Care homes

[solo2]

So my mum has quite advanced Alzheimer's and we estimate within the year she will need to go into a care home unfortunately. she's becoming very violent to my father because she's convinced he's a burglar in her home on a frequent basis calling the police to say that someone has broken into her home. Thankfully they've always been very good about her calls.

My question is she/they only have limited savings to pay for this and very soon it will need to be government/council funded. Would who pay effect the care home she can go into and therefore the standard of her care? I've tried googling but it just gives me info on levels of savings and nothing about actually where someone goes to live.

I could remortgage my home to help pay but I really can't afford that and with care homes costing in excess of one thousand a week anything I could raise wouldn't last very long anyway.

[Dont like rolls]

Call AGE Uk asap.....be open and discuss. Avoid the council people until you are sure about what you want.
Only your mothers finances are relevant. Keep your father in his home and I believe it is protected (A.Uk will advise).

I think you might be shocked at the quality of "funded" care homes for those with Dementia/ etc, especially if they are difficult to control/keep calm.
There are some good and bad medications which may help, do not be "against all medication", do not worry about "additive tablets" (at 70/80 it is not a worry). Some trial and error with your Dr's assistance maybe a good first step.

Good luck, talk a lot within your family and DO NOT try and do it without the assistance of those who are there to help because it is a constant battle/effort out of all proportion to what you expect.

Again, good luck and remember, CALL Age Uk or similar.

Edited by Dont like rolls on Sunday 24th November 19:17

[kurt535]

Cheaper route is a live in carer.

[Mr Tidy]

If your parents own their home don't expect any state or council funding - it won't happen.

My mother was 90 in 2012 and struggling to cope in her privately owned retirement flat.

So in 2013 she started using private carers, and when I did the sums recently it seems she spent over £17K on them between May 2013 and November 2017 - I haven't got the more recent figures yet, but they will be higher on an annual basis.

But by July this year she couldn't really cope with the private carers even though family were also visiting her 3 or 4 times a week to do her shopping, washing, personal care, etc.

So she moved into a residential care home, which costs about twice her monthly income!

Her flat is on the market, but I think I may need to look into equity release as I'm the only family member in a position to do so and her savings will run out pretty soon.

By contrast my former OH's mother lived in a housing association property with all bills paid by the State (as in us) and when she started to show signs of dementia they just moved her to a funded care home - probably because they got another vacant property!

So in summary if you own your home you're scr*wed, but if you spunge all your life it's all good.

[Phil Dicky]

My Dads in a care home with Alzeimers costing us £5k per month full nursing, which your Mum will need. Choose carefully as there are good and bad ones. One severely dehydrated my Dad, so we moved him.
I'm.afraid it's not pleasant moving forward and feel free to message me if you need any advice. We must be 3 years ahead of you I'm guessing.

[Mr Tidy]

Thanks for that. :thumbsup:

But I'm a bit been there, done that!

Taking this into account:- https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Having a TIA myself at the Royal Albert Hall in 2006 probably didn't help either.

Still I'm OK, so far.

[V8covin]

A lot of care homes won't accept violent residents,my mum was assessed and they reluctantly let her stay.....she wasn't violent as such just didn't like being made to do something against her will so would push the carer away.
They can't touch the family home if your father lives there.

[phumy]

My wife has had the Dementia diagnosis since 2014 (she was 60 at that time), she is now in a care home and been there for two year, I have been through the whole lot; Me giving home care for her, getting carers in for her, sorting out a care home but her not being accepted ( due to swearing, but thats due to wrong medication) then having to section her under the Mental Health Act. It has been the roughest ride of my life.


99 times out of 100, the violence can be suppressed by medication.

Do you have Power of Attourney for her, if not get it done asap (as long as she is of sane mind)

Get Social Services involved.

Get your Local Authority to do a financial assessment, she is possibly due some benefits to assist with paying for carers.

All the time your dad is living in their home the council/Local Authority/Care Home cannot take that house away.

Get in touch with your local MIND, they give really good advice and work in conjuction with social services.

Make sure that your mums local Dr knows what it going on, if you are her main carer then make sure that you inform the surgery of that too, you will get priority at the surgey queue whenever you feel rough.

Dont just sit back and think the world owes you something, you need to rattle cages, inform others and get the best for your mum, as they do not know what is going on, until you tell them.

Contact PIP (Personal Independant Payments) tell them whats going on.

Contact me via PM if you need any other info

[C2Red]

Phil Dicky said:

My Dads in a care home with Alzeimers costing us £5k per month full nursing, which your Mum will need. Choose carefully as there are good and bad ones. One severely dehydrated my Dad, so we moved him.
I'm.afraid it's not pleasant moving forward and feel free to message me if you need any advice. We must be 3 years ahead of you I'm guessing.

Almost the same position in costs over here, except that if nursing care is agreed, then state nhs funding of £165/week is taken from the cost; so that helps.
If you are assessed as needing full time nursing care, then the majority of costs are taken care of.
Trust me, it’s very easy to burn a very big hole in a very short time with these costs. Been there done that.

Social services may get involved, so LPOA is important to have signed off, although they may want to view financial accounts if the funding is signed off by the local assessment teams.

