Touareg door electrics

[paua]

Hi , My 2012 T.reg door switches have ALL stopped working, I can't use the window controls ( all windows work from their own switch). Key fob locks only the left 2 doors, seat memory switches not working,also mirror switch. Hazard light doesn't work on right mirror.
Have wasted several hours trying to find out which fuse controls any of these, owner's manual has nothing to offer ( apart from, go to stealer) & can't find anything helpful online. Can't lock car, no hair left to pull out.
Virtual beer for any help - I'm 200 km from nearest VW dealer.
Cheers