Ex-Wife wants money for holiday
Discussion
Just wondered what the PH mind would think of this.
My ex, who does not understand budgeting and despite running a successful company and getting money from her boyfriend and myself, is always in debt, and is just about to end a 7 day stint at Center Parcs. Just her and my 2 boys plus 2 of their friends.
They started the week in a normal villa with a sauna? then for the weekend upgraded themselves to one of the houses with a games room, hot tub etc.
More than likely ate out all the time and my daughter did go and join them for the weekend.
Text late last night saying she's spent £5k and can I help out with the money.
The boys have had a great time and have done lots of activities and it's a joy to know that they have spent at least one week not stuck on Fort-Nite in their rooms back home.
I have not replied to the text. My first reaction was angry that she blows so much money then expects to be bailed out. It's often her old mum that does this for her.
I also have not much money as back up and am about to start making sandwiches for my lunch as well as sticking to using my scooter to get to my new full time job, just to save money. No more lunch expenses that can be claimed back
This morning though, I'm thinking that thanks to new job, I have not been able to take the boys on holiday and that maybe I should give her something like what I would have spent on a week away.
My holidays tend to be cheap seaside cottages, camping or staycations, certainly not £5k in a week.
I ask you lot as I don't want to burden other family members with the dilemma and I just need to offload, PH is good for that. NB, the boyfriend did not go on the holiday!
Cheers.
My ex, who does not understand budgeting and despite running a successful company and getting money from her boyfriend and myself, is always in debt, and is just about to end a 7 day stint at Center Parcs. Just her and my 2 boys plus 2 of their friends.
They started the week in a normal villa with a sauna? then for the weekend upgraded themselves to one of the houses with a games room, hot tub etc.
More than likely ate out all the time and my daughter did go and join them for the weekend.
Text late last night saying she's spent £5k and can I help out with the money.
The boys have had a great time and have done lots of activities and it's a joy to know that they have spent at least one week not stuck on Fort-Nite in their rooms back home.
I have not replied to the text. My first reaction was angry that she blows so much money then expects to be bailed out. It's often her old mum that does this for her.
I also have not much money as back up and am about to start making sandwiches for my lunch as well as sticking to using my scooter to get to my new full time job, just to save money. No more lunch expenses that can be claimed back
This morning though, I'm thinking that thanks to new job, I have not been able to take the boys on holiday and that maybe I should give her something like what I would have spent on a week away.
My holidays tend to be cheap seaside cottages, camping or staycations, certainly not £5k in a week.
I ask you lot as I don't want to burden other family members with the dilemma and I just need to offload, PH is good for that. NB, the boyfriend did not go on the holiday!
Cheers.
A week in centre PARC's during school holiday for five people probably isn't much off 3k alone...
If you didn't contribute anything to the holiday then I'd make a contribution, for the kids if nothing else.
Granted she could have discussed it in advance etc but I bet the kids have had a cracking week.
Forget that it's paying her, concentrate on it as a contribution to your children's holiday.
If you didn't contribute anything to the holiday then I'd make a contribution, for the kids if nothing else.
Granted she could have discussed it in advance etc but I bet the kids have had a cracking week.
Forget that it's paying her, concentrate on it as a contribution to your children's holiday.
I'd be f
king livid!Not long enough mate.
As I said, I'd only pay what I would have spent if I had taken the boys on holiday, say a grand or so.
Just looked at CP site, £2700 just for a 3 bed lodge for one week, but they did the midweek in one then moved to the big place with the games room etc. Then would definitely have eaten out.
A holiday beyond my means.
As I said, I'd only pay what I would have spent if I had taken the boys on holiday, say a grand or so.
Just looked at CP site, £2700 just for a 3 bed lodge for one week, but they did the midweek in one then moved to the big place with the games room etc. Then would definitely have eaten out.
A holiday beyond my means.
Agree with other posters to contribute a bit, especially if you haven't been able to take the kids away this year... BUT... you need to make it clear it won't be a regular occurrence. If she wants to take them away again she needs to find something within her own means. The last thing you need is to be subsidising her holidays and then not being able to go away with them yourself.
Dan_1981 said:
A week in centre PARC's during school holiday for five people probably isn't much off 3k alone...
That's considerably more than I thought it would be. i realise once you are there every activity is £10-30 on top so if you're paying for 5 people for 5 days £2k is far too easy if you bounce from one activity to another.
OP: it's a tough call, on the one hand it's a "for the kids" type scenario but on the other it's bailing out an Ex who presumably will be demanding more money in the not so distant future. I'd perhaps try saying you can only help out a little right now. Then wait for an opportunity when you can organise a holiday for yourself an the kids to treat them.
Tell her she had all the money in the divorce!
I’d say that if she’d told you up front how much she was going to spend and an idea of how much she wanted you to contribute then that would be fair enough. Coming back realising she is skint and asking you for what seems to be a minimum of 1k isn’t on as she’ll just continue to do that.
I’d say that if she’d told you up front how much she was going to spend and an idea of how much she wanted you to contribute then that would be fair enough. Coming back realising she is skint and asking you for what seems to be a minimum of 1k isn’t on as she’ll just continue to do that.
xx99xx said:
Don't give her anything and use the money you would've given her on a short break with the kids. She won't change, you'll be forever bailing her out if you keep doing it.
This is good advice. I've had 17 years of bailing out the mother of my son and good God I will be happy when he turns 18 next month. It's been shockingly consistent and almost like clockwork. I was an easy touch and I can assure you I will never, ever make the same mistake again...Joscal said:
xx99xx said:
Don't give her anything and use the money you would've given her on a short break with the kids. She won't change, you'll be forever bailing her out if you keep doing it.
This is good advice. I've had 17 years of bailing out the mother of my son and good God I will be happy when he turns 18 next month. It's been shockingly consistent and almost like clockwork. I was an easy touch and I can assure you I will never, ever make the same mistake again...croyde said:
Not long enough mate.
As I said, I'd only pay what I would have spent if I had taken the boys on holiday, say a grand or so.
Just looked at CP site, £2700 just for a 3 bed lodge for one week, but they did the midweek in one then moved to the big place with the games room etc. Then would definitely have eaten out.
A holiday beyond my means.
As I said, I'd only pay what I would have spent if I had taken the boys on holiday, say a grand or so.
Just looked at CP site, £2700 just for a 3 bed lodge for one week, but they did the midweek in one then moved to the big place with the games room etc. Then would definitely have eaten out.
A holiday beyond my means.
It's mental. £5k on a holiday isn't that outrageous, but a week in CP!?!Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff