Chav jokes
Author
Discussion

m.c

Original Poster:

354 posts

258 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
1. What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit.

2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted

3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it? Safe.

4. What do you call an Eskimo chav?
Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit? The bride.

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut? One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police

12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.

13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please

14. What do you call a chav in a suit?
The defendant

15. What do u call a knife in chaville?
Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova has 4 seats

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.

18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb? One, they'll screw anything.

19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."

21. Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash

22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

23. What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.

24. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

25. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society



Also do the chav test.


www.jengajam.com/r/chav-test

i got 27%



>> Edited by m.c on Thursday 21st July 19:00

imperialism2024

1,596 posts

285 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
13%

Though it would have been higher if there had been a question of "Have you ever had your car painted more than one color?"...

968

12,439 posts

277 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
Gazboy said:
31%- It was the spoiler that did it...


Hah only 10% innit....

BliarOut

72,863 posts

268 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
Oh crap, 58% I'm a chav

It was the pot noodle that dun for me.... Well, that and the bargain bucket, honest!

Lois

14,706 posts

281 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
I actually found out what CHAV means today! Even more hilarious!!!

Balmoral Green

42,561 posts

277 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
Shit! 10%, all down to pot noodle, buying flowers from a petrol station and having a state education.

gh0st

4,693 posts

287 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
anonymous said:
[redacted]


What is your interpretation of it?

Lois

14,706 posts

281 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
Council House And Violent - apparently its a police "slang" term!!

rustybin

1,769 posts

267 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
Balmoral Green said:
Shit! 10%, all down to pot noodle, buying flowers from a petrol station and having a state education.


Ahh my extra eight must be down to owning a double breasted suit (more than three buttons).

Frankly I am rather chuffed. I am only 8% more chavvy than someone who drives a Bentley.

Balmoral Green

42,561 posts

277 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
rustybin said:
Frankly I am rather chuffed. I am only 8% more chavvy than someone who drives a Bentley.

scared but happy

24,147 posts

258 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
45% innit.

406

3,636 posts

282 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
24% Chav and with the Posh test, I am 57% Posh

rustybin

1,769 posts

267 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
406 said:
24% Chav and with the Posh test, I am 57% Posh
Whats the other 19%?

wedg1e

27,038 posts

294 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
41%

I'll never eat own-brand baked beans again, I promise...

Little Red

1,188 posts

258 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
No comment.

Balmoral Green

42,561 posts

277 months

Thursday 21st July 2005
quotequote all
10% Chav
53% Posh
53% Geek
20% Drunk

What's more, it's about right

Killer2005

20,594 posts

257 months

Friday 22nd July 2005
quotequote all
I got 1% chav, 14% posh

Lois

14,706 posts

281 months

Friday 22nd July 2005
quotequote all
30% chav
40$ posh
27% drunk (shocking! Guess I'm just a posh drunk!)
25% geek (not my fault I was good at maths at school!)

bigandclever

14,359 posts

267 months

Friday 22nd July 2005
quotequote all
62%?!?! Feck. Though in mitigation, some of the questions are more "are you Northern?" than "are you a chav". No, really. Trust me, I is well wikkid innit.

Edited to add other scores...

48% posh
80% drunk
68% geek

It seems I'm quite a catch

>> Edited by bigandclever on Friday 22 July 18:39

Size Nine Elm

5,167 posts

313 months

Friday 22nd July 2005
quotequote all
11% Chav
47% Posh
27% Drunk
70% Geek ()