Positive thinking
Discussion
Just how does one do this?
I've always had a rather pessimistic mind and always think about the negative in most situations, which at the moment is really dragging me down :( I don't think I've ever felt this sad before and there's no real reason for it, just lots of little things.
My family is very close and we've been through a bit of a rough period with my dad having a heart attack a few months ago but that's now passed and he's totally fine. Also, I recently brought my first flat, so live away from home during the week. I go back home at the weekends which I like.
I just can't seem to feel happy at the moment. It's kind of strange really as it's only really started this past week or so, before that I've been fine. It's probably because before I was focused a lot on my dad but now that's passed, and he's ok, I'm left with nothing else on my mind.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, but I just needed somewhere to get it all out in the open. The reality is, I really shouldn't be feeling like this as I've got everything going for me (2 cars, my own place, loving family, good job etc). I just need to somehow tell my mind this, but am stuck on how to do this.
Thanks for reading and any advise is much appreciated :)
I've always had a rather pessimistic mind and always think about the negative in most situations, which at the moment is really dragging me down :( I don't think I've ever felt this sad before and there's no real reason for it, just lots of little things.
My family is very close and we've been through a bit of a rough period with my dad having a heart attack a few months ago but that's now passed and he's totally fine. Also, I recently brought my first flat, so live away from home during the week. I go back home at the weekends which I like.
I just can't seem to feel happy at the moment. It's kind of strange really as it's only really started this past week or so, before that I've been fine. It's probably because before I was focused a lot on my dad but now that's passed, and he's ok, I'm left with nothing else on my mind.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, but I just needed somewhere to get it all out in the open. The reality is, I really shouldn't be feeling like this as I've got everything going for me (2 cars, my own place, loving family, good job etc). I just need to somehow tell my mind this, but am stuck on how to do this.
Thanks for reading and any advise is much appreciated :)
Don't discount the fact that it may be a delayed reaction to your fathers heart attack. Just because his physical condition has settled - your mental condition my just be manifesting.
My advice - take some time to have a think about what happened and "deal" with it the way you think you need to. Can you take yourself off for a drive or something?
My advice - take some time to have a think about what happened and "deal" with it the way you think you need to. Can you take yourself off for a drive or something?
Quite a few people say (and I'd agree with them) that a good bit of regular exercise can really boost your mood. Just don't go mad, you don't want to be unable to move the next day.
A good run, swim or time in the gym can really give your brain a chance to focus on something other than the day's worries and you can come away feeling you've achieved something.
A good run, swim or time in the gym can really give your brain a chance to focus on something other than the day's worries and you can come away feeling you've achieved something.
Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat after me “I am a beautiful person in mind and body. I have good, close, caring friends, a job I enjoy and a home of my own.”
Seriously it’s a 1st class PITA when you are on a downer. What you are feeling now could be a wind down effect of the last few months now that everything appears to have settled down after the shock of your dad’s heart attack.
I always try to have something to look forward to in my life. It can be anything from the next holiday, getting home to finish a particularly good book, the next booty call or the next w/e being ‘mumied’. That way, whatever sh1t life throws at you, you can always say “right once I’ve got through this I’ve got so and so to look forward to.”
BTW I class myself as a realist
>> Edited by Rude-boy on Tuesday 26th July 10:41
Seriously it’s a 1st class PITA when you are on a downer. What you are feeling now could be a wind down effect of the last few months now that everything appears to have settled down after the shock of your dad’s heart attack.
I always try to have something to look forward to in my life. It can be anything from the next holiday, getting home to finish a particularly good book, the next booty call or the next w/e being ‘mumied’. That way, whatever sh1t life throws at you, you can always say “right once I’ve got through this I’ve got so and so to look forward to.”
BTW I class myself as a realist
>> Edited by Rude-boy on Tuesday 26th July 10:41
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy & Prozac.
CBT will enable you to change your worldview. Prozac will keep all the other crap at bay while you learn how.
Edit: Exercise is, of course, good but motivation is most likely lacking - again, this is where the CBT comes in.
>> Edited by CarZee on Tuesday 26th July 10:49
CBT will enable you to change your worldview. Prozac will keep all the other crap at bay while you learn how.
Edit: Exercise is, of course, good but motivation is most likely lacking - again, this is where the CBT comes in.
>> Edited by CarZee on Tuesday 26th July 10:49
Tuna said:
Quite a few people say (and I'd agree with them) that a good bit of regular exercise can really boost your mood. Just don't go mad, you don't want to be unable to move the next day.
A good run, swim or time in the gym can really give your brain a chance to focus on something other than the day's worries and you can come away feeling you've achieved something.
I'm with Tuna. Two other thoughts - handle each day one at a time, and set a medium term goal, like doing the London to Brighton cycle ride - get in training, get sponsors etc.
Take care
Also think about your diet. Lack of vitamins, especially the B vitamins can make you feel down.
Plus, good starchy foods like potatoes, pasta and bread help increase the feel good seratonin levels in your brain, as does chocolate of course!
Definately agree with the exercise too.
Is there someone you trust enough to talk to? Just talking through everything can sometimes un-earth things that you were not aware were bothering you. Once you've found these you can then deal with them.
Plus, good starchy foods like potatoes, pasta and bread help increase the feel good seratonin levels in your brain, as does chocolate of course!
Definately agree with the exercise too.
Is there someone you trust enough to talk to? Just talking through everything can sometimes un-earth things that you were not aware were bothering you. Once you've found these you can then deal with them.
KITT said:
Just how does one do this?
I've always had a rather pessimistic mind and always think about the negative in most situations, which at the moment is really dragging me downI don't think I've ever felt this sad before and there's no real reason for it, just lots of little things.
My family is very close and we've been through a bit of a rough period with my dad having a heart attack a few months ago but that's now passed and he's totally fine. Also, I recently brought my first flat, so live away from home during the week. I go back home at the weekends which I like.
I just can't seem to feel happy at the moment. It's kind of strange really as it's only really started this past week or so, before that I've been fine. It's probably because before I was focused a lot on my dad but now that's passed, and he's ok, I'm left with nothing else on my mind.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this, but I just needed somewhere to get it all out in the open. The reality is, I really shouldn't be feeling like this as I've got everything going for me (2 cars, my own place, loving family, good job etc). I just need to somehow tell my mind this, but am stuck on how to do this.
Thanks for reading and any advise is much appreciated
"Sweet and sour" "Black and White"
I look at life like a graph,there is a straight line down the middle and either side there are ups and down i work it on a scale of 1+ to 10+ and 1- to 10-,,have you ever noticed how some people that are really happy can have really big troughs of lowness,imo they go from either end of the scale 10+ to 10- bit like manic depressives.
Also there are people that are negative all the time that pick fault in what others do and dont have an optimistic view of any thing,no dreams or aspirations,IMO they spend all ther time in the minus's and are frightened to climb out,they play it safe with picking on others but ask them to get on the dance floor and let it all loose and they wont for fear of looking stupid,,cursed by their own rules!!,they are trapped in thier own depression.
Life to me is a constant re-address of situations,,i take myself here as ime the only person i know,,i wear my heart on my sleeve and am very open with me feelings but honest i also used to have extreme feelings that gave a lot of highs and a lot of lows,but not as many as a Manic.
Every now and again i have to assess myself and readdress my situation(and its very hard to be honest)if i can keep my life balanced without too many extremes of highs and lows and allow myself to dip to -5 and up to +5 ,(my 10+ is reserved for achieving, lottery wins
and my 10- is for illness's, bereavements) You yourself sound like you have hit a few 10's what with your Dads Heart attack and the elation of buying your flat ,and you are probably looking for the next 10+ or 10- to compensate the anticlimax you are now feeling.
Take time out and allow your self time to catch up,try to be honest and look at areas where you are being to extreme also areas where you are not up as they should be and try to get that straight line again with the slight ups and the slight lows now and again but be aware that if you spend to much time in the minus's you might need help to readress your balance,,,be patient with yourself and allow for setbacks,,You can never talk enough ,and be very open with your family on how you feel,,that in itself will make you feel better,Good Luck.
People who are negative are generally negative for a reason (beyond their physiological predisposition).
In many instances, usually unknown to the bearer, this is down to the fact that they are not happy with what they are doing with your life and have not achieved what they wanted, or even their perception of what their parents wanted them to achieve.
One thing to ask yourself is: "What would I rather be doing that would make me happy RIGHT NOW?"
Why are you on Pistonheads? would you rather be on a beach drinking cocktails? Or climbing a mountain, feeding some pigeons, reading a French novel, designing a new elbometer gadget? Etc? You need to follow your dreams, then actually write down a plan to make it happen. The put that plan into motion by doing it. Then you won't have time to be negative.
Try it - it might work
In many instances, usually unknown to the bearer, this is down to the fact that they are not happy with what they are doing with your life and have not achieved what they wanted, or even their perception of what their parents wanted them to achieve.
One thing to ask yourself is: "What would I rather be doing that would make me happy RIGHT NOW?"
Why are you on Pistonheads? would you rather be on a beach drinking cocktails? Or climbing a mountain, feeding some pigeons, reading a French novel, designing a new elbometer gadget? Etc? You need to follow your dreams, then actually write down a plan to make it happen. The put that plan into motion by doing it. Then you won't have time to be negative.
Try it - it might work
Look up more, no I'm not kidding there was an article in the paper the other day about this and said that depressed/pessimistic people spend too much time physically looking down and this is a factor in making them depressed! Apparently if you try to keep a good posture and look up more often you will feel better!
Strange I know, but worth a try and probably the easiest thing to do and requires the least effort, which are both pluses
in my book.
Strange I know, but worth a try and probably the easiest thing to do and requires the least effort, which are both pluses
in my book. The only thing I've found that is guaranteed to make me feel better when I'm down (often) is exercise. I really can't say enough good things about it.
However if your not up for that you have to find something else to keep you busy. The more time I spend thinking about how miserable I am the more miserable I get. Teach yourself a skill, build a kitcar, learn a language. There must be something you've been wanting to do for ages but never got round to, well now's the time.
Also its easy to think that your the only person that feels like that. Try to remeber your not and it seems to get a bit easier.
Good luck.
However if your not up for that you have to find something else to keep you busy. The more time I spend thinking about how miserable I am the more miserable I get. Teach yourself a skill, build a kitcar, learn a language. There must be something you've been wanting to do for ages but never got round to, well now's the time.
Also its easy to think that your the only person that feels like that. Try to remeber your not and it seems to get a bit easier.
Good luck.
Thanks all for the advice
Hadn't considered a delayed reaction to my dad's heart attack. Could be I guess, but now he really is totally fine so is something I'm not even thinking about these days.
Living on my own is certainly something I've never done before for an extended period, so adjusting to this change in lifestyle is a little hard at the moment. I'm hoping it'll get easier as time goes on, but at the moment I can't see it.
Exercise is something I've not done in quite a while! I do take our dog for a walk at the weekends for a couple of hours, but it's not exactly strenuous. Perhaps a run in the evening might be a good idea.
I have spoke to my parents about how I'm feeling last weekend and they're as understanding as you would expect, but obviously don't have all the answers (I felt a bit bad about telling them really, as they're under a lot of stress at the moment with my dad's mother knocking on death's door They're having to sell her flat to pay for the residential home she's now moved into. As you can imagine, there's quite a lot paperwork, organisation etc.)
As to my general life outlook, my job's a little slow at the moment, but I do go through phases of loving it and finding it boring. Already built a kitcar, and would love to build another one! Trouble is, at the moment I don't have the room (or cash) to do so.
Ultimately, I would love to be able to buy a small house, in a small village, outside of the city I'm currently in, with a garage so I can build another car, host BBQs for my friends and generally do up. This is my realistic ideal life and what I want to achieve as soon as possible really.
Hadn't considered a delayed reaction to my dad's heart attack. Could be I guess, but now he really is totally fine so is something I'm not even thinking about these days.
Living on my own is certainly something I've never done before for an extended period, so adjusting to this change in lifestyle is a little hard at the moment. I'm hoping it'll get easier as time goes on, but at the moment I can't see it.
Exercise is something I've not done in quite a while! I do take our dog for a walk at the weekends for a couple of hours, but it's not exactly strenuous. Perhaps a run in the evening might be a good idea.
I have spoke to my parents about how I'm feeling last weekend and they're as understanding as you would expect, but obviously don't have all the answers (I felt a bit bad about telling them really, as they're under a lot of stress at the moment with my dad's mother knocking on death's door
They're having to sell her flat to pay for the residential home she's now moved into. As you can imagine, there's quite a lot paperwork, organisation etc.) As to my general life outlook, my job's a little slow at the moment, but I do go through phases of loving it and finding it boring. Already built a kitcar, and would love to build another one! Trouble is, at the moment I don't have the room (or cash) to do so.
Ultimately, I would love to be able to buy a small house, in a small village, outside of the city I'm currently in, with a garage so I can build another car, host BBQs for my friends and generally do up. This is my realistic ideal life and what I want to achieve as soon as possible really.
KITT said:
Thanks all for the advice
Best decision ive ever made and once you get used to it its going to be hard to revert back,i can lay under my car till stupid o'clock,have freinds round till whenever
,dont get "your not on that PC again", i feel its good to have time on your own mind you there is a down side at the moment ime ironing It Sounds like you like challenges,ever run a marathon?,i did a half marathon once and boy is it a challenge.
I would see your GP and get him to put you on a course of anti-depressants.
Sometimes, you can be depressed / down for no other reason than your brain is chemically inclined to it! (low-seratonin etc)
Also - do do do stuff, as mulling over things and over-analysing can make you feel even worse.
You say in your post that 'you are a pessimist ..' etc, but you need to realise that depression comes along and brings a whole host of behaviours and conditions with it, like a cold brings a snotty nose. It is not necessarily You. And like a cough can be treated so can these things which have a debilitating effect on your life just now.
I would have no more hesitation or shame taking happy pills than I would taking ibuprofen for a headache. If it lets you get on with your life unimpeded.
Good luck
Sometimes, you can be depressed / down for no other reason than your brain is chemically inclined to it! (low-seratonin etc)
Also - do do do stuff, as mulling over things and over-analysing can make you feel even worse.
You say in your post that 'you are a pessimist ..' etc, but you need to realise that depression comes along and brings a whole host of behaviours and conditions with it, like a cold brings a snotty nose. It is not necessarily You. And like a cough can be treated so can these things which have a debilitating effect on your life just now.
I would have no more hesitation or shame taking happy pills than I would taking ibuprofen for a headache. If it lets you get on with your life unimpeded.
Good luck
They take a few weeks to kick in and take care of all the little stuff that gets disproportionately important when you're suffering from depression, so you can then get on with life.
Also, you can be inclined to depression for no obvious reason whatsoever, that is when they are useful.
Also, you can be inclined to depression for no obvious reason whatsoever, that is when they are useful.
Everybody has mood swings, It is unrealistic to expect to feel on top of the world all the time, I would not suggest anti-depressants unless you REALLY think you need them, they usually take around three weeks to kick in anyway......
Try and get out a bit, go for a long walk, exercise works wonders, always remember there are millions of people worse off than you who really DO have something to worry about.....
Try and get out a bit, go for a long walk, exercise works wonders, always remember there are millions of people worse off than you who really DO have something to worry about.....
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