Useless Gardeners - Need a goat!

[kennyGti]

Ladies and Gents

Due to work commitments I have no time to cut my grass and maintain my garden. For this reason I have been paying someone to do the job, except they aren't. I'm beginning to think a goat might do a better job. I know that in the US you can hire a goat to cut the grass etc. Does anyone know of a similar service here?
Cheers
KennyGti

[RickApple]

Could you not just drive out into the countryside and nick a sheep? I'm sure it wouldnt mind if you fed it the odd carrot and took it back eventually.

[SlidingSideways]

The goat's the cheap part. It gets expwnsive concreting in a post to tether the thing to ahd the amount of chain you'll need to attach the thing.
Is it just grass you've got? If you've got any plants/shrubs/trees you're attached to, a goat probablt isn't the answer.

In Snatch, where Bricktop feeds the bloke to the pigs? He's only using pigs because the goats ate their way out of the pen!!

[groomi]

What about one of these?

www.mowbot.co.uk/

[Balmoral Green]

Astroturf the lot, then all you need to do is vacuum it from time to time. I did this to a front lawn in the eighties.

[simpo two]

I'd have a sheep. They're much fluffier, don't eat fences and when they die you can eat the sucker

[RickApple]

I sense a business oppurtunity for farmers who don't get enough from the EU - grazing herd rental!

[GetCarter]

Local farmer provides sheep to cut the grass out back here - works well.... they eat, I don't have to faff about.

[shadowninja]

Balmoral Green said:

Astroturf the lot, then all you need to do is vacuum it from time to time. I did this to a front lawn in the eighties.

Don't you feel silly vacuuming the front garden?

[Twincam16]

shadowninja said:

Balmoral Green said: Astroturf the lot, then all you need to do is vacuum it from time to time. I did this to a front lawn in the eighties. Don't you feel silly vacuuming the front garden?

Now that I have to see.

I've also got this vision of a confused BG mowing his carpets

>> Edited by Twincam16 on Sunday 26th June 13:53

[kennyGti]

SlidingSideways said:

The goat's the cheap part. It gets expwnsive concreting in a post to tether the thing to ahd the amount of chain you'll need to attach the thing. Is it just grass you've got? If you've got any plants/shrubs/trees you're attached to, a goat probablt isn't the answer. In Snatch, where Bricktop feeds the bloke to the pigs? He's only using pigs because the goats ate their way out of the pen!!

As far as I'm concerned ALL the plants are fair game for the goat. As long as it is short I'm happy. Ideally I'd concrete the whole lot and turn the garden into a storage area for quality cars (I could sorn my soon to ex 320) but it isn't a straightforward option, so a goat is the next preferable option.

[C C]

Geese is the answer. Keep the grass trimmed nice and neat. Keep unwanted guests away.
And at Christmas……

[simpo two]

shadowninja said:

Don't you feel silly vacuuming the front garden?

Only if singing 'I want to break free' and wearing women's clothes...

NB Geese are loud and shit like demons.

>> Edited by simpo two on Sunday 26th June 17:09

[tinman0]

this is one very strange thread....

[TripleS]

C C said:

Geese is the answer. Keep the grass trimmed nice and neat. Keep unwanted guests away. And at Christmas……

Apparently they also make good guard dogs, or so I heard.

Best wishes all,
Dave.

[groucho]

You need Edward Scissorhands. Should this be in one of the film threads? He was a gardener though.

[imperialism2024]

RickApple said:

Could you not just drive out into the countryside and nick a sheep? I'm sure it wouldnt mind if you fed it the odd carrot and took it back eventually.

that one had me laughing for a few minutes...