Bestman speech
Discussion
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Try this:
www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/examples/index.asp
Lots of speeches that can be bastardised and used for the event!
www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/examples/index.asp
Lots of speeches that can be bastardised and used for the event!
I've done the best man thing 5 times!
Last one was a nightmare. Didn't want to do it in all honesty but felt I had to. Spent weeks carefully crafting a speech. 2 days before the wedding the Bride (from hell) gives me a list of things that I must NOT include in the speech. Suffice it to say that all that was left to use was , Hello, Thanks and Goodbye!
When I protested she threatened to call the wedding off! (and she meant it too)
After the reception loads of people came up to me and said "hey, why so tame? why didn't you say this or that"? I just had to grin and bear it.
NEVER AGAIN
Andy 400se
Last one was a nightmare. Didn't want to do it in all honesty but felt I had to. Spent weeks carefully crafting a speech. 2 days before the wedding the Bride (from hell) gives me a list of things that I must NOT include in the speech. Suffice it to say that all that was left to use was , Hello, Thanks and Goodbye!
When I protested she threatened to call the wedding off! (and she meant it too)
After the reception loads of people came up to me and said "hey, why so tame? why didn't you say this or that"? I just had to grin and bear it.
NEVER AGAIN
Andy 400se
quote:
I've done the best man thing 5 times!
Last one was a nightmare. Didn't want to do it in all honesty but felt I had to. Spent weeks carefully crafting a speech. 2 days before the wedding the Bride (from hell) gives me a list of things that I must NOT include in the speech. Suffice it to say that all that was left to use was , Hello, Thanks and Goodbye!
When I protested she threatened to call the wedding off! (and she meant it too)
After the reception loads of people came up to me and said "hey, why so tame? why didn't you say this or that"? I just had to grin and bear it.
NEVER AGAIN
Andy 400se
But buy the time the speeches are made they would have been already married, you should have stuck to the original. My thoughs on the matter is the speech is what you have to say not for other people to tell you what or what not to talk about.
I have been a best man once and no one told me not to talk about anything and if they had I would have told them to
off. I am not a fan of marrage and it would have saved the cost of a messy divorse 
"Mungo! It's not allowed to be more than 5 minutes ... MUNGO!! I don't want you dishing any dirt on Dave .... MUNGO"
So...
Open with a very quick joke, then
"So, I have been given very strict instructions by XXX - Mungo, I don't want you dishing the dirt on Dave. Mungo, I don't want it to go on more than five minutes"
(Turn to Dave)
"Bet you've heard that a few times, Dave... And you're relieved it includes the cigarette afterwards.
"Well I'm not the one who's promised to be with you until death to us part, so I'll take as long as I like! (drawn out) Aaaanyhow...
just remember, that's the only dig you can get away with at her expense, so get your laugh in early, then be totally sweet to her from then on.
So...
Open with a very quick joke, then
"So, I have been given very strict instructions by XXX - Mungo, I don't want you dishing the dirt on Dave. Mungo, I don't want it to go on more than five minutes"
(Turn to Dave)
"Bet you've heard that a few times, Dave... And you're relieved it includes the cigarette afterwards.
"Well I'm not the one who's promised to be with you until death to us part, so I'll take as long as I like! (drawn out) Aaaanyhow...
just remember, that's the only dig you can get away with at her expense, so get your laugh in early, then be totally sweet to her from then on.
I did the best man thing for the first time a few weeks ago, and it's actually a lot easier than you think. Everyone's hammered and on your side (unless you're unlucky enough to get the bride from hell, like Andy) so they'll laugh at the crappest of jokes, and 5 mins is enough, 10 probably excessive.
Cribbing pre-written speeches is totally naff IMHO - if your mate can't talk about his own brother for 5 mins, something's wrong.
A mate of mine who's done the best man honours 4 times gave me this advice about the structure of the speech, and I can't argue with it:
1) Thank the groom for his speech and toast.
2) Build him up - great guy, known him for ages, yadda yadda.
3) Knock him down with a bit of gentle piss-taking and an anecdote or two about when he's made an arse of himself, so long as they don't involve women other than the bride, obviously...
4) Build him back up again - a couple more anecdotes needed that paint him in a better light. Do some brown-nosing about how lucky he is to have met the bride and how good they are together.
5) Propose a toast to the happy couple, then quit while you're ahead, sit down and get on with the important bits - boozing
and chatting up the bridesmaids 
Cribbing pre-written speeches is totally naff IMHO - if your mate can't talk about his own brother for 5 mins, something's wrong.
A mate of mine who's done the best man honours 4 times gave me this advice about the structure of the speech, and I can't argue with it:
1) Thank the groom for his speech and toast.
