Phantom Seat ****er
Discussion
I work in quite a nice, professional office building. There are a few financial companies and shipping companies on our floor. Everyone suited and booted, and masked, obvs. There are a lot of foreign people, mostly of the Russian persuasion, and some Arabs.
The toilets are quite well appointed, as you would expect. Wood paneling, nice soap, quality paper towels, that sort of thing. Of late I have taken to letting the gerbils out for a swim of a morning, a little before lunchtime, and normally choose trap one as then there is less chance of hearing someone squeak one out at uncomfortably close quarters.
All was well and I had a little routine going. Then one day, as I made myself comfortable and checked my phone hadn't pocket video-called anyone (always a concern in these situations) I felt a strange wetness under my thighs. I thought the cleaner might not have dried off the seat properly after cleaning it and thought nothing of it.
A couple of days later, in the same trap, I undid my trousers and lowered myself into a s
tting position. Just before I made contact with the seat, that was in the down position, I glanced down between my legs and WHAT THE fk? The seat was covered in drops of yellow liquid that was unmistakably PISS. Not just a random drop from a careless willy shake, but huge great puddles of it. At this stage I was committed to sitting, beyond the balance point where I could just stand up again, but I managed to lurch to one side, avoiding the PISS but almost ending up wedged into the gap between the bowl and the cubicle wall.
What dirty bd does something like that?
A few days later, again, I noticed the seat, in the down position, had again been liberally hosed down with PISS.
Some dirty fking bd must be going in there, deciding that he is too good for the urinals, and hosing down the toilet seat. No piss on the floor, just on the toilet seat. Not small accidental droplets, but deliberate puddles with some depth to them. Obviously no attempt made to lift the seat to piss into the bowl like a normal human.
Who does something like that and what can be done about it?
The toilets are quite well appointed, as you would expect. Wood paneling, nice soap, quality paper towels, that sort of thing. Of late I have taken to letting the gerbils out for a swim of a morning, a little before lunchtime, and normally choose trap one as then there is less chance of hearing someone squeak one out at uncomfortably close quarters.
All was well and I had a little routine going. Then one day, as I made myself comfortable and checked my phone hadn't pocket video-called anyone (always a concern in these situations) I felt a strange wetness under my thighs. I thought the cleaner might not have dried off the seat properly after cleaning it and thought nothing of it.
A couple of days later, in the same trap, I undid my trousers and lowered myself into a s
tting position. Just before I made contact with the seat, that was in the down position, I glanced down between my legs and WHAT THE fk? The seat was covered in drops of yellow liquid that was unmistakably PISS. Not just a random drop from a careless willy shake, but huge great puddles of it. At this stage I was committed to sitting, beyond the balance point where I could just stand up again, but I managed to lurch to one side, avoiding the PISS but almost ending up wedged into the gap between the bowl and the cubicle wall.What dirty b
d does something like that? A few days later, again, I noticed the seat, in the down position, had again been liberally hosed down with PISS.
Some dirty f
king bd must be going in there, deciding that he is too good for the urinals, and hosing down the toilet seat. No piss on the floor, just on the toilet seat. Not small accidental droplets, but deliberate puddles with some depth to them. Obviously no attempt made to lift the seat to piss into the bowl like a normal human.Who does something like that and what can be done about it?
Ayahuasca said:
I work in quite a nice, professional office building. There are a few financial companies and shipping companies on our floor. Everyone suited and booted, and masked, obvs. There are a lot of foreign people, mostly of the Russian persuasion, and some Arabs.
The toilets are quite well appointed, as you would expect. Wood paneling, nice soap, quality paper towels, that sort of thing. Of late I have taken to letting the gerbils out for a swim of a morning, a little before lunchtime, and normally choose trap one as then there is less chance of hearing someone squeak one out at uncomfortably close quarters.
All was well and I had a little routine going. Then one day, as I made myself comfortable and checked my phone hadn't pocket video-called anyone (always a concern in these situations) I felt a strange wetness under my thighs. I thought the cleaner might not have dried off the seat properly after cleaning it and thought nothing of it.
