Counselling Advice?
Discussion
Bit of a sensitive this one...
Background: Several years ago (2013) we were burgled. We weren't home at the time but the wife arrived home first to a house that was upside down and lots of items missing.
It shook her up something awful, at the time I thought it was a short term thing, but over time it became obvious that this was having a longer term effect.
Over the next few years she remained very anxious around leaving the house for any period of time, nights away over the next few years became stressful events with lots of tears, and lot of worry up to the time we went away. Lack of sleep, lack of appetite etc. Any mention of local burglary crime etc brought everything on again.
2016 we moved house and things have gradually got better, holidays still produce some anxious moments, but overall things have definitely improved.
Earlier this week a neighbor on the small cul-de-sac we live on was broken into. And everything has come back, I came home to a wife in tears and since then we've had nights of limited sleep, lack of appetite and lots of worry about leaving the house even to run the kids to nursery.
My question then I guess is would some sort of counselling / speaking to some help her in some capacity? Nothing I can say helps her, i'm obviously supportive but this can't continue for ever.
Who could she speak too? - the GP wasn't much use when she mentioned it a couple of years back.
Where do I find a suitable counsellor?
What does a suitable counsellor look like for something like this?
Will it help?
Cheers
Background: Several years ago (2013) we were burgled. We weren't home at the time but the wife arrived home first to a house that was upside down and lots of items missing.
It shook her up something awful, at the time I thought it was a short term thing, but over time it became obvious that this was having a longer term effect.
Over the next few years she remained very anxious around leaving the house for any period of time, nights away over the next few years became stressful events with lots of tears, and lot of worry up to the time we went away. Lack of sleep, lack of appetite etc. Any mention of local burglary crime etc brought everything on again.
2016 we moved house and things have gradually got better, holidays still produce some anxious moments, but overall things have definitely improved.
Earlier this week a neighbor on the small cul-de-sac we live on was broken into. And everything has come back, I came home to a wife in tears and since then we've had nights of limited sleep, lack of appetite and lots of worry about leaving the house even to run the kids to nursery.
My question then I guess is would some sort of counselling / speaking to some help her in some capacity? Nothing I can say helps her, i'm obviously supportive but this can't continue for ever.
Who could she speak too? - the GP wasn't much use when she mentioned it a couple of years back.
Where do I find a suitable counsellor?
What does a suitable counsellor look like for something like this?
Will it help?
Cheers
I’d have thought a therapist specialising in PTSD or CBT would be the place to start. Possibly hypnotherapy?
I’m guessing you have the security aspects covered - CCTV, Alarm system, doorbell camera etc, at least these would give her some assurance home is currently a safe place.
It may seem like an irrational fear, but look at the majority of phobias. The idea of someone violating your home is a lot for some to handle.
I’m guessing you have the security aspects covered - CCTV, Alarm system, doorbell camera etc, at least these would give her some assurance home is currently a safe place.
It may seem like an irrational fear, but look at the majority of phobias. The idea of someone violating your home is a lot for some to handle.
Dan_1981 said:
Who could she speak too? - the GP wasn't much use when she mentioned it a couple of years back.
Where do I find a suitable counsellor?
What does a suitable counsellor look like for something like this?
Will it help?
I would definitely seek a counsellor - clearly this event has triggered a significant psychological response in your wife that with treatment I would think could be improved.Where do I find a suitable counsellor?
What does a suitable counsellor look like for something like this?
Will it help?
The problem with the GP route is that there isn't really the resources readily available in the NHS to help with this type of problem. However, if your wife did arrange a GP appointment and explained she was happy to pay for a counsellor who did private work, your GP will likely have a list of names they were happy to recommend.
Alternatively if you look at google you will usually find local directories online which continue short resumes of each person. I'd email 4 or 5 of them with a summary of the situation and perhaps consider arranging to visit the one who replied with the most insight to your enquiry.
Could google "PTSD counselling in my area" as that will bring up local services. Also this site: https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/ptsd.html
EddieSteadyGo said:
I would definitely seek a counsellor - clearly this event has triggered a significant psychological response in your wife that with treatment I would think could be improved.
The problem with the GP route is that there isn't really the resources readily available in the NHS to help with this type of problem. However, if your wife did arrange a GP appointment and explained she was happy to pay for a counsellor who did private work, your GP will likely have a list of names they were happy to recommend.
It must depend where you live as my O/H's GP prescribed her a sessions with a NHS CBT counsellor. Not a penny changed hands.The problem with the GP route is that there isn't really the resources readily available in the NHS to help with this type of problem. However, if your wife did arrange a GP appointment and explained she was happy to pay for a counsellor who did private work, your GP will likely have a list of names they were happy to recommend.
Riley Blue said:
It must depend where you live as my O/H's GP prescribed her a sessions with a NHS CBT counsellor. Not a penny changed hands.
Could be the case. My info is from my brother's wife who is a GP, but I accept it could vary across the country. And I guess it also depends upon the severity of the symptoms. Best of luck, and sympathy for your wife's plight.
As you say, it is illogical, so CCTV is not going to cure it. It's infuriating. Domestic burglary should be viewed as an attack on the person rather than a property offence. A burglar never pays their debt to society, despite what they say. They've just been punished. The effects of their crime ripple out for years some time, as in your wife's case. It not a particularly unusual response.
The fact that it has 'returned' shows that it never really went away. You and your wife have to come to a conclusion as to whether it needs to be dealt with.
Counselling is not for everyone. However, there are 'volunteer' places that do it. I know some who found it very helpful. I had mental health problems and found a psychologist very helpful, if only in realising it was down to me to sort it. Expensive though.
The biggest help is someone who supports them, and she seems to have this cracked. So well done.
As I say, best of luck.
As you say, it is illogical, so CCTV is not going to cure it. It's infuriating. Domestic burglary should be viewed as an attack on the person rather than a property offence. A burglar never pays their debt to society, despite what they say. They've just been punished. The effects of their crime ripple out for years some time, as in your wife's case. It not a particularly unusual response.
The fact that it has 'returned' shows that it never really went away. You and your wife have to come to a conclusion as to whether it needs to be dealt with.
Counselling is not for everyone. However, there are 'volunteer' places that do it. I know some who found it very helpful. I had mental health problems and found a psychologist very helpful, if only in realising it was down to me to sort it. Expensive though.
The biggest help is someone who supports them, and she seems to have this cracked. So well done.
As I say, best of luck.
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