no skin off my nose.
davidd said:
awww whats up hun..
If he can now start earlier on thursday why don't you all just travel down a bit earlier?
Yes, suggested this to all. 2 we're happy with it, 1 wasn't - you can guess who. Very defensive and almost wanted a bit of a argument with me suggesting that I was just doing it in retaliation to his changes. Very odd! If he can now start earlier on thursday why don't you all just travel down a bit earlier?
Kept repeating myself that "If you can't do it it is what it is". After he finally realized that I wasn't trying to change anything just to cause an issue (his suggestion) he told me he'd approach the idea with the Wife.
She said no so got this "Just spoke to the wife and the answer unfortunately is no. Sorry mate".
My reply; "As said, it wasn't an issue, if it was possible then great. You seemed to want have a spat over something - what I am unsure of."
30 minutes later he told me that after a further conversation with the Wife he can do it.
Ferry we wanted is now fully booked so can't do this one but we can do the same time but to Cherboug. This is c1hour more driving which normally wouldn't be an issue but as someone has already noticed we're doing in a FakeTaxi. With the 55mph top speed and this ferry getting in at 1500 we wouldn't get to camp until c1800+. This and having been up from 0430 to get to P'Mouth, being on a ferry with just a seat etc it would have made for a very long day and late set up.
With this we've kept the over night, with a bed / bar on board just a shame that we will be arriving later than we'd like.
Very strange behaviour from a friend which is disappointing.
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