A couple of days later, in the same trap, I undid my trousers and lowered myself into a stting position. Just before I made contact with the seat, that was in the down position, I glanced down between my legs and WHAT THE fk? The seat was covered in drops of yellow liquid that was unmistakably PISS. Not just a random drop from a careless willy shake, but huge great puddles of it. At this stage I was committed to sitting, beyond the balance point where I could just stand up again, but I managed to lurch to one side, avoiding the PISS but almost ending up wedged into the gap between the bowl and the cubicle wall.
What dirty bd does something like that?
A few days later, again, I noticed the seat, in the down position, had again been liberally hosed down with PISS.
Some dirty fking bd must be going in there, deciding that he is too good for the urinals, and hosing down the toilet seat. No piss on the floor, just on the toilet seat. Not small accidental droplets, but deliberate puddles with some depth to them. Obviously no attempt made to lift the seat to piss into the bowl like a normal human.
Who does something like that and what can be done about it?
CS, BThe toilets are quite well appointed, as you would expect. Wood paneling, nice soap, quality paper towels, that sort of thing. Of late I have taken to letting the gerbils out for a swim of a morning, a little before lunchtime, and normally choose trap one as then there is less chance of hearing someone squeak one out at uncomfortably close quarters.
All was well and I had a little routine going. Then one day, as I made myself comfortable and checked my phone hadn't pocket video-called anyone (always a concern in these situations) I felt a strange wetness under my thighs. I thought the cleaner might not have dried off the seat properly after cleaning it and thought nothing of it.
A couple of days later, in the same trap, I undid my trousers and lowered myself into a s
tting position. Just before I made contact with the seat, that was in the down position, I glanced down between my legs and WHAT THE fk? The seat was covered in drops of yellow liquid that was unmistakably PISS. Not just a random drop from a careless willy shake, but huge great puddles of it. At this stage I was committed to sitting, beyond the balance point where I could just stand up again, but I managed to lurch to one side, avoiding the PISS but almost ending up wedged into the gap between the bowl and the cubicle wall.What dirty b
d does something like that? A few days later, again, I noticed the seat, in the down position, had again been liberally hosed down with PISS.
Some dirty f
king bd must be going in there, deciding that he is too good for the urinals, and hosing down the toilet seat. No piss on the floor, just on the toilet seat. Not small accidental droplets, but deliberate puddles with some depth to them. Obviously no attempt made to lift the seat to piss into the bowl like a normal human.Who does something like that and what can be done about it?
Ayahuasca said:
I work in quite a nice, professional office building. There are a few financial companies and shipping companies on our floor. Everyone suited and booted, and masked, obvs. There are a lot of foreign people, mostly of the Russian persuasion, and some Arabs.
The toilets are quite well appointed, as you would expect. Wood paneling, nice soap, quality paper towels, that sort of thing. Of late I have taken to letting the gerbils out for a swim of a morning, a little before lunchtime, and normally choose trap one as then there is less chance of hearing someone squeak one out at uncomfortably close quarters.
All was well and I had a little routine going. Then one day, as I made myself comfortable and checked my phone hadn't pocket video-called anyone (always a concern in these situations) I felt a strange wetness under my thighs. I thought the cleaner might not have dried off the seat properly after cleaning it and thought nothing of it.
A couple of days later, in the same trap, I undid my trousers and lowered myself into a stting position. Just before I made contact with the seat, that was in the down position, I glanced down between my legs and WHAT THE fk? The seat was covered in drops of yellow liquid that was unmistakably PISS. Not just a random drop from a careless willy shake, but huge great puddles of it. At this stage I was committed to sitting, beyond the balance point where I could just stand up again, but I managed to lurch to one side, avoiding the PISS but almost ending up wedged into the gap between the bowl and the cubicle wall.
What dirty bd does something like that?
A few days later, again, I noticed the seat, in the down position, had again been liberally hosed down with PISS.
Some dirty fking bd must be going in there, deciding that he is too good for the urinals, and hosing down the toilet seat. No piss on the floor, just on the toilet seat. Not small accidental droplets, but deliberate puddles with some depth to them. Obviously no attempt made to lift the seat to piss into the bowl like a normal human.
Who does something like that and what can be done about it?
And if you borrow my hole punch again, you'll get worse! The toilets are quite well appointed, as you would expect. Wood paneling, nice soap, quality paper towels, that sort of thing. Of late I have taken to letting the gerbils out for a swim of a morning, a little before lunchtime, and normally choose trap one as then there is less chance of hearing someone squeak one out at uncomfortably close quarters.
