Today my child...
Discussion
Today my 3 year old son has had a trip to hospital for putting Lego up his nose. Last month it was a sunflower seed. I've just come off the phone to a client who found their delightful toddler painting the walls with the contents of a nappy so it's not just me today.
I've no doubt he'll provide many more entertaining adventures for us over the years... Anyone else's offspring on form today? And if they're grown up and have flown the nest, what trials and tribulations did yours put you through?
I've no doubt he'll provide many more entertaining adventures for us over the years... Anyone else's offspring on form today? And if they're grown up and have flown the nest, what trials and tribulations did yours put you through?
Where to begin.
My daughter when she was around 4 or so wrote the alphabet (Caps and lower case) in perfect handwriting.... using permanent marker on a freshly wallpapered wall.
I used to collect 'cheaper' 1:18 die-cast model cars but take them apart and paint them to improve their appearance. Was rather skilled at this and all were kept in a securely fastened display cabinet - until my son worked out how to un-secure said cabinet adding my pride and joys to his destruction derby collection.
My daughter when she was around 4 or so wrote the alphabet (Caps and lower case) in perfect handwriting.... using permanent marker on a freshly wallpapered wall.
I used to collect 'cheaper' 1:18 die-cast model cars but take them apart and paint them to improve their appearance. Was rather skilled at this and all were kept in a securely fastened display cabinet - until my son worked out how to un-secure said cabinet adding my pride and joys to his destruction derby collection.
StevieBee said:
Where to begin.
My daughter when she was around 4 or so wrote the alphabet (Caps and lower case) in perfect handwriting.... using permanent marker on a freshly wallpapered wall.
I used to collect 'cheaper' 1:18 die-cast model cars but take them apart and paint them to improve their appearance. Was rather skilled at this and all were kept in a securely fastened display cabinet - until my son worked out how to un-secure said cabinet adding my pride and joys to his destruction derby collection.
Well at least you get the fun of painting them again My daughter when she was around 4 or so wrote the alphabet (Caps and lower case) in perfect handwriting.... using permanent marker on a freshly wallpapered wall.
I used to collect 'cheaper' 1:18 die-cast model cars but take them apart and paint them to improve their appearance. Was rather skilled at this and all were kept in a securely fastened display cabinet - until my son worked out how to un-secure said cabinet adding my pride and joys to his destruction derby collection.
My six year old, on one of our last day trips before lockdown 1.
Happily riding his bike in a local park, forgot the brake lever and stopped from some speed by crashing into a tree. Flew forward off the saddle, crushed his nads on the upright that carries the handlebar assembly.
A&E consultant assured us that he should be able to have children when he grows up.
Happily riding his bike in a local park, forgot the brake lever and stopped from some speed by crashing into a tree. Flew forward off the saddle, crushed his nads on the upright that carries the handlebar assembly.
A&E consultant assured us that he should be able to have children when he grows up.
105.4 said:
My daughter, when younger has
Urinated in my nose
Vomited in my ear
Poo’d in my mouth
That was about the worst of it thankfully.
I'm sorry, how?Urinated in my nose
Vomited in my ear
Poo’d in my mouth
That was about the worst of it thankfully.
Especially the poo in mouth!
I feel quite lucky, the worst we've had from our 3 n half year old is some doodles on the back of the old sofa.
Im just having massive strops over potty training at the moment, he just won't have any of it.
My lad is 2 and a half, he's pretty good usually but is going through a bit of a 'bash' phase. I.E. Pick something up (anything) and bash whatever is nearest. Bash, bash, bash. Which is a touch annoying having moved into a brand spanking new house a matter of weeks ago.
When he's tired (overtired!) he also turns completely delirious, absolutely bonkers, it's kind of funny even though we feel pretty guilty about finding it so!
When he's tired (overtired!) he also turns completely delirious, absolutely bonkers, it's kind of funny even though we feel pretty guilty about finding it so!
When he was little, we caught our lad putting a pea up his nose whilst we were out at dinner on holiday.
We spoke to 111 who said he needed to be seen. So a trip up the local hospital where they tried sucking it out, and then got me to try blowing it out.
None of this worked, and it turns out of left up there, they could rot and cause an infection.
Once back home he had to be booked in with ENT to be knocked out to have it removed.
They pulled 3 out in the end (but didn’t knock him out, 3 of us pinned him down perfectly still whilst they shoved a hook up there).
He was 2 at the time, little sod!
We spoke to 111 who said he needed to be seen. So a trip up the local hospital where they tried sucking it out, and then got me to try blowing it out.
None of this worked, and it turns out of left up there, they could rot and cause an infection.
Once back home he had to be booked in with ENT to be knocked out to have it removed.
They pulled 3 out in the end (but didn’t knock him out, 3 of us pinned him down perfectly still whilst they shoved a hook up there).
He was 2 at the time, little sod!
I once left a newly open box of mansize Kleenex tissues on the sofa, and was distracted by my phone ringing in the kitchen. Took the call in the kitchen, and approx 15mins later came back to the front room to see an empty box of tissue with the contents ripped into thousand pieces covering the floor, and two mischievous daughters hiding behind the curtain!
Also, my girls has a daily routine to scare me every morning. Once they hear me getting up in the morning, the eldest round up her younger sister to wait at the child gate, and then shout loudly "BOOO" when I appear at the bottom of the staircase. Of course, I have to act shocked and scared The two little monsters turn away giggling and return to their toys/games/puzzles.
Also, my girls has a daily routine to scare me every morning. Once they hear me getting up in the morning, the eldest round up her younger sister to wait at the child gate, and then shout loudly "BOOO" when I appear at the bottom of the staircase. Of course, I have to act shocked and scared
The two little monsters turn away giggling and return to their toys/games/puzzles.Not today but my lad who must have been 3-4 was walking around Tescos with when we saw a dwarf pushing a trolley along side her family, now we had seen a different dwarf in another Tesco earlier in the week, he was doing the thing that all kids do, the pulling of the coat to get your attention etc, that didn't work so he said "quietly" dad dad dad is there a circus in town, it wasn't quietly at all as she looked round as well as her husband and most of the isle that we were in, if looks could kill. I thought about apologising but was still being stared down, I just scooped him up and walked away.
My son, today, looked at my year end accounts, and suggested, that I'm either disorganised, or a criminal.
I pointed out my accountant is happy with my book keeping..
He suggested my accountant, has a big disclaimer in my contract with him, that gives him.a get put of jail free card.
He's a trainee Auditor, for one of the big 4....
I've told him, he can service his own car in future...
Daughter came home for a few days becuase my wife's mother died. Made the biggest cake I've ever seen in real life. Then declared that I couldn't have any, because it's unhealthy. And I need to look after myself. Great provide the temptation and have a go when I succumb to it.
I pointed out my accountant is happy with my book keeping..
He suggested my accountant, has a big disclaimer in my contract with him, that gives him.a get put of jail free card.
He's a trainee Auditor, for one of the big 4....
I've told him, he can service his own car in future...
Daughter came home for a few days becuase my wife's mother died. Made the biggest cake I've ever seen in real life. Then declared that I couldn't have any, because it's unhealthy. And I need to look after myself. Great provide the temptation and have a go when I succumb to it.
I have two girls 3 and 7 plus a little boy due in a couple of weeks. To say that both my girls have made me laugh more than anyone in my entire life would be an understatement. Their minds and imagination are hilarious.
Just the other day, me and my other half were sitting at the dining table having lunch. My youngest walks in to see us eating and goes, 'Oh look two little piggies'. Then just walks out. Yeah thanks kid!
One of my proudest moments was my eldest in school being asked to spell words with the letter R in it. Teacher asks if they can give word suggestions then if they can spell it it gets put up on the wall. My eldest proudly announces the word fart, which she proceeds to spell correctly and the teacher putting it on the wall as promised.
Just the other day, me and my other half were sitting at the dining table having lunch. My youngest walks in to see us eating and goes, 'Oh look two little piggies'. Then just walks out. Yeah thanks kid!
One of my proudest moments was my eldest in school being asked to spell words with the letter R in it. Teacher asks if they can give word suggestions then if they can spell it it gets put up on the wall. My eldest proudly announces the word fart, which she proceeds to spell correctly and the teacher putting it on the wall as promised.
105.4 said:
Poo’d in my mouth
I got very close to this happening when our daughter was a baby. Wiping her arse (legs in the air) and it turns out she's not done. The korma sauce comes flying and I end up with a s
t bandolier across me from hip to opposite shoulder. A few inches to the right and I'd have gotten a taste. A valuable lesson was learned about minimising nappy off time during changes!Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff