Moving a partner in…considerations
Discussion
Folks,
I’ve been with my current partner for 2 and a half years. Getting to the stage where we are strongly considering moving in together. Think this would be a good move overall and it’s time. Now, I don’t want to be too financially clinical about it, but do want to know if there’s anything I should be thinking about now.
-Neither of us have kids, nor is this biologically possible
-Both have broadly similar incomes, me slightly higher but with higher outgoings.
The disparity comes in terms of housing. I have a large house purchased from within the family that’s value has risen very sharply since purchase. (In line with loads of other stuff locally). Currently have a mortgage for around 50% of value.
He owns a flat which is worth about a third of that, with 75%ish mortgaged. Currently looking at consent to let/BTL mortgage. Conditions are very favourable locally and this would bring in a healthy/consistent rental income.
I couldn’t say ‘oh just move in, don’t worry about cash’ as 2 people’s bills here would stretch me a bit far. What’s a reasonable contribution to bills before it’s considered to be creating a financial interest in the place, or is that always just a risk?
At some stage in the future I’d imagine we would consider buying together, however for the foreseeable my house will fit our needs fine…
Cheers
I’ve been with my current partner for 2 and a half years. Getting to the stage where we are strongly considering moving in together. Think this would be a good move overall and it’s time. Now, I don’t want to be too financially clinical about it, but do want to know if there’s anything I should be thinking about now.
-Neither of us have kids, nor is this biologically possible
-Both have broadly similar incomes, me slightly higher but with higher outgoings.
The disparity comes in terms of housing. I have a large house purchased from within the family that’s value has risen very sharply since purchase. (In line with loads of other stuff locally). Currently have a mortgage for around 50% of value.
He owns a flat which is worth about a third of that, with 75%ish mortgaged. Currently looking at consent to let/BTL mortgage. Conditions are very favourable locally and this would bring in a healthy/consistent rental income.
I couldn’t say ‘oh just move in, don’t worry about cash’ as 2 people’s bills here would stretch me a bit far. What’s a reasonable contribution to bills before it’s considered to be creating a financial interest in the place, or is that always just a risk?
At some stage in the future I’d imagine we would consider buying together, however for the foreseeable my house will fit our needs fine…
Cheers
LordHaveMurci said:
Don’t put his name on any of the bills & don’t let him be seen to pay any part of the mortgage or contribute to home improvements.
+1Or split everything (inc mortgage and improvements) down the middle and hope you don’t break up.
Edit: To offer a bit more help, I can sympathise with the situation as I’ve had the same predicament. We could not think of a way to make it truly fair where both pay the same and have the same level of risk unless you add the partner to your deeds/mortgage and vice versa. But I’m guessing you don’t want to do that, which is fine and we didn’t want to either.
I believe that anything beyond splitting payments for utility bills and possessions (e.g. furniture) would be a financial interest in the property. You could always have your partner as a tenant of course. It might feel weird but since he will be getting rental income from his property it seems fair. The equity you both continue to build separately can be combined neatly when you buy together in future, with a deed of trust in place if you want.
Edited by F20CN16 on Monday 4th October 22:08
F20CN16 said:
LordHaveMurci said:
Don’t put his name on any of the bills & don’t let him be seen to pay any part of the mortgage or contribute to home improvements.
+1Or split everything (inc mortgage and improvements) down the middle and hope you don’t break up.
Edit: To offer a bit more help, I can sympathise with the situation as I’ve had the same predicament. We could not think of a way to make it truly fair where both pay the same and have the same level of risk unless you add the partner to your deeds/mortgage and vice versa. But I’m guessing you don’t want to do that, which is fine and we didn’t want to either.
I believe that anything beyond splitting payments for utility bills and possessions (e.g. furniture) would be a financial interest in the property. You could always have your partner as a tenant of course. It might feel weird but since he will be getting rental income from his property it seems fair. The equity you both continue to build separately can be combined neatly when you buy together in future, with a deed of trust in place if you want.