All was well and I had a little routine going. Then one day, as I made myself comfortable and checked my phone hadn't pocket video-called anyone (always a concern in these situations) I felt a strange wetness under my thighs. I thought the cleaner might not have dried off the seat properly after cleaning it and thought nothing of it.
A couple of days later, in the same trap, I undid my trousers and lowered myself into a s
tting position. Just before I made contact with the seat, that was in the down position, I glanced down between my legs and WHAT THE fk? The seat was covered in drops of yellow liquid that was unmistakably PISS. Not just a random drop from a careless willy shake, but huge great puddles of it. At this stage I was committed to sitting, beyond the balance point where I could just stand up again, but I managed to lurch to one side, avoiding the PISS but almost ending up wedged into the gap between the bowl and the cubicle wall.What dirty b
d does something like that? A few days later, again, I noticed the seat, in the down position, had again been liberally hosed down with PISS.
Some dirty f
king bd must be going in there, deciding that he is too good for the urinals, and hosing down the toilet seat. No piss on the floor, just on the toilet seat. Not small accidental droplets, but deliberate puddles with some depth to them. Obviously no attempt made to lift the seat to piss into the bowl like a normal human.Who does something like that and what can be done about it?
It does make me wonder what their own homes are like.
I've had, in the past, quite well to do people in my taxi saying that chucking up isn't such a big deal 'it's only a cab'. But would they get into a car that someone had just offloaded five pints of Carling and a kebab? And I bet they'd be incandescent if the cab was late because it had to be cleaned first. Or my coup de grace was "if it's not such a big deal, would you like me to come around to your house and have a particularly greasy dump on your sofa?'
Generally, there is no respect for other people's property or things any more.
I've had, in the past, quite well to do people in my taxi saying that chucking up isn't such a big deal 'it's only a cab'. But would they get into a car that someone had just offloaded five pints of Carling and a kebab? And I bet they'd be incandescent if the cab was late because it had to be cleaned first. Or my coup de grace was "if it's not such a big deal, would you like me to come around to your house and have a particularly greasy dump on your sofa?'
Generally, there is no respect for other people's property or things any more.
matchmaker said:
hotchy said:
Cant say I have ever sat on a public toilet without checking first let alone covering it in tissue first...
^^^This!
With a teenager in our house, it is prudent to check even your own toilet seat before sitting.
I usually wipe a public toilet seat with TP, flush, then use TP to form a gasket between seat and my buns.
More TP placed in bowl to avoid the audible splash and a wet undercarriage.
And then more TP for anything I touch.... flush handle, cubicle door handle etc.
I hate using any other toilet apart form my own at home. Thankfully I have a very regular constitution and rarely need to go elsewhere. .
Tyre Smoke said:
It does make me wonder what their own homes are like.
I've had, in the past, quite well to do people in my taxi saying that chucking up isn't such a big deal 'it's only a cab'. But would they get into a car that someone had just offloaded five pints of Carling and a kebab? And I bet they'd be incandescent if the cab was late because it had to be cleaned first. Or my coup de grace was "if it's not such a big deal, would you like me to come around to your house and have a particularly greasy dump on your sofa?'
Generally, there is no respect for other people's property or things any more.
Been in 1000's of houses through work; until you're inside, there's no way of telling what it's going to be like. That is regardless of income.I've had, in the past, quite well to do people in my taxi saying that chucking up isn't such a big deal 'it's only a cab'. But would they get into a car that someone had just offloaded five pints of Carling and a kebab? And I bet they'd be incandescent if the cab was late because it had to be cleaned first. Or my coup de grace was "if it's not such a big deal, would you like me to come around to your house and have a particularly greasy dump on your sofa?'
Generally, there is no respect for other people's property or things any more.
I know the household names/millionaires/MPs that don't clean their bathroom. Some are proper minging, as is the rest of the house.
