RAGE!

[S1KRR]

Specifically of the driving variety! (Did consider making another username for this)

I've noticed over the last few months my tolerance for idiots on the roads is starting to disappear. Whether it's people texting whilst driving. Middle lane morons or people driving significantly below the speed limit. Or not moving off when lights change/gaps in traffic. Lack of making progress. People who cut you up cause they aren't paying attention, people who fk up then give you st etc etc etc All the stuff that everyone sees everyday. I don't think the world hasn't gotten worse. But my mood behind the wheel has.

My irritation is rising. At first a roll of the eyes, then add a flash of the lights, then add in a dirty look. A beep of the horn, the finger. It was clearly escalating. But hey "It's no big deal, these people are dheads" was my mindset. Even though in the non car environment I can tell you quite sensibly: They wont change they don't even consider themselves at fault. Why get yourself wound up? Better to be the bigger man ignore it, and let them get on with it. Get away from them so if they do hit anything, it's not you. ad infinitum


Twice in 2 days I've had minor irritations when driving.

First time 2nd car in a queue coming out of a side turn into an amazingly busy main road for 0645! Eventually a sensible gap appears and car in front doesn't move and we miss the chance. I've beeped them out of frustration! Occupant puts hand up to apologise (fair enough) then has a change of heart and starts with the coffee beans, and waving the Vs

Second time. Lights change. Car in front doesn't move off. Que a "wake up" beep. Car pulls away slowly (road is a NSL dual carriageway) And proceeds to go 3mph faster than car in lane 1 at (according to my dashcam) 45mph! Eventually the gap to the car in L1 is big enough and I dart up the inside of the slow moving car. (Didn't cut anyone up)

I look over and see a Mum driving the car, her teenage son in the passenger seat giving it the coffee beans and finger. Then a bald fat man (the dad I guess) leans out the left rear window of the car (up to his waist!) and is shouting "you want to fking kill yourself?...something something something"


But both times here, to my shame I have exploded! I've gone from 0-10000mph in half a second! Window down, head out, every single swear word and insult I can think of, ROARED!, at the other parties. The other parties have been utterly shocked! In both cases they've stopped any waving or confrontational bks. And natural routes have taken us in different directions so it couldn't escalate any further!

And as soon as the rage has come, it has gone and is replaced by massive shame. (both incidents are probably less than 10 seconds total) What was the point, why did I do that, what if the other person was a violent nutter, what if they call the police?



I read that rage can be the result of stress in other parts of your life. But I cant think of anything specific that's changed for the worse in the last few months even. Job is the same, (I wasn't late for anything so the couple of mins of irritation was unimportant) , Covid19 nonsense is the same for everyone, the weather has been stupid hot, but the same for everyone, even lack of a current relationship is the same. I'm not a fighter, I drink rarely, I'm not taking anything chemically that might result in this. Most people would probably say I don't take myself too seriously, can take even a harsh joke with good grace. My health is good, though I've stopped running so much as my marathon was postponed (was always a risk and I've not lost out financially)

I have no idea where this has come from. But clearly I need to deal with it pronto!

Online stuff always points to "count to 10" " make sure you get enough sleep" "allow plenty of time for your journey" but in these 2 cases it was reactionary. There was NO pause! So discount the first one, the 2nd and 3rd aren't applicable either. And of course right now, I'm not angry, just sad that I got so wound up.

Suggestions? TBH I don't care if I end up saying "What a dhead" out loud, so long as no one else hears it. I'm not expecting to become a Christian motorist (Hat tip: James May) instantly. Stuff will always grate. There will always be knobheads.

I just want to "train" myself not to aim the aggression at others. Or myself since that's an entirely different scenario I'd rather avoid

Is it a simple as avoiding eye contact with the knobs, keeping my window wound up and avoiding the news since it's all so depressing/negative?

[Leicester Loyal]

I lose it occasionally, but you reflect on it afterwards and regret it. You could end up in an argument or a fight with the wrong person, best to just let it go.

[anxious_ant]

...against the machine?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KXdU3cZbNQ

[Skyedriver]

You are Ronnie Pickering and I claim my five pounds

[CoolHands]

On behalf of all of us, let ‘em have it

[Johnnytheboy]

Where do you live?

[Pit Pony]

You need to fking chill.

[Monkeylegend]

If you give yourself a swift right hander to the bks every time you get in a rage I guarantee you will do it once and never again

[S1KRR]

You know, I posted in this forum and not the busier ones to avoid stupid responses. And get some more constructive comments




Seems I expected too much. Seems excessive anger is not a valid health issue to most.

