Embarrassing moments...
Discussion
A chap who works in our office was telling me how the (quite fit) lady that does sports massages near us did some work on his inner thigh when he pulled a muscle. He was sat on the bed facing her in Calvin Kleins and his little general stood to attention...he said it was VERY awkward and she just ignored it.
Not me, but a third person.
A friend of mine (yes, really!
) was ‘accidentally’ sent a dick pic by a senior male colleague via Wattsapp.
Although it was deleted by the sender, my friend had already seen it so he messaged him and said was it a bit cold at his end
The colleague denied it at first
A friend of mine (yes, really!
) was ‘accidentally’ sent a dick pic by a senior male colleague via Wattsapp. Although it was deleted by the sender, my friend had already seen it so he messaged him and said was it a bit cold at his end
The colleague denied it at first
Caddyshack said:
A chap who works in our office was telling me how the (quite fit) lady that does sports massages near us did some work on his inner thigh when he pulled a muscle. He was sat on the bed facing her in Calvin Kleins and his little general stood to attention...he said it was VERY awkward and she just ignored it.
Chap was in Sweden & had a massage, she told him to roll over on his back & hello ‘Woody’.
She noticed & asked if he wanted help to get rid of it, he nodded & she left the room.
Five minutes later she returned... “ Have you got rid of it now”
lastofthev8s said:
A friend of mine (yes, really! ) was ‘accidentally’ sent a dick pic by a senior male colleague via Wattsapp.
Although it was deleted by the sender, my friend had already seen it so he messaged him and said was it a bit cold at his end
The colleague denied it at first
I once accidentally sent my mate (who I lived with at the time) a dick pic. Things had been getting frisky on the text with a lass I'd pulled in town earlier that night and I sent the snap to the wrong number. It was clearly a flattering picture of my very average tackle because I've been known amongst my mates as having quite a weapon ever since. ) was ‘accidentally’ sent a dick pic by a senior male colleague via Wattsapp. Although it was deleted by the sender, my friend had already seen it so he messaged him and said was it a bit cold at his end
The colleague denied it at first
Mine seems a bit tame now...
Many years ago, I was at Brands Hatch & staring at the display in the model shop window...
I remarked to my big brother, how a few of them were of poor quality & we could do a better job. ( He was a big model maker)
A dig in the ribs.... I carried on, then a whisper in my ear.
The owner / builder was standing next to me.
( If looks could kill...)
Many years ago, I was at Brands Hatch & staring at the display in the model shop window...
I remarked to my big brother, how a few of them were of poor quality & we could do a better job. ( He was a big model maker)
A dig in the ribs.... I carried on, then a whisper in my ear.
The owner / builder was standing next to me.
( If looks could kill...)
Edited by Milkyway63 on Friday 24th September 13:04
Milkyway63 said:
I was at work ( younger days) & having a nice chat with a rather nice girl... when out of the blue there was action in the trouser dept.
I smiled, cut short the conversation & scurried off.
Many weeks / months later, she remembered our ‘terminated’ chat & was a bit puzzled by it.
So I just told her the truth... she just laughed her head off.
What on earth were you discussing - the monthly sales report?I smiled, cut short the conversation & scurried off.
Many weeks / months later, she remembered our ‘terminated’ chat & was a bit puzzled by it.
So I just told her the truth... she just laughed her head off.
Eric Mc said:
Milkyway63 said:
I was at work ( younger days) & having a nice chat with a rather nice girl... when out of the blue there was action in the trouser dept.
I smiled, cut short the conversation & scurried off.
Many weeks / months later, she remembered our ‘terminated’ chat & was a bit puzzled by it.
So I just told her the truth... she just laughed her head off.
What on earth were you discussing - the monthly sales report?I smiled, cut short the conversation & scurried off.
Many weeks / months later, she remembered our ‘terminated’ chat & was a bit puzzled by it.
So I just told her the truth... she just laughed her head off.
How did you guess( Things were definitely on the rise then... her boyfriend worked there too, & he was bigger than me.)
Edited by Milkyway63 on Friday 24th September 13:31
About two years ago, aged 32, my partner discovered she has the BRCA gene meaning she had a 90%+ chance of breast cancer unless she opted for a mastectomy which reduced the chances significantly. She opted for the mastectomy and leading up to the surgery I wasn't really operating on all cylinders at the time because of stress and worry for her and a lack of sleep. Upon visiting her after the operation I had to change her underwear as she couldn't reach or bend. Being the gent I am I tactfully managed this task without hurting her; or ending up arse to face for more time than absolutely necessary. Very proud of myself I popped the undies into my pocket ready to take home to wash. She was in a lot of pain after the operation and really couldn't do much at all, it was made worse that she'd got thrush from the anaesthetic which is apparently quite common.
