Relationship advise.
Discussion
5 months have past since I found out what I found out. Things have marginally improved between us but I still feel she isn't happy we aren't as close as we used to be before kids.
She turns the smallest things into a massive argument sometimes I feel like I am walking on egg shells. When we're in the same room together she is more interested in playing 'choices' game on her phone than she is talking to me.
She has begrudgingly had sex with me twice maybe three times since September never shows any affection often makes me feel like a pervert for even suggesting we have sex and I'm always the one to make the first move. On the other hand whenever someone she finds attractive is on the telly she will drool and say how 'fit' he is. Hmmm?
Hardly ever talks to me because she wants to talk to me it's always if we need something from the shops or regarding the girls.
Everytime we have an argument I'm always the one to try and make things right.
I've bought her a keyring and planning on buying flowers for valentines I'm pretty confident she won't buy me anything or have even thought about it.
Am I wasting my time? She says she is happy etc but actions speak louder than words.
She turns the smallest things into a massive argument sometimes I feel like I am walking on egg shells. When we're in the same room together she is more interested in playing 'choices' game on her phone than she is talking to me.
She has begrudgingly had sex with me twice maybe three times since September never shows any affection often makes me feel like a pervert for even suggesting we have sex and I'm always the one to make the first move. On the other hand whenever someone she finds attractive is on the telly she will drool and say how 'fit' he is. Hmmm?
Hardly ever talks to me because she wants to talk to me it's always if we need something from the shops or regarding the girls.
Everytime we have an argument I'm always the one to try and make things right.
I've bought her a keyring and planning on buying flowers for valentines I'm pretty confident she won't buy me anything or have even thought about it.
Am I wasting my time? She says she is happy etc but actions speak louder than words.
Gary29 said:
No idea if you're trolling or past posts etc, so I'll give my advice based on face value of this post. It's over, there is no relationship, move on sooner rather than later so you can get on your path to emotional recovery quicker rather than pining over this lost cause.
This, I spent months of my time trying to fix something that was already dead, you will only get hurt more in the long run and it will be harder on you, just focus on the girls.If you need anything PM, seriously.
227bhp said:
What was that?
Found her on "Plenty of F*cks" from what I recall.@OP - It sounds very much like you're simply cohabiting and not in a relationship; I think you know this too and just want to hear it from a third source to validate that conclusion.
It sounds like you've given in a go but if only one of you is making the effort it's not going to work out.
My advice would be to bow out gracefully now so you can then place your affections where they will be reflected.
I am not trolling those in the know will remember my other thread.
Keyring - Me her and the girls not very romantic I know but that's why I am getting flowers also.
Once upon a time in not the too distant past she was devoted to me would literally do anything but when baby number two came along that is when things went down hill part of it is down to stress it is indeed very stressful.
Things haven't been right between us since last July/August I can just feel it in the air. I really want things to work out between us but I feel she isn't making the same effort as I am.
Now has claims it's all down to stress but she isn't stressed 24/7 on an evening for example she would prefer to either read books on her kindle or watch some s
te on telly than watch something together.
It isn't nice being made to feel like a pervert when you try to be close with the woman you love. She doesnt understand this I offer her a back massage and her reply is;
'No you get carried away and want to put your penis where it isn't wanted'
Well I thought that was normal. Mhmm?
If she truly isn't happy why won't she just admit it? Everything is starting to make me feel very fed up with life.
Keyring - Me her and the girls not very romantic I know but that's why I am getting flowers also.
Once upon a time in not the too distant past she was devoted to me would literally do anything but when baby number two came along that is when things went down hill part of it is down to stress it is indeed very stressful.
Things haven't been right between us since last July/August I can just feel it in the air. I really want things to work out between us but I feel she isn't making the same effort as I am.
Now has claims it's all down to stress but she isn't stressed 24/7 on an evening for example she would prefer to either read books on her kindle or watch some s
te on telly than watch something together.It isn't nice being made to feel like a pervert when you try to be close with the woman you love. She doesnt understand this I offer her a back massage and her reply is;
'No you get carried away and want to put your penis where it isn't wanted'
Well I thought that was normal. Mhmm?
