Monster Rant - long
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lunarscope

Original Poster:

2,901 posts

271 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
A mate has just sent me this rant.
I think he may be having a bad day :hehe:

[b]Why is it all so wrong?[/b]

When I went through school, I was beaten up by bullies who were never punished. In fact, I turned the lights off when I left the classroom and I got told off by the teacher for interfering. I was only trying to save energy.

When I voluntarily stayed on to do my A-levels, I was told I had to take General Studies and Physical Education in addition to my chosen subjects. If I didn’t go to P.E., the head of 6th form told me I would be expelled.

But I was never shown the correct posture for lifting heavy objects, or how to tackle any every day aspects of life. Neither did school teach me the country’s law: and yet ‘ignorance is no excuse’. I emailed the government to ask how I can find out what ‘the law’ is, and they told me that there is no one place where I can read all the laws.

I went to University, and the lecturer’s rarely turned up. Even when they did, they didn’t teach us anything we didn’t already know. 4 years of my life wasted without having an income – and now I must pay back my Student Loan.

Soon after, I bought a car for £2,000 and insured it for same. A dosey builder walked out in the road and the car in-front slammed on his brakes. So did I, but the guy in front had ABS. Because of a jaywalker, the accident was ‘my fault’ and I got £700 from the ‘insurance’. I had paid more than £700 in insurance. My car insurance then went up.

Now I earn £35,000 a year, and what do I get from that? I pay £528.42 in income tax a month, and £250.11 in ‘national insurance’ per month. But I can’t see a doctor or a dentist at all because they only open Monday thru Friday 9am-5pm, which is when I must be at work. However, asylum seekers and the unemployed have access to both a dentist and a doctor, free of charge. Even if I could see a doctor, they charge me £7 per prescription item, because I work. Isn’t the treatment paid for by my National Insurance, which I pay for out of my earnings? And, even if I could see a dentist, I have to pay for all treatment. So, what do I get for my N.I., exactly?

Out of my £2138 I have left per month, I must pay for my Private Pension, because despite paying Income Tax and National Insurance, the state pension won’t be around much longer, and they will almost certainly not pay me a penny when I retire. That leaves me with £2006 – good thing my company pays for the private healthcare – because there’s an 18-month waiting list for operations.

I’m trying to buy a house now – but the prices of shot up. My small 3-bedroomed semi-detatched house was a bargain at £120,000. That price is the bottom-line figure at which I need to pay the government ‘Stamp Duty’, which is 1%. No, not on the amount over £120k: on all of it. So, I need to give them £1,200 so I can buy my house. I’m not sure what for. A bunch of other charges amounted to another £1,000. The interest alone (at 5.99%) on buying my house costs me £599 a month. I can only afford to buy my house over 30 years, so I pay a measily £126 off the capital per month – leaving me with £1281 left a month.

Time for a bit more taxation - and why not! I must pay the reduced rate of £625 a year ‘Council Tax’. Except, they won’t let me pay it over 12-months, they want it over 10, and it has to be the first 10 months, so now I need to shell out another £62.50 in tax this month, leaving me with £1218.50. What a bargain this tax is. For it, I get ‘police’, ‘fire’. ‘ambulance’ and ‘local council services’. Woo-hoo. Let’s see, when I call the cops because someone is breaking into my house, they say they “haven’t got anyone to send”, and yet there’s loads of them harassing motorists like me all over the country. The fire brigade are always on strike wanting more money – but if my house burns down they’ll only put the fire out – I have to also buy house buildings and contents insurance to have it rebuilt as well! And, I’ve never used any ‘local council services’ – the only ‘benefit’ seems to be that they are putting red paint, double yellow lines, and speed bumps everywhere. Oh, there is the library, but you have to pay to borrow CDs and DVDs… so I’m really not sure what ‘local council services’ we’re actually paying for. Nearly forgot to mention the refuse collection. We have to sort out all our rubbish ourselves. They’ll only collect the rubbish if it’s completely in the wheelie bin, sitting on the pavement, precisely 72cm from the kerb, with the handle facing the road and exactly parallel to the kerb. Oh, and the lid must be completely shut, otherwise it’s a safety hazard to the ‘waste management administrators’. Anyway, take away my £170 a year home buildings & contents insurance, leaves me with £1204 a month. (Why do I have to pay for contents insurance, if I’m paying for police to prevent the burgarlies, exactly?).

Let’s not forget that I need to get to work to earn all this money. To get to work, one must own a car. There is no other way. I travel 40 miles to the office, and 40 miles back home again, 5 days a week, 47 weeks a year. That’s 18,800 miles a year, and, even with my super-effient diesel engine, this costs me about 12p a mile at the current fuel prices. (Most of which is Fuel Excise Duty, oh, and VAT, by the way.). That’s £2256 a year to get to my place of work and back, or about another £188 off my income, leaving me now with £1016. But, I haven’t finished paying taxes on my transport just yet. Not included in these elusive ‘local council services’ apparently, is road maintenance. No, that’s an extra at the bargain price of £165 a year. They won’t let me pay for that monthly – no – they want it all up front. But, if I could, it brings my income down to £1002.25 a month, now a third of my monthly salary.

No no, we really must tax that transport some more. The vehicle that I strive so hard to maintain must be inspected by the government once a year – at cost to me of course. Repairs must be done as they deem necessary or I’m not allowed to use it. Let’s say that’s another modest £500 a year in such maintenance costs – about £41 a month. Now lets have some car insurance too – in case anyone without insurance crashes into me. That’s about another £700 – ooo – an opportunity for a bit more VAT on that as well. In fact, the VAT on that isn’t good enough – we’ll also pay some special Insurance Tax on it as well. So now I’m down to an average of £902.25 a month.

This well maintained comfortable alternative to a non-existent public transport system all costs lots of dosh to buy in the first place. So, I’m still paying for it. Actually I’m still paying for the first one, and all of the other ones in between too. My loan is costing me roughly £332.61 a month, which brings my income now down to just £569.64 a month.

(A little side-story: I say there’s no public transport, but actually London does have public transport – and therefore politicians believe the whole country has. I once saw some african man jump onto the line in front of the tube train which killed him. The train stopped running and we weren’t allowed to board it. I tried to get a refund on the tickets but the staff told me they were dealing with an ‘emergency’. I told them there was no emergency – as he is dead. He was probably an illegal immigrant, and we were funding his luxurious stay in this country, as we will also fund the cleanup operation and probably pay for a nice little wooden box to contain all the pieces of him.)

With my own little transport system costing me so much, it’s a good idea to save money on visiting friends by having a telephone. In fact, one must own a telephone because certain company’s forms are incomplete unless you put down your telephone number. And of course, these days, one must have a mobile phone. In fact, why not have a bit of broadband internet access too, so I can ‘work from home’, when my company aren’t happy with the 37½ hours of hard labor that I give them each week. All these set me back a measily £60 a month to pay Orange, BT and NTL. I’m now down to £509.64 – even using technology to replace my social life.

When I’m in my expensive little castle in England, I also need to pay for gas and electric. These are another £50 a month. The privilege of drinkable water, and sewage disposal cost me just £210.96 a year – or about £18 a month on top. Now down to £441.64

Of course, my mortgage provider is a little concerned that I will be 58 by the time I have finished repaying the £360,000+ capital and interest mortgage on my tiny little castle. I therefore need life insurance, in case I die. I wouldn’t want to short-change anyone by dying on them. That’s another £16.50 a month, in all. Leaving me with £425.14 a month.

It’s currently illegal for me to watch a single frame of our national telly. Even if I were to pay £30 odd quid a month for Sky or NTL, it would still be illegal. That’s because I don’t have a television license. You don’t need a license to have/make babies, but you must have one if you want to own a telly. That would set me back £10.54 on average per month, but I just can’t afford one.

Running out of money so quickly, wouldn’t it be good to have a bit of extra income? Great plan. How about the local computer shop down the road – maybe 8 hours on a Saturday might help my finances a little. Okay, they pay minimum wage – can’t be all that bad – how much is it £4.65 an hour gross. Right. But hang on, I’m in the 40% tax bracket. So working on Saturday will cost me £14.88 more Income Tax and roughly £4.46 on ‘National Insurance’, leaving me with a pityful £17.85 for a whole day’s work – and that doesn’t include the transport costs there and back. Maybe I’ll leave that one.

Crikey, I nearly forgot to eat. If I eat, I’ll be left with roughly £338.47 a month to live on. Whatever I buy out of that will be subject to the usual 17.5% tax again, which goes to the government. I’m sure I already paid tax about 4 times? I have to sit on the floor to eat, with the food on my lap. This is because I can’t afford furniture.

There’s not much left, and it’s all very exhausting. That’s why it’s good to save up for a holiday every now and again. But, hold on, I’m told I must pay a ‘Single-Person supplement’. Some travel agents won’t even let me book the holiday because there’s only one of me. I’ve been told that the only way to book through them is if I ‘invent’ the other passenger (Mary Jones?) and buy her plane ticket too. The fuel for these planes is ridiculously expensive. But. now I’m told I must pay a landing-tax of £15-20, and because of terrorists, I must pay a security-supplement of £10. I tell them I’m not a terrorist, but I still have to pay it. The terrorists didn’t need to pay it, did they? Did I mention the booking fee?

Turns out that a year’s living cost me £30,928.36. I guess I can’t apply for asylum because I’m the British-White minority. So I think the only way to get out of this horrible mess is I need to go out and commit a big crime. Yes, that’s it. Then I won’t need to work, and I’ll get everything paid for for me. I can even watch telly in jail – yay! I’ll even get ‘professional help’ and ‘support’ by a bunch of lentil munching do-good-ers. When I come out, I can just claim ‘jobseeker’s allowance’ and get a council house. Sorted.

[b]
If society punishes the honest citizen for doing an honest day’s work, and rewards the wilfully unemployed low life scum of this country, and any-old alien that wanders in, what do you expect but the country to go down the toilet? What freedom do we have left? What desire to live and better ourselves are you promoting? I am sick of political correctness, and I am sick of do-good-ers. I want a practical life and a practical society. [/b]


mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

284 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
I do believe that was a long monster rant....

Wacky Racer

41,314 posts

276 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
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Perhaps Chavs who screw the system have the right idea after all?...

PhillVR6

3,785 posts

289 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
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I think he needs a girlfriend.

Phill

silversun

4,373 posts

255 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
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Jeez, my brain aches now!

Rude-boy

22,227 posts

262 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
PhillVR6 said:
I think he needs a girlfriend.

Phill


If he got laid once in a while he might ease up a little, hang on they do tax that to though, £4.50 for 6 Durex, that's about 32p in VAT for 6 s

minimax

11,985 posts

285 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
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wibble

MarkBarton

428 posts

292 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
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I'm in a very similar position, and I have to agree with every word of that. Poor sod hasn't even budgeted for booze yet, let alone a girlfriend.

No wonder I'm skint

PhillVR6

3,785 posts

289 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
MarkBarton said:
Poor sod hasn't even budgeted for booze yet, let alone a girlfriend.

No wonder I'm skint



If he lived with someone he would halve all of his bills and not pay a single person premium for holidays.

Phill

Eric Mc

125,609 posts

294 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
Loser.

Typical whinger.

If he put as much effort into thinking positively then maybe life might get better for him.

dieseljohn

2,114 posts

285 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
All together now: 'Always look on the bright side of life, de-doo de-doo de-doo-de-doo-de-doo'.

Tell you friend to chill before he gives himself a coronary!

lanciachris

3,357 posts

270 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
Massively disappointed. I read the whole thing and there wasnt a single monster in it

Chim_Knee

12,689 posts

286 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
lanciachris said:
Massively disappointed. I read the whole thing and there wasnt a single monster in it

lunarscope

Original Poster:

2,901 posts

271 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
Eric Mc said:
Loser.

Typical whinger.

If he put as much effort into thinking positively then maybe life might get better for him.


Podie

46,649 posts

304 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
Chim_Knee said:

lanciachris said:
Massively disappointed. I read the whole thing and there wasnt a single monster in it



Genius.

scorp

8,783 posts

258 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
Eric Mc said:
Loser.

Typical whinger.

If he put as much effort into thinking positively then maybe life might get better for him.


Indeed, maybe if he took a look at the rest of the world, he would be thinking himself lucky to be living here in the UK.

r988

7,495 posts

258 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
What a whiner, I subsist on a pathetic £12k a year.

- Dont need a TV or TV licence
- I've never had any problems with a single airline ticket or hotel booking
- Walk (or if its too far) ride a bike to work, you'll get exercise and its cheaper than a car, you wont miss any TV since there is nothing on anyway.
- Dont need a landline phone, prepay mobiles are cheap as chips
- Rent and you wont need to worry about most of that other crap, electricity, water etc its all comes in one nasty easy to understand bill at the end of each month.


Still taxes are quite high for little perceiveable benefit.

You could always throw it all in buy and AK47 and see how you do in a less controlling country like say Afghanistan)


>> Edited by r988 on Wednesday 27th July 15:55

havoc

33,358 posts

264 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
I'm in two minds...it was rather negative...but I can see his point.

The welfare state in this country is biased to the wrong people, IMHO, which is why we have ended up with so many spongers, criminals and immigrants (I have no problem with economic migrants, those who wish to work, or with genuine asylum seekers...but it strikes me there are a LOT who come here because of the welfare state we've got.)

dieseljohn

2,114 posts

285 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
lunarscope's mate said:


(A little side-story: I say there’s no public transport, but actually London does have public transport – and therefore politicians believe the whole country has. I once saw some african man jump onto the line in front of the tube train which killed him. The train stopped running and we weren’t allowed to board it. I tried to get a refund on the tickets but the staff told me they were dealing with an ‘emergency’. I told them there was no emergency – as he is dead. He was probably an illegal immigrant, and we were funding his luxurious stay in this country, as we will also fund the cleanup operation and probably pay for a nice little wooden box to contain all the pieces of him.)


So some african killed himself, but who cares because he was 'probably an illegal immigrant' (all africans are right?). The real tragedy here is matey didn't get his 40p back. My heart bleeds, perhaps your mate could write to his family in africa and see if they will refund him.

Its difficult to have any sympathy for someone with this world view, sorry.

scorp

8,783 posts

258 months

Wednesday 27th July 2005
quotequote all
havoc said:
I'm in two minds...it was rather negative...but I can see his point.

The welfare state in this country is biased to the wrong people, IMHO, which is why we have ended up with so many spongers, criminals and immigrants (I have no problem with economic migrants, those who wish to work, or with genuine asylum seekers...but it strikes me there are a LOT who come here because of the welfare state we've got.)


I see the biggest problem being the indigineous scroungers, who decided to throw their futures down the toilet at school. These guys (and girls) must surely outnumber any illegal immigrant population here by a factor of 50.

We seem to have Darwinism in reversal in the uk, were the fittest members of our society have the least children (because they can't afford them, probably). I suppose Darwin can sort us out when we are all chavs in a few generations time