2) Build him up - great guy, known him for ages, yadda yadda.
3) Knock him down with a bit of gentle piss-taking and an anecdote or two about when he's made an arse of himself, so long as they don't involve women other than the bride, obviously...
4) Build him back up again - a couple more anecdotes needed that paint him in a better light. Do some brown-nosing about how lucky he is to have met the bride and how good they are together.
5) Propose a toast to the happy couple, then quit while you're ahead, sit down and get on with the important bits - boozing
and chatting up the bridesmaids 
There are a few pitfalls with this. If the guy has put it about a bit and you say so, the bride and her mates start sticking pins in the voodoo doll they bought the day you were asked to be best man. If you refer to his last girl as "the fit one" she is also unlikley to be impressed.(perticularly if the bride is like the back end of a cow) If you show a powerpoint presentation of the stag night including the photograph of the groom complete with silver painted bollocks tied to brighton pier, all the guests over 50 will leave. Oh and don't mention he was doubly incontinent on his stag night either. Whatever you say don't reveal his work ethic to have serious shortcomings because if his boss is there the guy will get fired.
After removing that lot if you still have a speech left your home free.
After removing that lot if you still have a speech left your home free.
My best man 6 weeks ago started with "It will come as no surprise to those that know Andy and even less of a surprise to those that know myself that we met in an Off licence....." (True)
This brought the house down and set the scene for what was a punchy but gentle and short speech. Worked well. As did the old chestnut - "Andy and Dawn are getting married for love, pure and simple. Dawn is pure and Andy is........"
There's loads of stuff to crib off the www just do a google for "marriage".
This brought the house down and set the scene for what was a punchy but gentle and short speech. Worked well. As did the old chestnut - "Andy and Dawn are getting married for love, pure and simple. Dawn is pure and Andy is........"
There's loads of stuff to crib off the www just do a google for "marriage".
Was at a wedding last weekend where i was the best man...
...love public speaking...its what i live for....all the faces looking, listening....gives me a chance to show off...i was even thinking of singing at the end...
....i didn’t take any notes in with me... completely humiliated him first....then made him sound like an angel...(knock em down and build em up)
.....as for content...i thought of all the treasured memories and embarrassed times we'd shared...
...We met like ships in the night.....
good luck
...love public speaking...its what i live for....all the faces looking, listening....gives me a chance to show off...i was even thinking of singing at the end...
....i didn’t take any notes in with me... completely humiliated him first....then made him sound like an angel...(knock em down and build em up)
.....as for content...i thought of all the treasured memories and embarrassed times we'd shared...
...We met like ships in the night.....
good luck
Did my second stint as bestman a couple of weeks ago (got a Lotus handling day for my troubles too!). It was totally different to the first one in terms of my duties and most definitely different for the speeches.
First speech was for a mate I'd shared a house with for 2 years - simple - obsessive cook, obsessive cleaner and grade A+ in drinking (apparently that would have been marked down this year to a B-).
Second speech... Groom is a) a drinker, b) a fighter c) has a record (and not in the BROS sense) d) had a bbit of a problem with Charlie and his mates. Other than that he lived like a saint (assuming Keith Moon was a saint that is...)
Managed to pull together some stff from School, the band we were both in (he was a drummer - say no more), His nerves.
Another one is to tell people to start their stop watches at the top of the speech as it has become "traditional" to run a sweepstakes on the length. (insert nob gag here mungo). I got wise to this when a complete stranger was being particulary nice to me but every other question was about the speech and wether I'd rehearsed or not.
One last one is find out what order the speeches are going to be in - they changed the running order at the last wedding i was bestman at so the Bride could have the last word! unfortunately I was just writing a few "amends" as the brides dad had covered some of my meterial earlier!
First speech was for a mate I'd shared a house with for 2 years - simple - obsessive cook, obsessive cleaner and grade A+ in drinking (apparently that would have been marked down this year to a B-).
Second speech... Groom is a) a drinker, b) a fighter c) has a record (and not in the BROS sense) d) had a bbit of a problem with Charlie and his mates. Other than that he lived like a saint (assuming Keith Moon was a saint that is...)
Managed to pull together some stff from School, the band we were both in (he was a drummer - say no more), His nerves.
Another one is to tell people to start their stop watches at the top of the speech as it has become "traditional" to run a sweepstakes on the length. (insert nob gag here mungo). I got wise to this when a complete stranger was being particulary nice to me but every other question was about the speech and wether I'd rehearsed or not.
One last one is find out what order the speeches are going to be in - they changed the running order at the last wedding i was bestman at so the Bride could have the last word! unfortunately I was just writing a few "amends" as the brides dad had covered some of my meterial earlier!
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