Things kids say

[DickyC]

"Grandad, do you like dogs?"
"Yes, I like dogs."
"Are you going to get a dog?"
"No, I don't think we'll have another dog."
"We can get a horse."

[Roofless Toothless]

My son when he was little.

ME: I thought I told you to stop picking your nose.

SON: I was putting it back.

[DickyC]

A young mum and her toddler were leaving a shop and the little lad thought some interaction with the assistant might be required.

Little lad: "Bye, man."
His mum: "That's a woman."
Little lad: "Bye, woman."

[CanAm]

Daddy, was the world black and white when you were little?

[Dr Jekyll]

I was in a cafe in Oxford and an 8 or 9 year was at the next table with what appeared to be his grandparents. The kid was clearly fascinated by the colleges and the idea of being a student to the point where a grandparent felt obliged to point out 'you have to be very very clever to get into Oxford'. The child promptly replied 'your point being?'

[Cudd Wudd]

My 5 year old comes into the kitchen and says to me:

“Can I have some milk?”

His Nan is round and calls him to one side.

Her: How do you ask properly?

Him: Can I have some milk please?

Her: Good boy. Now go and ask again:

Him to me: Can I have some milk?

Me: What’s missing?

Him: The milk.

[anonymous-user]

I was on the tube with my son when he was 3-4 years old. He asked me out loud “dad, why has that man got a brown face?” Everyone looked at me waiting to hear my reply, including the guy in question. Me - “well, it’s not a brown face it’s a black face” my son looks at him again with a confused look on his face - “dad, it’s definitely brown”

Obviously I wanted to die...

[J4CKO]

My little brother in Marks and Spencers in Stockport whilst getting my school uniform with our mum, a very large lady walks past and he goes "Mummy hasnt that lady got big boobies !", my mum looked mortified but the lady thought it was funny.

Annoying as he was 19 at the time ok perhaps nearer four.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Son, aged about 4: Dad, is 168,000 the biggest number in the world?
Me: No, what about 168,001?
Son: Oooo, I was so close.

[Register1]

Son when he was about 3 or 4.
Watching this tanker freight train rumble over the viaduct in Frodsham, Cheshire.

DAD ! There is an electric train, see the size of them batteries

[foggy]

Teams call during the first lockdown, my 7yo hears me talking and comes in to see why I’m speaking to my laptop. He sees the other people on screen and blurts out, “Whoa he’s a whopper!” referring to one of the more portly meeting attendees. I still wonder to this day whether I hit mute in time or not...

[MKM87]

Wife: "I told you not to pull the dogs face, you could really hurt her!"

3 1/2 yr old daughter: "I'm not a weirdo!"

Wife: "I have never called you that and please don't think you are one."

3 1/2 yr old daughter: "You're just, You're just a bad mum."

Me: 'Well I better leave the tranquility of the bathroom and deal with this nonsense'

[DickyC]

Sitting in the gods at Earls Court for my eldest son's first visit to the Royal Tournament. I forget how old he was; six or seven maybe. He was spellbound, absorbing everything in silence. Eventually...

"Dad."
"Mmm?"
"Are those real people?"

[Johnspex]

The Royal Tournament reminds of 60 years ago when at the RT dad hoisted me onto his shoulders to see the Quuen walk by.

'Did you see her?'
'No, I just saw an old lady'.

Well I was only about 7 but she could only have in her early thirties.
It was a story my mum often repeated.

[TwigtheWonderkid]

Around 2002, My 4 year old son, sitting on the knee of my 15 y/o niece, telling her about his Gameboy.

Her: That looks like great fun
Him: Yes, did you have one when you were little?
Her: No, they never had them when I was little.
Him: Wow, life must've been rubbish for you back in the olden days.

[BoRED S2upid]

Our 3 year old and my sister discussing Unicorns:

Sister: I love your Unicorn what’s his name

Daughter: it’s a girl

Sister: oh sorry it’s blue I thought it was a boy

Daughter : a boy unicorn is a horse

Sister firmly put in her place lol.



Son a few years ago helping me cook an aubergine:

Son- that’s a vampire fruit

Me - it’s called an aubergine

Son - it’s black if you eat that you will turn into a vampire.

[CanAm]

Many, many years ago, when he was about 3,

“Daddy, were you killed in the war?”

[Evoluzione]

Yes, twice.

[HighwayToHull]

Aged about three, I was out for a walk with my father. He always held my hand tightly.

Me: “Daddy – why do you do that?”
Him: “So that you don’t run away,”

Some days later, and out for a walk with my 11-year-old brother.

Me: “You’ve got to hold my hand.”
Him: “What for?”
Me: “So that I don’t run away.”
Him (ignoring the proffered hand): “Well run away then.”

[21st Century Man]

I took my niece to the natural history museum when she was very small. She looked Dippy up and down for some time then declared "He's got no socks on!".