Dropping down dead - what next?
Discussion
My wife’s brother ‘R’ dropped down dead from heart attack the other day, aged 51. He was single and no kids and a private person, so even though there are eight siblings, non of them know anything about his financial affairs.
He has 6 brothers and two sisters, one being my wife. However the youngest 3 brothers are low life scum with heroin and gambling addictions, are dysfunctional and are not to be trusted. Thankfully his two older brothers and sisters are normal decent people with their heads screwed on correctly. They are desperately trying to sort out his affairs without the 3 lowlifes getting their hands on his possessions.
To add a complication, their elderly mother is also dysfunctional, housebound, penniless but gives any pennies she acquires to the 3 lowlife sons who take advantage of her.
The fear is, she will give R’s house keys to the 3 and tell them to help themselves. R might not have a will, so his house could go to his mother, who will give it to the 3.
Not an easy situation to guard against.
He has 6 brothers and two sisters, one being my wife. However the youngest 3 brothers are low life scum with heroin and gambling addictions, are dysfunctional and are not to be trusted. Thankfully his two older brothers and sisters are normal decent people with their heads screwed on correctly. They are desperately trying to sort out his affairs without the 3 lowlifes getting their hands on his possessions.
To add a complication, their elderly mother is also dysfunctional, housebound, penniless but gives any pennies she acquires to the 3 lowlife sons who take advantage of her.
The fear is, she will give R’s house keys to the 3 and tell them to help themselves. R might not have a will, so his house could go to his mother, who will give it to the 3.
Not an easy situation to guard against.
Trust me, the rest are very decent people simply trying to carry out R’s wishes. He always said he never wanted the 3 to get their hands on anything of his. Hopefully he had a will to explain his wishes, but we don’t know for sure.
The 3 will sell all his possessions within 24hrs if they can, and shoot them into their arms. R hated how they did the same with their mum.
R paid off all her debts and visited her every day to look after her, as he was the only one of the decent family that lived close enough.
The rest of us will be left footing the costs of the funeral etc, and be doing all the running around sorting everything. I foresee his estate going to his mum who will give it to the 3. R would turn in his grave.
We are all trying to notify his employers, banks, pension and see if he had a will etc. Not easy when you live the other end of the country.
The 3 will sell all his possessions within 24hrs if they can, and shoot them into their arms. R hated how they did the same with their mum.
R paid off all her debts and visited her every day to look after her, as he was the only one of the decent family that lived close enough.
The rest of us will be left footing the costs of the funeral etc, and be doing all the running around sorting everything. I foresee his estate going to his mum who will give it to the 3. R would turn in his grave.
We are all trying to notify his employers, banks, pension and see if he had a will etc. Not easy when you live the other end of the country.
Edited by LeadFarmer on Monday 19th July 12:55
Someone has to go into the house and look through filing cabinets and open all the post. Hopefully he was organised … and left details of any safe combination if he had one
Had to do this with my younger sister more than a decade ago. Luckily she’d given my mum a copy of the will , so we knew there was one.
Had to do this with my younger sister more than a decade ago. Luckily she’d given my mum a copy of the will , so we knew there was one.
LeadFarmer said:
Trust me, the rest are very decent people simply trying to carry out R’s wishes. He always said he never wanted the 3 to get their hands on anything of his. Hopefully he had a will to explain his wishes, but we don’t know for sure.
The first thing to address then would seem to be the existence of a Will. How you establish that from where you are I'm not sure, if you can't search the house. And even then it might be with a solicitor somewhere.That said, if the miscreants are going to steal everything from the estate and sell it, there's not much you can do.
I concur with the others - bail out, because it's not your problem and you can't solve it.
Sorry to hear of your wife’s family’s loss.
As said above, someone needs to get into the house and go through his papers.
If there is a will, that determines who gets what. The executors should step up and take control of the estate.
If there is no will then it doesn’t matter what he wished should happen as regards the three bad ‘uns: the someone need to step up and take an appointment as administrator/administratrix and apply the intestacy rules.
Either way, the debts of the estate and taxes have to be sorted before anyone gets anything, and someone has to work out who is owed what.
As said above, someone needs to get into the house and go through his papers.
If there is a will, that determines who gets what. The executors should step up and take control of the estate.
If there is no will then it doesn’t matter what he wished should happen as regards the three bad ‘uns: the someone need to step up and take an appointment as administrator/administratrix and apply the intestacy rules.
Either way, the debts of the estate and taxes have to be sorted before anyone gets anything, and someone has to work out who is owed what.
