Covid nurse... the fallout for my wife
Discussion
Hey,
Looking for a little advice without giving too much personal info away....
My wife is a specialist nurse who got co-opted into working on a Covid ward. She was comforting several people a week as they slipped away from Covid 19. It's not a normal scenario for a mental health nurse.
This is on top of her other (main) job as a specialist nurse dealing with self harmers and suicide attempts. She confessed to me this morning that she is having night terrors and waking up at odd hours after having out of body experiences thst she cant wake from and pure "WTF" experiences.
I dont really know what to do but this is affecting her in a major way. She doesnt' want councilling (long story) but she is on the ragged edge and only by the grace of god is she on the right side!
Can anyone offer any help?
Looking for a little advice without giving too much personal info away....
My wife is a specialist nurse who got co-opted into working on a Covid ward. She was comforting several people a week as they slipped away from Covid 19. It's not a normal scenario for a mental health nurse.
This is on top of her other (main) job as a specialist nurse dealing with self harmers and suicide attempts. She confessed to me this morning that she is having night terrors and waking up at odd hours after having out of body experiences thst she cant wake from and pure "WTF" experiences.
I dont really know what to do but this is affecting her in a major way. She doesnt' want councilling (long story) but she is on the ragged edge and only by the grace of god is she on the right side!
Can anyone offer any help?
https://www.rcn.org.uk/get-help/member-support-ser...
Any of these any help? Our trust also has links to support networks on our intranet. Has she spoken to colleagues about it?
Any of these any help? Our trust also has links to support networks on our intranet. Has she spoken to colleagues about it?
From your description - Emergency appointment with your GP and go with her to make sure everything is put on the table.
Then go from there.
Medical Professionals are awful at looking after themselves - Rationalising something like this would be par for the course.
As for yourself, confide in a good friend on what's going on - You'll also need some support.
Then go from there.
Medical Professionals are awful at looking after themselves - Rationalising something like this would be par for the course.
As for yourself, confide in a good friend on what's going on - You'll also need some support.
K77 CTR said:
Also sounds like she probably needs signing off sick if possible.
Unfortunately, her main employer, is a private hospital. Therefore, its SSP all the way. 
I offered to meet the difference but she doesnt want me to do that as she feels its unfair. What is unfair is the CEO of said hospital taking half a million payrise and f
k the nurses and other staff I am an RMN, who works in a private hospital. I have nursed covid 19 patients, thankfully none have died yet.
Her experience is much the same as mine. Been there, the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the constant worry you are responsible, yet under staffed without all the equipment the nhs have at their disposal.
I cut my hours down, which has helped a lot. If your wife or you feel like it would be helpful to talk to me about it (i am not a counsellor) id be happy to listen. Email me.
Her experience is much the same as mine. Been there, the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the constant worry you are responsible, yet under staffed without all the equipment the nhs have at their disposal.
I cut my hours down, which has helped a lot. If your wife or you feel like it would be helpful to talk to me about it (i am not a counsellor) id be happy to listen. Email me.
ChocyLint1 said:
Hey,
Looking for a little advice without giving too much personal info away....
My wife is a specialist nurse who got co-opted into working on a Covid ward. She was comforting several people a week as they slipped away from Covid 19. It's not a normal scenario for a mental health nurse.
This is on top of her other (main) job as a specialist nurse dealing with self harmers and suicide attempts. She confessed to me this morning that she is having night terrors and waking up at odd hours after having out of body experiences thst she cant wake from and pure "WTF" experiences.
I dont really know what to do but this is affecting her in a major way. She doesnt' want councilling (long story) but she is on the ragged edge and only by the grace of god is she on the right side!
Can anyone offer any help?
Could it be Sleep Paralysis - this can quickly spiral - SP causes less sleep - less sleep causes more sleep paralysis. If not checked, can start to have a major impact and difficult to break the cycle without stepping back from the situation. Looking for a little advice without giving too much personal info away....
My wife is a specialist nurse who got co-opted into working on a Covid ward. She was comforting several people a week as they slipped away from Covid 19. It's not a normal scenario for a mental health nurse.
This is on top of her other (main) job as a specialist nurse dealing with self harmers and suicide attempts. She confessed to me this morning that she is having night terrors and waking up at odd hours after having out of body experiences thst she cant wake from and pure "WTF" experiences.
I dont really know what to do but this is affecting her in a major way. She doesnt' want councilling (long story) but she is on the ragged edge and only by the grace of god is she on the right side!
Can anyone offer any help?
Awful situation for you both.
I am not an expert in mental health but I have wondered whether/when clinical staff might start suffering from the clinical equivalent of combat stress.
It's important to remember something very wise that I was once told; resilience to psychological pressure is not like capital which youve either got or you haven't, it's like income which is constantly earned and expended. In difficult times, it's easy to exhaust - or expend - your resilience far quicker than you can earn it.
As a minimum, your wife should be taking time off to relax and detach from her work.
I am not an expert in mental health but I have wondered whether/when clinical staff might start suffering from the clinical equivalent of combat stress.
It's important to remember something very wise that I was once told; resilience to psychological pressure is not like capital which youve either got or you haven't, it's like income which is constantly earned and expended. In difficult times, it's easy to exhaust - or expend - your resilience far quicker than you can earn it.
As a minimum, your wife should be taking time off to relax and detach from her work.
Hi Everyone,
Thanks very much for the input. It is appreciated. I am thankful the confirmation that it is not unusual in these situations. I will speak to her this morning over breakfast/lunch and see what we can do. I cant make her do anything but I think she realises she needs help.
I will keep you abreast of the outcome. BTW for those that are in a similar position within the NHS, it offers a free and confidential councelling service for its staff on 0300 131 7000. Not too useful for non-nhs peeps but I put it out there that it may help others who come by this thread.
Regards
CL
Thanks very much for the input. It is appreciated. I am thankful the confirmation that it is not unusual in these situations. I will speak to her this morning over breakfast/lunch and see what we can do. I cant make her do anything but I think she realises she needs help.
I will keep you abreast of the outcome. BTW for those that are in a similar position within the NHS, it offers a free and confidential councelling service for its staff on 0300 131 7000. Not too useful for non-nhs peeps but I put it out there that it may help others who come by this thread.
Regards
CL
I'm NHS medic with older peoples mental health wards badly affected. Quite a few staff getting odd dreams and nightmares. I suspect it's a variant PTSD but not as obvious because content doesn't relate to accident/disaster/combat etc. What we're experiencing is prolonged exposure to death, disease and invisible but real personal risk in an environment which we are fairly familiar with. Classic PTSD is triggered by extraordinary experiences where the personal risk is obvious.
I'm sleeping quite well because I'm knackered.
Private sector (hospitals and care homes) are supporting the NHS seeing as many, if not more COVID deaths (in care homes people dying who they have known well) and staff should be entitled to same support.
Wonder if the RCN is doing anything about it?
I'm sleeping quite well because I'm knackered.
Private sector (hospitals and care homes) are supporting the NHS seeing as many, if not more COVID deaths (in care homes people dying who they have known well) and staff should be entitled to same support.
Wonder if the RCN is doing anything about it?
oddman said:
Private sector (hospitals and care homes) are supporting the NHS seeing as many, if not more COVID deaths (in care homes people dying who they have known well) and staff should be entitled to same support.
That's what I was thinking. OP - have you checked whether the free counselling/support service you mention above is restricted to NHS staff only, or whether they also offer it to staff from private hospitals who are supplementing NHS services? Whatever happens, all the best to you and your wife.
I had something similar.
The first step for me was the doctor. I then saw a psychologist; expensive but worked a bit for me. Then it was a hard slog.
She's got what I now realise was the best weapon against her problems, and that's a loving partner. You've got a trying time ahead of you. It's no good suggesting that you look at it from her point of view, because you can't. It's all twisted.
Your wife probably knows that her reaction is 'normal' in the sense that she's faced with something she can't cope with (who the hell could).
Pills worked to a limited extent, but the best was an understanding family.
If I can be of any help, please PM me. I was helped by friends and it would only be partial payback for me.
Best of luck. There's an end to it.
She'll feel guilty when she comes out of it because of the pain she'll put you through. That's takes a bit of management as well.
The first step for me was the doctor. I then saw a psychologist; expensive but worked a bit for me. Then it was a hard slog.
She's got what I now realise was the best weapon against her problems, and that's a loving partner. You've got a trying time ahead of you. It's no good suggesting that you look at it from her point of view, because you can't. It's all twisted.
Your wife probably knows that her reaction is 'normal' in the sense that she's faced with something she can't cope with (who the hell could).
Pills worked to a limited extent, but the best was an understanding family.
If I can be of any help, please PM me. I was helped by friends and it would only be partial payback for me.
Best of luck. There's an end to it.
She'll feel guilty when she comes out of it because of the pain she'll put you through. That's takes a bit of management as well.
ChocyLint1 said:
BTW for those that are in a similar position within the NHS, it offers a free and confidential councelling service for its staff on 0300 131 7000. Not too useful for non-nhs peeps but I put it out there that it may help others who come by this thread.
I feel for you and your wife and anyone else in this situation. It's such a huge departure from normal and will affect so many for so long.For anyone who does work in the Independent Sector where that IS Provider is part of the NHSE Contract one of the key elements is parity for staff. This means anyone employed by an IS Provider should absolutely have access to all the services an NHS employed member of staff would have.
Similarly, I would expect an Independent Sector Provider to have access to support programmes. The Provider I work for has it's own Employee Assistance Programme which is accessible to employees and their family members.
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