Cleanest houses I've seen have been housing association.
its the middle east, always check before you sit. i only ever go to the mall toilets where the really high end shops are, for example.
we did have an issue a few years back with a phantom wker at work. super shiny floors, now and then you'd be sat dropping a log and notice a shadow moving rapidly in the trap next door. a mate brought this up in conversation at lunch and it turned out a few of us [myself included] had noticed it several times and concluded it was definitely someone rubbing one out, but didn't know what to say or do.
cue a book being run on who it was, one of those in the know whatsapping us the next time he spotted it, and a welcome party being convened outside the gents for when our phantom wker revealed himself. our MD had to interview the chap who strongly denied it all naturally, but handed in his notice a couple of weeks later.
we did have an issue a few years back with a phantom w
ker at work. super shiny floors, now and then you'd be sat dropping a log and notice a shadow moving rapidly in the trap next door. a mate brought this up in conversation at lunch and it turned out a few of us [myself included] had noticed it several times and concluded it was definitely someone rubbing one out, but didn't know what to say or do.cue a book being run on who it was, one of those in the know whatsapping us the next time he spotted it, and a welcome party being convened outside the gents for when our phantom w
ker revealed himself. our MD had to interview the chap who strongly denied it all naturally, but handed in his notice a couple of weeks later. This is easy.
First of all, find out between which periods the culprit does this heinous crime, If dry at 9 and wet at 1 you have a 4 hour window, this can of course be done again in the afternoon. You have narrowed it down to a 4 hour period.
Then split the 4 hours into 2, 2 hour sections. once again, checking if the crime has been committed. You have now narrowed it down to a 2 hour period.
At that point its rise and repeat down to an hour and then take a late/early lunch in cubicle 2.
Catch them in the act. Don't say anything, just walk out of the cubicles at the same time. As you are leaving turn and say (within earshot of the culprit) "I actually need a piss" and proceed to go into cubicle 1 while he washes his hands.
He will then know, you know its him. make comment about how its disgusting, he'll say it was there before him and have no choice but to not do it again.
Everyone is a winner.
First of all, find out between which periods the culprit does this heinous crime, If dry at 9 and wet at 1 you have a 4 hour window, this can of course be done again in the afternoon. You have narrowed it down to a 4 hour period.
Then split the 4 hours into 2, 2 hour sections. once again, checking if the crime has been committed. You have now narrowed it down to a 2 hour period.
At that point its rise and repeat down to an hour and then take a late/early lunch in cubicle 2.
Catch them in the act. Don't say anything, just walk out of the cubicles at the same time. As you are leaving turn and say (within earshot of the culprit) "I actually need a piss" and proceed to go into cubicle 1 while he washes his hands.
He will then know, you know its him. make comment about how its disgusting, he'll say it was there before him and have no choice but to not do it again.
Everyone is a winner.
Happens every where.
My wife works at hmrc. They had someone pooing in the lifts. This is behind security coded doors
I was in Harrods once ( check me out)
Stood in a long queue in the gents for a urinal or cubicle.
An Arab bloke walked in, in the full traditional and expensive looking dress
Looked at the queue, got his cock out and just pissed on the floor by the sinks.
Seemingly couldn’t hear any of us going “ wtf” mate.
My wife works at hmrc. They had someone pooing in the lifts. This is behind security coded doors
I was in Harrods once ( check me out)
Stood in a long queue in the gents for a urinal or cubicle.
An Arab bloke walked in, in the full traditional and expensive looking dress
Looked at the queue, got his cock out and just pissed on the floor by the sinks.
Seemingly couldn’t hear any of us going “ wtf” mate.
My office is a lot less fancy than yours, there’s 6 of us (pre covid) and 3 now in the office, the other 3 WFH, we all share the same toilet.
We had someone come for a trial shift, he was a bit rubbish really. He went to the toilet, and I went for a wee 10 minutes later, seat was covered in piss. He hadn’t lifted it to have a wee and didn’t clear his mess up.
I didn’t appreciate having to wipe another man’s piss, he didn’t get the job! I didn’t want to embarrass him by telling him he’d left a mess, but I wish I had now.
He was mid 30s too, I’d expect it from a 12 year old.
We had someone come for a trial shift, he was a bit rubbish really. He went to the toilet, and I went for a wee 10 minutes later, seat was covered in piss. He hadn’t lifted it to have a wee and didn’t clear his mess up.
I didn’t appreciate having to wipe another man’s piss, he didn’t get the job! I didn’t want to embarrass him by telling him he’d left a mess, but I wish I had now.
He was mid 30s too, I’d expect it from a 12 year old.
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