Families, can't pick 'em, can't kill them

[anonymous-user]

From my previous posts, some of you may remember my mum was dying of cancer and my sister's were driving me up the wall.

Well, my mum died last week, and mercifully only in pain for the last week or so.

Now I just have to deal with my effing siblings, who can make an argument out of anything.

Whether it's what day to have the cremation, whether to have a family limo or not, where to have the wake, and I can understand that, but now they're bloody arguing about what photo of my mum to use, and what music to have FFS.

So far it's changed about 6 times and it seems if one wants something the other doesn't.

I'm seriously thinking about not turning up.


Arrrrggghhhh, fking fk fkers.

[paulwoof]

in terms of family disputes following a death, arguing over how to make the day celebrating your mother is surely pretty low down on the list of things to be upset about.

The threads arguing over inheritance, family members stabbing each other in the back over the deceased belongings etc is much more horrible. id say youve not got too bad a situation to deal with.

[g3org3y]

Sorry for your loss

[anonymous-user]

paulwoof said:

in terms of family disputes following a death, arguing over how to make the day celebrating your mother is surely pretty low down on the list of things to be upset about.

The threads arguing over inheritance, family members stabbing each other in the back over the deceased belongings etc is much more horrible. id say youve not got too bad a situation to deal with.

I'm sure that will come, as they're both greedy, I'm seriously thinking of just giving up my share

[Monkeylegend]

Who says you can't kill them.

[ARHarh]

My other half work for a funeral director and she has to deal with this stuff everyday. Why cant people just agree in theses circumstances and make the day a memorable one rather than a stressful one.

[sc0tt]

Sorry for your loss.

[Baldchap]

keirik said:

paulwoof said:

in terms of family disputes following a death, arguing over how to make the day celebrating your mother is surely pretty low down on the list of things to be upset about.

The threads arguing over inheritance, family members stabbing each other in the back over the deceased belongings etc is much more horrible. id say youve not got too bad a situation to deal with.

I'm sure that will come, as they're both greedy, I'm seriously thinking of just giving up my share

Then you demonstrate that being a greedy stbag is a winning formula.

Be calm, rational and sensible. When you get an argument or opposing view, take the 'consultant' approach and do the whole 'So I understand you, you want to do X, correct?', whereby you repeat back their ridiculous suggestions. In this instance, they hear back what they have said and how stupid it sounds.

Another good approach is 'I appreciate you want to do X, and I know you feel strongly about it, but I need you to help me understand the reasons why', again, then repeat them back if appropriate.

Often people will argue because they feel they're not being considered, even if they haven't really got anything worthwhile to say.

[crofty1984]

When my nan died, I made sure she got the song she wanted played at her funeral* and asked for a particular fridge magnet with sentimental value. I wasn't bothered about the rest. If people wanted particular readings, etc. I wasn't going to get pissy.

Sorry to hear you're having difficulty OP. Just fight for the important things and let the rest wash over you as much as you can.

*amusingly, it turns out that Alice Cooper (yes, that Alice Cooper) also wants "How Great Thou Art" sung at his funeral.