My 2 year old has been kicked out the childminders...Help
Discussion
Both I & other half are just so frustrated and puzzled at the same time on how to handle this.
My son started attending the childminder's about 5 weeks ago. All good initially all smiles etc...
Basically we have concerns about him as he repeats himself constantly. We suspect autism- but probably mild. All health visitors, GP etc say he's fine....
He's been ill quite a bit with conjunctivitis and latterly chicken pox. She had warned us 2 weeks ago he'd been in contact with a child who had chicken pox.
Anyhow she called us on both occasions of him being ill with the above and asking to pick him up immediately. On both occasions we did our best- first time we got there within 2 hours and the second time within 1h30mn...
Well this apparently is classed as neglect. I can't incessantly check my phone at work, and work 1 hour away... My other half is a teacher on her probation period and did her best also... As soon as we could we read said message, finished at work as soon as we could and made our way there.
This is the message:
When I phone up for someone to collect him as he's poorly and contagious I think 2.5hrs last week was a joke and then this week 1.5hrs after he'd been sick isn't acceptable. This was the final straw. After been a childminder for over 15yr I have never experience neglect like that and parents like you 2. I'm so sorry but I don't need stress like this in my life, good bye and good luck.
So kicking him out on the basis of the above as well as not alerting her to the fact that he repeats himself. He has NO behavioural problems whatsoever. I repeat- we're told by professionals he's fine, although we are worried at times....
Said lady speak to other childminders in the area and it looks like we may have trouble finding another one. All this to say that I'm worried for my son- I genuinely feels like he's been excluded for no good reason and as a bonus we've been accused of neglecting our son!
Should I remotely complain about all this or just let it go? Thanks
My son started attending the childminder's about 5 weeks ago. All good initially all smiles etc...
Basically we have concerns about him as he repeats himself constantly. We suspect autism- but probably mild. All health visitors, GP etc say he's fine....
He's been ill quite a bit with conjunctivitis and latterly chicken pox. She had warned us 2 weeks ago he'd been in contact with a child who had chicken pox.
Anyhow she called us on both occasions of him being ill with the above and asking to pick him up immediately. On both occasions we did our best- first time we got there within 2 hours and the second time within 1h30mn...
Well this apparently is classed as neglect. I can't incessantly check my phone at work, and work 1 hour away... My other half is a teacher on her probation period and did her best also... As soon as we could we read said message, finished at work as soon as we could and made our way there.
This is the message:
When I phone up for someone to collect him as he's poorly and contagious I think 2.5hrs last week was a joke and then this week 1.5hrs after he'd been sick isn't acceptable. This was the final straw. After been a childminder for over 15yr I have never experience neglect like that and parents like you 2. I'm so sorry but I don't need stress like this in my life, good bye and good luck.
So kicking him out on the basis of the above as well as not alerting her to the fact that he repeats himself. He has NO behavioural problems whatsoever. I repeat- we're told by professionals he's fine, although we are worried at times....
Said lady speak to other childminders in the area and it looks like we may have trouble finding another one. All this to say that I'm worried for my son- I genuinely feels like he's been excluded for no good reason and as a bonus we've been accused of neglecting our son!
Should I remotely complain about all this or just let it go? Thanks
I'd definitely complain to her accreditation body. That text crosses the line by some margin.
They do generally get pretty irritated if you can't pick them up quickly in my experience, but mainly where a very high temperature is involved or they're obviously really quite unwell (e.g. looking faint).
They do generally get pretty irritated if you can't pick them up quickly in my experience, but mainly where a very high temperature is involved or they're obviously really quite unwell (e.g. looking faint).
Your childminder, to be frank, sounds absolutely crap. This sort of stuff comes with the territory of childminding services; parents are using the service because they are usually working and given you both work a distance from home, like many, your response time seems reasonable.
I've used various services - nursery on a farm, a new childminder who ended up treating my kids like her own and now I live in rural area with only one childminder availble it's more as you expect however she is very flexible, firm with the kids but loves them all dearly. None of them have treated me that way and if they did I wouldn't want my kids there anyway.
Whether the child is contangious during those 1.5-2hrs is not known to the childminder unless she is some sort of virologist or has some specific medical training. Most people are infectious before showing symptons. Anyway my point is a proper childminder should have processes in place to deal with infections such as separating the child - is your childminder Ofsted registered at all?