Edited by F20CN16 on Monday 4th October 22:08
I could see a scenario whereby the house was re-valued in the future and the whole gain would be split- Given current value vs purchase price that would be a big kick in the nads!
Firstly, congratulations on being about to move in together! That's the main thing and you need to make sure it's about that, the other discussions are important but they're secondary to the fact that you both want to move in together.
It's difficult as each option has pros and cons and those change depending on how the situation unfolds. I went through a similar situation and I think it's important to share your concerns, both that you don't want to be the only one paying bills (whilst his other property is making money) and that you also don't want to risk losing a share of your property. Equally, he'll have concerns as well, perhaps not wanting to end up homeless because you want him to leave and his property is occupied or that he's nervous about paying half of your mortgage for no equity, both could be valid concerns. It's worth having a conversation about this and being open to the fact that there isn't a perfect way to do this.
I think the duration is important to consider as well, something that you may be happy with for 6 months could be different in 2 or 5 years and that's ok. Whatever you do agree, perhaps say that you'll review it in a few years but that whatever you decide then, won't change anything that you've agreed between now and then, only going forward from that point.
Consider what you split and how much of it. For example splitting the capital repayment part of the mortgage may not sit well with him long term. Splitting the interest part of your payments and bills may be more acceptable to both of you as a middle ground.
It's difficult as each option has pros and cons and those change depending on how the situation unfolds. I went through a similar situation and I think it's important to share your concerns, both that you don't want to be the only one paying bills (whilst his other property is making money) and that you also don't want to risk losing a share of your property. Equally, he'll have concerns as well, perhaps not wanting to end up homeless because you want him to leave and his property is occupied or that he's nervous about paying half of your mortgage for no equity, both could be valid concerns. It's worth having a conversation about this and being open to the fact that there isn't a perfect way to do this.
I think the duration is important to consider as well, something that you may be happy with for 6 months could be different in 2 or 5 years and that's ok. Whatever you do agree, perhaps say that you'll review it in a few years but that whatever you decide then, won't change anything that you've agreed between now and then, only going forward from that point.
Consider what you split and how much of it. For example splitting the capital repayment part of the mortgage may not sit well with him long term. Splitting the interest part of your payments and bills may be more acceptable to both of you as a middle ground.
When I moved in with my gf (now married to her) I had recently divorced and was selling my own house. I moved in with her on the understanding that I would pay half of all the bills and nothing towards the mortgage payment as then I have no claim over it. She had already paid a chunk off her mortgage and it wouldn't be fair that I could benefit from that. We then jointly bought a new home and moved into it, splitting all bills and mortgage 50/50. Her old house is rented out and thats now extra private income for her.
You position is slightly different ad your partner has a property. However when my missus moved in, I covered the mortgage, she paid for half of council tax/household bills and food, as a direct cash payment to me...(was only around £150/month).
You position is different as your partner will be profiting from the rental income from their property, maybe charge them for rent as if they were renting a room. Clearly you allowing them to moving in is facilitating them to realise profit.
You position is different as your partner will be profiting from the rental income from their property, maybe charge them for rent as if they were renting a room. Clearly you allowing them to moving in is facilitating them to realise profit.
Great to hear you are moving in together, sad to hear you have to think about potentially breaking up at what should be an exciting time.
Split all bills excluding mortgage (you already pay it anyway so won't change your situation)
His net rental income should be added to his income.
Split the bills according to % net income split. i.e. yours excluding mortgage and his including the net proceeds.
My wife and I treat family finances as a business, do a true up every few years and check that the split is reflective of income, keeps money out of any argument.
Split all bills excluding mortgage (you already pay it anyway so won't change your situation)
His net rental income should be added to his income.
Split the bills according to % net income split. i.e. yours excluding mortgage and his including the net proceeds.
My wife and I treat family finances as a business, do a true up every few years and check that the split is reflective of income, keeps money out of any argument.
Similar thread recently, except chap potentially moving his 'girlfiend' in..
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
When I met my GF, she rented a house, and I owned my house outright (no mortgage).
When she moved in, we opened a bank account together and started paying both our salaries into the one account, and all our bills and general spending came out of that one account. Whatever was left over each month she moved into a new joint savings account.
My income has always been higher than hers, sometimes double, but we treat all income and saving as 'ours' and all spending as 'ours'.
After a few years of being together, we consolidated the savings and ISA's etc that we both had before we met, into one set of savings along with what we had saved while together.
I can only speak for myself, but we found that to be the simplest and easiest way of doing things, and it avoided the whole 'mine and yours' thing with regards to money or purchases. Everything is just 'ours'. We both work together for what we have, and we never argue about money.
We are now married (4 years), and been together 10 years overall. Now in a new house and both names on the deeds etc.
Just thought I would give my own perspective/experience. Everyone is different and people need to do what is right for themselves.
When she moved in, we opened a bank account together and started paying both our salaries into the one account, and all our bills and general spending came out of that one account. Whatever was left over each month she moved into a new joint savings account.
My income has always been higher than hers, sometimes double, but we treat all income and saving as 'ours' and all spending as 'ours'.
After a few years of being together, we consolidated the savings and ISA's etc that we both had before we met, into one set of savings along with what we had saved while together.
I can only speak for myself, but we found that to be the simplest and easiest way of doing things, and it avoided the whole 'mine and yours' thing with regards to money or purchases. Everything is just 'ours'. We both work together for what we have, and we never argue about money.
We are now married (4 years), and been together 10 years overall. Now in a new house and both names on the deeds etc.
Just thought I would give my own perspective/experience. Everyone is different and people need to do what is right for themselves.
Edited by anonymous-user on Tuesday 5th October 11:12
Lord Marylebone said:
When I met my GF, she rented a house, and I owned my house outright (no mortgage).
When she moved in, we opened a bank account together and started paying both our salaries into the one account, and all our bills and general spending came out of that one account. Whatever was left over each month she moved into a new joint savings account.
My income has always been higher than hers, sometimes double, but we treat all income and saving as 'ours' and all spending as 'ours'.
After a few years of being together, we consolidated the savings and ISA's etc that we both had before we met, into one set of savings along with what we had saved while together.
I can only speak for myself, but we found that to be the simplest and easiest way of doing things, and it avoided the whole 'mine and yours' thing with regards to money or purchases. Everything is just 'ours'. We both work together for what we have, and we never argue about money.
We are now married (4 years), and been together 10 years overall. Now in a new house and both names on the deeds etc.
Just thought I would give my own perspective/experience. Everyone is different and people need to do what is right for themselves.
No right or wrong is there really - I took a similar approach in my last relationship but didnt get the equality bit right. Ended up burnt, but if it works its a nice way of just treating things as simply as possible.When she moved in, we opened a bank account together and started paying both our salaries into the one account, and all our bills and general spending came out of that one account. Whatever was left over each month she moved into a new joint savings account.
My income has always been higher than hers, sometimes double, but we treat all income and saving as 'ours' and all spending as 'ours'.
After a few years of being together, we consolidated the savings and ISA's etc that we both had before we met, into one set of savings along with what we had saved while together.
I can only speak for myself, but we found that to be the simplest and easiest way of doing things, and it avoided the whole 'mine and yours' thing with regards to money or purchases. Everything is just 'ours'. We both work together for what we have, and we never argue about money.
We are now married (4 years), and been together 10 years overall. Now in a new house and both names on the deeds etc.
Just thought I would give my own perspective/experience. Everyone is different and people need to do what is right for themselves.
Edited by Lord Marylebone on Tuesday 5th October 11:12
Out of interest do you set budgets or anything so your on same page?
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