On the way home I popped into the supermarket to pick up a few things for breakfast and some bits and pieces to make her stay in hospital more comfortable. I confidently walked over to the conveyor ready to pay the cashier and plonked down a large link of black pudding, a copy of cosmo (with added sealed guide to anal sex), some caneston, tampons and a chocolate orange. The cashier rung the items up and I hastily shoved them into a bag as quickly as possible realising I'd left my confidence somewhere around the confectionery aisle.
I'd summoned up some quips to make the situation more comfortable for both me and the cashier but as the cashier said absolutely nothing to me as she slowly scanned each item I made the executive decision to hold them back or make the situation worse. Presented with a total, a small queue behind me staring intently at my purchases and a completely silent cashier I whipped out my wallet to pay and run away as fast as I could. My wallet is absolutely lovely by the way, a small gift to myself. Bellroy, nice quality leather and really thin and compact. My girlfriends thong which I whipped out of my pocket with the wallet was equally slender. At this point the cashier didn't have to say anything as her face made a moue similar to a cat's bum as I held my wallet and girlfriend's dangling thong about her eye level. Being quick thinking I knew that the real story of my partner being incredibly brave and going through life saving elective surgery that no woman would ever wish to endure especially at such a young age and my gentlemanly if rather clumsy attempt to make her feel better was actually quite romantic, so I told her. Or rather, whilst holding out a thong about 2 foot from her face, I said, "my girlfriend's been quite poorly." At that point, as my payment went through and any attempt to clarify what I actually meant would appear even weirder I ran away leaving the poor cashier to work out what exactly I meant by "poorly" and why that would mean I needed to carry around her thong whilst purchasing my black pudding.
On the way home I popped into the supermarket to pick up a few things for breakfast and some bits and pieces to make her stay in hospital more comfortable. I confidently walked over to the conveyor ready to pay the cashier and plonked down a large link of black pudding, a copy of cosmo (with added sealed guide to anal sex), some caneston, tampons and a chocolate orange. The cashier rung the items up and I hastily shoved them into a bag as quickly as possible realising I'd left my confidence somewhere around the confectionery aisle.
I'd summoned up some quips to make the situation more comfortable for both me and the cashier but as the cashier said absolutely nothing to me as she slowly scanned each item I made the executive decision to hold them back or make the situation worse. Presented with a total, a small queue behind me staring intently at my purchases and a completely silent cashier I whipped out my wallet to pay and run away as fast as I could. My wallet is absolutely lovely by the way, a small gift to myself. Bellroy, nice quality leather and really thin and compact. My girlfriends thong which I whipped out of my pocket with the wallet was equally slender. At this point the cashier didn't have to say anything as her face made a moue similar to a cat's bum as I held my wallet and girlfriend's dangling thong about her eye level. Being quick thinking I knew that the real story of my partner being incredibly brave and going through life saving elective surgery that no woman would ever wish to endure especially at such a young age and my gentlemanly if rather clumsy attempt to make her feel better was actually quite romantic, so I told her. Or rather, whilst holding out a thong about 2 foot from her face, I said, "my girlfriend's been quite poorly." At that point, as my payment went through and any attempt to clarify what I actually meant would appear even weirder I ran away leaving the poor cashier to work out what exactly I meant by "poorly" and why that would mean I needed to carry around her thong whilst purchasing my black pudding.
sebdangerfield said:
About two years ago, aged 32, my partner discovered she has the BRCA gene meaning she had a 90%+ chance of breast cancer unless she opted for a mastectomy which reduced the chances significantly. She opted for the mastectomy and leading up to the surgery I wasn't really operating on all cylinders at the time because of stress and worry for her and a lack of sleep. Upon visiting her after the operation I had to change her underwear as she couldn't reach or bend. Being the gent I am I tactfully managed this task without hurting her; or ending up arse to face for more time than absolutely necessary. Very proud of myself I popped the undies into my pocket ready to take home to wash. She was in a lot of pain after the operation and really couldn't do much at all, it was made worse that she'd got thrush from the anaesthetic which is apparently quite common.
On the way home I popped into the supermarket to pick up a few things for breakfast and some bits and pieces to make her stay in hospital more comfortable. I confidently walked over to the conveyor ready to pay the cashier and plonked down a large link of black pudding, a copy of cosmo (with added sealed guide to anal sex), some caneston, tampons and a chocolate orange. The cashier rung the items up and I hastily shoved them into a bag as quickly as possible realising I'd left my confidence somewhere around the confectionery aisle.
I'd summoned up some quips to make the situation more comfortable for both me and the cashier but as the cashier said absolutely nothing to me as she slowly scanned each item I made the executive decision to hold them back or make the situation worse. Presented with a total, a small queue behind me staring intently at my purchases and a completely silent cashier I whipped out my wallet to pay and run away as fast as I could. My wallet is absolutely lovely by the way, a small gift to myself. Bellroy, nice quality leather and really thin and compact. My girlfriends thong which I whipped out of my pocket with the wallet was equally slender. At this point the cashier didn't have to say anything as her face made a moue similar to a cat's bum as I held my wallet and girlfriend's dangling thong about her eye level. Being quick thinking I knew that the real story of my partner being incredibly brave and going through life saving elective surgery that no woman would ever wish to endure especially at such a young age and my gentlemanly if rather clumsy attempt to make her feel better was actually quite romantic, so I told her. Or rather, whilst holding out a thong about 2 foot from her face, I said, "my girlfriend's been quite poorly." At that point, as my payment went through and any attempt to clarify what I actually meant would appear even weirder I ran away leaving the poor cashier to work out what exactly I meant by "poorly" and why that would mean I needed to carry around her thong whilst purchasing my black pudding.
On the way home I popped into the supermarket to pick up a few things for breakfast and some bits and pieces to make her stay in hospital more comfortable. I confidently walked over to the conveyor ready to pay the cashier and plonked down a large link of black pudding, a copy of cosmo (with added sealed guide to anal sex), some caneston, tampons and a chocolate orange. The cashier rung the items up and I hastily shoved them into a bag as quickly as possible realising I'd left my confidence somewhere around the confectionery aisle.
I'd summoned up some quips to make the situation more comfortable for both me and the cashier but as the cashier said absolutely nothing to me as she slowly scanned each item I made the executive decision to hold them back or make the situation worse. Presented with a total, a small queue behind me staring intently at my purchases and a completely silent cashier I whipped out my wallet to pay and run away as fast as I could. My wallet is absolutely lovely by the way, a small gift to myself. Bellroy, nice quality leather and really thin and compact. My girlfriends thong which I whipped out of my pocket with the wallet was equally slender. At this point the cashier didn't have to say anything as her face made a moue similar to a cat's bum as I held my wallet and girlfriend's dangling thong about her eye level. Being quick thinking I knew that the real story of my partner being incredibly brave and going through life saving elective surgery that no woman would ever wish to endure especially at such a young age and my gentlemanly if rather clumsy attempt to make her feel better was actually quite romantic, so I told her. Or rather, whilst holding out a thong about 2 foot from her face, I said, "my girlfriend's been quite poorly." At that point, as my payment went through and any attempt to clarify what I actually meant would appear even weirder I ran away leaving the poor cashier to work out what exactly I meant by "poorly" and why that would mean I needed to carry around her thong whilst purchasing my black pudding.
One of the first times of meeting my now girlfriend, she is interested in cars, motorsport etc. and it came up that she couldn't drive (she was mid 20s at the time).
This surprised me, and I asked words to the effect of "oh right? how come, just never been interested in it?"
She explained that she'd lived by herself since she was 16 and so had just never been able to afford to learn.
It was at this point I realised what a fortunate / privileged t
t I am 
This surprised me, and I asked words to the effect of "oh right? how come, just never been interested in it?"
She explained that she'd lived by herself since she was 16 and so had just never been able to afford to learn.
It was at this point I realised what a fortunate / privileged t
t I am Few years back had a mate round my house. I'd been "seeing" his best mate's wife, unbeknown to him and his mate.
She couldn't get my mobile so phoned my landline, answered the phone realised who it was and went to another room to take the call. She wanted to meet later that day, quickly made arrangements to do that. Came back into room with mate and realised I hadn't hung up that phone, obviously hoped he didn't hear. Awkward - me/her sweated for a while in case he decided to tell his mate. Which he probably should have done.
Nothing came of it for a while so assumed he didn't hear. He told me a few months later he had heard but decided to keep it under his hat. Even though that was a short term bullet dodged we were never such good mates after.
That's the kind of lesson you only need to learn once.
She couldn't get my mobile so phoned my landline, answered the phone realised who it was and went to another room to take the call. She wanted to meet later that day, quickly made arrangements to do that. Came back into room with mate and realised I hadn't hung up that phone, obviously hoped he didn't hear. Awkward - me/her sweated for a while in case he decided to tell his mate. Which he probably should have done.
Nothing came of it for a while so assumed he didn't hear. He told me a few months later he had heard but decided to keep it under his hat. Even though that was a short term bullet dodged we were never such good mates after.
