Could you give me some advice please?
Discussion
Hello PHers. I have a very interesting problem in my life at the moment.
Me and my gf, we have a baby who is 11 months old. It’s all I have in this world: my daughter. Now her mom on the other hand does everything in her powers to become a single mum. She also booked the wedding venue for April and I definitely don’t want to marry her or anyone else for that matter. I gave her the ring, because her mum wouldn’t shut up about it so I just chose the easy way to shut her up.
The problem is we’re both very similar personalities therefore we don’t really get along and the fights just get worse and worse. I don’t want to lose my daughter, it’s not her fault that the parents are dumbasses and she doesn’t deserve to lose her father like that. Tried talking multiple times but nothing ever changes, it gets worse if anything.
Now how do I get out of this situation without losing my daughter?
What would you do/have done ?
Me and my gf, we have a baby who is 11 months old. It’s all I have in this world: my daughter. Now her mom on the other hand does everything in her powers to become a single mum. She also booked the wedding venue for April and I definitely don’t want to marry her or anyone else for that matter. I gave her the ring, because her mum wouldn’t shut up about it so I just chose the easy way to shut her up.
The problem is we’re both very similar personalities therefore we don’t really get along and the fights just get worse and worse. I don’t want to lose my daughter, it’s not her fault that the parents are dumbasses and she doesn’t deserve to lose her father like that. Tried talking multiple times but nothing ever changes, it gets worse if anything.
Now how do I get out of this situation without losing my daughter?
What would you do/have done ?
Ooph, tricky OP
I've been married 3 times, fortunately only have children with Current Mrs D (10 and 12)
How old are you both?
How long have you been together?
Do you have joint assets?
So observations without knowing anything about you both...
My old neighbour is a rugby playing big fella, who told me as Mrs was expecting - having children is the HARDEST thing in the world - it is!
If you can make it work, try and then try harder.
If you can't get out now and do everything you can to raise the child happily together.
I've been married 3 times, fortunately only have children with Current Mrs D (10 and 12)
How old are you both?
How long have you been together?
Do you have joint assets?
So observations without knowing anything about you both...
My old neighbour is a rugby playing big fella, who told me as Mrs was expecting - having children is the HARDEST thing in the world - it is!
If you can make it work, try and then try harder.
If you can't get out now and do everything you can to raise the child happily together.
dundarach said:
Ooph, tricky OP
I've been married 3 times, fortunately only have children with Current Mrs D (10 and 12)
How old are you both?
How long have you been together?
Do you have joint assets?
So observations without knowing anything about you both...
My old neighbour is a rugby playing big fella, who told me as Mrs was expecting - having children is the HARDEST thing in the world - it is!
If you can make it work, try and then try harder.
If you can't get out now and do everything you can to raise the child happily together.
We’ve been together for something like 2 years. Got together, 2 months later she’s pregnant. I've been married 3 times, fortunately only have children with Current Mrs D (10 and 12)
How old are you both?
How long have you been together?
Do you have joint assets?
So observations without knowing anything about you both...
My old neighbour is a rugby playing big fella, who told me as Mrs was expecting - having children is the HARDEST thing in the world - it is!
If you can make it work, try and then try harder.
If you can't get out now and do everything you can to raise the child happily together.
We have no joint assets and we’re both 29
exelero said:
dundarach said:
Ooph, tricky OP
I've been married 3 times, fortunately only have children with Current Mrs D (10 and 12)
How old are you both?
How long have you been together?
Do you have joint assets?
So observations without knowing anything about you both...
My old neighbour is a rugby playing big fella, who told me as Mrs was expecting - having children is the HARDEST thing in the world - it is!
If you can make it work, try and then try harder.
If you can't get out now and do everything you can to raise the child happily together.
We’ve been together for something like 2 years. Got together, 2 months later she’s pregnant. I've been married 3 times, fortunately only have children with Current Mrs D (10 and 12)
How old are you both?
How long have you been together?
Do you have joint assets?
So observations without knowing anything about you both...
My old neighbour is a rugby playing big fella, who told me as Mrs was expecting - having children is the HARDEST thing in the world - it is!
If you can make it work, try and then try harder.
If you can't get out now and do everything you can to raise the child happily together.
We have no joint assets and we’re both 29
Coming from a 50 year old (with a sodding great lump of a house) I'm TELLING you, you really shouldn't be arguing!
You're knackered and so is she, kids are hard!
You take a turn and give her a night out with mates - she'll come in pissed and want sex
She does her turn and you come in pissed etc.
Get a baby sitter and both go get drunk!
Talk to her, what are you arguing about?
If there's not anyone else (is there), you should be enjoying life with your child.
Not really sure what more to add, sorry, without knowing what's causing the arguments, and not sure on here is the best place, but happy to natter as will others.
Is counseling an option, pay for it and you'll be chatting next week!!
If you want to stay together then go to counselling, try to talk rationally to her about how you feel.
But if there's nothing there staying together for the kid just gives the kid two unhappy parents and a tense house, so you'd probably be better off apart.
I'd make sure that everyone's on the same page and that you don't just slide into marriage because it's the easiest thing to do!
But if there's nothing there staying together for the kid just gives the kid two unhappy parents and a tense house, so you'd probably be better off apart.
I'd make sure that everyone's on the same page and that you don't just slide into marriage because it's the easiest thing to do!
exelero said:
We’ve been together for something like 2 years. Got together, 2 months later she’s pregnant.
We have no joint assets and we’re both 29
Oh dear. You were tied to her from nearly the moment you met her and after 2 years it sounds like it's only gone further south. Get out now before this becomes any more expensive than it already will be.We have no joint assets and we’re both 29
dundarach said:
exelero said:
dundarach said:
Ooph, tricky OP
I've been married 3 times, fortunately only have children with Current Mrs D (10 and 12)
How old are you both?
How long have you been together?
Do you have joint assets?
So observations without knowing anything about you both...
My old neighbour is a rugby playing big fella, who told me as Mrs was expecting - having children is the HARDEST thing in the world - it is!
If you can make it work, try and then try harder.
If you can't get out now and do everything you can to raise the child happily together.
We’ve been together for something like 2 years. Got together, 2 months later she’s pregnant. I've been married 3 times, fortunately only have children with Current Mrs D (10 and 12)
How old are you both?
How long have you been together?
Do you have joint assets?
So observations without knowing anything about you both...
My old neighbour is a rugby playing big fella, who told me as Mrs was expecting - having children is the HARDEST thing in the world - it is!
If you can make it work, try and then try harder.
If you can't get out now and do everything you can to raise the child happily together.
We have no joint assets and we’re both 29
Coming from a 50 year old (with a sodding great lump of a house) I'm TELLING you, you really shouldn't be arguing!
You're knackered and so is she, kids are hard!
You take a turn and give her a night out with mates - she'll come in pissed and want sex
She does her turn and you come in pissed etc.
Get a baby sitter and both go get drunk!
Talk to her, what are you arguing about?
If there's not anyone else (is there), you should be enjoying life with your child.
Not really sure what more to add, sorry, without knowing what's causing the arguments, and not sure on here is the best place, but happy to natter as will others.
Is counseling an option, pay for it and you'll be chatting next week!!
Also make the babysitter drunk
Buy 3 bottles of Vodka
One for you
One for Missus
One for babysitter
Drink them
And then have sex
Mastodon2 said:
Oh dear. You were tied to her from nearly the moment you met her and after 2 years it sounds like it's only gone further south. Get out now before this becomes any more expensive than it already will be.
It’s not going to be cheap either way… I don’t want to lose the baby though. And you’re right, I’m so tied and I can’t see a way out atm
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