Child Arrangement Order - ADVICE
Discussion
I got an arrangement order in march 2020.
I filed for court she refused to attend mediation etc until after it was filed.
She is not happy with the current arrangement and she has bullied my eldest so much for not accepting second guy she has involved in their lives. She claims single mum benefit but he is much younger lives at home and is staying a lot which is causing upset to the girls. My second eldest is hanging out on street corners at night now and is getting very upset with life.
The school have picked up and we had a meeting two weeks ago saying she must mediate with me and stop involving the kids in the conflict.
She feels like I have turned my eldest against her but she has with bullying and telling her she wish she had aborted her as a baby.
Question she is now creating a lot of issues and despite agreeing with school to book mediation (shuttle) she is now saying she needs to get advice from CAB and she won't start it till after her holidays in the summer and kids go back to school.
I am not sure if she can file to go to court but my social worker friend says she sees no other option for me?
I filed for court she refused to attend mediation etc until after it was filed.
She is not happy with the current arrangement and she has bullied my eldest so much for not accepting second guy she has involved in their lives. She claims single mum benefit but he is much younger lives at home and is staying a lot which is causing upset to the girls. My second eldest is hanging out on street corners at night now and is getting very upset with life.
The school have picked up and we had a meeting two weeks ago saying she must mediate with me and stop involving the kids in the conflict.
She feels like I have turned my eldest against her but she has with bullying and telling her she wish she had aborted her as a baby.
Question she is now creating a lot of issues and despite agreeing with school to book mediation (shuttle) she is now saying she needs to get advice from CAB and she won't start it till after her holidays in the summer and kids go back to school.
I am not sure if she can file to go to court but my social worker friend says she sees no other option for me?
Psycho Warren said:
ive no legal advice for you but judging by experience on here, prepare to get dry bum f
ked at every stage.
This and it continues into and past the stage your children get to be 18. ked at every stage.Do whatever you have to do to see your kids and smile about it. Let everything the ex does go over your head and enjoy your life mate. It makes you ill otherwise.
Psycho Warren said:
ive no legal advice for you but judging by experience on here, prepare to get dry bum fked at every stage.
Well yes I am considering saying i am a gender challenged male and I want to transition to a women to get some blanket protection because as a white heterosexual male you seem to be bottom of the run.ked at every stage.Already found the school even though she does crazy things deal with allegation against me very differently.
I reported she has thrown something at child A they called a meeting with her. Massive history of this and police have interviewed her about cuts on child a face.
She 3 days later alleged I had thrown a computer mouse at child b they didn’t call me, but escalated to social saying the child was in immediate risk to harm even though the child was with mum.
It’s so bent towards the mum
surveyor_101 said:
I want her not to let strange men take my kids out.
Bad news on that front, I'm afraid. In the same way you are legally entitled to make bad dating choices, so is she. Learn to get on better for the children's sake, and definitely learn that her sex life is absolutely not your business any more.surveyor_101 said:
Well yes I am considering saying i am a gender challenged male and I want to transition to a women to get some blanket protection because as a white heterosexual male you seem to be bottom of the run.
White and heterosexual has nothing to do with it, or even CIA male. Fathers of all races, sexual orientations and gender identity’s get screwed by the family courts. Despite huge changes elsewhere family courts, police and social services still view mothers as not only the main caregiver but giving the vast majority of care and being incapable of harming children in any way.Get it to court and get CAFCASS involved.
I doubt you would be able to stop her taking your kids out with another adult.
I have custody of my son, after the courts got involved.
Being male had no effect the discussions, CAFCASS are only interested in the welfare of the children involved.
Their report about my ex wife was damming.
Keep a level head and document everything in case you need to refer back later.
Best of luck
I doubt you would be able to stop her taking your kids out with another adult.
I have custody of my son, after the courts got involved.
Being male had no effect the discussions, CAFCASS are only interested in the welfare of the children involved.
Their report about my ex wife was damming.
Keep a level head and document everything in case you need to refer back later.
Best of luck
randlemarcus said:
Bad news on that front, I'm afraid. In the same way you are legally entitled to make bad dating choices, so is she. Learn to get on better for the children's sake, and definitely learn that her sex life is absolutely not your business any more.
Sorry I should have been clear there was an issue before and in court it was clarified who the children could be left in the care of.She is saying since his name is not in there she can, he has previous being kicked out of scouts so its not very simple.
I am not interested in the sex when I see my kids out with him and not her I get concerned. Why is the assumption I want her!
I was under the impression only people listed on the order could care for the kids and she was with someone else in march.
Hashtaggggg said:
Get it to court and get CAFCASS involved.
I doubt you would be able to stop her taking your kids out with another adult.
I have custody of my son, after the courts got involved.
Being male had no effect the discussions, CAFCASS are only interested in the welfare of the children involved.
Their report about my ex wife was damming.
Keep a level head and document everything in case you need to refer back later.
Best of luck
Cafcass when I spoke to them prior to court, had 10 minutes and the case load seemed nuts and she basically cut me off all the time and said she had 20 mins total to do the report. Then it was sent through with typos and childrens names wrong and she said if your not happy complain to my boss. I feel her case load was just nuts!I doubt you would be able to stop her taking your kids out with another adult.
I have custody of my son, after the courts got involved.
Being male had no effect the discussions, CAFCASS are only interested in the welfare of the children involved.
Their report about my ex wife was damming.
Keep a level head and document everything in case you need to refer back later.
Best of luck
The mum is very controlling and can't deal with teenagers, she cut my eldests face and it was dealt with via police and social. child changed her statement part way through to say it was an accident. Mother told her she would lose her job and kids would go in care if she didn't!
So all parties lost interest, the same daughter has now moved in with me.
also...
Lady friend of mine is PFSA who I get advice from and she feels my ex has mental health issues.
She seems live in an alternate reality when discussing most issues.
She stated at a school meeting that she raised I msg the last guy and court which didn't happen.
He had sent me a weird msg and I never responded.
Meeting with my daughter she just denies anything my daughter said even some of it was recorded on her phone.
Lady friend of mine is PFSA who I get advice from and she feels my ex has mental health issues.
She seems live in an alternate reality when discussing most issues.
She stated at a school meeting that she raised I msg the last guy and court which didn't happen.
He had sent me a weird msg and I never responded.
Meeting with my daughter she just denies anything my daughter said even some of it was recorded on her phone.
If you're concerned about the new partner make a request to the police under the sex offenders disclosure scheme.
If there are any police records relating to sexual offending or domestic violence, sufficient to raise alarms, they will let you know.
It doesn't guarantee anything but would help provide some assurance (hopefully) that he doesn't have previous history.
If there are any police records relating to sexual offending or domestic violence, sufficient to raise alarms, they will let you know.
It doesn't guarantee anything but would help provide some assurance (hopefully) that he doesn't have previous history.
surveyor_101 said:
I got an arrangement order in march 2020.
I filed for court she refused to attend mediation etc until after it was filed.
She is not happy with the current arrangement and she has bullied my eldest so much for not accepting second guy she has involved in their lives. She claims single mum benefit but he is much younger lives at home and is staying a lot which is causing upset to the girls. My second eldest is hanging out on street corners at night now and is getting very upset with life.
The school have picked up and we had a meeting two weeks ago saying she must mediate with me and stop involving the kids in the conflict.
She feels like I have turned my eldest against her but she has with bullying and telling her she wish she had aborted her as a baby.
Question she is now creating a lot of issues and despite agreeing with school to book mediation (shuttle) she is now saying she needs to get advice from CAB and she won't start it till after her holidays in the summer and kids go back to school.
I am not sure if she can file to go to court but my social worker friend says she sees no other option for me?
I've been twice through this , although my first partner and I came out OK after a year or two of acrimony ( more than 30 years ago ) and now our daughter gets on OK with both of us and has turned out OK , she's now an adult and has her own place , and I get on OK with my ex who now has a partner of almost 30 years . I met my second partner 10 years after my split from the first ; we separated in january 2020 , after 21 years together , with a son who will be 13 in a couple of weeks ; 18 months on from the separation we still don't really speak , but the acrimony is getting less , time is a great healer .I filed for court she refused to attend mediation etc until after it was filed.
She is not happy with the current arrangement and she has bullied my eldest so much for not accepting second guy she has involved in their lives. She claims single mum benefit but he is much younger lives at home and is staying a lot which is causing upset to the girls. My second eldest is hanging out on street corners at night now and is getting very upset with life.
The school have picked up and we had a meeting two weeks ago saying she must mediate with me and stop involving the kids in the conflict.
She feels like I have turned my eldest against her but she has with bullying and telling her she wish she had aborted her as a baby.
Question she is now creating a lot of issues and despite agreeing with school to book mediation (shuttle) she is now saying she needs to get advice from CAB and she won't start it till after her holidays in the summer and kids go back to school.
I am not sure if she can file to go to court but my social worker friend says she sees no other option for me?
I have good contact with both my children .
In both cases , my exes are decent enough women and in neither case was there any cheating or wrongdoing - we just grew apart and could no longer live together - I openly admit i am a very difficult person to live with and don't evade any blame , but that isn't what it is about .
Your circumstances are probably different , but do keep in mind that time is a great healer and wrongs can fade away . Your ex may become civil in time .
The main thing for you right now is the welfare of your children , and even if you can't take them o yourself , having them taken into care may be better than being with a bad parent in an unsuitable environment . You would then have to show yourself worthy to have them in order to be awarded custody .
I don't know all the processes , having never needed to go through them myself as my exes and I have managed to just work things out between us .
I don't know if you can speak with your ex , or through an intermediary , but if you can , it would be worth trying to persuade her that it would be better to reach an agreement yourselves rather than going through courts or child protection agencies , which might see both of you lose control of your children .
I'm just a guy who has a bit of life experience - you really need to see a lawyer who specialises in family law and get some proper legal advice - generally your first consultation is free , although mine majored on the legalities of who got the house and how much money i could get back from it , but shared access to our son was never an issue ; with my first partner I just sold the house which was in my name only and split the proceeds 50:50 with my ex - end of .
See a family lawyer is the best advice I can give you .
If you need an ear , message me and I'll give sympathy if nothing else .
theboss said:
If you're concerned about the new partner make a request to the police under the sex offenders disclosure scheme.
If there are any police records relating to sexual offending or domestic violence, sufficient to raise alarms, they will let you know.
It doesn't guarantee anything but would help provide some assurance (hopefully) that he doesn't have previous history.
With the name I have they can’t even find a record of his existing If there are any police records relating to sexual offending or domestic violence, sufficient to raise alarms, they will let you know.
It doesn't guarantee anything but would help provide some assurance (hopefully) that he doesn't have previous history.
surveyor_101 said:
She claims single mum benefit but he is much younger lives at home and is staying a lot which is causing upset to the girls.
Hire a independent private Detective or someone to video him coming and going? If he is living with her full time then get evidence and shop her for benefit fraud.randlemarcus said:
surveyor_101 said:
I want her not to let strange men take my kids out.
Bad news on that front, I'm afraid. In the same way you are legally entitled to make bad dating choices, so is she. Learn to get on better for the children's sake, and definitely learn that her sex life is absolutely not your business any more.Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff