Persuading my wife to get a bigger car
Discussion
Well, maybe not bigger per se….
Background: we had a car (BMW M135i when my son was born, then a Saab 9-3, followed by a Golf R Wagon). During that time we moved out of London and my wife needed a car for taking the kids to nursery, right beside the station. She got a hilarious little Seat Mii.
A change in job meant more of a driving commute (Bedford to Dunstable or Rickmansworth) for which the Mii was not really suited. She replaced it with another lease, this time a Fiesta. The lease on that was due to end in October but we’ve extended it by a year because the she loves the car and due to covid she’s done hardly any miles in it.
I have a Focus estate.
So between us we have two cars that can take the kids (two aged 7 and 6) pretty much anywhere. But they’re so similar, a Venn diagram of the two cars would overlap 80%. Mine’s a bit faster and a bit bigger. Meh.
What I want to try and sell to her is that rather than having a car each which is a Jack of all trades we get two different cars which aren’t hers and mine but are “practical” snd “fun”
I’m thinking an Alpine / Cayman and a Volvo XC40 for example.
If she has to go into the office she can take the two seater leaving me with the family car to collect the kids from school. If I need to go away I take the 2 seater and she has the family car etc.
The sticking point is she sees the family car as both expensive and big (she’s had a licence for years but didn’t drive for many years, she sees the Fiesta as the perfect size. Which it is for her use and solely her use)
How do I convince her we should go down my route?
Background: we had a car (BMW M135i when my son was born, then a Saab 9-3, followed by a Golf R Wagon). During that time we moved out of London and my wife needed a car for taking the kids to nursery, right beside the station. She got a hilarious little Seat Mii.
A change in job meant more of a driving commute (Bedford to Dunstable or Rickmansworth) for which the Mii was not really suited. She replaced it with another lease, this time a Fiesta. The lease on that was due to end in October but we’ve extended it by a year because the she loves the car and due to covid she’s done hardly any miles in it.
I have a Focus estate.
So between us we have two cars that can take the kids (two aged 7 and 6) pretty much anywhere. But they’re so similar, a Venn diagram of the two cars would overlap 80%. Mine’s a bit faster and a bit bigger. Meh.
What I want to try and sell to her is that rather than having a car each which is a Jack of all trades we get two different cars which aren’t hers and mine but are “practical” snd “fun”
I’m thinking an Alpine / Cayman and a Volvo XC40 for example.
If she has to go into the office she can take the two seater leaving me with the family car to collect the kids from school. If I need to go away I take the 2 seater and she has the family car etc.
The sticking point is she sees the family car as both expensive and big (she’s had a licence for years but didn’t drive for many years, she sees the Fiesta as the perfect size. Which it is for her use and solely her use)
How do I convince her we should go down my route?
The lease on her Focus is under £200 a month
My Focus was bought with a loan but is worth double the outstanding amount as of today.
TBH it’s not really about budget (although I couldn’t go out and buy a Volvo etc for cash and say “there you go love” )
While my wife will baulk at a £400+ lease versus the sub £200 because she wants to do more work on the house it’s more about the size of the car for her. I don’t think the XC40 has a much bigger footprint than a Fiesta but could be wrong.
My Focus was bought with a loan but is worth double the outstanding amount as of today.
TBH it’s not really about budget (although I couldn’t go out and buy a Volvo etc for cash and say “there you go love” )
While my wife will baulk at a £400+ lease versus the sub £200 because she wants to do more work on the house it’s more about the size of the car for her. I don’t think the XC40 has a much bigger footprint than a Fiesta but could be wrong.
bearman68 said:
Embrace the fact that she loves the Fiesta, and put the saved money in the bank. Sounds like she has her head screwed on.
Oh she does. The problem for me is it means I still need to run a Jack of all trades car rather than a sports car. The fiesta is fine for so many things but won’t cope with the frequent trips to Ireland that we do, for example.
So I need a bigger car that has four seats and a big boot while she runs a car with four seats and a small boot.
ETA because of the nature of our needs (aforementioned trips to Ireland) I can’t run a shed estate because it will need to be reliable for long trips, rather than just a dog carrier / tip wagon.
They can be, of course. But in my experience they can be costly, given my high mileage and requirement for reliability.
As in, I have a meeting 200 miles away and the car must get me there and back.
This is more about convincing my wife to drive a bigger car rather than the financial aspects though.
As in, I have a meeting 200 miles away and the car must get me there and back.
This is more about convincing my wife to drive a bigger car rather than the financial aspects though.
Hackney said:
They can be, of course. But in my experience they can be costly, given my high mileage and requirement for reliability.
As in, I have a meeting 200 miles away and the car must get me there and back.
This is more about convincing my wife to drive a bigger car rather than the financial aspects though.
Just come out with it in a warm & caring way, you want her and your kids in something bigger, safer and less likely to crumple up into a mangled mess incase a bus, HGV, drunken idiot or speeding bilking scrote hits her/kids as you wouldn't survive the loss.. Not a big deal, she may cry and decide to do it for you, or think about risk to kids and agree.As in, I have a meeting 200 miles away and the car must get me there and back.
This is more about convincing my wife to drive a bigger car rather than the financial aspects though.
Other than that your looking at benefits of treading water and using B roads for romantic/dog walks unless she's into a bit of off roading action.
Unfortunately I think your wife is right.
I own a porsche boxster myself as a second car so I get the want for a 2 seater but there will be times when you need two cars that will fit the whole family in such as one car being out of action due to breakdown, servicing etc or a time will come up when one of you are dripping kids off somewhere and the other needs to collect them.
I had this argument with myself when I last changed my primary car and was considering a Cayman. I bought a M240i instead and later bought an early Boxster as a toy
Those cars are both in addition to my wife's Mini Countryman
I own a porsche boxster myself as a second car so I get the want for a 2 seater but there will be times when you need two cars that will fit the whole family in such as one car being out of action due to breakdown, servicing etc or a time will come up when one of you are dripping kids off somewhere and the other needs to collect them.
I had this argument with myself when I last changed my primary car and was considering a Cayman. I bought a M240i instead and later bought an early Boxster as a toy
Those cars are both in addition to my wife's Mini Countryman
Your wife sounds a sensible woman tbh.
I like those Alpines too, but you will stand a better chance of getting this across her if it's not so obviously an a attempt to justify a sports car for you;) Both cars should be 4 or 5 seaters. A 2 seater with a young family doesn't make much sense unless it's a third car.
So you could have a smaller fun car that can still take the kids in a pinch, plus a larger wagon. Or vice versa - smaller family bus (keep your Focus or the Fiesta, and add a larger or smaller fun car as required).
It's the practical compromise that family life requires I'm afraid...
ETA plus in your original scenario you will end up paying more for two cars, which you wife will probably lnot ike driving as much as she likes her Fiesta. That doesn't seem fair.
I like those Alpines too, but you will stand a better chance of getting this across her if it's not so obviously an a attempt to justify a sports car for you;) Both cars should be 4 or 5 seaters. A 2 seater with a young family doesn't make much sense unless it's a third car.
So you could have a smaller fun car that can still take the kids in a pinch, plus a larger wagon. Or vice versa - smaller family bus (keep your Focus or the Fiesta, and add a larger or smaller fun car as required).
It's the practical compromise that family life requires I'm afraid...
ETA plus in your original scenario you will end up paying more for two cars, which you wife will probably lnot ike driving as much as she likes her Fiesta. That doesn't seem fair.
Edited by dontlookdown on Saturday 9th July 06:16
We used to do what you’re suggesting - a Ford C-Max for my wife and a turbocharged MX5 for me.
As the kids go older it became impossible with the endless activities and sports in the evenings and at the weekend. Invariably one of us would drop off and the other would pick up, ie. we both needed a car with at least 3 seats.
Personally, I wouldn’t try to persuade my wife to have a car she didn’t want. Why not get yourself a fun family car - Audi Avant S4 / S6 / BiTdi, BMW estate 335d, 340i, 530d, 540i etc.
As the kids go older it became impossible with the endless activities and sports in the evenings and at the weekend. Invariably one of us would drop off and the other would pick up, ie. we both needed a car with at least 3 seats.
Personally, I wouldn’t try to persuade my wife to have a car she didn’t want. Why not get yourself a fun family car - Audi Avant S4 / S6 / BiTdi, BMW estate 335d, 340i, 530d, 540i etc.
I managed to convince the wife to upgrade from a Polo to a Passat, she now loves it and wouldn’t go back to having a smaller car with two kids!
Leaves me in the position where it doesn’t really matter what I drive as it doesn’t need to be hugely practical, but I tend to stick with at least 4 seats so we can still go out as a family, which is why I ended up with a 440i convertible.
I’ve got the Model 3 Performance now, but that’s not through needing the practicality.
Leaves me in the position where it doesn’t really matter what I drive as it doesn’t need to be hugely practical, but I tend to stick with at least 4 seats so we can still go out as a family, which is why I ended up with a 440i convertible.
I’ve got the Model 3 Performance now, but that’s not through needing the practicality.
Gassing Station | Car Buying | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff