Does anyone else write to their Children?
Does anyone else write to their Children?
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TVR1

Original Poster:

5,478 posts

254 months

Thursday 21st April 2022
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Just wondering as I don’t think it odd.

I keep a diary but have written to Isabelle from the day she was born. Going on 7 years now.

Usually every couple of months.

Telling her what I see and how she makes me so happy.

Screaming sometimes etc.

There’s lots of letters that are in a golden box.

I’m an older Father so I know I won’t be there for her in a few years. Just thought I’d do it.


Dan_1981

18,096 posts

228 months

Thursday 21st April 2022
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TVR1 said:
Just wondering as I don’t think it odd.

I keep a diary but have written to Isabelle from the day she was born. Going on 7 years now.

Usually every couple of months.

Telling her what I see and how she makes me so happy.

Screaming sometimes etc.

There’s lots of letters that are in a golden box.

I’m an older Father so I know I won’t be there for her in a few years. Just thought I’d do it.
Alway thought about setting up an email address for mine & emailing them... never got around to it which I kinda regret now.

iphonedyou

10,410 posts

186 months

Thursday 21st April 2022
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I don't (but like the idea, and similarly the email idea above).

I take my son out on Saturday mornings and try often to do something completely new (last Saturday a bird sanctuary, the week before a train journey). I take a photo or two and put it in a little flipbook with a note about what we got up to and the date.

It'll be a nice record of the things we got up to, one day.

Similarly analogue in a digital age, I suppose.

jimPH

3,981 posts

109 months

Thursday 21st April 2022
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My daughters write to me quite regularly, I've found a magic sponge works best to get it off.

Just need to figure out which one it is.

Cold

16,666 posts

119 months

Thursday 21st April 2022
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I'll exchange WhatsApp messages most days.

s m

24,468 posts

232 months

Thursday 21st April 2022
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jimPH said:
My daughters write to me quite regularly, I've found a magic sponge works best to get it off.

Just need to figure out which one it is.
laugh

Nola25

252 posts

80 months

Friday 22nd April 2022
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I send my little boy an email every now and then, usually when he does something for the first time or when I have a decent pic of him or sometimes just to ramble on a bit.

My partner has a diary from birth for him of his journey into the world (he was an ivf success), developmental leaps etc (email address and password have been mentioned in my will just in case)

Both older parents so like the OP, probably won’t be around for decades and it’ll be nice for him to read and look through if anything does happy to me/us.

Wish I’d had something similar when I lost my mum at an early age.


OzzyR1

6,360 posts

261 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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My mum had a health-scare a couple of years ago, suspected cancer.

She was taken into hospital for a while and I spoke to her on the phone as much as possible over those 2-3 days but she was full of painkillers and very tired.

One of those nights after calling, I wrote her an email which consisted of stuff I remembered from my childhood. Nothing remarkable, one was how I recalled her and my dad re-decorating the living room of the house we lived in at the time - they took up the carpet and found a floor hatch which led to a crawl-height space under the building. I described how I remembered my dad taking me down there while all the time my mum was calling from above for us to be careful & how great an adventure I thought it was at the time to be under our house. I was only 3 when this happened, my mum had forgotten about it completely and was amazed that I remembered.

Another was my recollection of riding my bike for the first time without stabilisers - probably around 3/4 y/o. I described how my mum held the back of the bike 2 or 3 times while I went up and down the drive to keep me upright. Then my surprise when I did it the next time and looked back to see her still at the other end of the drive as she had pretended to hold on but let me ride it myself without realising.

Made us both emotional when we talked about the content of the email after.

I'm glad I wrote and sent it when I did as she & my dad mean so much to me, somehow it was easier to put it in an email and talk after.

If your parents are still around, would recommend you do something similar. They won't be here forever.

Similarly, those of you with young kids, think that setting up an email address for them and sending notes to it of your thoughts and memories during their early life is an amazing thing to do. Would have loved to read a timeline like that from my folks later in life.

scenario8

7,916 posts

208 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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Jesus, guys…<sniffs>

Huff

3,422 posts

220 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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Yes,I do, always have; snce Jess was ver small; not to a schedule, but to share pics of things we’vr done together, litle notes on anything in particular, and so on. These days its a mix of email & whatsapp, and an ongoing, nr daily conversation; and… wonderful.

J is now 28. Best thing I ever have been a part of; the whole of it, the making of me… as a man, from the callow young chap who met her mum. : D


Edit: @ ozzyR1 re learning to ride a bicycle - exactly the way I taught Jess, - and I have a photo or teo of /that moment - from my perspective! Great point, well made.

Edited by Huff on Saturday 23 April 02:14

Huff

3,422 posts

220 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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… & I shd add - what inspired some of it , was going to Uni with my best mate - and admiring the way his Dad wrote a letter, every.single.week from ‘home’.

We’re both 50 now; that habit is over 30yrs old - and yep, Ad’s Dad /still /writes most weeks. I’ve nothing but admiration for them.


dvs_dave

9,040 posts

254 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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Seems like a nice thing to do, and hadn’t even thought about it. I setup email addresses for both my littluns a couple of years ago, but only for their iPad accounts. Lol.

Must try and use them more productively.

Many comments from fathers that class themselves as “older”. What is older? I’m early 40’s with a 3 and 6yr old and don’t class myself as “older”, but I would be compared to someone in there 20’s with the same age kids.

Mobile Chicane

21,986 posts

241 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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That is so sweet. I'm sure she will treasure these in future.

Meanwhile hold off on the booze and fags, m'kaay?

cavebloke

650 posts

256 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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Is WhatsApp a good choice for this? It downscales photo quality and as an App it could be superseded. Would the content still be easily accessible to your kids in the future?
I wish I had done this, so well done all for being this organised.

Nola25

252 posts

80 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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dvs_dave said:
Many comments from fathers that class themselves as “older”. What is older? I’m early 40’s with a 3 and 6yr old and don’t class myself as “older”, but I would be compared to someone in there 20’s with the same age kids.
50 with an 18 month old for me, partner is 47



Nola25

252 posts

80 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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cavebloke said:
Is WhatsApp a good choice for this? It downscales photo quality and as an App it could be superseded. Would the content still be easily accessible to your kids in the future?
I wish I had done this, so well done all for being this organised.
I just setup a gmail account in his name, I thought out of all the account providers, Google would be fairly safe

The Mad Monk

11,451 posts

146 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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Dan_1981 said:
Alway thought about setting up an email address for mine & emailing them... never got around to it which I kinda regret now.
Why is it too late to email?

Dan_1981

18,096 posts

228 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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The Mad Monk said:
Dan_1981 said:
Alway thought about setting up an email address for mine & emailing them... never got around to it which I kinda regret now.
Why is it too late to email?
I guess it's not too late to start, ones 5 and the other 2.

But I like the idea of starting from very young and documenting the change to life etc the things they've done when ready young.

I could of course start today...

loafer123

16,671 posts

244 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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My dad was a regular letter writer.

He died a few years ago and I still find his letters from time to time.

It is bittersweet as it brings back the grief that he is not here anymore, but it retains a thread of connection which I treasure.

OldSkoolRS

7,259 posts

208 months

Saturday 23rd April 2022
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loafer123 said:
My dad was a regular letter writer.

He died a few years ago and I still find his letters from time to time.

It is bittersweet as it brings back the grief that he is not here anymore, but it retains a thread of connection which I treasure.
Same here. My MIL died recently and my wife has been going through old photo albums, etc. Yesterday she found the Golden Wedding album and my Dad had sent a card and a hand written note. At the time he hadn't met them, so it was a sort of introduction but it was the comments about how he had never seen me more happy since I'd met their daughter. It was a little dusty in the room when I read this, but lovely to read as I'd never seen this note before and it was just so 'him' the way it was written.

While it's too late for me to do similar with my grown up kids, I would say from the other side of it that just putting notes on the back of photos if you print them out really helps: I've also had problems opening digital photos taken on early cameras due to format issues. My concern would be what ever platform you use, such as email, WhatsApp, USB stick, etc could either change, disappear or corrupt over time. Therefore printing stuff out or handwritten notes stands a better chance of being accessible unless you plan to keep migrating data across platforms to keep it accessible.

My Dad had stuff on 5.25" floppy discs for example, though I copied them off and that stuff is now on an external hard drive, but a mini novel he wrote (loosely based on his early adult life) was printed out.

MIL has left some hand written stories of her early life too, which is comforting to my wife and I think the Grandchildren/Great Grand children will like to read it too. If it had been on her old laptop we'd be stuffed because it's broken now and the hard drive is corrupt.