BlackWidow13 said:
Sorry to hear of your wife’s family’s loss.
As said above, someone needs to get into the house and go through his papers.
If there is a will, that determines who gets what. The executors should step up and take control of the estate.
If there is no will then it doesn’t matter what he wished should happen as regards the three bad ‘uns: the someone need to step up and take an appointment as administrator/administratrix and apply the intestacy rules.
Either way, the debts of the estate and taxes have to be sorted before anyone gets anything, and someone has to work out who is owed what.
Two of them are going to search for documents in his house. We live too far away to help with that or I’d happily do so. But even if someone has a will stored with a solicitor, how would any family know? I’m guessing there’s no central body that records which solicitors have stored wills. As said above, someone needs to get into the house and go through his papers.
If there is a will, that determines who gets what. The executors should step up and take control of the estate.
If there is no will then it doesn’t matter what he wished should happen as regards the three bad ‘uns: the someone need to step up and take an appointment as administrator/administratrix and apply the intestacy rules.
Either way, the debts of the estate and taxes have to be sorted before anyone gets anything, and someone has to work out who is owed what.
LeadFarmer said:
But even if someone has a will stored with a solicitor, how would any family know?
If there is a will then someone has been named in it as executor. Prudently, you’d choose an executor who is likely to find out fairly quickly if you’ve died. Also: trawl the bank statements for debit entries. Look at who the payee is. If it’s a solicitor, that’s a lead.
LeadFarmer said:
Thanks for that link.
Am I right in assuming that ourselves and the decent brothers/sisters will have to share the cost of his funeral, until his estate can be determined at a later point?
Not sure if this helps?Am I right in assuming that ourselves and the decent brothers/sisters will have to share the cost of his funeral, until his estate can be determined at a later point?
https://beyond.life/help-centre/funeral-costs/who-...
AIUI if he didn't leave a will then his mum inherits all his assets. She can then do as she wishes with them.
If it was me, the decent thing to do is to sort out his funeral. It should probably cost £3k max (so less than £500 per decent sibling?). In relation to anything else to do with his Estate I wouldn't get involved unless the NOK (his mum in this case) asked. Quibbling over the assets of a dead family member isn't dignified or seemly IMHO
LeadFarmer said:
My wife’s brother ‘R’ dropped down dead from heart attack the other day, aged 51. He was single and no kids and a private person, so even though there are eight siblings, non of them know anything about his financial affairs.
He has 6 brothers and two sisters, one being my wife. However the youngest 3 brothers are low life scum with heroin and gambling addictions, are dysfunctional and are not to be trusted. Thankfully his two older brothers and sisters are normal decent people with their heads screwed on correctly. They are desperately trying to sort out his affairs without the 3 lowlifes getting their hands on his possessions.
To add a complication, their elderly mother is also dysfunctional, housebound, penniless but gives any pennies she acquires to the 3 lowlife sons who take advantage of her.
The fear is, she will give R’s house keys to the 3 and tell them to help themselves. R might not have a will, so his house could go to his mother, who will give it to the 3.
Not an easy situation to guard against.
Why is there a fear? If R hasn't made a will then his assets belong to his mum. It's none of the business of the siblings (decent or otherwise)He has 6 brothers and two sisters, one being my wife. However the youngest 3 brothers are low life scum with heroin and gambling addictions, are dysfunctional and are not to be trusted. Thankfully his two older brothers and sisters are normal decent people with their heads screwed on correctly. They are desperately trying to sort out his affairs without the 3 lowlifes getting their hands on his possessions.
To add a complication, their elderly mother is also dysfunctional, housebound, penniless but gives any pennies she acquires to the 3 lowlife sons who take advantage of her.
The fear is, she will give R’s house keys to the 3 and tell them to help themselves. R might not have a will, so his house could go to his mother, who will give it to the 3.
Not an easy situation to guard against.
Countdown said:
Why is there a fear? If R hasn't made a will then his assets belong to his mum. It's none of the business of the siblings (decent or otherwise)
This would be my view too. I just wish people would ensure they have a valid Will - it just makes a difficult time that much easier, for everybody.Vasco said:
This would be my view too. I just wish people would ensure they have a valid Will - it just makes a difficult time that much easier, for everybody.
It's not that easy. I know I'm going to die fairly soon, and I'm 51. The whole estate planning/will writing business appears to be based on you living until 80, your children being old enough to act as executor, your parents having predeceased you. Dying at an unconventional age is inconvenient, even with a few month's notice. Gassing Station | Finance | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff