Non Molestation Order- After break up
Discussion
Ok so after 13/14 years and 4 kids my ex and I split in Jan-Feb this year.
Its was primarily her decision although I didn't realise just how bad of a controlling nutcase she was at the time, I had held things together for a long time for the kids.
I kept the split as smooth as possible for the children but she was moving to her mums rental house and claims benefits fraudulently by not saying its her mums house!
The hole 4/5 month has been a nightmare as my ex lies through her teeth and claims to not know anything about her debts and even claims she was never on the tenancies for any of the rental houses. I have decided she is a pathological liar!
She has threatened me with legal action many times but until I put a parental agreement together she did nothing.
In feb -mar time she was accessing my apple account and deleting my photos and info etc which she denied in front of her mum and mine but admitted to just to me. She also started harassing me at work in those months ringing and texting me. She hacked my emails as well and an online dating profile I had was hacked.
She has a very warped sense of what is going on. If i turn up to the girls ballet or swimming lesson she claims I am stalking her. Basically I can't be anywhere my kids are even my daughter birthday party at a trampoline park, where and her mum went nuts asked me to leave after I said I would attend and then if I stayed I should pay half.
She claimed in feb someone was hacking her emails and facebook and msg my mum and sister to tell them she thought it was me. The email she showed me turned out to be a phishing scam for facebook. The email issues seems she had forgotten her password thats all the emails from gmail show.
That all stopped in March.
July 19
In june as she went on our 3k family holiday I paid half with with her mum I did a parental agreement to give her permission to take the children away amongst other things. Her and her mum got all upset and said they didn't like it but wouldn't say why. They then said her solicitor (4th time she said this) would contact me.
However in the solicitors letter that came on sat she has put so many lies its unreal. All the things I accused her of she has claimed i have done to her and claims I am harassing her, with a threat to get a non molestation order if I do not stop immediately. No police involvement has even happened so I am not sure how she would get one to be honest.
She also wants, my income information, which I have told her and provided her with CMS cal to show I pay more than they say. £500 from the sale of an old car which she had at the time. Also she wants a council tax debt to be taken on by me basically, this surfaced when she moved into this house.
She took her debts 2 years ago into a debt management plan but claims they are joint but only in her name. She says she didn't know anything about these until we split! Its all so fanciful its unreal! Someone doesn't know they owe 10k in credit card and overdraft debt going back 4 years and she is 31!
Its was primarily her decision although I didn't realise just how bad of a controlling nutcase she was at the time, I had held things together for a long time for the kids.
I kept the split as smooth as possible for the children but she was moving to her mums rental house and claims benefits fraudulently by not saying its her mums house!
The hole 4/5 month has been a nightmare as my ex lies through her teeth and claims to not know anything about her debts and even claims she was never on the tenancies for any of the rental houses. I have decided she is a pathological liar!
She has threatened me with legal action many times but until I put a parental agreement together she did nothing.
In feb -mar time she was accessing my apple account and deleting my photos and info etc which she denied in front of her mum and mine but admitted to just to me. She also started harassing me at work in those months ringing and texting me. She hacked my emails as well and an online dating profile I had was hacked.
She has a very warped sense of what is going on. If i turn up to the girls ballet or swimming lesson she claims I am stalking her. Basically I can't be anywhere my kids are even my daughter birthday party at a trampoline park, where and her mum went nuts asked me to leave after I said I would attend and then if I stayed I should pay half.
She claimed in feb someone was hacking her emails and facebook and msg my mum and sister to tell them she thought it was me. The email she showed me turned out to be a phishing scam for facebook. The email issues seems she had forgotten her password thats all the emails from gmail show.
That all stopped in March.
July 19
In june as she went on our 3k family holiday I paid half with with her mum I did a parental agreement to give her permission to take the children away amongst other things. Her and her mum got all upset and said they didn't like it but wouldn't say why. They then said her solicitor (4th time she said this) would contact me.
However in the solicitors letter that came on sat she has put so many lies its unreal. All the things I accused her of she has claimed i have done to her and claims I am harassing her, with a threat to get a non molestation order if I do not stop immediately. No police involvement has even happened so I am not sure how she would get one to be honest.
She also wants, my income information, which I have told her and provided her with CMS cal to show I pay more than they say. £500 from the sale of an old car which she had at the time. Also she wants a council tax debt to be taken on by me basically, this surfaced when she moved into this house.
She took her debts 2 years ago into a debt management plan but claims they are joint but only in her name. She says she didn't know anything about these until we split! Its all so fanciful its unreal! Someone doesn't know they owe 10k in credit card and overdraft debt going back 4 years and she is 31!
surveyor_101 said:
MKnight702 said:
Sound to me like a non molestation order is a great idea. You should get right on it immediately.
No her solicitors is saying I am the problem and she is threatening me with the NMO!Go for the order as suggested.
Then Grass her b
h ass up to the council for benefit fraud. She will be made to pay every penny back and may face criminal charges. Then watch as she looses the plot and emotions means she forgets the non-mol order and tries to get at you making loads of breaches of the order in the process. Will paint her out to be the psycho she is.
Then Id go for full custody.
Then Grass her b
h ass up to the council for benefit fraud. She will be made to pay every penny back and may face criminal charges. Then watch as she looses the plot and emotions means she forgets the non-mol order and tries to get at you making loads of breaches of the order in the process. Will paint her out to be the psycho she is.Then Id go for full custody.
Psycho Warren said:
Go for the order as suggested.
Then Grass her bh ass up to the council for benefit fraud. She will be made to pay every penny back and may face criminal charges. Then watch as she looses the plot and emotions means she forgets the non-mol order and tries to get at you making loads of breaches of the order in the process. Will paint her out to be the psycho she is.
Then Id go for full custody.
This every dayThen Grass her b
h ass up to the council for benefit fraud. She will be made to pay every penny back and may face criminal charges. Then watch as she looses the plot and emotions means she forgets the non-mol order and tries to get at you making loads of breaches of the order in the process. Will paint her out to be the psycho she is.Then Id go for full custody.
Do not ever allow yourself to be alone with her and stop all contact with her and family members except through a solicitor.
Ensure you keep bank records for any money sent and do not send/give cash.
Go and speak with a family solicitor about contact and although it doesn’t sound good, try to arrange for collection and drop off of children at a contact centre so that you can’t be accused of anything at her or her parents house.
Block and delete her and family from social media and their phone numbers.
Keep proof of everything.
Sounds extreme but as mentioned the next step is sexual/domestic abuse or controlling and coercive claims. You need to keep yourself safe and move on quickly. Forget about getting any sort of revenge or getting involved in slanging matches and arguments over the kids and money. Let the solicitor sort it all out and live your life. Otherwise you’ll be up to your neck in it for years.
Ensure you keep bank records for any money sent and do not send/give cash.
Go and speak with a family solicitor about contact and although it doesn’t sound good, try to arrange for collection and drop off of children at a contact centre so that you can’t be accused of anything at her or her parents house.
Block and delete her and family from social media and their phone numbers.
Keep proof of everything.
Sounds extreme but as mentioned the next step is sexual/domestic abuse or controlling and coercive claims. You need to keep yourself safe and move on quickly. Forget about getting any sort of revenge or getting involved in slanging matches and arguments over the kids and money. Let the solicitor sort it all out and live your life. Otherwise you’ll be up to your neck in it for years.
I am living my life.
Her mum drops the kids at mine some days I have to take them back.
Kids on my side.
Crazy I am going to see a solicitor,
Can see how with no proof she can get a solicitor, is that right?
I have met someone else but she has got wind as my daughter left her mobile my car one night I was staying at her my new ladies house and tracked the phone.
Her mum drops the kids at mine some days I have to take them back.
Kids on my side.
Crazy I am going to see a solicitor,
Can see how with no proof she can get a solicitor, is that right?
I have met someone else but she has got wind as my daughter left her mobile my car one night I was staying at her my new ladies house and tracked the phone.
MYOB said:
Non-molestation orders are granted by Family Courts and do not require "evidence". Written statements and oral Hearings when you can both dish the dirt, and the Judges will simply pick who they believe.
It's all down to "probability". In my experience, they simply dish out NMOs in favour of the women, partly to cover their backs should things escalate at a later date.
A NMO should not have any great impact on you as long as you abide by it. They are normally issued for 12 months. Don't sweat it.
Honestly terrible advice. NMO's can fid their way onto intelligence that is included on a DBS check. Contesting the NMO will show on an enhanced CRB. While an NMO is absolutely the right thing for an abused (and not simply physically abused ) partner to seek, their use as part of a structured campaign of harrassment is not the right thing, for the OP, or the justice system.It's all down to "probability". In my experience, they simply dish out NMOs in favour of the women, partly to cover their backs should things escalate at a later date.
A NMO should not have any great impact on you as long as you abide by it. They are normally issued for 12 months. Don't sweat it.
randlemarcus said:
Honestly terrible advice. NMO's can fid their way onto intelligence that is included on a DBS check. Contesting the NMO will show on an enhanced CRB. While an NMO is absolutely the right thing for an abused (and not simply physically abused ) partner to seek, their use as part of a structured campaign of harrassment is not the right thing, for the OP, or the justice system.
It had gone a bit quiet since march until the end of june/july.Nothing yet letter cam sat. she has bluffed loads so I did the parental agreement a few weeks ago and she refused to sign it or explain what she didn't like.
Last week she started kicking off again.
1) I had contacted my daughters secondary school as she had a parents evening the 3rd july as she has had two taster days prior to starting in sept. I have been in contact with both schools and they email me the same stuff that goes home so I am in the loop. My ex had planned to got to parents evening at 6pm 3rd JULY. I had an email teh 2nd saying my daughter had a class and its was 16.30 the meeting. I immediately sent her the letter on imessage, she asked me how I had got that, I replied lady at school emails me stuff relating to our daughter and she went off. She wants me to back off and let her do all the school stuff.
2)She also went through my daughters phone (on my acc as i pay for all them) she found a photo of our children she put on facebook and accused me off stalking her facebook even tho we are both blocked but her dad sent me the pic of my girls. Said she was going to the police. She also found a photo of a child who is not ours and didn't like it.
She met me all school and was super nice for 1 hour and then demanded money for a school trip and uniform. I said above the money I pay her and she has just had her hair done and the holiday I had part paid for prior to split.
Then finally I dropped my daughter back later and went to my new gf's place 50 miles away and my daughter had left her phone in my car so my ex has twigged I have a new lady in my life. Her mother kicked off on friday to my my mum that I have not kept to the parental agreement and informed her!
Foliage said:
Sounds like youre a bit of a soft touch...
and by 'hacked' you mean you gave her your passwords..
You sound like a bit of a moron who doesn't know how to look out for himself.
Knock it off and wake the fk up.
The split was all nice and amicable we shared a bed etc for about a month prior to her moving out!and by 'hacked' you mean you gave her your passwords..
You sound like a bit of a moron who doesn't know how to look out for himself.
Knock it off and wake the f
k up.I never though two weeks after she would go completely nuts. She did tell me her mum was paying her debts off and getting her a car that never happened! I think these were drivers in the split and now she is stuffed.
When I say hacked she had a computer that still signed into my email account so she changed my details.
My daughters phone is on my apple acc so she deleted the photos on there.
Change all your accounts and passwords.
Get off Facebook. Stop giving her extra money, give her the bare minimum the CSA demands (by all means put the extra aside and spend it when you have the kids, just don't give it to the ex directly)
Grass her up for Benefit fraud. Remove yourself from any debt liability.Don't lose the rag at any point, be completely civil in any communication even when she is baiting you.
Most importantly go speak to a Solicitor and put all this on record.
She knows her gravy train is probably about to be derailed now you are seeing someone else.
She will be moaning to her friends about what a tt you are, they will tell her to clean you out.
Sounds like she has decided being civil is out the window, so act now or you will only have yourself to blame.
Get off Facebook. Stop giving her extra money, give her the bare minimum the CSA demands (by all means put the extra aside and spend it when you have the kids, just don't give it to the ex directly)
Grass her up for Benefit fraud. Remove yourself from any debt liability.Don't lose the rag at any point, be completely civil in any communication even when she is baiting you.
Most importantly go speak to a Solicitor and put all this on record.
She knows her gravy train is probably about to be derailed now you are seeing someone else.
She will be moaning to her friends about what a t
t you are, they will tell her to clean you out.Sounds like she has decided being civil is out the window, so act now or you will only have yourself to blame.
Edited by R1gtr on Monday 8th July 16:38
OP, i speak from personal experience, my ex & i had a similar falling out after we split up.
After we split up, she would bombard me with messages, phonecall's, text, emails etc.
She would play silly buggers with me picking the little'un up.
I won't go into details, as it was a number of years ago, but i sympathise, trust me.
After one of the many times of the cancelled collection times 5 minutes before pick up, or running and grabbing the little'un out of the car, i sent her a rather long essay explaining that it wasn't on & that i was tired of it all & i'd be contacting the family courts for a proper order.
She took this message (which wasn't aggressive), to the police & asked them for a non-molestation order, they contacted me, i initially thought it was a joke.
I showed them my 'evidence', but they didn't really care & said 'we sympathise, but, she's contacted us first, so you'll never get one, you should of contacted us first & we'd have issued one'.
In the end they didn't give her one, but in the eyes of the police it was done on a first come first served basis.
After we split up, she would bombard me with messages, phonecall's, text, emails etc.
She would play silly buggers with me picking the little'un up.
I won't go into details, as it was a number of years ago, but i sympathise, trust me.
After one of the many times of the cancelled collection times 5 minutes before pick up, or running and grabbing the little'un out of the car, i sent her a rather long essay explaining that it wasn't on & that i was tired of it all & i'd be contacting the family courts for a proper order.
She took this message (which wasn't aggressive), to the police & asked them for a non-molestation order, they contacted me, i initially thought it was a joke.
I showed them my 'evidence', but they didn't really care & said 'we sympathise, but, she's contacted us first, so you'll never get one, you should of contacted us first & we'd have issued one'.
In the end they didn't give her one, but in the eyes of the police it was done on a first come first served basis.
theguvernor15 said:
OP, i speak from personal experience, my ex & i had a similar falling out after we split up.
After we split up, she would bombard me with messages, phonecall's, text, emails etc.
She would play silly buggers with me picking the little'un up.
I won't go into details, as it was a number of years ago, but i sympathise, trust me.
After one of the many times of the cancelled collection times 5 minutes before pick up, or running and grabbing the little'un out of the car, i sent her a rather long essay explaining that it wasn't on & that i was tired of it all & i'd be contacting the family courts for a proper order.
She took this message (which wasn't aggressive), to the police & asked them for a non-molestation order, they contacted me, i initially thought it was a joke.
I showed them my 'evidence', but they didn't really care & said 'we sympathise, but, she's contacted us first, so you'll never get one, you should of contacted us first & we'd have issued one'.
In the end they didn't give her one, but in the eyes of the police it was done on a first come first served basis.
Didnt realise the police issue NMOs?After we split up, she would bombard me with messages, phonecall's, text, emails etc.
She would play silly buggers with me picking the little'un up.
I won't go into details, as it was a number of years ago, but i sympathise, trust me.
After one of the many times of the cancelled collection times 5 minutes before pick up, or running and grabbing the little'un out of the car, i sent her a rather long essay explaining that it wasn't on & that i was tired of it all & i'd be contacting the family courts for a proper order.
She took this message (which wasn't aggressive), to the police & asked them for a non-molestation order, they contacted me, i initially thought it was a joke.
I showed them my 'evidence', but they didn't really care & said 'we sympathise, but, she's contacted us first, so you'll never get one, you should of contacted us first & we'd have issued one'.
In the end they didn't give her one, but in the eyes of the police it was done on a first come first served basis.
MYOB said:
Non-molestation orders are granted by Family Courts and do not require "evidence". Written statements and oral Hearings when you can both dish the dirt, and the Judges will simply pick who they believe.
It's all down to "probability". In my experience, they simply dish out NMOs in favour of the women, partly to cover their backs should things escalate at a later date.
A NMO should not have any great impact on you as long as you abide by it. They are normally issued for 12 months. Don't sweat it.
If OP is really unlucky he won't even know about the NMO until he's getting served on his doorstep. This will be followed up by a bill from his ex's solicitor for her costs.It's all down to "probability". In my experience, they simply dish out NMOs in favour of the women, partly to cover their backs should things escalate at a later date.
A NMO should not have any great impact on you as long as you abide by it. They are normally issued for 12 months. Don't sweat it.
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