Time to make your xmas cake.

[Byff]

Time to cook the Christmas cake, This one will appeal to one or two of you,
bit of a speciallity of mine


Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake

Ingredients:-

   1 cup of water
   1 tsp baking soda
   flour
   1 cup of sugar
   1 tsp salt
   1 cup of brown sugar
   Lemon juice
   4 large eggs
   Nuts
   1 bottle Vodka
   1 can of red bull
   2 cups of dried fruit

Method:

Sample the vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little red bull & drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK
Flavour with red bull to taste.

Try another cup.... just in case turn off the mixerer.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuckin the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor.

Mix on the f'in turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a screwscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity - flavour with a little Bed Rull

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a dam

Throw a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder.

Pick up the can, mop the floor

Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find you basta.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the basterd turner.

Finally, throw the friggin bowl through the window, finish the vodka and fall into bed.

Yors my mate yous are, f'in loves ya


CHERRY MISTMAS!

Its doing the rounds, but I thought it was funny.