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hahahaha - excellent work on all sides....
Finalist Arrested For Calling Police Horse 'Gay'
By Jack Shenker
A drunken Balliol third year spent a night in the cells and was fined £80 after insulting a police horse on Cornmarket Street. Brown left ‘The Cellar’ nightclub at around 2am on Monday morning with a group of friends. Two mounted policemen were passing the group when Brown is alleged to have called out: “Mate, you know your horse is gay, I hope you don’t have a problem with that.” The officers appeared to take offence at the comment and warned Brown not to repeat it.
According to eyewitnesses, Brown then reassured the first officer it was not his horse he was insulting, remarking: “No, don’t worry. Your horse is fine, it’s his horse, his horse is gay.” The policemen again cautioned Brown that his language was inappropriate before walking on. However, Brown then began to follow the pair down the street, despite attempts by his friends to restrain him.
He called out: “The horse is gay, man, what’s the problem?” “Sam was adamant his equine gaydar was accurate,” eyewitness Daniel Cooper told The Oxford Student. The officers deemed Brown’s comments to be a breach of the public order act and decided to arrest him. “It was a massive sense of humour failure on the part of the policemen. They radioed for backup and then proceeded to pursue him at a trot,” recalled Cooper.
Brown was eventually apprehended on Ship Street after two squad cars arrived at the scene. Six policemen surrounded the student, who was handcuffed and taken to St Aldate’s Police Station, to the fury of his friends. “They read him his rights, handcuffed him, the whole lot,” said another eyewitness, former Balliol LGB Officer Matthew Williams.
“I repeatedly pointed out that ‘gay’ was not a pejorative term, and that insulting a police animal was surely not an arrestable offence, but to no avail,” continued Williams. “There was no resistance at any stage, no voices were raised, no one was disorderly and no animals were harmed during the course of the event,” added Cooper. As Brown was judged to be under the influence of alcohol, police officers at the station refused to interview him until the morning.
Another of Brown’s friends, Gethin Anthony, mounted a one-man all night vigil outside the station in protest: “I was expressing my dissatisfaction at their gross overreaction,” Anthony told this newspaper. Brown was eventually released just before 7am having been issued with a fine for ‘causing harassment, alarm or distress’, which must be paid within three weeks. He is now considering appealing against the fine after taking advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau.
When questioned on the offence, Brown expressed regret at his comments. “I swear to hold back on gender preference assumptions if they allow me to meet animals in the future,” he said. Those at the scene remain surprised at the police’s decision to formally arrest Brown. Cooper stated: “We were struggling to hold back tears at the ludicrous turn of events … we returned to college utterly bemused and shocked by the constabulary’s application of resources."
“Aside from the hilariousness of the event there’s also a serious question; isn’t it offensive to assume categorically the word ‘gay’ is insulting,” said Williams. “I kept drunkenly shouting at the police that I was offended that they assumed ‘gay’ was being used as an insult. I tried to persuade them Sam was my boyfriend but they weren’t buying it."
A spokeswoman for the University said they could not comment on individual cases but that it was at the discretion of the Proctors whether to take disciplinary action against students who break the law. A spokesman for Thames Valley Police confirmed a 21-year-old man was arrested on Ship Street in the early hours of Monday morning, but he denied the police had overreacted. “Both the officers involved said he [Brown] was abusive and acting in a drunken manner,” the spokesman said.
“He was warned twice but he persisted to act in a disorderly manner. “In our current stance against drunken behaviour we have a duty to take action in such instances."
Finalist Arrested For Calling Police Horse 'Gay'
By Jack Shenker
A drunken Balliol third year spent a night in the cells and was fined £80 after insulting a police horse on Cornmarket Street. Brown left ‘The Cellar’ nightclub at around 2am on Monday morning with a group of friends. Two mounted policemen were passing the group when Brown is alleged to have called out: “Mate, you know your horse is gay, I hope you don’t have a problem with that.” The officers appeared to take offence at the comment and warned Brown not to repeat it.
