Morals of your friends.
Discussion
We’re friends with our neighbours. Occasional meals out, lending tools etc. Not bosom buddies but just generally nice neighbours.
He’s the manager of a local shop and we’ve heard on the grapevine (my daughter who works with someone who used to work there ) that him and another guy were fired off for dishonesty. It’s definitely true he’s left and it’s unlikely he would leave of his own volition.
We’re finding this difficult to process as he’s always seemed dead straight and has complained several times about having to sack dishonest staff.
We’re going to treat him like we always do as it’s unlikely we will ever get to hear his side of the story. Do you think we’re right? I’m not setting myself up as some saint in judgement as I’ve done some iffy things in my time.
Also where would you draw the limit on a friends behaviour/ moral compass?
People make mistakes.
Some people learn from their mistakes.
But you only have hearsay and the grapevine.
People are much less honest than you imagine.
I've had people tell me things, bragging, thinkingbthey wete clever, and I've smiled and thought, that's the last time I ever trust you then. Thanks for letting me know.
Some people learn from their mistakes.
But you only have hearsay and the grapevine.
People are much less honest than you imagine.
I've had people tell me things, bragging, thinkingbthey wete clever, and I've smiled and thought, that's the last time I ever trust you then. Thanks for letting me know.
Drawweight said:
I’m not setting myself up as some saint in judgement as I’ve done some iffy things in my time.
Also where would you draw the limit on a friends behaviour/ moral compass?
Did you learn from those iffy things or would you do pitfall again? I've got an ex-mate who committed insurance fraud in 1985 aged 17. He also borrowed a lot of money off me in 1989, and never paid it back. Also where would you draw the limit on a friends behaviour/ moral compass?
I'm sure he's continued being a dodgy t
t for the last 32 years and I suspect one day something will stick. Given our last conversation 32 years ago ended our friendship, I'm never likely to find out.
Austin_Metro said:
Eric’s right.
Also, the grapevine tends to corrupt messages. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Indeed. Be wary of 2nd/3rd hand information.Also, the grapevine tends to corrupt messages. Give him the benefit of the doubt.
It could have been significant dishonesty, it could have been £5 overclaimed on expenses. It could have been wrongful dismissal.
How u doing said:
Seriously if he has been sacked, there may have been many reasons. Not all are fingers in the till.
True.Many years ago I worked in a retailer. The store was always undersupplied with key products and the central distribution centre allocated stock based on store inventory. We would always sell out before we got enough resupply.
The manager figured (it was a very old system that only did a nightly batch update) that if he took inventory and did a "stock transfer to another store" then it would show 0 inventory and then we would get more allocated as the batch ran overnight. The next day he cancelled the transfers.
It gave us more stock to sell, he hit his sales targets, etc, we made commission. No-one had been "defrauded" per se and no money was lost by the company (nothing was stolen). Other stores did miss out on the opportunity to sell those goods.
I think HQ saw a spike in sales and internal audit decided to take a look; he was fired, I guess for dishonest behaviour.
I'd ask.
I knew someone who had worked for a large supermarket chain for decades then one day was caught helping himself to a bottle of sherry(!) and got sacked on the spot. He told me he's never done that before and doesn't know what made him do it, and I'm happy to believe him.
You may never know the truth but maybe you will find out. At least you won't go all awkward whenever you meet him.
I knew someone who had worked for a large supermarket chain for decades then one day was caught helping himself to a bottle of sherry(!) and got sacked on the spot. He told me he's never done that before and doesn't know what made him do it, and I'm happy to believe him.
You may never know the truth but maybe you will find out. At least you won't go all awkward whenever you meet him.
As others have said, it could be absolutely anything that he went for. To sack a manager in retail could mean that they were poor at their job and an indiscretion was enough to tip their performance plan over the edge, or he could have emptied the safe.
I deal with this every day and I’ve dealt with two different cases recently. 1 let his mates walk out with £thousands in stock, he was arrogant, aggressive, belligerent and just an arse to everyone. The other got money off his mum to buy something for her but stole and wrote the stock off and kept the money to buy food for his 2 month old. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t make it right, but he was the most genuine person I’ve spoken to in a long time and just found himself with an opportunity to do the wrong thing for the right reason. Both are the same age, similar areas geographically, same stage in life etc, but both will most likely have the same outcome at the end of the process and be tarred with the same brush. I know which one I’d quite happily have over for a barbie and a few beers though.
All I’m saying is don’t judge it, he could be finding himself in a situation he was forced in to and just needs his mates, so distancing yourself isn’t the way to go IMO.
Just don’t lend him your lawn mower
I deal with this every day and I’ve dealt with two different cases recently. 1 let his mates walk out with £thousands in stock, he was arrogant, aggressive, belligerent and just an arse to everyone. The other got money off his mum to buy something for her but stole and wrote the stock off and kept the money to buy food for his 2 month old. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t make it right, but he was the most genuine person I’ve spoken to in a long time and just found himself with an opportunity to do the wrong thing for the right reason. Both are the same age, similar areas geographically, same stage in life etc, but both will most likely have the same outcome at the end of the process and be tarred with the same brush. I know which one I’d quite happily have over for a barbie and a few beers though.
All I’m saying is don’t judge it, he could be finding himself in a situation he was forced in to and just needs his mates, so distancing yourself isn’t the way to go IMO.
Just don’t lend him your lawn mower
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