A well earned break....
Discussion
Well then.. I'm off on holiday tonight..
Yes - In little over 16 hours I'll be bound for Spain, where I'll don the knotted hanky, roll up my trouser legs and speak to the locals in CAPITAL LETTERS so they can understand me.
We're going to Mijas (Fuengirola minus tourists), which can be crassly and comedically pronouced "me arse" for that authentic pig ignorant Brit feel
I'll make sure I always have a copy of The Sun with me and I trust Staines town centre will not disappoint today when I go in search of as many Union Jack garments as I can find.
Is there anything thing I've missed in my quest to retain the quintessential Englishness that is expected of me in Spain?
How many straw donkeys do you think I should attempt to board the plane home with?
So many questions of etiquette.. I just don't know..
Anyway, I'll be gone a week, but I don't fancy going cold PH turkey so it's fortuitous that there is an internet cafe thing in the apartment block.. so I'll no doubt duck in there and keep an eye on you all at some point..
I've anticipated all & any sarcastic replies I'm gonna get, so bring em on, Scruff, Podie et al..
>>> Edited by CarZee on Friday 27th September 10:36
Yes - In little over 16 hours I'll be bound for Spain, where I'll don the knotted hanky, roll up my trouser legs and speak to the locals in CAPITAL LETTERS so they can understand me.
We're going to Mijas (Fuengirola minus tourists), which can be crassly and comedically pronouced "me arse" for that authentic pig ignorant Brit feel
I'll make sure I always have a copy of The Sun with me and I trust Staines town centre will not disappoint today when I go in search of as many Union Jack garments as I can find.
Is there anything thing I've missed in my quest to retain the quintessential Englishness that is expected of me in Spain?
How many straw donkeys do you think I should attempt to board the plane home with?
So many questions of etiquette.. I just don't know..
Anyway, I'll be gone a week, but I don't fancy going cold PH turkey so it's fortuitous that there is an internet cafe thing in the apartment block.. so I'll no doubt duck in there and keep an eye on you all at some point..
I've anticipated all & any sarcastic replies I'm gonna get, so bring em on, Scruff, Podie et al..
>>> Edited by CarZee on Friday 27th September 10:36
quote:
I've anticipated all & any sarcastic replies I'm gonna get, so bring em on, Scruff, Podie et al..
Don't forget, to forget the sun cream. It is essential that to maintain the English tradition, you return the colour of a lobster.
Large consumptions of lager are also a must, as is the chant of "In-ger-lund" whenever you meet any foreigners. Especailly our German friends (no offence, it just appears to be customary).
Moan about everything, and that it's better in blighty...!
Will consider other options!
quote:I've a large scrap-book of the cartoons which illustrate Littlejohn's Sun columns, which I plan to revise from whilst drinking as much as is humanly feasible on the plane.
Large consumptions of lager are also a must, as is the chant of "In-ger-lund" whenever you meet any foreigners.
quote:
Walk around the local 'supermaket' pointing at things and saying "look dairylea, just like back home, look Chocolate Fingers, only there called El Chocolate Fingers, wonder if there the same as back home?"
Further to Raceboy's tip - look out for things that have humourous names... including names of towns... even if it's mis-spelt and loosely connect, make it sound rude, take a photo and sent it into a lads mag!
Just got back from Gran Canaria last week where a mates Dad is a teacher. He told us that the locals see the Brits as trouble making, always drunk yobs who ruin their nice island.
This was summed up by a girl with little class from Liverpool coming up to us and her opening line was:
"I f**cking luv English blokes me!" (Imagine that said with a thick Liverpudlian accent) We all ran off quickly in the other direction.
This was summed up by a girl with little class from Liverpool coming up to us and her opening line was:
"I f**cking luv English blokes me!" (Imagine that said with a thick Liverpudlian accent) We all ran off quickly in the other direction.
CZ,
Have a good break, we need and deserve it. Nice area for a holiday, are you staying in Mehas (up in the hills) or Mehas Costa (next to the dual carriageway).
We were there last year with another family and two hire cars - a fortnight with two Corsas instead of a TVR and TT Roadster. Hopefully they've forgotten about us now so you'll be ok.
If you get the Corsa hire car with the PistonHeads sticker its knackered and jumps out of gear.
Send a postcard
>> Edited by JSG (moderator) on Friday 27th September 10:57
Have a good break, we need and deserve it. Nice area for a holiday, are you staying in Mehas (up in the hills) or Mehas Costa (next to the dual carriageway).
We were there last year with another family and two hire cars - a fortnight with two Corsas instead of a TVR and TT Roadster. Hopefully they've forgotten about us now so you'll be ok.
If you get the Corsa hire car with the PistonHeads sticker its knackered and jumps out of gear
. Send a postcard
>> Edited by JSG (moderator) on Friday 27th September 10:57
ing heads etc. Have a good'un CarZee.
As previously mentioned you will naturally eat nothing but "English" food for the entire time and at any point that the Missus suggests visiting a local restaurant you will look at her in complete horror and announce at the top of your voice that you "are not eating that foreign rubbish".
You will also venture no further than the hotel pool despite the fact it is a beach front development.
You will pay at least one obligatory visit to the local infirmary for treatment for third degree burns.
You will hire a moped thinking you're Foggy and crash it resulting in hideous gravel rash.
You will insist on having to lie on your front for the entire holiday despite the wife's pleading as the topless jailbait that insists on parading itself infront of you is resulting in a nasty case of wigwam syndrome.
Best of all though you'll return home with the nastiest case of dioreah none to man although for a change it won't be the verbal variety........
As previously mentioned you will naturally eat nothing but "English" food for the entire time and at any point that the Missus suggests visiting a local restaurant you will look at her in complete horror and announce at the top of your voice that you "are not eating that foreign rubbish".
You will also venture no further than the hotel pool despite the fact it is a beach front development.
You will pay at least one obligatory visit to the local infirmary for treatment for third degree burns.
You will hire a moped thinking you're Foggy and crash it resulting in hideous gravel rash.
You will insist on having to lie on your front for the entire holiday despite the wife's pleading as the topless jailbait that insists on parading itself infront of you is resulting in a nasty case of wigwam syndrome.
Best of all though you'll return home with the nastiest case of dioreah none to man although for a change it won't be the verbal variety........
quote:
quote:
open toed sandles & black towelling ankle socks....
open toed sandles & WHITE towelling ankle socks.... pulled up to the middle of your shins....
Thats the spirit yes yes yes , i wan`t a pic of Carzz in this get up with a rolled up Stun in his back pocket and one of them plastic things that go round your neck to keep all you money in HAHA
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