According to eyewitnesses, Brown then reassured the first officer it was not his horse he was insulting, remarking: “No, don’t worry. Your horse is fine, it’s his horse, his horse is gay.” The policemen again cautioned Brown that his language was inappropriate before walking on. However, Brown then began to follow the pair down the street, despite attempts by his friends to restrain him.
He called out: “The horse is gay, man, what’s the problem?” “Sam was adamant his equine gaydar was accurate,” eyewitness Daniel Cooper told The Oxford Student. The officers deemed Brown’s comments to be a breach of the public order act and decided to arrest him. “It was a massive sense of humour failure on the part of the policemen. They radioed for backup and then proceeded to pursue him at a trot,” recalled Cooper.
Brown was eventually apprehended on Ship Street after two squad cars arrived at the scene. Six policemen surrounded the student, who was handcuffed and taken to St Aldate’s Police Station, to the fury of his friends. “They read him his rights, handcuffed him, the whole lot,” said another eyewitness, former Balliol LGB Officer Matthew Williams.
“I repeatedly pointed out that ‘gay’ was not a pejorative term, and that insulting a police animal was surely not an arrestable offence, but to no avail,” continued Williams. “There was no resistance at any stage, no voices were raised, no one was disorderly and no animals were harmed during the course of the event,” added Cooper. As Brown was judged to be under the influence of alcohol, police officers at the station refused to interview him until the morning.
Another of Brown’s friends, Gethin Anthony, mounted a one-man all night vigil outside the station in protest: “I was expressing my dissatisfaction at their gross overreaction,” Anthony told this newspaper. Brown was eventually released just before 7am having been issued with a fine for ‘causing harassment, alarm or distress’, which must be paid within three weeks. He is now considering appealing against the fine after taking advice from the Citizens Advice Bureau.
When questioned on the offence, Brown expressed regret at his comments. “I swear to hold back on gender preference assumptions if they allow me to meet animals in the future,” he said. Those at the scene remain surprised at the police’s decision to formally arrest Brown. Cooper stated: “We were struggling to hold back tears at the ludicrous turn of events … we returned to college utterly bemused and shocked by the constabulary’s application of resources."
“Aside from the hilariousness of the event there’s also a serious question; isn’t it offensive to assume categorically the word ‘gay’ is insulting,” said Williams. “I kept drunkenly shouting at the police that I was offended that they assumed ‘gay’ was being used as an insult. I tried to persuade them Sam was my boyfriend but they weren’t buying it."
A spokeswoman for the University said they could not comment on individual cases but that it was at the discretion of the Proctors whether to take disciplinary action against students who break the law. A spokesman for Thames Valley Police confirmed a 21-year-old man was arrested on Ship Street in the early hours of Monday morning, but he denied the police had overreacted. “Both the officers involved said he [Brown] was abusive and acting in a drunken manner,” the spokesman said.
“He was warned twice but he persisted to act in a disorderly manner. “In our current stance against drunken behaviour we have a duty to take action in such instances."
Fat Audi 80 said:
Me too. What a waste of time! 
i dunno. sounds like he was given more than fair warning to button it. he provided his mates with a laugh and got to spend the night at her majestys for a very reasonable £80. he sounds so drunk they probably did him a favour.
i think the sexuality of the horse is a major issue. if it is gay then this was a homophobic hate crime, if not possibly very damaging libel. BTW do the straight horses have to share the same stables ?
It's a bit silly if you ask me. Being saddled with the reputation of riding a gay horse might be upsetting, but the police need to rein in their reactions to students clearly having a bit of horseplay. They are being far too blinkered if they think that all students are out to stirrup trouble.
>> Edited by MR2Mike on Wednesday 8th June 16:26
>> Edited by MR2Mike on Wednesday 8th June 16:26
I think the phrase is "Everyone's a volunteer." Pissed blokes seem incapable of understanding when told "You're pissed, you're acting like an arsehole now 
off home before you get nicked."
If this pearl of wisdom is not taken on board by pissed oik, and the Police are seen by the public-at-large to ignore loud, drunken outbursts then complaints roll in from the said public saying what a disgrace it is that the Police don't tackle this low-level disorder that makes them fearful to walk a town centre at night.
