Withdrawal of fluids

[solo2]

So a family member yesterday requested withdrawal of fluids and be allowed to die due to advanced bowel cancer. I've never been desperately close to this family member but would seen them once/twice a year, they have never married/had children so have no immediate family. I'd like to be there with them for the duration this takes problem is my mobility issues makes is virtually impossible for me to get to the hospital they are in - its a massive effort to even get to my local hospital but to take public transport bus/train/tube is nigh on impossible especially if I am doing this daily for sometime.

Questions to anyone that might know are:

How long normally till patient is unconscious?
How long normally till they pass?
And most importantly what are the chances of getting them moved to somewhere more accessible for me to visit daily?

I just don't want them to die alone but just one visit to where they currently are would put me out of action for several days. No other distant family members can help/are interested in being there for the duration so it's just me.

[RTB]

Let us know your approximate location and the location of the hospital. I'm sure someone on here would be happy to help out if they can.

[Mr Pointy]

I don't know how near you are to the hospital & your financial situation but could you stay locally in something like an AirBNB apartment? you could then take a local taxi or Uber to the hospital. Obviously there would be a cost to this but it's unlikley to be for more than a few days if all fluids are being withheld.

[Cupramax]

Horrible situation, you have my sympathies. I went through this with my mum and lung cancer. She went in to the hospice on Friday, fluids withdrawn Saturday, she was on a lot of morphine so was pretty much non compos mentis from Saturday afternoon. She opened her eyes the last time on Monday afternoon and passed Monday evening. She did have kidney failure as well so whether this is a true timeline of what you can expect but 3 days I’d guess is pretty normal.

[DocJock]

8 days for my father with final stage Parkinsons.

[eybic]

My Mum had fluids withdrawn apart from Morphine and as above was "out of it" for a week before passing away from Cancer.

[solo2]

Has anyone ever been involved in moving a patient from one hospital to another especially for a non medical reason?

I'm guessing the fact that moving a patient purely so family can visit is not high on the list of priorties for the NHS

[eybic]

You could perhaps arrange for a private ambulance, the issue I suspect will be finding somewhere for palliative care that has space.

[solo2]

Old people can be such cantankerous old things at times! Thursday he suddenly decides actually he's not done with life just yet and ate and drank and was being rude to the nurses as only a old Victor Meldrew type can be and was his usual self. Socially he was always a bit cr@p and could never talk nicely to people - this is a huge reason he never married.

Without warning he passed away early hours yesterday morning with no family present.

[Sir Lord Harold]

solo2 said:

Old people can be such cantankerous old things at times! Thursday he suddenly decides actually he's not done with life just yet and ate and drank and was being rude to the nurses as only a old Victor Meldrew type can be and was his usual self. Socially he was always a bit cr@p and could never talk nicely to people - this is a huge reason he never married.

Without warning he passed away early hours yesterday morning with no family present.

Your man sounds a lot like me and trust me, he's better off for it. That sort of life's not worth living.

[CAPP0]

solo2 said:

Old people can be such cantankerous old things at times! Thursday he suddenly decides actually he's not done with life just yet and ate and drank and was being rude to the nurses as only a old Victor Meldrew type can be and was his usual self. Socially he was always a bit cr@p and could never talk nicely to people - this is a huge reason he never married.

Without warning he passed away early hours yesterday morning with no family present.

Sorry to hear that OP. Your intentions were absolutely honourable and you were trying hard to make a difficult situation work, and very selflessly you were doing that for the other person. I hope that helps at this difficult time.