Overly complex descriptions of simple things

[StevieBee]

Professional enquiry (writing a report and need to demonstrate the absurdity of overly abstract descriptions of simple things) but might be fun too.

Example of what I'm after is:

Transparent partition maintenance engineers

(Window Cleaners)

Any others?

Actual, real example would be good but creative applications accepted!

[bigandclever]

Big picture of Russell Brand ought to do it.

[BabySharkDooDooDooDooDooDoo]

Overly complex descriptions of simple things is how the education system thrives.

Something as simple as boiling an egg or using a can opener suddenly becomes an NVQ level 5 diploma.

[so called]

Plane Crashes

Video on The Lounge, Official Youtube thread -

Newspaper article title -
PIPER 737 TURBOJET CRASHES INTO PRIVATE ISLAND WORTH $400M NARROWLY MISSING SCHOOL FOR ORPHANS DUE TO HEROIC EFFORTS OF THE DRIVER

[Huff]

One spotted on a subcontractors drawings in for review... 'canister-applied insulation'

Ah yes; so you mean 'squirty foam' , that most high-tech fix for rampant imprecision...

[Dr Jekyll]

The physicist Dick Feynman once described a discussion with NASA engineers about an issue they were having with what they called 'a pressure induced oscillatory vortex'. 'You mean a whistle?'. 'It does exhibit the characteristics of a whistle.'

[Roofless Toothless]

I was once watching an Olympics gymnastics event. A young lady was spinning round and round on a high bar and attempted to dismount from the apparatus with a somersault. Unfortunately, she got it all wrong and landed heavily on her rear.

The commentator’s words were, “I think her sense of spatial awareness let her down there.”

No, I thought, she fell on her arse.

[Johnnytheboy]

Didn't the USAF once refer to plane crashes as Ground Air Interface Scenarios?

[C n C]

One from SpaceX

RUD - Rapid Unplanned Disassembly

Or in normal language, "it exploded".

[anonymous-user]

Any classic car dealers description of a car lol

[anonymous-user]

I once jokingly told someone i was a Timed Restaurant Interface Engineer.*

* shoved frozen food into a lorry at night

[Super Sonic]

Getting rare these days, but the old 'door glass regulator'

[r159]

Johnnytheboy said:

Didn't the USAF once refer to plane crashes as Ground Air Interface Scenarios?

‘Controlled flight into terrain’ is also an official term for crashing.

[Honk]

Sales executive/consultant....shop assistant?

[beambeam1]

Nightclub rejection and ejection specialist.

[davhill]

Two I use...

Crashing into something = Negative Clearance Situation.

Failed Under Continuous Kinetic Testing = F.U.C.K.T.

[db]

Many, many, years ago, I had to sign for a delivery for the first time in my life.
I was presented with a huge sheet of papers and set to.
Name, etc.
And then it came to position held.
I was a busy production assisant and abbreviated this to prod ass.
It was only after the driver left that I realised I would be perfectly happy in the hope I never saw him again.

[cobra kid]

"Business creation executive"

[jimmy156]

As another poster has said, education is full of this.

“Assessment for learning (AFL) / Formative assessment / assessing pupil progress (APP)” all mean making sure the students are actually learning something. But it gets branded as “the new thing” with a different name

[cmvtec]

Read any property or overpriced car listing online.