Pissed student, acted like an arse, got nicked, £80 ticket - no criminal record, lesson learnt.
All sounds pretty par for the course to me.
off home before you get nicked." If this pearl of wisdom is not taken on board by pissed oik, and the Police are seen by the public-at-large to ignore loud, drunken outbursts then complaints roll in from the said public saying what a disgrace it is that the Police don't tackle this low-level disorder that makes them fearful to walk a town centre at night.
Pissed student, acted like an arse, got nicked, £80 ticket - no criminal record, lesson learnt.
All sounds pretty par for the course to me.
xxplod said:
Pissed student, acted like an arse, got nicked, £80 ticket - no criminal record, lesson learnt.
All sounds pretty par for the course to me.
absolutely. like i said good effort on both sides.
if you get held overnight do you get breakfast? i'd definately want a full english for £80
francisb said:
absolutely. like i said good effort on both sides.
if you get held overnight do you get breakfast? i'd definately want a full english for £80
I did when I was banged up for nicking a road sign
- proper full english one too - very good value 
Rather similar circumstances too with a similar level of disbelief, although mine was in the Other Place - but I guess unreasonable plod is the same all over.
I suspect this possibly not quite as the students have posted.
Having experienced plenty of this type of "humour" from drunken persons myself in the past, they ceratinly get plenty of warning, that should penetrate even the most booze addled brain. It usually goes along the lines of:
"If you continue to do/say XYZ, I shall arrest you."
Behaviour/language continues
"Please do not continue with that behaviour/language, or you WILL be arrested."
Behaviour/language continues.
"Stop doing/saying that, go home, or you will be arrested."
Behaviour/language continues.
"This is your last warning. If you carry on doing/saying that, I will arrest you, without further warning."
Behaviour/language continues.
Subject is arrested, then bleats about how "unfairly" they've been treated by the Police for "having a laugh".
It isn't funny when you've heard the same abuse for the nth time, but as most of us try to be reasonable, we do give plenty of opportunity for the subject to walk away. If they choose not to take this option, they have no-one to blame but themsleves.
Having experienced plenty of this type of "humour" from drunken persons myself in the past, they ceratinly get plenty of warning, that should penetrate even the most booze addled brain. It usually goes along the lines of:
"If you continue to do/say XYZ, I shall arrest you."
Behaviour/language continues
"Please do not continue with that behaviour/language, or you WILL be arrested."
Behaviour/language continues.
"Stop doing/saying that, go home, or you will be arrested."
Behaviour/language continues.
"This is your last warning. If you carry on doing/saying that, I will arrest you, without further warning."
Behaviour/language continues.
Subject is arrested, then bleats about how "unfairly" they've been treated by the Police for "having a laugh".
It isn't funny when you've heard the same abuse for the nth time, but as most of us try to be reasonable, we do give plenty of opportunity for the subject to walk away. If they choose not to take this option, they have no-one to blame but themsleves.
Dibble said:
I suspect this possibly not quite as the students have posted.
"The policemen again cautioned Brown that his language was inappropriate before walking on. However, Brown then began to follow the pair down the street, despite attempts by his friends to restrain him. "
relax. i dont think anyone can argue he didnt have it comming! uk/chav/football culture im afraid. you see if any of the lions or kiwis answer back to the ref!!!
Dibble said:
a load of sense as usual
Anyone with teenagers in the family will recognise the same scenario.
Various warnings escalating up the scale with warnings of sanction to be imposed.
When warnings ignored and sanction is imposed then you are the bar steward and get a Harry Enfield's Kevin like response of "That is sooo unfair!"
For a time I thought, and still do to some extent that it is just kids being assholes. Then a trick cyclist explained it that it is some part of teenagers brains which haven't developed yet.
I forget the exact name, no doubt medics can enlighten us, but it means they have very limited recognition of actions and consequences.
Maybe altake of incofrol reduces the efficiency of that part of the barin. Maybe it never develops in scrotes, dunno but it seems to make sense with the hopeful emergence of a responsible adult from the a-hole chrysalis. We live in hope.
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