If it’s possible to have a CT scan, do it, it should help guide treatment, the memory clinic team only assessed us via conversation and a written test, had we had the opportunity to have a CT scan, it would have helped us as a family transition, mum had a major stroke that she had her first CT scan from, the second scan showed increased deterioration which we were oblivious to at the time

Local social care, I think was £560 a week contributing if you had less than £23.5k in assets, otherwise you have to fund.

If you are going to fund your parents, that would be my route, as well as establishing a good care home, CQC scores, paying unannounced visits to check the quality yourself, does it smell like an old folks home??? Sure you know what I mean, are staff and residents engaged, happy etc; it’s easy to see.

Lastly, you cannot deliberately deprive the estate of assets to avoid paying for care if your parents have the means, that was bought into law a couple of years ago

HTH

K

[C2Red]

Mr Tidy said:

If your parents own their home don't expect any state or council funding - it won't happen

Her flat is on the market, but I think I may need to look into equity release as I'm the only family member in a position to do so and her savings will run out pretty soon

Try approaching the social care teams, for interim funding, it might be cheaper long term that the 5% plus fees the equity release leeches will charge you, that’s the route we were heading down

[solo2]

Mr Tidy said:

So in summary if you own your home you're scr*wed, but if you spunge all your life it's all good.

Out of interest what's to stop a married couple putting their home solely in the name of the person who is not ill or gifting it to their children? I know gifts like that would mean inheritance tax would still need to be paid if they died with a certain number of years of the gift, is it 7 years currently- I have no idea?

I'm pretty sure people try to play the system to avoid paying the care home fees.

[solo2]

V8covin said:

A lot of care homes won't accept violent residents,my mum was assessed and they reluctantly let her stay.....she wasn't violent as such just didn't like being made to do something against her will so would push the carer away.
They can't touch the family home if your father lives there.

But surely if they had a home they jointly owned then they'd (care home/government) would want to a charge over it for when it is sold to cover her costs?

[solo2]

[quote=Phil Dicky}. We must be 3 years ahead of you I'm guessing.
[/quote]

3 Years

Not that I want her to pass but has assumed once she got that bad the end wouldn't be so far off. Maybe I need to think about giving up work and becoming her carer.

[Riley Blue]

solo2 said:

3 Years

Not that I want her to pass but has assumed once she got that bad the end wouldn't be so far off. Maybe I need to think about giving up work and becoming her carer.

In 2014 we went to an aunt's 90th birthday lunch in London. Within a year she was in a care home with vascular dementia where she has become increasingly disruptive but she's hanging on; the last of her generation in my family.

[phumy]

solo2 said:

V8covin said:

A lot of care homes won't accept violent residents,my mum was assessed and they reluctantly let her stay.....she wasn't violent as such just didn't like being made to do something against her will so would push the carer away.
They can't touch the family home if your father lives there.

But surely if they had a home they jointly owned then they'd (care home/government) would want to a charge over it for when it is sold to cover her costs?

That is a very strong possibility.

[phumy]

solo2 said:

[quote=Phil Dicky}. We must be 3 years ahead of you I'm guessing.

3 Years

Not that I want her to pass but has assumed once she got that bad the end wouldn't be so far off. Maybe I need to think about giving up work and becoming her carer.

Depending on the age at onset then some forms of Dementia can deteriorate at a very slow rate, (up to 25 years) others can consume the individual within 2 years or less sometimes. Its almost impossible for it to be predicted.

Edited by phumy on Tuesday 26th November 15:05

[Dont like rolls]

phumy said:

Depending on the age at onset then some forms of Dementia can deteriorate at a very slow rate, (up to 25 years) others can consume the individual within 2 years or less sometimes. Its almost impossible for it to be predicted.

Yep to this, 2 years into it and very little change. Two others I have known (close family/friend), one parent departed after 10 or so years and another after 8 months.

[Phil Dicky]

phumy said:

solo2 said:

[quote=Phil Dicky}. We must be 3 years ahead of you I'm guessing.

3 Years

Not that I want her to pass but has assumed once she got that bad the end wouldn't be so far off. Maybe I need to think about giving up work and becoming her carer.

Depending on the age at onset then some forms of Dementia can deteriorate at a very slow rate, (up to 25 years) others can consume the individual within 2 years or less sometimes. Its almost impossible for it to be predicted.

Dads been in home for 18mts now..totally bed bound...can't talk or doing anything for himself. Unfortunately he was a very fit bloke before the disease, which is working against him.

[phumy]

For some reason it looks like the quoting has gone a bit scew wiff for some reason. Not sure why

[C2Red]

solo2 said:

Mr Tidy said:

So in summary if you own your home you're scr*wed, but if you spunge all your life it's all good.

Out of interest what's to stop a married couple putting their home solely in the name of the person who is not ill or gifting it to their children? I know gifts like that would mean inheritance tax would still need to be paid if they died with a certain number of years of the gift, is it 7 years currently- I have no idea?

I'm pretty sure people try to play the system to avoid paying the care home fees.

As above, it could be construed as deliberate deprivation of assets to avoid paying any care home fees, you need to be very careful in the planning on this.