If she truly isn't happy why won't she just admit it? Everything is starting to make me feel very fed up with life.
Total Drivin said:
It isn't nice being made to feel like a pervert when you try to be close with the woman you love. She doesnt understand this I offer her a back massage and her reply is;
'No you get carried away and want to put your penis where it isn't wanted'
Well I thought that was normal. Mhmm?
.
At this stage of the game, maybe you should take the easier pink, rather than attenpt the difficult brown. 'No you get carried away and want to put your penis where it isn't wanted'
Well I thought that was normal. Mhmm?
.
Edited by sparkythecat on Thursday 13th February 09:49
Total Drivin said:
I am not trolling those in the know will remember my other thread.
Keyring - Me her and the girls not very romantic I know but that's why I am getting flowers also.
Once upon a time in not the too distant past she was devoted to me would literally do anything but when baby number two came along that is when things went down hill part of it is down to stress it is indeed very stressful.
Things haven't been right between us since last July/August I can just feel it in the air. I really want things to work out between us but I feel she isn't making the same effort as I am.
Now has claims it's all down to stress but she isn't stressed 24/7 on an evening for example she would prefer to either read books on her kindle or watch some ste on telly than watch something together.
It isn't nice being made to feel like a pervert when you try to be close with the woman you love. She doesnt understand this I offer her a back massage and her reply is;
'No you get carried away and want to put your penis where it isn't wanted'
Well I thought that was normal. Mhmm?
If she truly isn't happy why won't she just admit it? Everything is starting to make me feel very fed up with life.
Don't walk away OP-run like hell, don't drag your pain out like this!Keyring - Me her and the girls not very romantic I know but that's why I am getting flowers also.
Once upon a time in not the too distant past she was devoted to me would literally do anything but when baby number two came along that is when things went down hill part of it is down to stress it is indeed very stressful.
Things haven't been right between us since last July/August I can just feel it in the air. I really want things to work out between us but I feel she isn't making the same effort as I am.
Now has claims it's all down to stress but she isn't stressed 24/7 on an evening for example she would prefer to either read books on her kindle or watch some s
te on telly than watch something together.It isn't nice being made to feel like a pervert when you try to be close with the woman you love. She doesnt understand this I offer her a back massage and her reply is;
'No you get carried away and want to put your penis where it isn't wanted'
Well I thought that was normal. Mhmm?
If she truly isn't happy why won't she just admit it? Everything is starting to make me feel very fed up with life.
Total Drivin said:
I am not trolling those in the know will remember my other thread.
Keyring - Me her and the girls not very romantic I know but that's why I am getting flowers also.
Once upon a time in not the too distant past she was devoted to me would literally do anything but when baby number two came along that is when things went down hill part of it is down to stress it is indeed very stressful.
Things haven't been right between us since last July/August I can just feel it in the air. I really want things to work out between us but I feel she isn't making the same effort as I am.
Now has claims it's all down to stress but she isn't stressed 24/7 on an evening for example she would prefer to either read books on her kindle or watch some ste on telly than watch something together.
It isn't nice being made to feel like a pervert when you try to be close with the woman you love. She doesnt understand this I offer her a back massage and her reply is;
'No you get carried away and want to put your penis where it isn't wanted'
Well I thought that was normal. Mhmm?
If she truly isn't happy why won't she just admit it? Everything is starting to make me feel very fed up with life.
Honestly mate leave her, it's not working.Keyring - Me her and the girls not very romantic I know but that's why I am getting flowers also.
Once upon a time in not the too distant past she was devoted to me would literally do anything but when baby number two came along that is when things went down hill part of it is down to stress it is indeed very stressful.
Things haven't been right between us since last July/August I can just feel it in the air. I really want things to work out between us but I feel she isn't making the same effort as I am.
