rumble in the jungle

[c6r]

Apparently 1 in 5 men in the US think they could beat a chimp in a fight, and 1 in 10 fancy their chances against a crocodile

https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles...

So powerfully built company directors of PH, could you beat an eagle or a cobra?

[Scrump]

I once lost a fight with a squirrel.
In my defence it was a grey squirrel and not the smaller red squirrel.

[crispian22]

I once knew a boy who could beat a shark at swimming.

[Avenicus]

I struggle to find the end of the sellotape

[popegregory]

crispian22 said:

I once knew a boy who could beat a shark at swimming.

Patterson? Used all the penicillin?

[anonymous-user]

I would quite happily spend very good money indeed to see an American try to beat a Chimp in a fight or a Crocodile one on one. Am i allowed to sell these events online so the masses around the world can also watch?

[Avenicus]

slopes said:

I would quite happily spend very good money indeed to see an American try to beat a Chimp in a fight or a Crocodile one on one. Am i allowed to sell these events online so the masses around the world can also watch?

I'm in

[GAjon]

I took up that cage fighting,
Them budgies don’t stand a chance.

[red_slr]

c6r said:

Apparently 1 in 5 men in the US think they could beat a chimp in a fight,

Have they not watched planet of the apes?!?

[J4CKO]

What they actually said was they could spank the monkey...

A very strong, highly trained fighter might get a lucky dig or two in but Chimps are a force of nature, they are much stronger than humans, not several times stronger but weight for weight they outperform us quite comprehensively. Mike Tyson in his prime might have a chance or the best MMA fighters but unlikely, normal couch potato, you are going to be beaten to death with your own arm.

Plus they have massive teeth.

[eyebeebe]

J4CKO said:

Plus they have massive teeth.

You mean they may not have heard of the Queensbury rules?

[J4CKO]

eyebeebe said:

J4CKO said:

Plus they have massive teeth.

You mean they may not have heard of the Queensbury rules?

I would use my superior (marginally) brain power and would distract them with a nice brew, or mention I have a piano that needs moving.

Maybe just point at an audience they can fling turds or wk at ?

[General Price]

crispian22 said:

I once knew a boy who could beat a shark at swimming.

I strangled a shark with an eel.

[finlo]

J4CKO said:

What they actually said was they could spank the monkey...

A very strong, highly trained fighter might get a lucky dig or two in but Chimps are a force of nature, they are much stronger than humans, not several times stronger but weight for weight they outperform us quite comprehensively. Mike Tyson in his prime might have a chance or the best MMA fighters but unlikely, normal couch potato, you are going to be beaten to death with your own arm.

Plus they have massive teeth.

Like that woman who's new hairstyle meant the chimp didn't recognize her so ripped her arms off and beat her with them then ripped her face off for good measure!

[trickywoo]

A chokehold would be your best option on a chimp but getting behind it wouldn’t be easy.

[J4CKO]

finlo said:

J4CKO said:

What they actually said was they could spank the monkey...

A very strong, highly trained fighter might get a lucky dig or two in but Chimps are a force of nature, they are much stronger than humans, not several times stronger but weight for weight they outperform us quite comprehensively. Mike Tyson in his prime might have a chance or the best MMA fighters but unlikely, normal couch potato, you are going to be beaten to death with your own arm.

Plus they have massive teeth.

Like that woman who's new hairstyle meant the chimp didn't recognize her so ripped her arms off and beat her with them then ripped her face off for good measure!

Will mention this to my wife when she complains I haven't noticed she has had her hair done

[Gameface]

I fk up honey badgers for fun!

[c6r]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

I would guess the ones who thought they could beat one don't consider themselves 'average'. I reckon a top level MMA fighter or similar would have a chance of maybe inflicting a bit of pain on one before being killed, but I agree 9 times out of 10 the chimp would win in seconds.

[anonymous-user]

finlo said:

J4CKO said:

What they actually said was they could spank the monkey...

A very strong, highly trained fighter might get a lucky dig or two in but Chimps are a force of nature, they are much stronger than humans, not several times stronger but weight for weight they outperform us quite comprehensively. Mike Tyson in his prime might have a chance or the best MMA fighters but unlikely, normal couch potato, you are going to be beaten to death with your own arm.

Plus they have massive teeth.

Like that woman who's new hairstyle meant the chimp didn't recognize her so ripped her arms off and beat her with them then ripped her face off for good measure!

Did that actually happen?

[c6r]

Avenicus said:

slopes said:

I would quite happily spend very good money indeed to see an American try to beat a Chimp in a fight or a Crocodile one on one. Am i allowed to sell these events online so the masses around the world can also watch?

I'm in

Business opportunity there. Just roman gladiator fights for the modern age. They had lions and bears I think, maybe not chimps?