Just built a New Gaff - wife wants more Kids
Just built a New Gaff - wife wants more Kids
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Discussion

rastapasta

Original Poster:

2,549 posts

168 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
quotequote all
Morning All

We have just built a new house and the wife wants to add to the brood (2 as it stands both under the age of 5) considering the amount of space, but my reservations are Not necessarily in this order):

1. Medical risk considering we are in our late 30's
2. Number 3 means a new car.
3. Too expensive

I am really flip flopping - some days yes other days no. Whats are the thoughts on this here.


Edited by rastapasta on Thursday 22 August 11:09

pozi

1,725 posts

217 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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Just say yes because unless you never want to have sex again once a women decides she wants more the decision has been made for you smile


Nickp82

3,959 posts

123 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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Already got a boy and a girl ? - nah

Already got two boys or girls ? - yup

We had a third towards end of last year, I was very much on the fence but don’t regret it at all now as we have added a girl to the two boys we already had.

The reduced options for what car you can get are a bit of a pain but hey ho, it’s just the family car end of the day.

pmanson

13,388 posts

283 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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We have three (oldest will be 10 in October, middle one turned 4 in early July and the third will be 3 early next month).

I was content with one, happy to have a 2nd (we tried for a long time), the third was a shock and not planned, she has a completely different character to the other 2, still doesn't sleep fully through the night but we wouldn't have it any other way.

Car wise - wife still has her old CRV (skip on wheels) but I did swap out my XF sportbrake for an XC90 about 15 months ago. The two youngest share a bedroom, although I suspect at some point I will lose my office at home so that the 4th bedroom can once again be a bedroom.

We don't tend to do hotel holidays (family tickets are always 2 adults + 2 kids) but plenty of holiday cottages etc around.

Be warned though, friends of ours had 4 children, tried for 1 more and ended up having triplets...

RC1807

13,681 posts

198 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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OP: didn't you and your wife talk about how many children you wanted before now?


pmanson said:
...Be warned though, friends of ours had 4 children, tried for 1 more and ended up having triplets...
yikes



S. Gonzales Esq.

2,559 posts

242 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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There are already too many people...

xjay1337

15,966 posts

148 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
quotequote all
S. Gonzales Esq. said:
There are already too many people...
Yup

Plus more money to spend on csa if a divorce! :-(

anonymous-user

84 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
quotequote all
xjay1337 said:
S. Gonzales Esq. said:
There are already too many people...
Yup

Plus more money to spend on csa if a divorce! :-(
fking hell. Is that seriously the way you people think?

sjg

7,677 posts

295 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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Nickp82 said:
Already got a boy and a girl ? - nah

Already got two boys or girls ? - yup

We had a third towards end of last year, I was very much on the fence but don’t regret it at all now as we have added a girl to the two boys we already had.

The reduced options for what car you can get are a bit of a pain but hey ho, it’s just the family car end of the day.
A former boss was of this thinking. They stopped after 5 girls.

3+ kids has become a bit of a status symbol. All the extra costs mount up and unless you're both earning really good money, the cost of childcare means one parent can't work at all.

PhilboSE

6,144 posts

256 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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You are approaching this with reason.
She is approaching it with emotion.

You cannot win a debate using rationale over belief. It’s like arguing with a flat earther or Darwinism refuser.

My wife said she wanted a third, I made all the same arguments about houses, cars, cost of upbringing. One day we were on the beach and she said “when I watch our children playing I just feel that there is one missing”. At that point I realised we were not having a rational debate where factors could be balanced and an optimal decision reached by mutual agreement so I conceded gracefully.

12 years later I wouldn’t have it any other way of course. We were late 30s, there is a lot of extra support and information available to manage the risks.

FredClogs

14,041 posts

191 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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We had 3 in 5 years, I'd say go for it, its hard work and car choices are limited when they're all in car seats but Wtf, you'll be too tired and frazzled to care.

Christmassss

650 posts

119 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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I have four, 3 girls ( 5,4 and 2), 1 boy.(8)

The oldest ones look after the youngest. The 3 girls have just moved into the same room as each other as that is what they wanted. Downstairs playroom is now my playroom and the children's playroom is now in a vacant bedroom upstairs.

Car wise, I have a Touran for when its the entire family, but to be honest. most of the time it is me and 1 or 2 of them so can use a 'normal' car.


bristolbaron

5,376 posts

242 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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We stuck at two, but apparently the jump from 2-3 isn’t as bad as 1-2.
We have one of each, but that didn’t make any difference to me at all. If anything it’s more inconvenient for hand me downs etc!

xjay1337

15,966 posts

148 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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bulldong said:
xjay1337 said:
S. Gonzales Esq. said:
There are already too many people...
Yup

Plus more money to spend on csa if a divorce! :-(
fking hell. Is that seriously the way you people think?
Well my own personal cynicism aside , we have far too many people on the earth as it is

We all need to be responsible.

Baby Shark doo doo doo doo

15,078 posts

199 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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You should have more respect for the climate, otherwise Meghan and Harry will take a private jet to your house and lecture you irked

I say keep them popping them out, lots of kids is ace biggrin plus it’s like a free(ish) boob job on the wife

AWRacing

1,746 posts

255 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
quotequote all
Get the snip and then agree to having another one, means guaranteed babymaking time without fear of another one landing (obviously dont tell her about the snip)

Johnnytheboy

24,499 posts

216 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
quotequote all
bulldong said:
xjay1337 said:
S. Gonzales Esq. said:
There are already too many people...
Yup

Plus more money to spend on csa if a divorce! :-(
fking hell. Is that seriously the way you people think?
No, that's the way one poster thinks.

That's how forums work.

PhilboSE

6,144 posts

256 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
quotequote all
xjay1337 said:
We all need to be responsible.
While government policy incentivises the workshy non-contributors to procreate more burdens on society, I’ll not feel guilty about having 3 children, thanks.

Doofus

34,392 posts

203 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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We always thought we wanted three children, but now that we have two, we've decided we only want one.

-Lee Mack

Poppiecock

943 posts

88 months

Thursday 22nd August 2019
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S. Gonzales Esq. said:
There are already too many people...
This.

One of the lease environmentally sound things you can do is have kids. Spawning more than just your replacements is killing the planet.