And so it begins, xmas
Discussion
Family's and xmas you've got to love them.
I've been informed by my mother that my SiL has a brother who lives abroad staying over at xmas. She has never seen him more than twice in the last 10 years as far as I know.
They have asked my parents who live miles away and closer to me that they can't get down on xmas day but have asked if this brother can come with the whole family when they stay on boxing day. The situation thickens with is as apparently this Long distance brother wants to find work in the area (sounds like tosh tbh).
I was asked "what are we thinking of doing for xmas (I have kids)" then being told the above, with me saying "what so is he going to stay in a hotel? (due to space constraints)" but no, it sounds like my mother is happy "to put this long distance family member up" for Boxing Day having never even met him!
I left the discussion at "I dont know yet what we are doing"...however I've made my decision on this that we'll skip visiting as im not very impressed with the circumstances of this.
What do you think here, am I being a bit OTT?
I've been informed by my mother that my SiL has a brother who lives abroad staying over at xmas. She has never seen him more than twice in the last 10 years as far as I know.
They have asked my parents who live miles away and closer to me that they can't get down on xmas day but have asked if this brother can come with the whole family when they stay on boxing day. The situation thickens with is as apparently this Long distance brother wants to find work in the area (sounds like tosh tbh).
I was asked "what are we thinking of doing for xmas (I have kids)" then being told the above, with me saying "what so is he going to stay in a hotel? (due to space constraints)" but no, it sounds like my mother is happy "to put this long distance family member up" for Boxing Day having never even met him!
I left the discussion at "I dont know yet what we are doing"...however I've made my decision on this that we'll skip visiting as im not very impressed with the circumstances of this.
What do you think here, am I being a bit OTT?
k right off and then fFirst of all, may I wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. I hope 2021 beings all of your wishes and dreams to life (ahem!)
Its about now when our family start to work on the logistics- we have both parents still and both have siblings, so thats 5 families to juggle. Someone needs to act first and pitch their tent in the sand, then everyone can work around this. Who stays where? For how long? Will some distant relative be snubbed if it "was their turn"
Best bet is to wait to be invited...
...or hide under a rock for the duation!
Its about now when our family start to work on the logistics- we have both parents still and both have siblings, so thats 5 families to juggle. Someone needs to act first and pitch their tent in the sand, then everyone can work around this. Who stays where? For how long? Will some distant relative be snubbed if it "was their turn"
Best bet is to wait to be invited...
...or hide under a rock for the duation!
I’m scheduled to work the late shift at work both Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
Perfect….spend Christmas morning at home with the wife and kids, disappear off to work and don’t have to take part in any other family/in law obligations which I really don’t enjoy.
Doesn’t help the OP at all, but works very well for me.
Perfect….spend Christmas morning at home with the wife and kids, disappear off to work and don’t have to take part in any other family/in law obligations which I really don’t enjoy.
Doesn’t help the OP at all, but works very well for me.
I don't like to leave the house on Xmas Day, and don't really want anyone visiting me either. But I don't always get my way. This year I'm telling family that I'm working from home on Xmas Day (I'm not) so that prevents me from having to spend the day at any relatives house, and will keep any of their visits to mine brief.
Sounds bah humbug I know, but I really do love to spend Xmas at home sitting in front of the TV all day. It's my Xmas, so I'll do as I please
Sounds bah humbug I know, but I really do love to spend Xmas at home sitting in front of the TV all day. It's my Xmas, so I'll do as I please
My wife and I used to drive down to Devon (2 1/2 hours of hard driving) to have Christmas lunch with her parents and sister, BIL etc. Neither of us wanted to go but we were there to satisfy my wife's sense of obligation It was a pretty indifferent experience at best, and mildly horrendous on occasion.
Both the parents have passed away now and we haven't been to Devon for a good many years
. Christmas lunch is now taken in front of the TV with a good film on and exactly what we want on our plates, with no discernible resemblance to standard Christmas food.
Both the parents have passed away now and we haven't been to Devon for a good many years
. Christmas lunch is now taken in front of the TV with a good film on and exactly what we want on our plates, with no discernible resemblance to standard Christmas food.In answer to the OP,s question as everyone so far has been me me me and are ignoring it, I don't think you are, and in fact I would suspect it is the first part of a planned move to have an extended stay at your mothers while he job hunts, then house hunts.
In fact he will probably still be there next Christmas.
In fact he will probably still be there next Christmas.
To avoid such shenanigans as the OP mentions is the reason we go away every Christmas (a few days beforehand) and return after new year.
Problem solved and I get a nice holiday.
Last year was awful thanks to the restrictions on movement!
I don’t think you’re OTT OP it all sounds very odd and very accommodating for what is tantamount to a complete stranger in reality.
Problem solved and I get a nice holiday.
Last year was awful thanks to the restrictions on movement!
I don’t think you’re OTT OP it all sounds very odd and very accommodating for what is tantamount to a complete stranger in reality.
fourstardan said:
Family's and xmas you've got to love them.
I've been informed by my mother that my SiL has a brother who lives abroad staying over at xmas. She has never seen him more than twice in the last 10 years as far as I know.
I see no mention of your fatherI've been informed by my mother that my SiL has a brother who lives abroad staying over at xmas. She has never seen him more than twice in the last 10 years as far as I know.
I am therefore speculating that the brother of the SIL may be being presented as an athletic chap who can go the extra mile and may end up as your stepfather
You are not being in any way awkward
I hope your Xmas is great for you
Edited by anonymoususer on Wednesday 10th November 22:30
x5tuu said:
To avoid such shenanigans as the OP mentions is the reason we go away every Christmas (a few days beforehand) and return after new year.
Problem solved and I get a nice holiday.
Last year was awful thanks to the restrictions on movement!
I don’t think you’re OTT OP it all sounds very odd and very accommodating for what is tantamount to a complete stranger in reality.
Its not far off the plot of an Agatha Christy thing with an imposter assuming the id of the long lost BILProblem solved and I get a nice holiday.
Last year was awful thanks to the restrictions on movement!
I don’t think you’re OTT OP it all sounds very odd and very accommodating for what is tantamount to a complete stranger in reality.
bern said:
Wife and 2 kids, Outer Hebrides, cottage, wood burner.
Sorted.
The only stress is smuggling the presents up there!
surely Santa wont know your address? They do offer early delivery...so the secret could be kept if they delivery early, but you have been told by ***ALL** the elves not to open then until the day itself??Sorted.
The only stress is smuggling the presents up there!
williamp said:
bern said:
Wife and 2 kids, Outer Hebrides, cottage, wood burner.
Sorted.
The only stress is smuggling the presents up there!
surely Santa wont know your address? They do offer early delivery...so the secret could be kept if they delivery early, but you have been told by ***ALL** the elves not to open then until the day itself??Sorted.
The only stress is smuggling the presents up there!
I prefer to think the best of people. Presumably, if the SiL has seen the brother twice in the last ten years he has gone home.
If a guest who is remotely in the family is staying over Christmas to abandon them or tell them to get out is in my opinion rude. It's family time. Meet some new people.
If a guest who is remotely in the family is staying over Christmas to abandon them or tell them to get out is in my opinion rude. It's family time. Meet some new people.
Going away is a good option, but then we like to avoid other family events in the run up to xmas lol.
It's the whole cheek of the situation and lack of consideration for my side i'm cheesed off with here along with a mother who has nothing else to worry about 6 weeks before what is nothing more than a profits drive by companies.
I also have a useless FiL when it comes to family get togethers but that is another story.
Thanks for the comedy and the more sensible views.
It's the whole cheek of the situation and lack of consideration for my side i'm cheesed off with here along with a mother who has nothing else to worry about 6 weeks before what is nothing more than a profits drive by companies.
I also have a useless FiL when it comes to family get togethers but that is another story.
Thanks for the comedy and the more sensible views.
I hate Christmas. It just evokes bad memories. Fortunately, this year is going to be quite different.
My parnter (and her family) is originally from South East London (we live in Newcastle). I've not met the full compliment of family yet, just the parents. This year we are going to travel to London on Christmas Eve and stay 4 nights in a hotel.
This makes a pleasant change, although my grandma's birthday is on Boxing Day, and that usually entails the whole family celebrating at her house on that day, I'll miss seeing her on her 84th birthday, but I won't miss dealing with my insane narcissist aunt that lives with her.
I'd quite happily sack the whole thing off for a day of dog walking and tv.
My parnter (and her family) is originally from South East London (we live in Newcastle). I've not met the full compliment of family yet, just the parents. This year we are going to travel to London on Christmas Eve and stay 4 nights in a hotel.
This makes a pleasant change, although my grandma's birthday is on Boxing Day, and that usually entails the whole family celebrating at her house on that day, I'll miss seeing her on her 84th birthday, but I won't miss dealing with my insane narcissist aunt that lives with her.
I'd quite happily sack the whole thing off for a day of dog walking and tv.
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