What’s your ideal life?
Discussion
Evening all,
As per the title I’m looking for some inspiration and interested to know what drives others.
Bit of background. I’m 40 and recently divorced after 17 years. Own a couple of businesses so I’m stable financially but don’t seem to have the drive to really go hard on anything. Seem to have lost some purpose as is probably normal under the circumstances.
No kids and don’t particularly want any.
Interested in any responses.
As per the title I’m looking for some inspiration and interested to know what drives others.
Bit of background. I’m 40 and recently divorced after 17 years. Own a couple of businesses so I’m stable financially but don’t seem to have the drive to really go hard on anything. Seem to have lost some purpose as is probably normal under the circumstances.
No kids and don’t particularly want any.
Interested in any responses.
Can you leave the businesses on autopilot, the house mothballed or with family/friends looking after it/renting?
If you can answer yes to these things, maybe try travelling, not the hipster kind unless you want to do the campervan thing maybe, but i mean actually travelling around, working or volunteering and just seeing that the grass might never be greener, but there really is a lot of different grass.
It might not solve your problems and you might hate it, but if you can honestly put things on hold and use that financial sensibility you've practiced in getting this far, you'll see something different in other places living with normal or slightly alternative people and helping them either run their business/hostel, build something or help people fix some off the wall cars (I helped fix up a trabant 601s, wired up the "Light machine" wrong and fried a brand new alternator and had to put back in the old generator/dynamo thing to much derision).
If it interest you at all go look at www.helpx.net give it a browse (it's ok for free, subscribing when you get interested allows you to see reviews and a lot more background to what you might be throwing yourself into).
If you can answer yes to these things, maybe try travelling, not the hipster kind unless you want to do the campervan thing maybe, but i mean actually travelling around, working or volunteering and just seeing that the grass might never be greener, but there really is a lot of different grass.
It might not solve your problems and you might hate it, but if you can honestly put things on hold and use that financial sensibility you've practiced in getting this far, you'll see something different in other places living with normal or slightly alternative people and helping them either run their business/hostel, build something or help people fix some off the wall cars (I helped fix up a trabant 601s, wired up the "Light machine" wrong and fried a brand new alternator and had to put back in the old generator/dynamo thing to much derision).
If it interest you at all go look at www.helpx.net give it a browse (it's ok for free, subscribing when you get interested allows you to see reviews and a lot more background to what you might be throwing yourself into).
Racing cars is the thing for me. A stupidly expensive hobby that carries personal and financial risks and involves a huge commitment of time preparing, in exchange for a relatively small amount of time "doing".
But the doing is utterly compelling, the one part of my life where my mind is focused on just one thing.
But the doing is utterly compelling, the one part of my life where my mind is focused on just one thing.
grumbledoak said:
austinsmirk said:
Living in a new build with a fat wife and leased cars, collecting Star Wars memorabilia, watching football and voting for UKIP. And planning my next tattoo because they’re all so meaningful.
That was an unexpectedly insightful and helpful post. 
Just after a divorce is an odd time. You have a settled life and then suddenly things are up in the air again and you have choices you didn't expect to have.
Speaking from the other side, I would say don't rush, you might try a few things out first and see what you really like.
Take some time to think about what you actually enjoy. The sense of ennui you are feeling is just a little sadness for what has been lost, it will pass.
A change of scene definitely helped me, I left the UK after mine and just took a year or two to get some perspective.
tless within a week. Have a job I love but wish I didn’t need to do it for the money. Have a house I love but really only need it for the voluntary work I do. Have a boat where I spend my weekends living off grid. Spend odd weekends wild camping, taking camper van to the coast or on other road trips. Have three kids who are finding their way in the world and influencing and changing attitudes. Simple but happy.
Thinking about my retirement, in an ideal world I'd have a decent place in London and a decent place maybe a couple of hours away. I don't mind leaving the city for a change of scene but I suspect I'd get bored if I stayed away too long.
Maybe I'd need to find some sort of happy medium - some sort of busy market town with stuff going on.
I know for a fact that the small village/proper rural stuff would drive me insane. Been there, done that, never again.
Maybe I'd need to find some sort of happy medium - some sort of busy market town with stuff going on.
I know for a fact that the small village/proper rural stuff would drive me insane. Been there, done that, never again.
freenote said:
Bit of background. I’m 40 and recently divorced after 17 years.
You need to realise that anything you do on the rebound, will probably just be temporary, and is a healthy part of moving on.I separated after 16 years of marriage, and took another 4 to actually get divorced. That first year after separation was all about putting me first, with lots of emphasis on diet, cycling, and tinder. Lots and lots of tinder.
Have some fun and enjoy your own freedom before making any big decisions.
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