I think given what you have said, take it on the chin, accept you've found out now that childminder is a bit, well, thick (i reference the attitude you point out) and have a look for other care providers. I did find the nursery on a farm to be really good, they took kids from 6 months old to school age in groups. Well set up to deal with all sort of things and they provided a structure to their days unlike some childminders. Also many hands available and cameras everywhere - one point about childminders at home is that you don't know who is visiting during the day.
I've used various services - nursery on a farm, a new childminder who ended up treating my kids like her own and now I live in rural area with only one childminder availble it's more as you expect however she is very flexible, firm with the kids but loves them all dearly. None of them have treated me that way and if they did I wouldn't want my kids there anyway.
Whether the child is contangious during those 1.5-2hrs is not known to the childminder unless she is some sort of virologist or has some specific medical training. Most people are infectious before showing symptons. Anyway my point is a proper childminder should have processes in place to deal with infections such as separating the child - is your childminder Ofsted registered at all?
I think given what you have said, take it on the chin, accept you've found out now that childminder is a bit, well, thick (i reference the attitude you point out) and have a look for other care providers. I did find the nursery on a farm to be really good, they took kids from 6 months old to school age in groups. Well set up to deal with all sort of things and they provided a structure to their days unlike some childminders. Also many hands available and cameras everywhere - one point about childminders at home is that you don't know who is visiting during the day.
sat1983 said:
Both I & other half are just so frustrated and puzzled at the same time on how to handle this.
My son started attending the childminder's about 5 weeks ago. All good initially all smiles etc...
Basically we have concerns about him as he repeats himself constantly. We suspect autism- but probably mild. All health visitors, GP etc say he's fine....
He's been ill quite a bit with conjunctivitis and latterly chicken pox. She had warned us 2 weeks ago he'd been in contact with a child who had chicken pox.
Anyhow she called us on both occasions of him being ill with the above and asking to pick him up immediately. On both occasions we did our best- first time we got there within 2 hours and the second time within 1h30mn...
Well this apparently is classed as neglect. I can't incessantly check my phone at work, and work 1 hour away... My other half is a teacher on her probation period and did her best also... As soon as we could we read said message, finished at work as soon as we could and made our way there.
This is the message:
When I phone up for someone to collect him as he's poorly and contagious I think 2.5hrs last week was a joke and then this week 1.5hrs after he'd been sick isn't acceptable. This was the final straw. After been a childminder for over 15yr I have never experience neglect like that and parents like you 2. I'm so sorry but I don't need stress like this in my life, good bye and good luck.
So kicking him out on the basis of the above as well as not alerting her to the fact that he repeats himself. He has NO behavioural problems whatsoever. I repeat- we're told by professionals he's fine, although we are worried at times....
Said lady speak to other childminders in the area and it looks like we may have trouble finding another one. All this to say that I'm worried for my son- I genuinely feels like he's been excluded for no good reason and as a bonus we've been accused of neglecting our son!
Should I remotely complain about all this or just let it go? Thanks
The message seems very unprofessional and you might had dodged a built with the child minder. Though I do agree that 2.5 hours to come and collect your child does seem like a long time. What if something serious had happened?My son started attending the childminder's about 5 weeks ago. All good initially all smiles etc...
Basically we have concerns about him as he repeats himself constantly. We suspect autism- but probably mild. All health visitors, GP etc say he's fine....
He's been ill quite a bit with conjunctivitis and latterly chicken pox. She had warned us 2 weeks ago he'd been in contact with a child who had chicken pox.
Anyhow she called us on both occasions of him being ill with the above and asking to pick him up immediately. On both occasions we did our best- first time we got there within 2 hours and the second time within 1h30mn...
Well this apparently is classed as neglect. I can't incessantly check my phone at work, and work 1 hour away... My other half is a teacher on her probation period and did her best also... As soon as we could we read said message, finished at work as soon as we could and made our way there.
This is the message:
When I phone up for someone to collect him as he's poorly and contagious I think 2.5hrs last week was a joke and then this week 1.5hrs after he'd been sick isn't acceptable. This was the final straw. After been a childminder for over 15yr I have never experience neglect like that and parents like you 2. I'm so sorry but I don't need stress like this in my life, good bye and good luck.
So kicking him out on the basis of the above as well as not alerting her to the fact that he repeats himself. He has NO behavioural problems whatsoever. I repeat- we're told by professionals he's fine, although we are worried at times....
Said lady speak to other childminders in the area and it looks like we may have trouble finding another one. All this to say that I'm worried for my son- I genuinely feels like he's been excluded for no good reason and as a bonus we've been accused of neglecting our son!
Should I remotely complain about all this or just let it go? Thanks
When you decided to have kids then for me you have to be prepared to change your life. That includes changing jobs or moving house.
I don't especially want to second-guess the situation although I will say that a couple of hours delay to pick up doesn't sound entirely unreasonable.
But her text is completely out of order and unprofessional. So I would say you're probably best off out of there, but I can see that might want to complain about her behaviour particularly if she has been bad-mouthing you to other childminders in the area. There is a process you can follow (https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-childcare) but you will need to have followed up with her first.
But her text is completely out of order and unprofessional. So I would say you're probably best off out of there, but I can see that might want to complain about her behaviour particularly if she has been bad-mouthing you to other childminders in the area. There is a process you can follow (https://www.gov.uk/complain-about-childcare) but you will need to have followed up with her first.
I would find a different childminder.
As others have said, finding a good childminder is brilliant, mine treats the kids as her own, has collected child from school when child was too sick to stay in school, has asked for earlier drop-offs during summer as she is taking all her children off to a beach / movies / karting.
If you plead, she can accept children crazy early (like 5am) and if you plead, she can also keep the child later.
Oh, and she has not changed her very decent price in the 3,5 years I have been going to her (but I am told this will change this month)
As others have said, finding a good childminder is brilliant, mine treats the kids as her own, has collected child from school when child was too sick to stay in school, has asked for earlier drop-offs during summer as she is taking all her children off to a beach / movies / karting.
If you plead, she can accept children crazy early (like 5am) and if you plead, she can also keep the child later.
Oh, and she has not changed her very decent price in the 3,5 years I have been going to her (but I am told this will change this month)
I can see both sides of this, mine are both in primary school now, and we've had a fair bit of work disruption when they've been ill.
Childminders are as regulated as nurseries and other settings, they have protocols they need to follow and records they need to keep when things like illnesses happen, including timings of when they notified you and when the child left. Something like vomiting there's a whole cleaning schedule that needs following, the child might need keeping away from others, might tie up an assistant to stay with them. They get inspected and audited on this stuff regularly. COVID has tightened it up even more. It's why there's a shortage, when I was kid the childminder had a dozen of us in her small house, little in the way of regulation - these days it's onerous, restricted, and people still expect to pay peanuts.
The text firing you as customers wasn't worded well, but if there's a shortage of local childminders they can be choosy about who they take on. If you're hard work otherwise and they've got a waiting list of people who can pick up an ill child in 30 mins they'd rather have them instead. I don't think a complaint to their regulator will get you far, they're following protocol and can withdraw the service for any reason anyway.
We've used a few nurseries, childminders and now school and I can't say 2 hours would be acceptable to any after a child was ill. If you're both that far away, you need to make sure one of you absolutely does answer the call and drops everything to get there ASAP.
You really need to be looking for a larger setting like a bigger nursery that's better able to segregate and cover for when a child is ill (but ask them if 2 hours for pickup is OK and see what face they pull!), a setting closer to work so you can respond quicker, or a nanny (but that's £££).
Childminders are as regulated as nurseries and other settings, they have protocols they need to follow and records they need to keep when things like illnesses happen, including timings of when they notified you and when the child left. Something like vomiting there's a whole cleaning schedule that needs following, the child might need keeping away from others, might tie up an assistant to stay with them. They get inspected and audited on this stuff regularly. COVID has tightened it up even more. It's why there's a shortage, when I was kid the childminder had a dozen of us in her small house, little in the way of regulation - these days it's onerous, restricted, and people still expect to pay peanuts.
The text firing you as customers wasn't worded well, but if there's a shortage of local childminders they can be choosy about who they take on. If you're hard work otherwise and they've got a waiting list of people who can pick up an ill child in 30 mins they'd rather have them instead. I don't think a complaint to their regulator will get you far, they're following protocol and can withdraw the service for any reason anyway.
We've used a few nurseries, childminders and now school and I can't say 2 hours would be acceptable to any after a child was ill. If you're both that far away, you need to make sure one of you absolutely does answer the call and drops everything to get there ASAP.
You really need to be looking for a larger setting like a bigger nursery that's better able to segregate and cover for when a child is ill (but ask them if 2 hours for pickup is OK and see what face they pull!), a setting closer to work so you can respond quicker, or a nanny (but that's £££).
Edited by sjg on Thursday 31st March 10:32
Whilst I think she's been unprofessional and 'neglect' is totally the wrong term, she does have a bit of a point about lead time to get there.
If there was an emergency and one of you took over an hour to get there, that's not cool.
Both occasions were not an emergency, but the childminder will see them as a precedent for what would happen if there was an emergency.
ETA - the process probably needs looking at too - if it's so urgent to pick up the child, why is she texting instead of calling?
If there was an emergency and one of you took over an hour to get there, that's not cool.
Both occasions were not an emergency, but the childminder will see them as a precedent for what would happen if there was an emergency.
ETA - the process probably needs looking at too - if it's so urgent to pick up the child, why is she texting instead of calling?
Very unprofessional message, and delay to pick up is reasonable given that people use child minders because they're at work.
However, can you be 100 percent confident that the illness isn't an excuse because your child is difficult to manage. You suspect he has autism...he may take a disproportionate amount of looking after and in a seller's market, she may consider him too much effort.
You might be better off looking at nurseries rather than CMs.
However, can you be 100 percent confident that the illness isn't an excuse because your child is difficult to manage. You suspect he has autism...he may take a disproportionate amount of looking after and in a seller's market, she may consider him too much effort.
You might be better off looking at nurseries rather than CMs.
Morning all,
My wife is a childminder of 13 years and 25 years in childcare. She doesn’t have PistonHeads but I showed her this and she emailed me this to add:-
"Firstly I am sorry this has happened to you It is entirely unprofessional the way she has worded that text and also not given you enough notice to find another childminder if you are contracted it should be 4 weeks notice I don’t understand personally why she suddenly ended the contract as to me it’s not neglect.
Did you text her to state your time estimate?
As a childminder we are governed by OFSTED and the local authority. We do have sickness policy’s that are mandatory documents and inspected on
or we are meant to have these, Some don’t
I always have several emergency contacts on hand if the parent is further than 30 minutes Away if need be The worry we always have is if they have a considerable high temperature then there is risk of convulsions etc However that is what you have multiple emergency contacts and time estimate of pick up, If they are sick I move them to another room and just patiently wait until pick up. I certainly realise with my husband working in London traffic can be an absolute nightmare
Obviously you are entitled to complain and within your right She sounds like she has had enough of childminding to be perfectly honest.
It can be stressful and demanding at times however it’s the best job Iv had in the 25 years, By no means did you neglect your child so please ignore that
So moving on when you find your next childminder You need to ask her what their sickness policy is and make sure you write down multiple emergency contacts down also what their procedure is with contacting you.
It is a hard job finding the right one but when you do they become family. Iv had so many wonderful families in my setting.
Susan"
My wife is a childminder of 13 years and 25 years in childcare. She doesn’t have PistonHeads but I showed her this and she emailed me this to add:-
"Firstly I am sorry this has happened to you It is entirely unprofessional the way she has worded that text and also not given you enough notice to find another childminder if you are contracted it should be 4 weeks notice I don’t understand personally why she suddenly ended the contract as to me it’s not neglect.
Did you text her to state your time estimate?
As a childminder we are governed by OFSTED and the local authority. We do have sickness policy’s that are mandatory documents and inspected on
or we are meant to have these, Some don’t
I always have several emergency contacts on hand if the parent is further than 30 minutes Away if need be The worry we always have is if they have a considerable high temperature then there is risk of convulsions etc However that is what you have multiple emergency contacts and time estimate of pick up, If they are sick I move them to another room and just patiently wait until pick up. I certainly realise with my husband working in London traffic can be an absolute nightmare
Obviously you are entitled to complain and within your right She sounds like she has had enough of childminding to be perfectly honest.
It can be stressful and demanding at times however it’s the best job Iv had in the 25 years, By no means did you neglect your child so please ignore that
So moving on when you find your next childminder You need to ask her what their sickness policy is and make sure you write down multiple emergency contacts down also what their procedure is with contacting you.
It is a hard job finding the right one but when you do they become family. Iv had so many wonderful families in my setting.
Susan"
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