Remote monitoring of kid’s phone

[oldbanger]

My 13 year old is autistic and very vulnerable at the moment .
I am in the unfortunate situation that I can’t remove or restrict her phone as she becomes violent/starts self harming if she doesn’t have it and I have been strongly advised by the professionals to let her use it as she is so strongly fixated.
Unfortunately I am not comfortable that she is using the phone safety and it’s not always possible to examine the phone directly eg when she is in hospital.
I have been looking at various monitoring apps but they have mixed reviews. Can anyone suggest anything which can be reliably used to passively log messages, calls and social media use? Preferably something that is unobtrusive

[oldbanger]

Having read various reviews I decided to try mspy. It’s recommended on various sites and supposedly will work without installing anything on her phone. I tried to install a e-learning app on her phone earlier with her consent and she started kicking off. I have no chance of installing a monitoring app.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work and their customer service suspended my account instead of refunding.

The company who processed the payment are based in the UK and were dissolved a year ago. There’s a possibility that might help me dispute the payment.

Has anyone used this app or anything similar?

[105.4]

Sorry to hear of your predicament. I’m frankly surprised that after ten days there still isn’t an answer to your question.

Sorry I can’t help more, but I’d be interested to know the answer.

[oldbanger]

Thanks. I might be after the impossible.

[page3]

What's the phone?

My (autistic) son has an iPad/iPhone/Macbook and we manage them (to a certain extent) via Screen Time as well as some level of analysis via the routers packet inspection reports. Obviously the latter only works when at home.

He does allow us access though and we are able to set ground rules, so I understand it isn't quite the same.

Would something like
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fingbox-Network-Monitorin...
or
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bitdefender-Box-Connected...

help in any way?

[CubanPete]

Google Family Link?

[CubanPete]

To add, it works on both android and apple.

[paulrockliffe]

page3 said:

Obviously the latter only works when at home.

You can sidestep this limitation by setting up a VPN on your home network and then configuring your mobile to only connect to the internet via this VPN, essentially the same way that a corporate mobile would be configured.

That way even on another wireless network or on the mobile network the device would ask your server to send the data requested and give you a backdoor into all the data coming and going from the device.

I don't know what level of information you can then get, whether you can essentially see pictures sent by Snap chat etc, or whether you'd just know it's being used, but it's a start at least and it then gives you options to restrict use to some extent.

[Bearings]

https://www.qustodio.com/en/ might be worth a punt if you can access to the device to get the app installed / logged in?
Looks like it should work on smart devices?

May want to try on your own device first so you're familiar with what it does / how it works?

[eps]

CubanPete said:

Google Family Link?

This. It works across Android phones and iPhones.

[oldbanger]

Thanks for the suggestions. I already use the screen time function on iPhone to monitor general usage and can use it to restrict if needs be. Actually I can even wipe her phone remotely because her icloud account is linked to mine.

But I can’t monitor content via the wifi protectors or family link as far as I can see. Having smashed the last 2 phones she bought her current phone herself (money from grandad) and it’s very difficult to get physical access.

Over the last few months she had given her bank card details to friends (which saw it emptied just before Christmas as it was registered so someone’s ps2 account - I have spoken to the parents but they don’t feel that it should be paid back and can’t even stop him trying to contact her it seems). And that’s probably the least bad thing that could happen

[eps]

That's terrible and another issue. It speaks volumes about the other child's parents as well...

I can't really help in your particular situation - all I know is that our eldest is fairly savvy but fairly well behaved. Our youngest isn't too tech savvy but wayward!!

I think Family Link - https://families.google.com/familylink/ is the best free option, but you may well require something else in addition to that.

Any chance of imposing limits or talking to the bank about imposing spending limits or blocking some payment avenues / vulnerable account holder? New card, so new CVV?

[anonymous-user]

oldbanger said:

Over the last few months she had given her bank card details to friends (which saw it emptied just before Christmas as it was registered so someone’s ps2 account - I have spoken to the parents but they don’t feel that it should be paid back and can’t even stop him trying to contact her it seems). And that’s probably the least bad thing that could happen

That's disgraceful. Some people really are scumbags. Back on topic though, do any of the autism charities/support networks not have any recommendations? This can't be the first time this question has been asked.

[breamster]

Bearings said:

https://www.qustodio.com/en/ might be worth a punt if you can access to the device to get the app installed / logged in?
Looks like it should work on smart devices?

May want to try on your own device first so you're familiar with what it does / how it works?

+1

Google family is ok for restricting access but not great for monitoring. Qustodio is worth a look.

[oldbanger]

I am not going to get access to her phone. Wire Shark looks a fairly reasonable alternative solution as she mostly sits in her room connected to wifi

Is there an idiot’s guide to getting it set up, however?