Now has claims it's all down to stress but she isn't stressed 24/7 on an evening for example she would prefer to either read books on her kindle or watch some s
te on telly than watch something together.It isn't nice being made to feel like a pervert when you try to be close with the woman you love. She doesnt understand this I offer her a back massage and her reply is;
'No you get carried away and want to put your penis where it isn't wanted'
Well I thought that was normal. Mhmm?
If she truly isn't happy why won't she just admit it? Everything is starting to make me feel very fed up with life.
As I told someone in another thread, while I may not do the same in your situation that is the advice and the best thing.
Before you turn into a shell of the man you are. Because women can do that to you.
First thing I would is to have a sit down talk with your wife, pick your time of day and when you are both calm. Do the talk face to face and over a cup of tea and stay calm, suggest that you reconvene if it gets heated. Explain that you love her and the family and want everyone to be happy, you want an understanding as to why she is sending out other signals, can we talk about it?
Bear in mind that this friendly talk may bring everything to a head and be a catalyst for big changes, some people would prefer to stay together in a toxic relationship for the sake of the children and wait until they have grown up before they split up.
Bear in mind that this friendly talk may bring everything to a head and be a catalyst for big changes, some people would prefer to stay together in a toxic relationship for the sake of the children and wait until they have grown up before they split up.
Sound like you've tried, which is all you can do. It sounds like shes just doing this so your the one who says "fk this, I'm off!"
I would keep the key-ring, give the flowers to somebody else and tell her to get back on Plenty of BBC or whatever it was she was on...
You may find telling her your off sorts it out. If shes totally fine about it, you know you've done the right thing.
Ask yourself would you treat somebody you like the same way?
k this, I'm off!"I would keep the key-ring, give the flowers to somebody else and tell her to get back on Plenty of BBC or whatever it was she was on...
You may find telling her your off sorts it out. If shes totally fine about it, you know you've done the right thing.
Ask yourself would you treat somebody you like the same way?
I've spoke to her many times usually after arguments to try and sort things out. I ask if she is happy etc.
It always comes back to the girls stress her out in fairness my four year old could listen a little more but she is a child and the baby as demanding as she is is baby. I'm at work Monday to Friday so she is with them more than me but at weekends when she is working I know how hard it can be which is why I take them places to keep them occupied to give her a break.
Last weekend for example she was called into work on the Friday evening on Saturday I took them to Eden camp in the storm so she could sleep got back around 3 ish and she was huffing and puffing within an hour at them.
I've asked if she is depressed she says it is just stress.
As for showing any affection it has been so long it is starting to feel weird when I even try to initiate sex she doesn't seem bothered in the slightest.
Her excuse used to always be she is tired now she just makes a comment like 'you get carried away trying to put your penis where it isn't wanted' talk about shooting me down in flames. How would she feel if I said similar to her?
She knows full well it bothers me but not enough to do anything about it.
She has stopped the whole 'that's it we're done' thing like she used to over the smallest thing but I can feel it brewing and going back to that.
Last nights argument involved her screaming 'it's my life I can do what I want'
.....
Make of that what you will.
Anyway I've spoke to her this morning via text whilst I'm at work and again she says it's stress. I won't see her today anyway because when I finish work she will just be starting.
I don't want to end the relationship she says she wants us to stay together as a family but she has a very funny way of showing it.
I don't know what to think anymore my head is starting to feel fked. What I do know is once upon a time I would have trusted her with my life but now not so much.
It always comes back to the girls stress her out in fairness my four year old could listen a little more but she is a child and the baby as demanding as she is is baby. I'm at work Monday to Friday so she is with them more than me but at weekends when she is working I know how hard it can be which is why I take them places to keep them occupied to give her a break.
Last weekend for example she was called into work on the Friday evening on Saturday I took them to Eden camp in the storm so she could sleep got back around 3 ish and she was huffing and puffing within an hour at them.
I've asked if she is depressed she says it is just stress.
As for showing any affection it has been so long it is starting to feel weird when I even try to initiate sex she doesn't seem bothered in the slightest.
Her excuse used to always be she is tired now she just makes a comment like 'you get carried away trying to put your penis where it isn't wanted' talk about shooting me down in flames. How would she feel if I said similar to her?
She knows full well it bothers me but not enough to do anything about it.
She has stopped the whole 'that's it we're done' thing like she used to over the smallest thing but I can feel it brewing and going back to that.
Last nights argument involved her screaming 'it's my life I can do what I want'
.....
Make of that what you will.
Anyway I've spoke to her this morning via text whilst I'm at work and again she says it's stress. I won't see her today anyway because when I finish work she will just be starting.
I don't want to end the relationship she says she wants us to stay together as a family but she has a very funny way of showing it.
I don't know what to think anymore my head is starting to feel f
ked. What I do know is once upon a time I would have trusted her with my life but now not so much.For those in the dark, this is the OP's previous thread
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
CharlieH89 said:
Get out before you propose, get married, buy a house and have children.
It’ll never change.
Find someone who you connect with and share interests with.
There’s millions of women all over the world who’ll be more suited to you.
We've been together since 2012.It’ll never change.
Find someone who you connect with and share interests with.
There’s millions of women all over the world who’ll be more suited to you.
Have two daughters.
Have a house.
Total Drivin said:
I've spoke to her many times usually after arguments to try and sort things out. I ask if she is happy etc.
It always comes back to the girls stress her out in fairness my four year old could listen a little more but she is a child and the baby as demanding as she is is baby. I'm at work Monday to Friday so she is with them more than me but at weekends when she is working I know how hard it can be which is why I take them places to keep them occupied to give her a break.
Last weekend for example she was called into work on the Friday evening on Saturday I took them to Eden camp in the storm so she could sleep got back around 3 ish and she was huffing and puffing within an hour at them.
I've asked if she is depressed she says it is just stress.
As for showing any affection it has been so long it is starting to feel weird when I even try to initiate sex she doesn't seem bothered in the slightest.
Her excuse used to always be she is tired now she just makes a comment like 'you get carried away trying to put your penis where it isn't wanted' talk about shooting me down in flames. How would she feel if I said similar to her?
She knows full well it bothers me but not enough to do anything about it.
She has stopped the whole 'that's it we're done' thing like she used to over the smallest thing but I can feel it brewing and going back to that.
Last nights argument involved her screaming 'it's my life I can do what I want'
.....
Make of that what you will.
Anyway I've spoke to her this morning via text whilst I'm at work and again she says it's stress. I won't see her today anyway because when I finish work she will just be starting.
I don't want to end the relationship she says she wants us to stay together as a family but she has a very funny way of showing it.
I don't know what to think anymore my head is starting to feel fked. What I do know is once upon a time I would have trusted her with my life but now not so much.
Called into work on a Friday evening?!?! What does she do?It always comes back to the girls stress her out in fairness my four year old could listen a little more but she is a child and the baby as demanding as she is is baby. I'm at work Monday to Friday so she is with them more than me but at weekends when she is working I know how hard it can be which is why I take them places to keep them occupied to give her a break.
Last weekend for example she was called into work on the Friday evening on Saturday I took them to Eden camp in the storm so she could sleep got back around 3 ish and she was huffing and puffing within an hour at them.
I've asked if she is depressed she says it is just stress.
As for showing any affection it has been so long it is starting to feel weird when I even try to initiate sex she doesn't seem bothered in the slightest.
Her excuse used to always be she is tired now she just makes a comment like 'you get carried away trying to put your penis where it isn't wanted' talk about shooting me down in flames. How would she feel if I said similar to her?
She knows full well it bothers me but not enough to do anything about it.
She has stopped the whole 'that's it we're done' thing like she used to over the smallest thing but I can feel it brewing and going back to that.
Last nights argument involved her screaming 'it's my life I can do what I want'
.....
Make of that what you will.
Anyway I've spoke to her this morning via text whilst I'm at work and again she says it's stress. I won't see her today anyway because when I finish work she will just be starting.
I don't want to end the relationship she says she wants us to stay together as a family but she has a very funny way of showing it.
I don't know what to think anymore my head is starting to feel f
ked. What I do know is once upon a time I would have trusted her with my life but now not so much.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff