Ok, Explain This:

[Doofus]

I've just watched a magpie land on my (timber) garage roof, then cling to the wall and stuff something under the eaves. "Watch this."I said to my wife (who hadn't seen the bird at work).

So I went out to the garage and reached under the eaves to find the fking creature had stuffed a lump of st under the fking gutter.

Not bird st. Dog or cat st.

Now I smell.

Is this a thing? - the magpie thing, not the Smelly Doofus thing.

[popeyewhite]

OP: "I don't belieeeeve it!" :

[Doofus]

[Aunty Pasty]

It must really hate you. Do birds hold grudges?

[Wilmslowboy]

Our dogs are fed on raw meat, and occasionally some frozen veg

The magpies love to pick through their poo when left on the lawn


Perhaps your little bride was stashing it for later...

[BoRED S2upid]

Never trust a Magpie.

[popeyewhite]

One for sorrow

[SpudLink]

They’re not only smart, but spiteful.

[Johnnytheboy]

There's sheep in the field behind my house, and a magpie spends a fair amount of the day riding round on the back of one.

[ChevronB19]

popeyewhite said:

One for sorrow

(number) 2 for joy?

[jjaack]

ChevronB19 said:

popeyewhite said:

One for sorrow

(number) 2 for joy?

[Boosted LS1]

It's building a medieval extension without planning permission, report it.

[dudleybloke]

Hes probably filmed it for his prank channel on tiktok
Clever birds those magpies.

[Simpo Two]

So was the plan that you'd pluck a diamond ring from the eaves as if by magic, present it to adoring wife and bask in a glow of selfless generosity...?

[Monkeylegend]

ChevronB19 said:

popeyewhite said:

One for sorrow

(number) 2 for joy?

I wonder what comes turd.

[Doofus]

Simpo Two said:

So was the plan that you'd pluck a diamond ring from the eaves as if by magic, present it to adoring wife and bask in a glow of selfless generosity...?

In fact, no. My dog chases magpies because they are invariably scoffing bread. So I naïvely assumed the bd had secreted some baked goods beneath my gutter.

'Twas not the case.

"Oh poo!", said I.
"Eww, poo!" my wife ejaculated.
"Ooh, second breakfast!" The hound declared.

None of us were happy with the outcome. Except the magpie.

Bi-coloured kleptomaniac stinky bd.

[Simpo Two]

Magpie 1: 'Bet you can't make Doofus put his hand in some st'.
Magpie 2: 'Hold my beer...'

Doofus said:

Bi-coloured kleptomaniac stinky bd.

Showed you a clean pair of heels though

[Doofus]

To be honest, the fker hasn't been back all day.

But somebodything shat on my car.