That's the kind of lesson you only need to learn once.
steveo3002 said:
paying at a shop the seated check out worker made some chat about being stuck at work on such a nice day , i said at least you get to sit down , then he pointed and showed me he was in a wheel chair because his legs dont work and he would love to stand up all day
I used to service / deliver upmarket mobility chairs for severely disabled people.......& yes, had to be very careful what I said or phrased things. Bit embarrassing when you turn up with a ‘left hand drive’... & find they have no use in that arm at all ( or vice-Versa)
And... changing over had to be done back @ base.
( Most of them were cool though... a good laugh)
Edited by Milkyway63 on Friday 24th September 14:27
When I was in the Navy as a junior officer, I had been given a stty job of making sure the Ship's upper deck was all tidy and ready for some Senior NATO officers to come aboard to be briefed for an operation. All mostly senior Captains and Admirals etc.
What I hadn't checked for was that one of the stokers (mechanical engineers) was doing some work on a fire hydrant from inside the ship. He had isolated the supply and drained it down by opening the valve. He did the work and was just about to turn the water back on as the open top boat came alongside to pick up all the Admirals etc.
Just as the boat was loading up and everyone was lined up and saluting the admirals as they left, the Stoker restored the supply but forgot to shut the hydrant valve. So a big blast of water came out the hydrant on the upper deck and rained down onto the open top boat. All the Admirals were in white tropical uniform and quite a few got soaked.
que massive embarrassment as I sprinted to the hydrant to turn the water off. Bear in mind it was up a ladder on another deck so took a good 20 seconds to do. Mean while a massive spray of water was continuing to rain down on the boat while everyone in the boat was huddling at one end to avoid getting any wetter than necessary.
Cue a massive bking and being branded an embarrassment to the Navy and the country.
To make it worse, the hydrant had a brass blanking cap. This flew off and whacked some senior officer in the shoulder clipping his hat and sending that flying too. So by the time i returned to the gangway, said Captain returned up the gangway from the boat and sarcastically said "I think you lost this".
Quite funny looking back on it but at the time, i was just 19, young and inexperienced and got shouted at by everyone.
tty job of making sure the Ship's upper deck was all tidy and ready for some Senior NATO officers to come aboard to be briefed for an operation. All mostly senior Captains and Admirals etc. What I hadn't checked for was that one of the stokers (mechanical engineers) was doing some work on a fire hydrant from inside the ship. He had isolated the supply and drained it down by opening the valve. He did the work and was just about to turn the water back on as the open top boat came alongside to pick up all the Admirals etc.
Just as the boat was loading up and everyone was lined up and saluting the admirals as they left, the Stoker restored the supply but forgot to shut the hydrant valve. So a big blast of water came out the hydrant on the upper deck and rained down onto the open top boat. All the Admirals were in white tropical uniform and quite a few got soaked.
que massive embarrassment as I sprinted to the hydrant to turn the water off. Bear in mind it was up a ladder on another deck so took a good 20 seconds to do. Mean while a massive spray of water was continuing to rain down on the boat while everyone in the boat was huddling at one end to avoid getting any wetter than necessary.
Cue a massive b
king and being branded an embarrassment to the Navy and the country.To make it worse, the hydrant had a brass blanking cap. This flew off and whacked some senior officer in the shoulder clipping his hat and sending that flying too. So by the time i returned to the gangway, said Captain returned up the gangway from the boat and sarcastically said "I think you lost this".
Quite funny looking back on it but at the time, i was just 19, young and inexperienced and got shouted at by everyone.
A former mate and I were at a PH meet, at Silverstone I think about 10 years ago, anyway, we walk past looking at the stuff and notice a Boxster RS.
"That's fking sad to put that badge on, they didn't even make an RS" said he.
"I've upgraded a load of parts so it's like an RS would have been" said the owner, who was standing behind him
(exact wording may have differed of course)
"That's f
king sad to put that badge on, they didn't even make an RS" said he."I've upgraded a load of parts so it's like an RS would have been" said the owner, who was standing behind him
(exact wording may have differed of course)
The post re the Navy...
Chap at work was ex Navy & had shore leave in some
South American country (I can’t remember exactly)
Anyway, he had a few beers & pulled.
They sloped off into the woods, to have a bit of fun.
All was going well until he grabbed hold of some ‘meat & two veg’.
Decked said ladyboy & got banged up for a few nights.
( But He did admit they dressed & looked amazing...easily fooled)
Chap at work was ex Navy & had shore leave in some
South American country (I can’t remember exactly)
Anyway, he had a few beers & pulled.
They sloped off into the woods, to have a bit of fun.
All was going well until he grabbed hold of some ‘meat & two veg’.
Decked said ladyboy & got banged up for a few nights.
( But He did admit they dressed & looked amazing...easily fooled)
Edited by Milkyway63 on Friday 24th September 15:06
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