Watched Someone Die
Discussion
What a day. Mrs BC and I arrived in Florida yesterday evening for Christmas.
Today we went for a walk from our hotel and chanced upon a youngish man of around 40 collapsed in the street. He was unconscious but breathing. We called 911 and administered CPR but he stopped breathing. The police & medics arrived after about 15 minutes but he just died. I can’t get his face & eyes out of my head. The medics & police said we did all we could but there’s still that nagging guilt that we could have done more.
Just makes me think we all have to live our lives to the full and not in fear, who knows how long we’ve got. He left home today unaware it would be his last.
I just can’t get him out of my mind.
Today we went for a walk from our hotel and chanced upon a youngish man of around 40 collapsed in the street. He was unconscious but breathing. We called 911 and administered CPR but he stopped breathing. The police & medics arrived after about 15 minutes but he just died. I can’t get his face & eyes out of my head. The medics & police said we did all we could but there’s still that nagging guilt that we could have done more.
Just makes me think we all have to live our lives to the full and not in fear, who knows how long we’ve got. He left home today unaware it would be his last.
I just can’t get him out of my mind.
Sorry to hear that - never nice to see someone pass
As soon as we are born the clock starts clicking, life is finite
I spoke to my dad on the phone the day before he died (he was in hospital - no visits due to Covid) he was scared and crying. I'd give a lot to have been with him to help him through his last moments
As soon as we are born the clock starts clicking, life is finite
I spoke to my dad on the phone the day before he died (he was in hospital - no visits due to Covid) he was scared and crying. I'd give a lot to have been with him to help him through his last moments
Sorry to hear that. The most important thing is that you were there with him. He didn’t die alone and you did all you could. Watching someone die will never leave you. I was there with my father when he died five years ago and it’s the most humbling experience I’ve ever had. Everything else after that doesn’t matter as much as simply being alive.
Talk to as many people as you can about what happened Bottling it up won’t help. And give your loved ones a massive hug and appreciate life for the amazing thing that it is.
Talk to as many people as you can about what happened Bottling it up won’t help. And give your loved ones a massive hug and appreciate life for the amazing thing that it is.
bad company said:
What a day. Mrs BC and I arrived in Florida yesterday evening for Christmas.
Today we went for a walk from our hotel and chanced upon a youngish man of around 40 collapsed in the street. He was unconscious but breathing. We called 911 and administered CPR but he stopped breathing. The police & medics arrived after about 15 minutes but he just died. I can’t get his face & eyes out of my head. The medics & police said we did all we could but there’s still that nagging guilt that we could have done more.
Just makes me think we all have to live our lives to the full and not in fear, who knows how long we’ve got. He left home today unaware it would be his last.
I just can’t get him out of my mind.
and you log onto piston heads while on holiday to tell usToday we went for a walk from our hotel and chanced upon a youngish man of around 40 collapsed in the street. He was unconscious but breathing. We called 911 and administered CPR but he stopped breathing. The police & medics arrived after about 15 minutes but he just died. I can’t get his face & eyes out of my head. The medics & police said we did all we could but there’s still that nagging guilt that we could have done more.
Just makes me think we all have to live our lives to the full and not in fear, who knows how long we’ve got. He left home today unaware it would be his last.
I just can’t get him out of my mind.
miken2k8 said:
bad company said:
What a day. Mrs BC and I arrived in Florida yesterday evening for Christmas.
Today we went for a walk from our hotel and chanced upon a youngish man of around 40 collapsed in the street. He was unconscious but breathing. We called 911 and administered CPR but he stopped breathing. The police & medics arrived after about 15 minutes but he just died. I can’t get his face & eyes out of my head. The medics & police said we did all we could but there’s still that nagging guilt that we could have done more.
Just makes me think we all have to live our lives to the full and not in fear, who knows how long we’ve got. He left home today unaware it would be his last.
I just can’t get him out of my mind.
and you log onto piston heads while on holiday to tell usToday we went for a walk from our hotel and chanced upon a youngish man of around 40 collapsed in the street. He was unconscious but breathing. We called 911 and administered CPR but he stopped breathing. The police & medics arrived after about 15 minutes but he just died. I can’t get his face & eyes out of my head. The medics & police said we did all we could but there’s still that nagging guilt that we could have done more.
Just makes me think we all have to live our lives to the full and not in fear, who knows how long we’ve got. He left home today unaware it would be his last.
I just can’t get him out of my mind.
OP. His family may eventually get in touch, and I am sure they will appreciate that you tried. He could have died alone, but he didn’t. This may sound harsh, but stop beating yourself up, you did as much as anyone could, and probably more than many would.
Edited by Pica-Pica on Sunday 12th December 00:34
bad company said:
Richard-G said:
Yes and I don't blame him! You shouldn't bottle things up and posting on here can produce advice and ways of coping.
Thanks, that’s exactly how I feel. I’m sat in a bar now drinking beer but can’t get him out of my head.Just have to accept that bad things happen and try and move on.
My wife and I went through something similar a few months ago. We were advised by a policeman at the scene that these things can be surprisingly traumatic and to seek help if we felt we needed it. Fortunately my wife and I had each other to talk it through. We both said we thought about it a lot in the following weeks.
You should be proud of yourself for stopping and helping and giving the guy a chance - many people would just cross the road and walk away.
You should be proud of yourself for stopping and helping and giving the guy a chance - many people would just cross the road and walk away.
miken2k8 said:
and you log onto piston heads while on holiday to tell us
What a prick. If this is the OP's route to some support then this is the place to tell people.OP, the big point to focus on is that you did something about it. Plenty of people would stand back and watch, or worse film for Facebook. It takes balls to deliver critical first aid.
80% of Cardiac arrests outwith a hospital setting are fatal. The odds are stacked against you in most cases when CPR is required.
The act of delivering CPR is brutal and exhausting. The media presented image of 5 compressions resulting in the casualty sitting up and talking is so far removed from reality as to be irrelevant. This coupled with the adrenaline inevitable in the moment will result in some fairly vivid memories.
As mentioned above you gave given the family the knowledge that every effort was made and that someone was there. The fact that you tried will bring them some comfort.
The after effects of a traumatic experience are different for everyone. Some breeze through seemingly unaffected, others struggle to rationalise the events. Seek the support you need and if that's on here, nobody will mind. Watch the booze. No solutions in a beer bottle.
Time will make it easier to move beyond. At first it will be all consuming, you're unlikely to forget it, but you'll think of it less.
Well done. Bystander CPR and early defibrillation give people a chance of survival. More people need to be willing to do what you did.
Well done for getting involved and trying to help him. Many wouldn't. You have nothing to feel guilty for.
I remember on a first aid course years ago, the ex paramedic saying that there are times when if you don't do something they have a 0% chance of surviving; if you do something, they have a 10% chance of surviving. You did your best and improved their chances, you can't do more than that.
And you're doing the right thing in talking to people. Hopefully, with time, you'll come to terms with it.
Best wishes, and hope you manage to enjoy your time over Christmas.
I remember on a first aid course years ago, the ex paramedic saying that there are times when if you don't do something they have a 0% chance of surviving; if you do something, they have a 10% chance of surviving. You did your best and improved their chances, you can't do more than that.
And you're doing the right thing in talking to people. Hopefully, with time, you'll come to terms with it.
Best wishes, and hope you manage to enjoy your time over Christmas.
papa3 said:
What a prick. If this is the OP's route to some support then this is the place to tell people.
OP, the big point to focus on is that you did something about it. Plenty of people would stand back and watch, or worse film for Facebook. It takes balls to deliver critical first aid.
80% of Cardiac arrests outwith a hospital setting are fatal. The odds are stacked against you in most cases when CPR is required.
The act of delivering CPR is brutal and exhausting. The media presented image of 5 compressions resulting in the casualty sitting up and talking is so far removed from reality as to be irrelevant. This coupled with the adrenaline inevitable in the moment will result in some fairly vivid memories.
As mentioned above you gave given the family the knowledge that every effort was made and that someone was there. The fact that you tried will bring them some comfort.
The after effects of a traumatic experience are different for everyone. Some breeze through seemingly unaffected, others struggle to rationalise the events. Seek the support you need and if that's on here, nobody will mind. Watch the booze. No solutions in a beer bottle.
Time will make it easier to move beyond. At first it will be all consuming, you're unlikely to forget it, but you'll think of it less.
Well done. Bystander CPR and early defibrillation give people a chance of survival. More people need to be willing to do what you did.
I know i had to give my mum cpr when i found her dead on the living room floor just over 3 years ago. that was hard. i was 26. I'd been asleep upstairs and heard her just 10 mins before getting ready to take the dog for a walk. He was walking around her with his lead attached. I still have him now. I'm well aware of the situation. So no need to call me a prick thankyou.OP, the big point to focus on is that you did something about it. Plenty of people would stand back and watch, or worse film for Facebook. It takes balls to deliver critical first aid.
80% of Cardiac arrests outwith a hospital setting are fatal. The odds are stacked against you in most cases when CPR is required.
The act of delivering CPR is brutal and exhausting. The media presented image of 5 compressions resulting in the casualty sitting up and talking is so far removed from reality as to be irrelevant. This coupled with the adrenaline inevitable in the moment will result in some fairly vivid memories.
As mentioned above you gave given the family the knowledge that every effort was made and that someone was there. The fact that you tried will bring them some comfort.
The after effects of a traumatic experience are different for everyone. Some breeze through seemingly unaffected, others struggle to rationalise the events. Seek the support you need and if that's on here, nobody will mind. Watch the booze. No solutions in a beer bottle.
Time will make it easier to move beyond. At first it will be all consuming, you're unlikely to forget it, but you'll think of it less.
Well done. Bystander CPR and early defibrillation give people a chance of survival. More people need to be willing to do what you did.
Edited by miken2k8 on Sunday 12th December 02:07
Thanks so much for the support. Funny how input from strangers can help, but it does. The thing is for whatever reason I do feel the need to talk about it but we’re away so it’s just Mrs BC and I. Think she feels the same.
Unsure whether to post the experience on Facebook where my friends obviously know me. I can’t even understand why I want to do that. Seeking reassurance maybe? Can’t understand myself right now.
Unsure whether to post the experience on Facebook where my friends obviously know me. I can’t even understand why I want to do that. Seeking reassurance maybe? Can’t understand myself right now.
Edited by bad company on Sunday 12th December 02:34
bad company said:
Thanks so much for the support. Funny how input from strangers can help, but it does. The thing is for whatever reason I do feel the need to talk about it but we’re away so it’s just Mrs BC and I. Think she feels the same.
Unsure whether to post the experience on Facebook where my friends obviously know me. I can’t even understand why I want to do that. Seeking reassurance maybe? Can’t understand myself right now.
Take care.It is really awful to see or come across something like that.Just puts life into perspective.Unsure whether to post the experience on Facebook where my friends obviously know me. I can’t even understand why I want to do that. Seeking reassurance maybe? Can’t understand myself right now.
Edited by bad company on Sunday 12th December 02:34
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