Moved and now down
Discussion
I do have another account just preferred to post this anonymously.
Recently moved a couple of hundred miles after uni to get a degree related job. Working from home at first so in my flat all day with zoom meetings etc, with occasional trips to the office for.
Only a couple of close friends back home, never been much of a social person. Now I've moved here I only know one person who works a few miles away but we're not that close and I don't see anyone in work because wfh. I go home for weekends to see my limited family and friends.
Being stuck at home all day is getting me down, just generally feeling a bit crap, diet is suffering, lots of sleeping and procrastinating. Drinking most nights too which isn't great.
I've tried making things better. I've joined a couple of dating apps, nothing majorly going on there. I've joined a gym to get me out and about, and I'm going to the pub occasionally. Nice to be in an environment with other people.
Any suggestions? I don't want to give up the job and go home for obvious reasons. Do I just wait to work back in the office and hope that helps?
Recently moved a couple of hundred miles after uni to get a degree related job. Working from home at first so in my flat all day with zoom meetings etc, with occasional trips to the office for.
Only a couple of close friends back home, never been much of a social person. Now I've moved here I only know one person who works a few miles away but we're not that close and I don't see anyone in work because wfh. I go home for weekends to see my limited family and friends.
Being stuck at home all day is getting me down, just generally feeling a bit crap, diet is suffering, lots of sleeping and procrastinating. Drinking most nights too which isn't great.
I've tried making things better. I've joined a couple of dating apps, nothing majorly going on there. I've joined a gym to get me out and about, and I'm going to the pub occasionally. Nice to be in an environment with other people.
Any suggestions? I don't want to give up the job and go home for obvious reasons. Do I just wait to work back in the office and hope that helps?
No particular advice. It is difficult at any transition point in life. Uni life to work life is one of those transitions, going from people all of the same age bracket who enjoy loads of similar and different things, to potentially a new environment with people of all ages and perhaps already with social circles, young families etc.
I would look to start a team sport rather than the gym or swimming etc. Far greater, relaxed social interaction. Or maybe another hobby or club/ interest? Local hill climb club? Not sure what interests you have?
I would look to start a team sport rather than the gym or swimming etc. Far greater, relaxed social interaction. Or maybe another hobby or club/ interest? Local hill climb club? Not sure what interests you have?
The first few years are difficult after education. You don't have social life and friends presented to you.
As above, team sports. You don't necessarily have to enjoy the sport or be particularly good at it! But it will bring friends and fitness.
I restarted rowing post University. The friends I made nearly 25years ago are still amongst my best mates.
I also sail, and crew for a hot air balloon company (nice pocket money too). The best friendships are made when you have activities and goals in common.
As above, team sports. You don't necessarily have to enjoy the sport or be particularly good at it! But it will bring friends and fitness.
I restarted rowing post University. The friends I made nearly 25years ago are still amongst my best mates.
I also sail, and crew for a hot air balloon company (nice pocket money too). The best friendships are made when you have activities and goals in common.
Exercise is a great way to help with depression. Go for a walk and explore your new surroundings - that should be relatively interesting.
At the gym join classes - I moved to a new area and started going to spin classes and after a few weeks people start to say hello and you can take it from there. If you do any kind of sport like running or cycling then join clubs for that too.
I feel for you with the wfh side of things but you need to push yourself in to clubs to meet people - the topic of the club doesn't matter. You also try Meetup events where people meet in a pub (or park I guess now!) and discuss things they like - photography / french / whatever.
At the gym join classes - I moved to a new area and started going to spin classes and after a few weeks people start to say hello and you can take it from there. If you do any kind of sport like running or cycling then join clubs for that too.
I feel for you with the wfh side of things but you need to push yourself in to clubs to meet people - the topic of the club doesn't matter. You also try Meetup events where people meet in a pub (or park I guess now!) and discuss things they like - photography / french / whatever.
I was similar to you, left college at 19 and got an apprenticeship 120 miles from home. Went from going out every night with my mates to knowing nobody in an office full of mostly old people. Was a huge culture shock, I got a housemate which helped just having someone around to talk to. Met a girl eventully.. Get Tinder 
I think what you’ve described is common. My experience was similar, in my case I started cycling and met people that way. Mostly middle-aged men! So if you don’t have a keen hobby in mind, maybe think about who you’ll meet and what the social side is like before diving in.
I don’t think I’ve ever found people chatty at the gym, so wouldn’t bother with that myself. Better some kind of team or group activity where there’s time to chat/get to know people.
I have definitely found that as I get older my friends span a wide age range.
Also I have mates who are specific to certain activities, we get on fine but I probably wouldn’t see them unless it was something to do with that common bond. But occasionally (COVID excepted) there’s something social that comes from that - the annual running club BBQ or whatever where you might suddenly get to mix with a whole extra load of people.
Given you’re on PistonHeads, maybe join your local motor club and help out at some events (still possible with COVID)? You’ll definitely meet a rich mix of people.
I don’t think I’ve ever found people chatty at the gym, so wouldn’t bother with that myself. Better some kind of team or group activity where there’s time to chat/get to know people.
I have definitely found that as I get older my friends span a wide age range.
Also I have mates who are specific to certain activities, we get on fine but I probably wouldn’t see them unless it was something to do with that common bond. But occasionally (COVID excepted) there’s something social that comes from that - the annual running club BBQ or whatever where you might suddenly get to mix with a whole extra load of people.
Given you’re on PistonHeads, maybe join your local motor club and help out at some events (still possible with COVID)? You’ll definitely meet a rich mix of people.
You mention issues that are probably most relevant - consider remedying them - maybe easier said than done but will help.
• Improve your diet; eat real food and eliminate/limit rubbish.
• Quit or at least reduce drinking.
• Stop procrastinating and do something, anything. Exercise is good - doesn't have to be the gym, just walking in the fresh air (and rain) is great.
• Improve your diet; eat real food and eliminate/limit rubbish.
• Quit or at least reduce drinking.
• Stop procrastinating and do something, anything. Exercise is good - doesn't have to be the gym, just walking in the fresh air (and rain) is great.
DO you have any interests, or sports, cameras, running, cycling, badminton etc???
If so thought about joining a local club
Cycling club im involved with caters for all levels and the socializing is great, id imagine other clubs for different abilities are similar . We regularly have members joining in the same position as you OP, in that they move to the area and soon make friends int he club
If so thought about joining a local club
Cycling club im involved with caters for all levels and the socializing is great, id imagine other clubs for different abilities are similar . We regularly have members joining in the same position as you OP, in that they move to the area and soon make friends int he club
Thank you all for the replies, couldn't reply immediately due to some spam protection but I can now.
I'm glad to hear it's a common issue, it's a big change.
A lot of replies suggesting to join some sort of club, good idea and something I'd kind of disregarded due to Covid. I'm not a sporty person but I'll look into maybe a pool or snooker club, I know there's a club near me.
I'm in motorbikes but not sure there's much of a social side there, apart from MC's etc but that's not something that appeals.
I'm quite close to Mallory Park, do you think anything goes on there that would be suitable?
Decided I'm going for a walk later, actually have a look at the place I live. Thanks for the suggestions everyone
I'm glad to hear it's a common issue, it's a big change.
A lot of replies suggesting to join some sort of club, good idea and something I'd kind of disregarded due to Covid. I'm not a sporty person but I'll look into maybe a pool or snooker club, I know there's a club near me.
I'm in motorbikes but not sure there's much of a social side there, apart from MC's etc but that's not something that appeals.
I'm quite close to Mallory Park, do you think anything goes on there that would be suitable?
Decided I'm going for a walk later, actually have a look at the place I live. Thanks for the suggestions everyone
Anonpistoner said:
I do have another account just preferred to post this anonymously.
Recently moved a couple of hundred miles after uni to get a degree related job. Working from home at first so in my flat all day with zoom meetings etc, with occasional trips to the office for.
Only a couple of close friends back home, never been much of a social person. Now I've moved here I only know one person who works a few miles away but we're not that close and I don't see anyone in work because wfh. I go home for weekends to see my limited family and friends.
Being stuck at home all day is getting me down, just generally feeling a bit crap, diet is suffering, lots of sleeping and procrastinating. Drinking most nights too which isn't great.
I've tried making things better. I've joined a couple of dating apps, nothing majorly going on there. I've joined a gym to get me out and about, and I'm going to the pub occasionally. Nice to be in an environment with other people.
Any suggestions? I don't want to give up the job and go home for obvious reasons. Do I just wait to work back in the office and hope that helps?
best advice I can give you before things do back into lockdown is try and join some clubs where interaction is vital, football, tennis, cycling or squash club. going to the gym will be a struggle to get chatting to people and theres no real reason to have to communicate with someone. Recently moved a couple of hundred miles after uni to get a degree related job. Working from home at first so in my flat all day with zoom meetings etc, with occasional trips to the office for.
Only a couple of close friends back home, never been much of a social person. Now I've moved here I only know one person who works a few miles away but we're not that close and I don't see anyone in work because wfh. I go home for weekends to see my limited family and friends.
Being stuck at home all day is getting me down, just generally feeling a bit crap, diet is suffering, lots of sleeping and procrastinating. Drinking most nights too which isn't great.
I've tried making things better. I've joined a couple of dating apps, nothing majorly going on there. I've joined a gym to get me out and about, and I'm going to the pub occasionally. Nice to be in an environment with other people.
Any suggestions? I don't want to give up the job and go home for obvious reasons. Do I just wait to work back in the office and hope that helps?
I can understand why your down and first thing to tell yourself is its perfectly normal, anyone in your situation with minimal human interaction around them would be the same. could you reconnet with some old friends who no longer chat with?
How about volunteering?
Plenty of opportunities, I do forestry, but have friends (all ages and backgrounds) who do stuff from national trust (maintaining grounds, house guides etc) Canal and river trust, lock keeping and maintenance. Steam railway, maintenance and customer facing, English Heritage. Dogs trust, (great for meeting girls)
Loads of opportunities, find something that interests you and get involved.
Plenty of opportunities, I do forestry, but have friends (all ages and backgrounds) who do stuff from national trust (maintaining grounds, house guides etc) Canal and river trust, lock keeping and maintenance. Steam railway, maintenance and customer facing, English Heritage. Dogs trust, (great for meeting girls)
Loads of opportunities, find something that interests you and get involved.
Anonpistoner said:
I'm quite close to Mallory Park, do you think anything goes on there that would be suitable?
Marshalling. You could be there, dressed in bright orange. I assume they are still doing taster days during covid. Something to check out. https://www.marshals.co.uk/about-marshalling/taste...
Ok some of the characters are...well...characters. But you can volunteer at circuits all around the country.
Anonpistoner said:
Being stuck at home all day is getting me down, just generally feeling a bit crap, diet is suffering, lots of sleeping and procrastinating. Drinking most nights too which isn't great.
Seriously, don't drink on your own.I say this as a recovering alcoholic who did the same thing many many years ago.
OP I can sympathise, having retired a couple of year ago and moving home.
Have wife, child, dogs and on good chatting terms with neighbours but it's still strange not seeing folk you used to see every day and with this CV19 thing, the usual motor sport events and things I used to do like Parkrun are cancelled so there's little reason to go out except for the shopping.
Have wife, child, dogs and on good chatting terms with neighbours but it's still strange not seeing folk you used to see every day and with this CV19 thing, the usual motor sport events and things I used to do like Parkrun are cancelled so there's little reason to go out except for the shopping.
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