Mods might as well lock this thread. I found another thread to read

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

[Esceptico]

A simplistic answer perhaps but I think it is Covid. I’ve noticed that over the past few months I am also suffering from rage. Not road rage but more generally I’m more short tempered than usual that spills out in obscenities. I don’t feel more stressed than normal but clearly I am. Thinking about it, it isn’t hard to understand why. I was already stressed by the move to NZ and some health issues but the uncertainty introduced by Covid (I suspect I’m going to be made redundant), worries about whether we should have moved, impact on my daughter’s education, loss of freedom to do the things that reduce my stress (including riding my motorbike). Impact on wife and daughter and increased family tension. Uncertainty about the future - particularly impact on the economy. Hardly surprising that I’m wound up more than usual.

[dandarez]

It's too bloody easy to lose your cool these days on the road. I take a deep breath and just think '1996' what IF the guy I upset is another Kenneth Noye? Nah, take another breath and 'I'm not angry, I'm calm!'

I still find it difficult with tailgaters though. WTF are you trying to see, what radio station I've got on?
I actually bought some years ago one of these message rear window things, bit like a high-level brake light but with words.
I set it to light up 'Get off my Arse!' and had some fun until I got reported by some dick and was told it was not 'gentlemanly'. Way before the 'I'm offended' brigade started up. I still have it somewhere in the garage.

My favourite line was used by my late dad (god bless him).
We (family) were all in the car (brand new Maxi) in late 1969 - they were taking me to pick my car up - and this car didn't stop on dad's right of way. Dad prevented him from going straight through and calmly singled the other driver to wind his window down.
Dad yelled at him: 'What's the fking hurry mate - your house on fire?'

My mum blushed and I laughed. First and last time I ever heard him really swear.

Edit
Doesn't help S1KRR but he's gone to the other thread.

Edited by dandarez on Saturday 15th August 00:35

[Munter]

I think the main thing is to remember most people are self-absorbed dheads. Almost everybody you meet is a total moron who we'd be better off without as a society.

Now, how do you think those people are going to drive? Set your expectations accordingly. There's no point getting angry with them. They don't have the ability to understand why.

[croyde]

Avoid anyone driving a White Goods car who thinks it's just an extension of their living room.

Thus anyone not passionate about cars and driving.

[Nurburgsingh]

Find yourself somewhere that will give you a massage with a happy ending.

All will be right in the world after that.

[Camelot1971]

S1KRR said:

You know, I posted in this forum and not the busier ones to avoid stupid responses. And get some more constructive comments




Seems I expected too much. Seems excessive anger is not a valid health issue to most.

Mods might as well lock this thread. I found another thread to read

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...

Person with anger issues gets angry when answers aren't to his liking.

[KrazyIvan]

Just keep asking yourself, does it matter and does it effect me? You'll find that the answer is no a lot l, and all you need to do is take a breath and move on.

Seriously, life's to short to get frustrated over things that really dont matter

[Smurfsarepeopletoo]

TBH, it sounds like your just unhappy and frustrated with your life in general, and you vent that frustration in a controlled environment where your unlikely to get punched in the face.

Ask yourself, was the gap really a decent gap, or was it just a gap you would have put your foot down and risked, because you drive a powerful car, and whats the real issue if someone takes a bit longer to pull away from the lights, and then doesnt get to 60 within 3 seconds, this may frustrate you, but not everyone feels the need to floor their car from the lights.

I would suggest maybe going to see someone to talk about your issues, and also buying a little 1.0 car that takes abut 12 seconds to get to 60, no more frustration with people holding you up, and no more frustration with people pulling away slow from the traffic lights, and you wont be going any faster than them.

[croyde]

To be sensible I find if I listen to Radio 3 or Classic FM, I find it hard to get wound up by other drivers.

Listen to Grime and you are feked

[drmike37]

Munter said:

I think the main thing is to remember most people are self-absorbed dheads. Almost everybody you meet is a total moron who we'd be better off without as a society.

Now, how do you think those people are going to drive? Set your expectations accordingly. There's no point getting angry with them. They don't have the ability to understand why.

It’s important to remember this. The other person is NOT thinking about you, so it can’t be personal. They are just battling against their own demons and it shows sometimes in their driving.

I make mistakes sometimes, I try to remember that when I see someone else make one!

Your reaction to it is definitely due to some sort of stress.

[996Type]

I agree with the exercise comments.

Also do not under estimate the reduction in tolerance you may experience as you mature.

I’ve seen it in a few elderly relatives (not saying you are elderly) until eventually they give up on things like driving altogether.

Flash point anger can be an issue and it would be worth investigating anger management if you are concerned about your reaction, it will help you even if you believe there is no build up to identify potential situations in advance and prepare yourself against these flash points.