I Survived a Polish Wedding Reception
I Survived a Polish Wedding Reception
Author
Discussion

Glassman

Original Poster:

24,650 posts

239 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
No beer, no wine; just straight vodka... and 'bimber', which translates to hooch but broadly speaking, it's moonshine.

After the town hall and church obligations, everyone made their way - in convoy - to a massive hall in the countryside. As soon as everyone was installed, the chicken soup came out. There was more or less a bottle of Oginski Vodka every two people; an uncle stood up with his and preceded to fill all the shot glasses he could in his section of the hall. He sat back down to slurp his soup and then stood up to toast the newlyweds. 'Na Zdrowie!' In unison, the newly formed posse downed our shots. Back to the soup. Some 5 minutes later, uncle comes around again; tops us up and we I look tentatively to his lead (I was concerned by the frequency). Something which translated to 'for the other leg' and wallop, down it went. The music (live band) started and the couple took to the floor.

After the first traditional wedding dance, the next shots were poured by someone else. Back to the table, grab yours, and everyone toasts Matty and Marta. The dancing started as did the endless trays of meat being carried out from the kitchen by some very efficient waiters; just three of them serving about 80 people (remarkably, with ease). At this point it appeared to signal about a dozen guys to go around pouring more vodka for the next round of shots. Bosh! Down they went. No more than 30 minutes had passed on the clock and I was an estimated six shots in. I feared for my future self.

Over the evening, which went on, full steam, until 4am the band stopped every 15-20 minutes to allow for the next course to be served (there were about 12 in total). You were never more than five minutes away from a new friend who insisted on having a shot with you. Then I was introduced to three demijohns: full of a yellow (lemon) blue (curacao) and a very scary looking black liquid which turned out to be coffee. Matty's uncle had churned out a few gallons of some very strong moonshine and the different flavours were used to tone them down. They were still an estimated 60% ABV (the feedback from my oesophagus confirmed this) but strangely palatable although I think this was welcome after the I-lost-count-after-12 shots of neat vodka. Some of the more experienced folk appeared to have a coffee break, and then jumped back onto the 'luvka' slamming.

One of the tricks to doing shots is to eat a slice of Ogórki Kiszone (pickled cucumber) immediately after. Another is to send in a slice or two of kielbasa mysliwska (hunter sausage) but the most alarming 'drinking aid' was to spread lard onto a piece of bread and let that line your stomach when it gets down there. Apparently, 'smalec' is really nice when it's been prepared with onions, garlic and (IIRC) some herbs and spices. I was happy with the alternate chaser options.

I made it through to the end, and still on my feet. Victorious, proud.

The next day we had to do it all again. It's a custom. Rinse and repeat.




Ussrcossack

930 posts

66 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
The lard will probably be smalek

Love Polish cuisine as much as their beer and Vodka.


anonymous-user

78 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
I've seen those weddings in the Urals were two blokes turn up weraing masks and kick the crap out of the groom.

Challo

12,312 posts

179 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
My mate went to a Polish wedding over the summer, i havent had a chance to catch up properly but from the video's his missus shared he was enjoying himself on the dance floor.

I suspect it went something like the OP's and lots of vodka and food.

geeks

11,218 posts

163 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Polish weddings are superb as are the birthdays, funerals and other celebrations, you are rarely more than 5 feet from some form of booze that could replace jet fuel and sausage!

RC1807

13,522 posts

192 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Sounds awesome!

Congratulations on surviving. biggrin

Silvanus

6,905 posts

47 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Ussrcossack said:
The lard will probably be smalek

Love Polish cuisine as much as their beer and Vodka.
Had a polish night with some friends a few years back, food was fantastic and the good vodka was cracked opened, was long and very evening (morning). Might make some polish food for dinner

bob1179

14,137 posts

233 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
I'm half Polish and my first proper 'experience' was my Baptchas (Grandmas) funeral when I was 25. I hadn't been over there since I was 14 so when I went back for this occasion I was old enough to take part in all activities. I remember as soon as I arrived at her little flat it was an absolute blur of pickles, soup, meats, sausage, beer, a vast amount of vodka and various fruit juices and an endless stream of family members hugging and kissing me that I had no idea even existed. This went on for the entire week I was there, it was a celebration more than anything else, a great send off for the lady!

smile

Punctilio

827 posts

47 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Sounds pretty tame compared to the typical bacchanalian English send off,
party sausage rolls, fish paste sarnies and stewed tea.

squareflops

1,864 posts

207 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
I’m attending a polish wedding tomorrow.

The last time I was in Poland I received acute alcohol poisoning and haven’t really been able to drink properly since; that was 3 years ago.

I’m already quite stressed.

Well done for surviving though.

Mazinbrum

1,236 posts

202 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Great post and sounds like quite an experience to look back on.

ChevronB19

8,527 posts

187 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
I went to an Orcadian wedding once, which was pretty much like this, but with Whisky.

They’d booked a bus for the pensioners (for 04:00!) and I ended up having to go on that (aged 25), utterly broken.

And it snowed as well. In June.

bobtail4x4

4,311 posts

133 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
I was invited to a Gypsy wedding this year,
Im a friend of the family..

it was cancelled, not sure If I regret it.

Seventy

5,500 posts

162 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
My family (Grandparents and before) are Polish (came over in the Pogroms), as is my wife.

Been to multiple weddings (and funerals) and every single time I’ve said never again - as in never again will I have a three day hangover.

Fantastic country and people.


squareflops

1,864 posts

207 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
I’m attending a polish wedding tomorrow.

The last time I was in Poland I received acute alcohol poisoning and haven’t really been able to drink properly since; that was 3 years ago.

I’m already quite stressed.

Well done for surviving though.

Hugo Stiglitz

40,816 posts

235 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
I remember an evening of 80%(?) Vodka.

I had a sore throat for days

The singing was immense biggrin

Road2Ruin

6,252 posts

240 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Never did a wedding, but a 40th birthday party was very similar. Her name was Marta too. Husband was Marcin. Great time had by all....not that I remember, was told about it. Apart from the food and alcohol, the women aren't bad either. hehe

Ynox

1,750 posts

203 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
I did a Polish wedding reception in 2013 for one of my best mates.

There's a photo of me on FB collapsed on the table at about 9pm on the second day of it. Great fun, but I ended up drinking vodka with the uncles and chasing it with beer.

A number of years later I was in the same neck of the woods in Poland with colleagues. Ended up drinking way too much and the next day a load of us were in the office still drunk. Fun times although the hangover that time was horrendous!

Glassman

Original Poster:

24,650 posts

239 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Road2Ruin said:
the women aren't bad either. hehe
They do appear to look after themselves a tad better over there.

Seventy

5,500 posts

162 months

Friday 9th September 2022
quotequote all
Glassman said:
They do appear to look after themselves a tad better over there.
They do - if they’ve got money.