Holiday without children
Holiday without children
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Armchair Expert

Original Poster:

3,102 posts

103 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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I don't have any children sadly but I often wonder how parents go off on holiday leaving their children with grand parents or other carers.

I have a cousin who does this every year and a odd weekend too.

Neighbour is planning a three week holiday to the USA next year.

When I had a dog I would never leave her to go on holiday!

easy_rider33

155 posts

134 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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I have two kids, we leave them for a few days with grandparents and go and stay in a hotel. I personally don’t see an issue as it’s good to get away and leave it all behind so to speak. It’s good just being with SWMBO and get some quality time without constant interruption or breaking up arguments. We’ve not done weeks and wouldn’t until they can fend for themselves.

Armchair Expert

Original Poster:

3,102 posts

103 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
quotequote all
easy_rider33 said:
I have two kids, we leave them for a few days with grandparents and go and stay in a hotel. I personally don’t see an issue as it’s good to get away and leave it all behind so to speak. It’s good just being with SWMBO and get some quality time without constant interruption or breaking up arguments. We’ve not done weeks and wouldn’t until they can fend for themselves.
I can understand a couple of nights, but it kind of strikes me as very selfish to go away for long periods or often without your children.




The Moose

23,677 posts

238 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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GliderRider

2,924 posts

110 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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Its good for the children to have an opportunity to bond with their grandparents too, without either of the parties feeling they are being judged by the children's parents. Often grandchildren have only a few short years of seeing their grandparents whilst the latter have the health and mobility to enjoy activities together. Hopefully be memories the children will treasure long after the grandparents have gone.

Parents also need a breather every so often, to remind themselves that they are husband and wife, or partners; not just 'parents of'/chauffeurs/cooks/cleaners/bill payers etc. Otherwise, when the kids eventually fly the nest, they may find they are just two strangers under a common roof and either spend the rest of their lives resenting each other or get divorced.

Q. Why do grandchildren get on so well with their grandparents?

A. Because they share a common enemy.

Pothole

34,367 posts

311 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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Narcisus

9,072 posts

309 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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We usually have a weekend away every year with friends but that’s it. We have one daughter I love her to be with with us and am frankly not looking forward to the time when she doesn’t want to come any more frown

shirt

25,402 posts

230 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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Apt username for the OP

easytiger123

2,708 posts

238 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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Cuts both ways. As someone who was sent away to residential summer camps for a fortnight most years from the age of 10 to about 14, I was delighted not to be dragged on some crappy holiday with my mother and much younger brother. I used to really enjoy those camps surrounded by other kids my age.

Jamescrs

6,381 posts

94 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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Two kids aged 8 and 3 and the most we have done as a couple is a night out with kids at grandparents.
Was planning a long weekend next year as I have a big birthday but not sure how that will pan out due to Covid. Personally I wouldnt dream of taking a proper holiday without the kids, I guess its what you are used to, my parents would have never gone away without me as a kid either.

The Road Crew

4,272 posts

189 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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cml24

1,583 posts

176 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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When I was growing up me and my sister had a week away with my grandparents every year. They would rent a holiday home somewhere in the UK (usually near the sea) and we'd stay with them.

Absolutely loved it, swimming, playing in the sand, BBQs, spoilt with ice creams and chips everyday, staying up late watching films.

It was a great holiday for me and my sister, hopefully my grandparents enjoyed it, and I suspect my parents did too! So everyone ones a winner!

If the grandparents and grandchildren have such a good time, you could argue it's not fair if the parents insist on hogging their own kids the whole time!

ETA: now I have my own daughter (three) we're glad of a day or two away for a break, and now she can properly articulate herself we know she loves seeing her grandparents.

alorotom

12,782 posts

216 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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We left our daughter with grandparents and hit Vegas for a week a couple of times and also for New York for 4/5nights - when she was under 3.

Since she’s been 3 onwards (now just over 6) she always comes away with us

galtezza

441 posts

212 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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If leaving them for a while means you remain a patient loving parent then its a good thing surely?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, you’ll both appreciate each other more on returning.

We leave our dogs with carers for up to 3 weeks sometimes, when not, they have the most incredible free lives with lots of fun & love, so we dont feel guilty at all leaving them, we love the chance to bond when on holiday alone together.

Equally we love taking them away on road trips with us, i know its dogs but its the same thing, only better hehe

anonymous-user

83 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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Before I had kids I remember some wise old bloke saying it’s important to remember you were a couple before you had kids.

That’s what going away or doing things without your kids sometimes is all about.

Seems pretty important to me. Unfortunately we don’t have any grandparents near by so we don’t go away by ourselves but we’ll go out for dinner etc and do other things as a couple.

Obviously this all depends on ages of your kids and your different situations but being a couple still is very important for the parents and the success of their own relationship and thus the happiness of the family.


Magnum 475

4,155 posts

161 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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Pre-COVID and Brexit we’d always do a few days each year where the kids stay with the grand parents (my in laws as both of my parents are dead), and Mrs Magnum & I take a break and re-charge. Young kids are seriously tiring - there’s no ‘off’ switch and no volume control.

As we don’t know requirements for EU citizens to be in the UK, or for us to be in the EU following 31st December, and have no effing clue what the COVID rules will be either, we’re doing the first Christmas & New Year ever where the kids don’t get to see their grand parents.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed some time next year....

Cyder

7,186 posts

249 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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We live >200 miles from both sets of grandparents so don’t see them quite as often as we’d like to.

For us, them and the kids it works out swimmingly when me and ‘er indoors want to go away for a weekend or few days away. The kids get a break from us and a holiday of their own with the grandparents spoiling them.
We get a break to recharge our batteries, because frankly parenting and working full time is bloody exhausting. It’s win win.

For the sake of clarity, because PH often needs it, we tend to do a week or two away with the kids each year, and then a couple of city breaks just the two of us (NYC/Krakow/London and the now cancelled Vegas trip for next year).

DoubleD

22,154 posts

137 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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Spare tyre

12,558 posts

159 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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They can be hard work. Could do the parents mental health wonders

98elise

32,573 posts

190 months

Sunday 13th December 2020
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We've done a couple of long weekends away (Vegas and NY), but when they are young I wouldn't do more than that.