Step parents and wills
Discussion
Anyone have experience of step parents and wills....... before i contact a local CIB for any advice
Our father passed away in Feb 21
Our step mother from hell (why did he marry it), since day of his death went into complete silence and was only advised of the crem date by his best friend (only person she had invited - excuse was only 6 people allowed due to covid rules .........
Any response to see our fathers will have been met with complete silence...
Myself, older brother & younger sister are his only blood relatives still alive and appreciate the house would go to the step mother (shes done well there), however we did get on well with our father and he wasnt the type to not have had things planned out.....
Any views or people had experience of similar?
Our father passed away in Feb 21
Our step mother from hell (why did he marry it), since day of his death went into complete silence and was only advised of the crem date by his best friend (only person she had invited - excuse was only 6 people allowed due to covid rules .........
Any response to see our fathers will have been met with complete silence...
Myself, older brother & younger sister are his only blood relatives still alive and appreciate the house would go to the step mother (shes done well there), however we did get on well with our father and he wasnt the type to not have had things planned out.....
Any views or people had experience of similar?
If she’s the executor and the sole inheritor then I don’t think she has to tell anyone the contents and you need to wait for probate etc.
Are you thinking there is a will but it might have been “lost” or that there might not actually be a will at all?
I think if none of you were told about the existence of a will then there’s probably not a huge amount you can do beyond trying to get a response from her.
Is there a way you can ask the friend who was invited to the funeral to ask her on your behalf?
Are you thinking there is a will but it might have been “lost” or that there might not actually be a will at all?
I think if none of you were told about the existence of a will then there’s probably not a huge amount you can do beyond trying to get a response from her.
Is there a way you can ask the friend who was invited to the funeral to ask her on your behalf?
I have no advice but am in a similar position.
The whole system seems flawed - even once you know it can be tough. With my FiL, my wife was left a share of the estate. However, there seems to be no why to establish that it was done completely & fairly. I couldn't find any concept of final probate accounts being filed anywhere, let alone being able to view them.
The whole system seems flawed - even once you know it can be tough. With my FiL, my wife was left a share of the estate. However, there seems to be no why to establish that it was done completely & fairly. I couldn't find any concept of final probate accounts being filed anywhere, let alone being able to view them.
Surely the solution is for parents to keep their kids informed?
Admittedly my dad is quite a practical person but he sat us down everal years ago and said “this is how everything is going to be divided up” That way we were all clear on who was going to get what. (He’s actually managed to give most of it away whilst he’s still around but had the worst happened he didnt want his kids to be bickering over the will)
Admittedly my dad is quite a practical person but he sat us down everal years ago and said “this is how everything is going to be divided up” That way we were all clear on who was going to get what. (He’s actually managed to give most of it away whilst he’s still around but had the worst happened he didnt want his kids to be bickering over the will)
Step parents can result in very odd financial outcomes for families.
A friend of mine got left millions while the rest of the family were frozen out. The father had 3 children from a first marriage, got divorced, then married a younger 'b
h from hell' (BFH) woman, who absolutely hated the original three kids and essentially instructed the father to avoid them, and his ex-wife, as much as possible.
The father and the new BFH wife had a son.
The father died and his will left everything to the BFH.
The BFH then died, and left absolutely everything to her son, while the fathers 'original' 3 children (now with grand children), plus ex-wife, were totally ignored by the step mother and didn't get a penny.
A friend of mine got left millions while the rest of the family were frozen out. The father had 3 children from a first marriage, got divorced, then married a younger 'b
h from hell' (BFH) woman, who absolutely hated the original three kids and essentially instructed the father to avoid them, and his ex-wife, as much as possible.The father and the new BFH wife had a son.
The father died and his will left everything to the BFH.
The BFH then died, and left absolutely everything to her son, while the fathers 'original' 3 children (now with grand children), plus ex-wife, were totally ignored by the step mother and didn't get a penny.
I believe that if your father made a will that this would be effectively voided when he remarried. A new will bwould be required or he would be treated as dying intestate at which point the widow gets the lot.
Some guidance here. https://lewisnedas.co.uk/newsroom/blog/wills-trust...
IANAL
Some guidance here. https://lewisnedas.co.uk/newsroom/blog/wills-trust...
IANAL
Starfighter said:
I believe that if your father made a will that this would be effectively voided when he remarried. A new will bwould be required or he would be treated as dying intestate at which point the widow gets the lot.
Some guidance here. https://lewisnedas.co.uk/newsroom/blog/wills-trust...
IANAL
You're right I think about marriage invalidating an existing will, but dying intestate does not mean spouse gets the lot. I think spouse gets first £250K or something, then kids come into the equation. Some guidance here. https://lewisnedas.co.uk/newsroom/blog/wills-trust...
IANAL
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Starfighter said:
I believe that if your father made a will that this would be effectively voided when he remarried. A new will bwould be required or he would be treated as dying intestate at which point the widow gets the lot.
Some guidance here. https://lewisnedas.co.uk/newsroom/blog/wills-trust...
IANAL
You're right I think about marriage invalidating an existing will, but dying intestate does not mean spouse gets the lot. I think spouse gets first £250K or something, then kids come into the equation. Some guidance here. https://lewisnedas.co.uk/newsroom/blog/wills-trust...
IANAL
I doubt a solicitor is under any obligation to disclose whether they acted for someone, even less that they would disclose the contents of a will - however, some are more user friendly than others, and maybe forthcoming if a beneficiary has not been contacted?
Pure guesswork on my part.
Sorry for you loss.
Not easy to deal with at the best of times.
You may have more luck with this issue if you ask the mods to move it to SP&L.
You need professional legal advice and there are a few genuine legal bods who respond in SP&L.
Obviously you'll attract some of the regulars, but that's all part of the joy of PH.
Not easy to deal with at the best of times.
You may have more luck with this issue if you ask the mods to move it to SP&L.
You need professional legal advice and there are a few genuine legal bods who respond in SP&L.
Obviously you'll attract some of the regulars, but that's all part of the joy of PH.
I had pretty much the same thing when my dad died a couple of years ago.
I found his will here:
https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/
Solicitor told me that it meant she got everything and I wasn't entitled to anything. My dad had told me that he would make sure I 'was looked after' and she knew that.
Couple of weeks later her son emailed me and asked if would take a few grand and never have anything to do with her again. As I hated her I gladly accepted!
Hope you get things sorted OP.
I found his will here:
https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/
Solicitor told me that it meant she got everything and I wasn't entitled to anything. My dad had told me that he would make sure I 'was looked after' and she knew that.
Couple of weeks later her son emailed me and asked if would take a few grand and never have anything to do with her again. As I hated her I gladly accepted!
Hope you get things sorted OP.
I'm really sorry to hear that OP and sadly my experience was virtually identical.
My father died 4 years ago, at the time he had two blood sons (my brother has since died) and two adopted children with his 3rd wife (I'll use the term BFH as it was used in a previous post and is very apt). All of the children are adults and not financially dependent.
He had been ill for some time but I still saw him every few weeks as we played cards regularly with a group of friends. He was ill with COPD (lung failure) and I knew he didn't have long but BFH didn't even tell me he was in hospital, I found out from another relative and managed to get to see him for the three days before he died. When I questioned BFH as to why she hadn't contacted me to tell me dad was dying she claimed I was difficult to contact! (I have lived in the same house with the same contact numbers and email for the last 17 years, I had even texted dad to try and sort out a card game shortly before he went into hospital).
After he died it turned out that dad had apparently changed his will 6 months before he died. In effect his will left everything to BFH (as I expected) but also that on her death everything was to pass to 'my two children John Smith and Jane Smith' (her two children, that he had adopted). Me and my briother were not even mentioned in the will. It was a 7 page will, he had signed the last page. I strongly suspect that BFH changed page 4 to remove me and my brother, although obviously I cannot prove that.
I got a copy of the will from the probate department after it had been lodged (cost £10). I took legal advice at the time and was told that unless me or my brother were financially dependent on him or could prove that we were beneficiaries under a previous will there was absolutely nothing we could do. I think you have 6 months from the date probate is granted to challenge a will, although I may be wrong, BUT if you were not financially dependent on your father there is probably little chance of success.
I'm sorry for your loss OP but I suspect that there is little you can do if his will leaves you nothing.
I have only seen BFH once since my father's funeral, she was crossing a pedestrian crossing I had stopped at, I considered letting my foot accidentally slip from the brake to the accelerator but decided she wasn't worth it.
My father died 4 years ago, at the time he had two blood sons (my brother has since died) and two adopted children with his 3rd wife (I'll use the term BFH as it was used in a previous post and is very apt). All of the children are adults and not financially dependent.
He had been ill for some time but I still saw him every few weeks as we played cards regularly with a group of friends. He was ill with COPD (lung failure) and I knew he didn't have long but BFH didn't even tell me he was in hospital, I found out from another relative and managed to get to see him for the three days before he died. When I questioned BFH as to why she hadn't contacted me to tell me dad was dying she claimed I was difficult to contact! (I have lived in the same house with the same contact numbers and email for the last 17 years, I had even texted dad to try and sort out a card game shortly before he went into hospital).
After he died it turned out that dad had apparently changed his will 6 months before he died. In effect his will left everything to BFH (as I expected) but also that on her death everything was to pass to 'my two children John Smith and Jane Smith' (her two children, that he had adopted). Me and my briother were not even mentioned in the will. It was a 7 page will, he had signed the last page. I strongly suspect that BFH changed page 4 to remove me and my brother, although obviously I cannot prove that.
I got a copy of the will from the probate department after it had been lodged (cost £10). I took legal advice at the time and was told that unless me or my brother were financially dependent on him or could prove that we were beneficiaries under a previous will there was absolutely nothing we could do. I think you have 6 months from the date probate is granted to challenge a will, although I may be wrong, BUT if you were not financially dependent on your father there is probably little chance of success.
I'm sorry for your loss OP but I suspect that there is little you can do if his will leaves you nothing.
I have only seen BFH once since my father's funeral, she was crossing a pedestrian crossing I had stopped at, I considered letting my foot accidentally slip from the brake to the accelerator but decided she wasn't worth it.
Edited by Enut on Monday 15th November 22:52
From what I have read on this subject a few years ago - as its of personal interest to me - the bottom line is once they are husband and wife your "rights" to inheritance are vastly reduced unless its planned for correctly.
I think the folks this hits hardest is when wife 1 passes away and husband 1 goes on to wife 2. This means kids of marriage 1 could be left with nothing if husband 1 dies leaving everything to wife 2.
In cases where husband 1 and wife 1 are still alive but divorce the kids generally get a better deal as wife 1 can leave everything to kids from marriage 1.
I think the folks this hits hardest is when wife 1 passes away and husband 1 goes on to wife 2. This means kids of marriage 1 could be left with nothing if husband 1 dies leaving everything to wife 2.
In cases where husband 1 and wife 1 are still alive but divorce the kids generally get a better deal as wife 1 can leave everything to kids from marriage 1.
Of no use to the OP but there is a way of dealing with some of this. Property can be left in a trust so that the children of the first marriage benefit. The surviving partner can still move house, remarry etc without impacting on the trust.
I am in the process of setting this up as my wife has terminal cancer.
I am in the process of setting this up as my wife has terminal cancer.
It’s pretty sad really that some men do this to their kids.
Not that they can’t leave their money to whatever they like, or marry whatever they like... but the fact they leave their kids in this weird limbo and rather than just be clear and potentially unpopular, they leave this mortal coil just offering more confusion and grief for their very own offspring... arguably their most precious thing.
In the final act of death their true self is exhibited.
Running away from being honest, for eternity.
Left with that at a parent’s death you’d start to ask what else weren’t they honest about.
I feel for all those left to this kind of behaviour by their parents.
Not that they can’t leave their money to whatever they like, or marry whatever they like... but the fact they leave their kids in this weird limbo and rather than just be clear and potentially unpopular, they leave this mortal coil just offering more confusion and grief for their very own offspring... arguably their most precious thing.
In the final act of death their true self is exhibited.
Running away from being honest, for eternity.
Left with that at a parent’s death you’d start to ask what else weren’t they honest about.
I feel for all those left to this kind of behaviour by their parents.
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